A reader asks: “I met this guy I really, really liked. We went out on a date, and the chemistry between us was undeniable on all levels. I went for it and had sex with him at the end of our first date. No, none of us were drunk and it didn’t happen while on vacation. We stayed up all night and had an incredible time in every way. He was as affectionate, interesting and great in bed as I could ever wish for, and at the age of 34, I have some point of reference. It has been about a week. We have been talking and seen each other once, so I can’t really complaining about anything. I am just wondering whether generally sleeping with a guy on a first date will necessarily prevent him from wanting to have a serious relationship with me and will make him see me in a light of someone who is “easy” and not worthy of dating long-term?”
PH Answers:
While sleeping with a guy on a first date can have an impact on the dynamics between the two of you, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you won’t be able to have a serious relationship just because of that. There is another, far more important factor that will determine his level of interest in you after having sex with you on a first date – the quality of that experience. If he found your company in and out of bed to be as an incredible and as exceptional as you found his, he will want to see you and get to know you better, unless of course he is someone who is on a mission to having sex with as many different women as possible, and he is not looking for a serious relationship one way or the other.
The opposite is true as well – waiting to have sex with the guy you met for months will not guarantee that he won’t lose interest and disappear right after having sex with you for one of those reasons. Contrary to what some suggest, just because you worked harder to get something, doesn’t automatically mean that you will want to hold on to it more. Again – it’s the quality of that something that matters so much more than the amount of work it took to get it.
