Many women have the frustrating experience of going out with a guy on one or a few dates, thinking that things go very well between the two of them, and then having that guy suddenly stop calling, lose all interest in them and disappear. It is probably not a big deal when it happens with one or two guys, but if this has been your experience with men over and over for several years or longer, it is hard to not take this personally and not start believing that there is something about you that turns men off and makes those men lose interest in you over and over. Obviously, every dating situation and every interaction between you and a guy is unique and different. Therefore, the reasons behind the guy losing interest in you can be just as different. Having said that, there are several common reasons that a man may lose interest in you, besides the typical “no chemistry” situation, and the other very common situation, where the guy is simply not interested in dating one woman as he just wants to date, have fun and sleep around with different women.  The following are top eight reasons why men lose interest in a woman they started seeing, and what you can do to eliminate those possible causes and thus increase your ability of keeping the guy’s interest and desire to be with you:
1. Guys Lose Interest In You Because You Are Overweight
It is a cruel but also a true fact that if a woman is not physically attractive enough, there will be guys who willing to go out with her, but that usually wont’ last very long. While there is only so much we can do to improve our looks and be more attractive physically, there is one major step that a woman can take to become more attractive, and that’s  – losing weight, if she is overweight. The very interesting fact that’s rarely mentioned about women is this: if you are not overweight – if your body is reasonably fit – chances are that unless there is some serious disfigurement in your face or body, you are probably attractive enough and sexually desirable to most guys, and now what really matters is your personality. However, if you are overweight, losing weight and building a more attractive body is critical to your ability to attract more men – from catching their eye when you are walking down the street, to wanting them to talk to you at a bar or a restaurant or online, and eventually wanting to touch you.  This is not to mention all the other benefits that losing excess weight will have on your life – better health, more energy, higher self confidence, better posture, and numerous other benefits that go well beyond dating.
2. Guys Lose Interest In You Because You Talk Too Much
No matter how smart a person is, if he dominates a conversation, he will be boring and even tiring to the other person. I and my friends met some incredibly beautiful women over the course of our dating lives, but we simply couldn’t stand being around some of them because they wouldn’t stop talking. While it’s obvious when someone else talks a lot, it’s not nearly as noticeable when you evaluate your own conversational habits. One of my favorite ways to keep yourself in check and making sure that you don’t talk too much is making sure that you don’t talk for longer than 30 seconds in a row without letting the other person respond. I also encourage you to ask your friends whether they think you talk too much or interrupt their conversation or otherwise dominate your interaction. Insist that they be honest with you and not tell you what you want to hear, but instead – tell you how it is. And if you have any doubt about how unattractive excessive chattiness is, just think about person, a guy or a woman, who you know talks to much, and ask yourself yourself whether you find it annoying in them. I bet the answer is going to be a resounding yes.
3. Guys Lose Interest In You Because You are Too Uptight
This girl told me once on the phone that she couldn’t meet me because her car broke down, to which I replied: “Well, that’s what happens when you let women drive.” Instead of laughing at the comment as most women would, she got angry, thought I was serious, hung up on me and later demanded an apology. Few things are bigger turn-offs and are more unattractive than a woman who is uptight, who can’t take a joke and who says “Ahh, how dare you!” instead of laughing at an inappropriate comment or a sexual innuendo and dishing one of her own. Dark humor, sarcasm and sexual comments are a spice life and love life for every interesting, ambitious guys. If you are interesting in dating and having a relationship with one, you should consider stopping to take yourself too seriously, open your mind and enjoy dark humor, rather than being intimidated by it or judge it.
4. Guys Lose Interest In You Because You Are Boring
If you don’t have much to say, and if you don’t have too many interesting thoughts and observations to share, and you don’t know how to respond to what the guy you are seeing says, thinks and believes in, you are not going to keep a great guy’s interest for very long. Boring dates feel like a torture, and no one is interested in going into one or sticking around when they realize that they have to push the conversation to simply fill the time. Surely there is no shortcut to becoming a more interesting person, but there is a great, long-term solution – you started learning more things about yourself, about your environment and the world. TV, magazines, books, meeting new people, watching different shows, and engaging in social events will give you much more material to think about and form your views on. Surely, there is a lot of junk out there on TV and in magazines, but there is also lots of good material. It is your duty to choose and “filter” the bad stuff out. As you become a more interesting woman, this will go far beyond improving your dating life and will make you much more attractive and interesting to your friends, and co-workers, and will likely create new social and professional opportunities for you that you didn’t even think existed and were available to you.
