Apr 19 2010
Why men (and women too) flake so often
Few things are more frustrating about dating than our disappointments in people and their unreliable behavior. Because the phenomenon of “flaking” is so common, criticizing it and judging it, no matter how well justified, is of no benefit to the “victim” of flaking. Instead, understanding it and accepting flaking as a natural, normal part of dating can be quite useful in dealing with having others flake on you in the future.
You go to a shoe a store, see 100 pairs of shoes or more, and your eye catches 4 or 5 pairs that you would like to try on. Out of those few pairs, you find one that looks good and that is comfortable to wear. You buy that pair, wear it right away and a few blocks later, you might realize that these shoes are not as comfortable as you thought they were. A few minutes later, the discomfort becomes intolerable, and you are eager to return the shoes.
Lets face it – we don’t like most shoes, and even the ones we like at first, seem less attractive an comfortable shortly after we purchase them. Similarly, we don’t like most people and most people don’t like us in a romantic sense. There is nothing wrong with it. It’s quite natural. Further, people who seem to like us, are very likely to change their mind later for a whole range of reasons, many of which have little, or nothing to do with you. In fact, if you think about your own behavior and analyze it honestly and objectively, I am sure that you will find a few instances in your recent past, where you might have been considered a flake as well.
So, while I encourage you to always reflect on your behavior and the possible mistakes that you make in your interactions with the opposite sex, as this is one of the most effective ways to improve yourself, I urge you to not take flaking personally, as hard as it might be sometimes, and realize that like cheating, divorce, and jealousy – flaking is just a natural, negative side effect of human interaction that you have to be ready for.
And if a particular, recent, negative dating experience bothers you and someone hurt your feelings, this article on how to deal with break-ups might push you in the right direction toward recovering and getting back on a positive track. And if you are a woman, how has had series of disappointing experiences with men recently, I highly suggest that you read the article on handling negative dating past.
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