Many sources of dating advice suggest that women are not attracted to, and are not interested in, dating “nice” guys. However, few of those sources bother to explain why – why don’t women find the so called nice guys attractive and desirable? Why is it that women do not find desirable the kinds of gusy which fit the criteria of what they want in a guy? Why is it that they ask for a sweet, caring, genuine, generous guy, but once they meet one, they get bored so quickly and they can’t wait to move on because they just feel that “there is no chemistry there.”
In order to understand this fascinating phenomenon, it is crucial that you realize and remember that there is a fundamental difference between being a nice guy and being an attractive guy. Did you ever ask yourself – what does it mean being attractive to a woman? Well, in short it means being an interesting individual who has qualities that make him an interesting and a good company. Look at this concept carefully for a moment – “good” alone and in itself won’t cut it. It must be good and interesting. Being good means all those positive qualities of being honest, caring, genuine, considerate, and all other traits that make a nice guy. But, how does that guy become interesting? Well, to be an interesting company, you must be confident, funny, and different from other guys. All my dating audio programs for guys are dedicated to explaining in great detail what being confident, different, and funny means. For the purposes of this article I want to suggest to you that it means anything but being “nice.” If all you are is a nice guy, this means that you are boring! You are not doing anything to challenge a woman’s mind, to contribute to and openly critique her opinions, to make her laugh, to be sarcastic and tease her, and to make fun of her and yourself in an endearing and charming way that will turn your interaction with her into a fun and memorable banter. If all you do is saying “excuse me, I agree, exactly, I am sorry, are you ok? are you sure about this?” and alike, you are anything but an attractive man. You are considerate, polite, kind, and all those other great things, but you are NOT sexy to her! You don’t turn her on! And without that, you can’t possibly be a romantic/dating candidate.
Think about it – there are certain qualities that you expect to see in a woman! Her body must be of a certain shape. Her behavior must make her come across as gentle, elegant and feminine. Well, a woman is also looking to find certain fundamental qualities in a man that she wants to be romantically involved with. These qualities have nothing to do with being a nice guy, simply because she wants every guy she deals with socially, at work, at school or in any other setting to be nice. There has to be something else in a guy she will be attracted to, beyond being nice – he has to show that masculinity that manifests itself in confidence, sense of humor and standing out from the rest of the guys in simple but obvious ways. We just talked briefly about confidence and humor. What about being different from other guys? Well, there are quite a few ways in which you can stand out form the rest. You might be different because you have a certain rare hobby that captures your soul and consumes a lot of your time. Your hobby or hobbies excite you and reflect on your personality and your passion for doing what you enjoy so much. Seeing a man with a passion is naturally attractive to women. You may come across as a different and a better guy just because you don’t get as drunk when you are out like everyone else, and you don’t allow yourself to degrade to the embarassing levels of stupor like many other guys in bars and clubs. When a woman sees that you give yourself more respect by not lowering yourself to the levels of others around you, she is very likely to be intrigued by you – that guy who doesn’t conform to the behavior of others and who likes to be in control of himself at all times. Perhaps there is a unique style to your appearance or perhaps you worked on your linguistic skills and you are more eloquent than the average guy out there – those are just a few other random, simple ways in which you can stand out and be more attractive to women.
So, what am I trying to say here? The bottoms line is this: being a nice guy is great and you shouldn’t change that about yourself. But, you should be nice and something more than just that – that something that makes you attractive and even sexually desirable to women – you must possess the qualities that distinguish you and set forth your masculinity clearly to the opposite sex. And those qualities are your sense of humor, your confidence, and your being different from most other, average nice guys.