5. Guys Lose Interest In You Because You Are an Ultra Feminist
While equality and equal rights are great, more and more women take the notion of feminism way too far. For some women showing and proving to the world that they can do and be anything a guy can is their life’s mission. Equally opportunities for women is a great concept without which no society has the right to call itself free and civilized.  However, when this equality comes at the expense of femininity and elegance – women pay a high price of becoming very unattractive to the opposite sex. It’s a fundamental law of nature that masculine, confident, attractive men are attracted to the opposite – feminine women – women who possess a feminine voice, walk, and manners. Don’t take me wrong. I would never suggest that a woman should stay home and cook and clean. This is not what it is about.
A woman can be very educated, successful and independent and still retain her femininity and be proud of being a woman. Stop hiding the fact that you are different from guys. You are and it’s good news – good for you and for men. There is a saying “Bitches get corner office.” I seriously doubt it. Part of being professional and romantically successful has always been being a lady, and being a lady and a “bitch” are mutually exclusive.
6. Guys Lose Interest In You Because You Are a Victim of Your Own Bad Dating Past
Many women have a bad relationship with a guy who is controlling and possessive at least once in their lives. Breaking up with such a guy feels like a very liberating experience – like putting more air in your lungs, like letting your tied wings go free, if you will. A woman who goes through such a bad relationship in which she submitted to the guy’s controlling and possessive nature, jumps into another extreme with the other guys that she meets later. She makes it a point to show to every guy she meets that she is not going to “obey” him and do what she wants. She will do the opposite from what the guys asks or suggests just for the sake of showing that no one can tell her what to do, and that she decides what she does for herself. This is unfortunate because it creates unnecessary problems and challenges in communication. If you believe that you create such challenges in your interaction with men, you should do your best to not let your past negative experience with a jealous guy affect your present and future interactions with men.
7. Guys Lose Interest In You Because You Are Not Great in Bed / You Are a Mediocre Sex Partner
Many women either ruin the romantic tension and the connection with the guy in bed. Few women act in a way that will make sleeping with them a great, memorable experience that the guy is eager to repeat. Some of the big turn-offs for guys are women who are either too quiet in bed (not making any sounds that would indicate their enjoyment and would look like they are bored), or those who talk too much, or say something inappropriate and irrelevant at the very wrong time. Not many women know what they are doing with their hands and their mouth when it comes to the man’s body. If a man had a mediocre experience sleeping with you for the first time, he is unlikely to want to do that again.
This might sound extreme, but there is probably no better way to learn how to be a better sex partner than by observation. Thus, you should not be afraid to rent erotic or even quality pornographic movies that will inspire you and will give you some great ideas on how to make your sexual experience more sensational and satisfying to both you and the guy. Make no mistake about it – this kind of skill is not common, and your guy, especially if he has “been around the block” will appreciate it because he knows that this is not common. Sure, you might be grossed out by some of the things you are going to see in these movies, but if you learn a thing or two out of a movie that will make your and your potential or existing partner’s sex life more exciting and fulfilling, that movie was time well spent.
8. Guys Lose Interest In You Because You Are Too Competitive and “Feisty”
It is very common for a woman who had dated a controlling, possessive, jealous guy to try to “make up” to herself for that time that she was subjected to such treatment, by jumping into another extreme, and challenging her next partner for a reason or not reason just for the sake of showing to him over and over and he cannot control her. She will disagree on the place to eat, go out at, travel to, and do not because she doesn’t like his idea, but because she wants to demonstrate to him that he cannot control her. A strong, confident guy will be turned-off and will lose interest in such a woman quickly because to him – such an attitude is incompatible with a very notion of being feminine. If you believe that you have been trying to overcompensate for the past “subordination” in your relationships with men by being too independent and too competitive, do yourself a favor and don’t allow your past haunt your present future and don’t allow the immaturity of your past dating partners to negatively affect your dating life today.
No one can guarantee to you any kind of protection from meeting and seeing guys who will later lose interest in you. However, by paying attention to the above six possible issues that you might be having in your interactions with guys, you will dramatically improve the chances of keeping any guy’s interest and coming across as a more attractive and desirable woman.
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Women are a lot of work for a lot of risk and little reward. Not surprising male interest in them has faded.
There is a simple solution to all of this, show respect for yourself and others.
So women if you want men to respect you back, show them respect by not just sleeping with only the 10% of guys who hang out as pick up artists at the club ect.
Women if you expect a man to be 6 feet and in shape you had better be tall an in shape. If you expect a man to make tons of money and have a great career, you go out an make a ton of money and have a great career. Anything you expect of a partner you expect of yourself. So that big long list you use to qualify us take it out in front of the bathroom mirror and ask yourself if you measure up.
