Insecurities and lack of confidence are one of the biggest challenges and barriers in a man’s road toward becoming more successful with women and dating. In order to overcome and eliminate those insecurities with women, it is essential to understand what their sources is and what causes that lack of confidence with women. While surely there is more than one factor that affect’s a man’s confidence and self esteem with women, my observations clearly suggest that the single greatest cause of insecurities that guys have with women is guilt!
Let me explain. Most guys, especially in the western parts of the world, have the experience of meeting, going out and even trying to date those women who have been confused and traumatized by their negative dating experience with guys. A typical woman in the modern world has been lied to, cheated on and otherwise disappointment in men many times. As a result, many of those women become extremely jaded and even develop general resentment toward the male kind as a whole. When you meet such a woman, you will notice that her shields/guards against being approached by a guy and meeting a guy are unsually high. It’s clear that she assumes about guys the worst from the very beginning until and unless proven otherwise. Such a woman would act as if she was doing you a favor by talking to you. Soon after you meet her, she will start complaining to you about guys and she will make it clear to you that she considers it generally inappropriate for a guy to “hit” on girls and pick them up. This kind of woman would generally come across as uptight, and possibly even frigid – having her sexual nature repressed and making an impression that she doesn’t desire a physical closeness with a man.
When a guy meets such women over and over, he starts believing that what he wants – approaching, meeting, talking, attracting, and sleeping with women – is indeed wrong and that he should really feel guilty about it. I wish to urge you against developing such a line of thinking. You must not allow those women who are clearly victims of their past dating experience turn you into an insecure guy who feels that he is doing something wrong when he feels sexually attracted to a woman and wants to meet her and possibly date her. You must remember a simple truth – if it wasn’t for pick-up and dating – if it wasn’t for our fathers making a move on our mothers, none of us would be here now.
It’s a shame, in my opinion, that such terms as “hitting on a girl,” “pick up,” and “meat market” have such a negative connotation in our soceity. After all, what is wrong with the above things? “Hitting on a girl” means trying to meet her. “Pick up” means essentially the same. And “meat market” means nothing other than a certain social environment that facilitates people’s ability to meet each other for dating, sex, etc. I see nothing wrong with any of the above things. And I am convinced that you don’t either.
So what does this mean to you? Well, in simple terms it means that in order to overcome or not even let insecurities affect your behavior and actions with women, you must stay away from the above-mentioned women. Spending any time with a woman who doesn’t make you feel welcome, who doesn’t seem to be genuinely interested in your company, and who perceives you as a “dog” who only wants to have sex with her without having any real reasons to assume that, is very damaging to your confidence and self-esteem. Therefore, you must stay away from those women and seek the company of those women whose open feminine demeanor, desire to be courted and romanced, and strong female sexuality make you feel like a man and help you overcome and eliminate your insecurities with women.