Yesterday, I received a very important question from a woman, asking me what she should do in a situation where the guy she has been seeing wants to kiss her and put his tongue in places where she doesn’t feel comfortable his mouth to be.
Here is one practical way to approach this situation. First, ask yourself why you don’t feel comfortable letting the guy kiss you everywhere? If you simply don’t enjoy being kissed, touched, and licked in certain places, then tell him that. It might not be a big deal for him, or might be a big deal and a big part of his sexual experience with you, and not something that he is willing to compromise for. Then, the question will be how important it is for you to maintain your position and not out of principle but only out of how doing what he wants you to do with him makes you feel.
If the reason that you don’t let him go with his mouth to certain parts of your body is because of any kind of your shyness or insecurities, it would be well worth it for you to try beating those issue and opening up to him physically, so that both of you can enjoy sex and physical intimacy more than before. You can start doing this by first sharing with your guy that you are facing certain mental obstacles and letting him do whatever he wants. If you are concerned about how your body looks or how the parts of your body where he wants to kiss you would appear to him and that’s the reason you are not as available to him physically, you shouldn’t be. If he wants to have a taste of you, it means that he finds what he sees and what he wants to put in his moutn attractive enough to want more. As one of my friends told me recently about how he preceives attraction and sexual chemistry – “a woman doesn’t necessarily have to be hot; she only needs to look and feel hot to me.”
For many guys being able to put their mouth on every single inch of your body is an extremely important part of physical intimacy. For that kind of guy, not being able to kiss and lick certain parts of your body would be be like having a foreplay without having sex. For some men, being able to have sex with a woman but not being able to enjoy her feet or her behind would be analgous to a woman’s experience, where the guy is touching and caressing her vagina without peneterating it. It will be frustrating and unsatisfying. For some guys, “sixty nine” is more important than penetration or at least as important as penetration.
One of the most amazing sexual experiences you can have as a woman is being physically and sexually worshipped by the guy who you have feelings for and who you find attractive and desireable. Ideally, you should feel lucky to have that kind of guy in your life. But if you don’t, and if his desire for you makes you feel uncomfortable, but at the same time there is a chance that you could open up more and let him taste all of you, you might just uncover a whole new world of sexual experiences and emotions. At the very least, try to be open to the possibility and give yourself and him a chance to experience what he wants before you make up your mind about it.