Women will not go for this because they know they have almost 100% control over the dating world till they hit 35 LOL! Then reality hits and their irresponsible eating habits, and sexual habits destroy them. No pity.
I like this advice. Both sexes should certainly adopt this and not only when it comes to dating. If you expect a great partner or a great position at work or anything else great, check first if you deserve it and if you have enough to offer in return.
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Men never loose interest in sex its just the older we get the less excited we are over it, and the girls have to younger and hotter to get us excited.
It comes to a point that achieving an orgasm is better with porn,fantasy and masturbation. Sex is hard work and its not worth the work to get to ejaculation unless the girl were doing is very sexually stimulating.
Eventually men stop letting his hormones throw caution to the wind over pregnancy, marriage, STDs, early mornings getting the kids to school, worrying how he would ever afford the extremely high price of college his kid(s) may want to go to. Basically all the fears men have if he has a kid or gets married.
If a man is lucky enough to check off his list of the sexual adventures/fetishes he has on it and didn’t let his hormones and brain effect his better judgment men often choose not to engage with women sexually any more.
Since the beginning of the women’s movement women are getting harder and harder to deal with and the rewards or having a girlfriend/wife are now so few men younger and younger that are perfectly healthy mind and body are opting out of dealing with females all together.
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Actually, I think men lose interest in sex because the women reject us. I’ve only been married for 3 years and already my wife’s rejection has hurt me in ways that have caused major resentment. She knows this. We’ve talked about it multiple times. She doesn’t care. No matter what I do, I cannot connect with this woman. It’s like she doesn’t even really need me around. And I’m getting the the point where I’m losing interest. I’m literally shutting off my own sex drive just because of her rejection and failure to connect with me.
You should speak with her asap about what’s going on. The way to do it is without arguing or accusing her of anything, as we often can’t help how we feel, and whether we want something or not. Then, after you speak, you can consider taking steps in any direction.
Proofread the article guys. Jesus Christ.
That article is very shallow and full of BS. “Ruining romantic tension” b/c you’re not an omg amazing sex partner what a nonsense nvm judging first time sex as hot or not. If that’s all it takes for you to lose interest it’s your problem you’re no catch or relationship material anyway. Such mentality got nothing to do with romantic feelings or love. What normal person even has a checklist like that nit picking on their dates level of entertainment not too much or too little as well as (pornographic) sex acts and how well they do it. The more I read this subjective biased garbage the more hate I felt towards whoever wrote it. Needlees to say these are completely useless advices unless you need a dbag manual but how about normal decent guys next time?
MGTOW ladies look it up.. then go get a cat..thats all you will get.
Take care of your body, be a productive member in society, don’t take life too seriously, and be reliable. I’m constantly amazed at how hard it is to find girls that fit those broad standards.
To follow up on this – I too am amazed how defensive and intolerant people are of views that differ from theirs. If one disciplines himself / herself not to respond to something they disagree with, with an insult, that alone will make them stand out from the rest in this society.
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Whoa was the first thing that came to my mind. I can’t believe how mean
this article is. I love thick women. I love women that talk all the
time. I really do. I love feisty women too. (As long as feisty doesn’t
mean sleeping around lol.) Some of the advice I do like. Like not being
an over zealous feminist, or being overly competitive. I think the guy
could talk about what he wants from sex with you. I personally wouldn’t
break up with a girl over bad sex, unless she was trying to get pregnant
or didn’t warn me about an STD. I think if a lady was that confused by
why the guy wasn’t contacting her anymore, she could reach out to the
guy and ask him. Usually when I don’t contact a girl back it’s because
I’m to shy and nervous too! I’ll also not approach a women because I’m
to shy or nervous too.
#1 reason: Women are too fat.
#2 reason: Women are too fat.
#3 reason: Women are too fat.
If a guy says that they like big women they are most likely lying. Studies have shown that about 50% of men will say they would date a fat woman over a skinny one but when the study had a different set of men actually go on a date 95% of them picked the skinny/average weight woman.
Woman do the same. It’s extremely rare to find a woman dating a man one inch shorter than them. Also most women don’t like fat men.
What studies are these? They sound like arbitrary numbers that you came up with yourself.
That is why I lost the ability to become aroused by my ex. Eventually she got so fat I couldn’t stop thinking about how her calves touched her feet and how she had no wrists. Even like mid-fuck, these thoughts would pop into my head. I tried and tried but it wasn’t possible. I’d just go limp. She was pretty attractive when I met her and eventually she got so fat her gut protruded more than her already naturally gigantic tits. That’s another thing I couldn’t unsee. As soon as I mentally registered the boobydoo, it was completely over. And I was already the better looking one to begin with. I stayed with her anyway though, because we had made commitments and I was loyal. Put a massive amount of time & energy into her. And she fucked me over in the end. Another thing was her food aggressiveness. Like any time we were preparing food, she would obsessively have to have exactly as much food as me or more. Bear in mind, I am a 6’2″ man and she’s a 4’10” woman. There was this one time I made brie and butter sandwiches right… and she saw that mine had like a miniscule amount more cheese than hers did. She flipped the fuck out. I just offered her mine because I didn’t even care, but she was even more angry at me because I did that. It’s like, even indirectly pointing out what a food-obsessed piglet she was somehow made me the bad guy. Fuck her. I’m glad she’s gone. Hope she gets AIDS.
Thanks for sharing your story. I don’t think such mean wishes as getting AIDS are in place to a woman who clearly was insecure and unbalanced in more than one way, but a few lessons can be learned: (a) how we feel about someone’s body as men isn’t really up to us. If you are not attracted to a woman or are grossed out by her body, there is nothing you can do to change that; (b) contrary to what infomercials make us believe, it’s very easy to gain weight but very, very hard to lose it. Therefore, once you see that your partner is gaining way, it’s critical to alert them and pressure them into changing their eating habits, exercise routine to lose or at least stop gaining weight. That is, of course, if you care about her enough to put that effort in.
I don’t hope she gets AIDS because she ended up a fat bitch. I hope she gets AIDS because she gobbled up 16 years of my life, like it was another gordita, and completely betrayed me in the end. And that’s not even counting the money and other costs. And when I say “betray”, I mean in ways that you probably couldn’t even begin to guess. Really, if I told you the shit that she did, you wouldn’t even believe me. I’m talking meeting guys on the internet, going to a hotel room, purposely ingesting GHB (date rape drug) and meth, then having high risk sex, then (implied) fucking the guys DOG.
Mind you, she seemed to be the STABLE one, compared to all of her friends and all of my male friend’s girlfriends & wives. She used to talk a never-ending stream of shit on these other women, for being all sorts of filthy.
Wow, that’s a terrible story. We do have to remember that when it comes to relationships there is no way to insurance that spending a long time with someone wil be a worthy investment. But… no doubt that what happened was extremely hurtful. I am not sure how long you put up with all these things before it was over, but I hope it wasn’t too long.
I only found out about the really horrible shit after we had split up. Basically, two weeks before we split, she told me that she was going to spend the night at her mom’s. She fed me this story about how she was gonna watch movies with her mom, who was now alone, after breaking up with her boyfriend of like 10 years. I was like, “Sure hon! Spend time with your mom. I’ll invite my brother over and we’ll have quesadillas and watch something.” She comes home and she’s acting all weird, not answering simple questions about where she was and what she did. At this point, I had come to believe so strongly in her fidelity that I ignored clear signs. Then two weeks later, I wake up one Saturday and literally the first thing she says to me is, “I want to break up”. I just brewed coffee and sat down to drink it without a word. Then she started explaining that she wasn’t in fact with her mom. At that point, I moved out but remained in limited contact with her over the phone (mostly texting sometimes). And over time, I found out more and more. About two months after we split up, she calls me all upset & crying, asking if I’ll come over. So I do. She basically starts telling me how she made this huge mistake cheating on me, etc. and she wants to reconcile. I thought on what she said, and I told her: “If you admit that what you did was wrong and give me assurances that you have learned a lesson, then I will accept your apology”. She almost flipped out with joy at this point and wanted me to move back in straight away. I told her, hold up I need a few days to think about this. The next day she calls me and tells me that she was “hormonal” because of her period, and she didn’t know what she was saying to me. Oh I left out the part where she only called me because the other guy she’d been fucking had been threatening her and trying to get all her passwords because apparently he’s a possessive psycho. Anyway, I did not move back in, and over time I found out more and more disturbing shit. Then, I opened her email and accessed her computer remotely (which was really MY secondary computer – remember, IT consultant). I saw proof of the extent of her debauchery. As for the dog-fucking and kiddy-porn… I didn’t actually SEE that, but she herself told me about it.
I believe what happened was, she wasn’t feeling that she was getting attention from me (and rightly so, she’s a fat mess). So she started using Tinder and found perverts & chem-sexers who will bang literally anyone, and she set up a date. Then it all went down-hill from there, quite quickly.
That’s a movie production worthy story. I am trying to think of what less, if any, you can learn to avoid this type of woman in the future, but I can’t think of any. How about you?
I’ll tell you exactly what I’ve learned:
Any woman is capable of this sort of behavior. Even the ones that seem to be reasonable, stable, and smart. The reason is that they require male attention like we require air to breathe. And they will do whatever they have to do to get it. And since there’s no longer a stigma on being a filthy whore, they will do that too.
This happened almost two years ago, and I can tell you right now… I have no interest whatsoever in being involved, even on a limited basis, with any woman ever again.
One prominent dating advice guru recently stated that attention is women’s currency. Instagram certainly doesn’t help. I wonder if seeking attention is also biologically rooted in women. If so, why? What would be the greater purpose?
Of course it is (biologically rooted). Think about it from a survival perspective. A woman’s very survival used to 100% depend on her ability to catch the attention of a man. On the other hand, a man’s survival is 100% rooted on being able to adapt to and solve problems. This means a man must be smart & creative, while a woman must simply be a whore. I’m not *trying* to sound like a dick here, but what else is it called when you’re only goal is to trade your pussy for stability & safety? Even though a single woman can survive today, that has only been the case for a very short period of time. For most of human history, a woman without a man (or men) looking out for her = a dead woman.
Plus, in today’s world, women are raised with this idea that they’re all disney princesses, and that they should always “follow their heart”, etc. This does not exactly help monogamy.
I’m not even particularly trad. I never wanted a subservient wife-bot. I always wanted an equal partner. In fact, my ex-gf used to complain that I wouldn’t choke her and hit her during sex. And she had repeatedly expressed that she had rape-fantasies. This is something that is just totally unattractive to me, so I would not indulge her in that way.
Oh something else that I’ve learned… I am routinely told by people that it is MY fault that she broke up with me. Like I wasn’t good enough or man enough, etc. Because there’s this double-standard where women are not responsible for their actions. My own mother routinely blames me. In fact, just yesterday she made a comment to me like that. So I finally told her straight up: I was like, “Mom. You have no fucking idea about my relationship with Bridgette. You have no fucking idea of the things she’s done or why she’s done them.”
ha. men have 2 b accountable for all their actions. no matter how bizarre or erratic women become, they always have a built-in excuse for acting crazy : pms, perimenopause, menopause, post-menopause…pathetic!
Oh btw: My reply to her when she told me she wanted to break up, etc… It was, “OK. I’m taking the girls” (meaning the cats; one was mine and the other was hers but clearly loved me best). She didn’t even try to argue, even though she LOVED her cat to pieces.
Oh, and I did bring up her weight gain. Multiple times (despite the inherent unpleasantness involved). I also made sure there was never junk food in the house. The problem was, she spent her days at work sitting on her ass and shoveling candy down her gullet.
You see how many other guys will use her for sex and it makes no difference to them that she’s fat?
You really should tell her that her high fat diet will give her a heart attack.People aren’t supposed to eat anymore than ten grams of saturated fat and or trans fat per day or they are at an increased risk of having a heart attack.I found this out from famous heart doctor Dr.Dean Ornish.
My wife is thick. I married her for her soul though. She just made me feel like she was truly a unique and good woman. I’m fitter than she is. But she almost always rejects me and it hurts. But yeah deep down I’ve always preferred skinny chicks. Something deeper drew me to my wife. But now she acts as though she doesn’t need me.
This is unfortunate. It would be worth talking to you wife about how you feel not needed. We all want to feel needed and without out, a relationship can’t sustain.
As far as I can see for most men,women are just meat and holes and disposable Barbie dolls.It makes no difference to them.Sure there are a few guys who prefer skinny women,but those guys are SHALLOW and who cares about them? You shouldn’t think that women are going to starve themselves to get a guy like you.No guy out there is worth that much.
What crap. Men lose interest in women because men are sluts. They are biologically wired to want to stick it in a lot of holes. They lie because women don’t want to be with them if they are honest. They marry because they want to procreate and/or they think they are in love and want to take possession of a female, then they still lose interest eventually and want to stick it in other holes. This is more true than all the stuff in the article.
Maybe if u didn’t eat so much
Very funny. I am slender, but that is a typical moronic attitude.
You might be slender, but you sound extremely hostile and no one wants to deal with that on a regular basis regardless of how attractive you might be.
I’m not feeling hostile, but maybe my flippant way of replying sounds that way. I have a man, so I don’t have to worry about finding someone to deal with me on a regular basis….heh heh heh. I think maybe you don’t know when someone is not taking something too seriously and you are taking it way too seriously. …just my opinion…don’t get your panties in a wad.
Not all men are sluts and shallow as you describe. Just as not all women are.
Yes, I’m sure you’re right. Mostly, I was being flippant because I really couldn’t see how anyone would be responding seriously to the ludicrous article. I think there are plenty of nice men around who aren’t slutty and women too. Me and my man don’t run around so I know there are monogomous relationships. I think a lot of guys want to be with a lot of women because of biology… and I don’t judge that… I think they should be more honest and that was my point… the ones who are driven to get in a lot of women’s drawers don’t feel like they can accomplish that by being honest.
Found the feminist!
Really? I don’t think I am a feminist… just being realistic. When I say men are sluts it isn’t an indictment against men.. just an observation. Women are sluts too, not that there’s anything wrong with that. I think its unnatural for most men to be monogamous and that they are biologically disposed to spread their seeds. Its just what I observe about life… nothing but opinion and conjecture. Mostly, I’m just talking out my ass.
“Mostly, I’m just talking out my ass.”
Yeah everyone sees that. You just responded out of pure emotion with the most nonsensical replies. Typical woman. Thanks for proving our point. Why are you even here if you have a man? Sounds to me like he’s losing interest in you and you can’t cope. I can see why.
Yeah no. You are completely incorrect and women are the whores with no self control or concept of integrity. Myself and literally every single one of my male friends has experienced this. Not a single one of us ever cheated on our women. In every case, the woman destroyed a long-term relationship because she’s a born whore with no understanding of loyalty or personal honor. Every single case. I don’t even know any men that cheat on their wives. Oh and all of the men were totally loyal to their wives and only their wives (and they were content with that arrangement). A man wants to build a stable family structure and he wants a mate he can rely on. Women though… put them in a room with another man and it’s literally only a matter of time until she fucks him; so long as his sexual market value approaches or exceeds your own. Commitments mean absolutely nothing to women and that is why divorce statistics magically coincide with feminism. The stigma of being a slut is almost nonexistent now. Personally, I will still slut-shame a slut.
I’ve seen this too, great guys at home.. paying for everything and loving their girl friends. They hitting up and humping everything on the dance floor, while emasculating their men at home.
I went out to the bar with 16 female coworkers and they laughed about guys who were under 6 feet, small dicks and not Alphas. Some where married, just 3 weeks ago I watched as one after the other posted divorces on facebook… who are they with now the alpha mexican bartender with the douce bag flex Facebook profile pick in front of the dumb bells at the gym. I just watched one of the other ones a buddist post she’s moving on from her BF/Husband of 10 years…..It’s hard not to see everything people are saying as being true when I’ve watched almost every women I’ve meet in the last 10 years treat their BF’s and Husbands like garbage. I’m not talking 1 or 2, I’m talking about a lot of women.
“I’m talking about a lot of women.”
Some might even say, “all of them”.
This is terrible advice. Ladies, go to another website. There is nothing wrong with being a feminist or competitive. Only insecure men are afraid of these things. You want to date a man secure in himself. Unfortunately, many men are insecure. You’ll have to separate the wheat from the chaff. But don’t compromise your standards!
I’d say its 95% on feminism.
Men are getting progressively tired of a woman who treats men as pieces of shit. And they can just masturbate to porn and that’s it.
So I guess that it sucks to be a woman, but (at least feminists) women shot themselves in the foot.
Hopefully, this will make us, men, appreciate the other kind of women all the more.
We’ll said, there is some hope. I’ve been talking to a girl or two in the next generation and what the 30 year old women are doing is being talked about by everyone. They don’t have much pitty going their way when they hit the wall at 35 and discover that the 200 emails they got a day telling them how great they were dry up and no 6 foot jacked guy is waiting to marry them. Also they discover that the “few” extra pounds they had since their 20’s won’t come off and that they’ve put on another 30 pounds. their sexual market value has gone to zero and they aren’t used to having to deal with reality of not getting what they want or any responsibility. Such as eating like an adult or treating men/ and their fellow women with respect. I have no pity for them.
please acknowledge the true meaning of what feminism actually is before coming to a conclusion.
Cancer. Feminism is cancer. Back to porn…
Juice is no longer worth the squeeze. It’s that simple. Men are gonna do what they want to do. Not a whole lot of men are simply out to fuck themselves over.
The reason a man may lose interest should purely be based on that particular man. These above examples only apply to few men. Some men love overweight women. Some men love a woman that talks a lot. The guy I am seeing now just sits and watches me in awe when I get going on a particular subject. And they are actually some men who will wait to have sex with you until you both are either married or have grown in love with each other. This article is a perfect example of what we as women need to be aware of to be able distinguish between nature men and shallow little boys. 😎
What about the millions of shallow women?
“But what about _______?” Is poor form in any debate, and doesn’t invalidate the truth of her statement.
I don’t see a problem with this type of question, or perhaps I don’t understand what you mean?
Shirley’s comment made several points, it ended with a comment about some shallow men. Deepblue9 didn’t engage in a thoughtful discussion of anything she brought up, only tried to turn the table and have her argue the point of his choosing, that there are shallow women out there. Shallow women were not part of the discussion and this tactic is not good form. It takes the conversation away from the topic and never reaches conclusion, while putting the orignal party on the defensive of an arbitrary accusation that only appears to fit because they both used the same word “shallow”.
So true. Getting defense and referring to men (or women) as shallow is pointless for at least two reasons: first, we are all shallow in a way. It’s not a bad thing or a good thing. It’s just is. It’s our nature. Secondly, calling others shallow doesn’t solve anyone’s challenges that they are dealing with in their dating lives. Attacking the other side never does.
No one is shallow for wanting a partner who is in shape and moving forward in their life man or women. People are only shallow when they pretend to be genuine and just say and do to get whatever they want. Case in point every out of shape women I’ve ever been friends with has tried to sleep with me and the last friend I had was a gay guy who tried as well…. All made the same idiot comments like people who were attracted to in shape women were shallow… yet they all tried to sleep with me. I am 6 feet with a six pack and like to work out. I’ve meet a few more single women as friends and immediately try to qualify me or try for more. it’s getting annoying no one is real anymore.
Oh on a side note my old buddy who was 250 pounds only dates thin men and complains constantly there are no men while leaning in to brush her breast on me when we hang out. Needless to say no longer friends. It goes on and on. The vast majority of women are NUTS!
go to porn hub or any site and please show me where the fat women are in the top 100? If there are any how many? thats about as many men want a fat women period. I hate the white knight men who post I love fat women and so do other men lol. Your argument is so easy to beat even women laugh at it.
Porn sites are actually a good indicator of what most men like. Although they are different categories of women on those sites, including mature, chubby, etc… the majority of models are not fan but also not as skinny as the European models. It seems well established that what most men want are mildly curvy bodies with a flattering hip to waste ratio.
Porn Hub ect are as near perfect indicators of what Men and Women want visually as sexual partners we can hope to get. In fact the porn sites were the first to admit men actually find more muscle on women attractive because it is! So each year we expect women to work out more, it’s to the point that we expect them to have 10 pounds more muscle, that’s 10 pounds more muscle…. women on the other hand expect men to have 40+ pounds more muscle lol. It’s funny because the vast majority of guys can only genetically put on around 20-30 pounds more muscle without steroids. Who has the unrealistic expectations?
Interesting. Do men really like muscular women. I am kind of grossed by a site of a woman who has too many muscles, six pack, etc… And if a woman’s lower part of the body – i.e. butt and legs looks like they could be easily on a man it’s almost disturbing.
Yeah I think that’s a turn-off too. Huge muscles are not a sign of feminine fertility, which is probably why they are unattractive to most men.
I recently stumbled upon a convincing article stating that while fertility is the ultimate goal of consummation, it’s not the only or even the most dominant factor in attraction. Consider a very attractive woman who happened to be infertile. Would she be any less desirable? Or the opposite – a muscular woman who has no problem bearing children. Will it make her more attractive? No. Fertility is just one factor.
They often say that hips to waste ratio is attractive to men precisely because of fertility. I am quite skeptical that this is the real reason or the main reason..
Actual fertility and perceived signs of fertility are two separate things though. An infertile woman can outwardly exhibit all of the classic signs of fertility. Even things that men aren’t consciously aware of (smell, etc.).
Go to any yoga studio and see how awesome women look with 10 pounds of muscle on them. They don’t look anywhere near huge, most certainly not like the huge fitness chicks but yes women can work out and look incredible. They look fit/lean if that makes any sense. But ya if women have high expectations of men to the point where we have to take steroids to get that big they can go to a yoga class and put on those 10 pounds of muscle.
Fit and tones women can look great. I was talking about extremely muscular women with no fat, no hips, six pack and bulging biceps. Of course different men have different tastes but many would find that type of physical quite unattractive.
That defensive bargain thou! Who should be more lazy in not working on themselfs – men or women? The answer is – women, because unlike farting bearded stupid agressive men, they’v been told by them how to look and behave all this time, so now its women time to be fat boring screaming annoying bitches. Haha. way to go
I saw in shape men everywhere growing up, pictures of the old days show in shape men… and women.
In fact I’m shocked they say there are more fat men than women because I see in shape guys everywhere at university, work on the busy. Almost never do I run into a women that works out aside from fitness classes.
1) women are overweight and should slim down: What’s overweight to you? Above dress size 6, 8,10, 12, 14, 16 or 18? And define attractive, numbers in her bra size and her Chanel or the content of her heart?
2) women talk too much:
That depends on what talk is. At some point there’ll be a long and winding story and you probably have one too, bet you’d expect her to listen,right? Nod, hear, and don’t suggest a solution.
3) some are too uptight:
Maybe you’re dating in the wrong circles, bring your standards down. (And by the way that joke makes you a shallow douchebag. No, there is no humour, only tool).
4) women are boring: And that’s why we read dating profiles and try to find common ground before dating (also maybe the conversation you’re leading is about boring fat uptight women you’ve dated and she’s just stunned and eventually blurts out that you’re a misogynistic pig, nit that it makes her…)
5) women are ultra feminist:
Which you point out the dearth of femininity of so called ultra feminists and accuse more and more women becoming fresh victims for the ever growing army of the undead (and what the hell is wrong with a woman who doesn’t look feminine, maybe because you don’t want to get beaten by a girl in a wrestling match?)
6) women are wounded by their last relationship and over compensate with domineering to ensure their control in the situation:
Man, have a heart, and offer to hear about it, let her express her vulnerability once more. Be empathic and understanding, because I guarantee these wome wouldn’t wish what they went through on anyone (and they aren’t doing it on purpose either).
7) women are lousy at sex:
Quiet I’ve encountered, and yes its weird, but not knowing what to do, have you made a suggestion or led by example? Have you asked for some volume (or opened your ears), put her hands where/how you like it? Also have yu ever simultaneously kissed her while finding both the clitoris and the g-spot (as part of a good dose of foreplay)? Nothing venture, nothing win.
8) women are feisty
Wow! And its over compensation, is it? Sounds like spirited and could be an energetic time if you ask me. In the right doses, that never say due attitude is pure confidence – but guess you have none side you’re such a slave to pretty, meek girls.
Hint: the original romcom Pride and Prejudice is the story of a feisty, headstrong woman who breaks an absolute toff in hat on a horse into changing to become a less proud, much better man. Time for a read (or a watch) methinks…
Sincerely, a real man.
Wow, you’re an asshole. What kind of woman would date you? Not any ones with an ounce of self-esteem. Ladies, don’t listen to this “advice”. This loser wants you to turn into a doormat with no self-esteem.
Thanks for your kind words and solid logical conclusions. That’s exactly what the articles say – women should be doormats with no self esteem. I am sure that if you count the number of times the term “doormat” has been used in the article, it will prove your point.
If you think that joking about a woman’s ability to drive and her not finding it funny is the equivalent of being too “uptight”, then it’s apparent that you have little respect for women. And if you cite being a feminist as reason why men don’t want to date a woman, then you sound like a misogynist. I guess some of the baby boomer and X generation women might buy this bull, but the 20-something millenials both men and women are not entrenched in the kind of sexist thinking of your generation. But I guess your article is not directed towards them. Still, it’s time to join the 21st century and leave that sexist attitude back in the Victorian era where it belongs.
Your advice is bad and only a woman with zero self-esteem would buy any of this BS.
There is plenty of space between the two extremes. Making a joke in an attempt to be funny doesn’t make one a misogynist. And being an ultra feminist – i.e. trying to foster traditionally male traits and qualities is a nightmare for many men, and that number is growing. The article is meant for those who see how distorted today’s world and gender dynamics can be. The article is meant for those who realize that we pay the price for how badly women were treated in the past, but what’s going on today is unhealthy as well. Excessive policy correctness kills a lot of joy in so many ways. The advice is meant for women who secure enough to consider the possibility that maybe previous generations weren’t wrong on every single level and there is something we could learn from them and use to our advantage today. The article is meant for those women who realize that there is more to life than getting a promotion or a corner office. at any cost. The most insecure woman is the one who makes it her life objective to prove that she can be anything a man can be, while paying to high a personal price for that. I support fully equal opportunities and every woman should be free to choose what she wants. It is still sad to see when certain choices are made.
So long as prejudice against women is pervasive in our society, feminism can never be “extreme”. You can argue that the Black Panthers were extreme, but they were an understandable reaction to extreme aggression towards African Americans (eg, lynchings, Jim Crow, slavery). Likewise, so long as there is misogyny, rape, violence against women, social and professional oppression of women (eg, death threats against female gamers, refusal to promote competent female software engineers, sexism), denial of basic rights of women (eg, 9 year old girls forced into “marriages” with 50 year old men in the developing world) there will never be “extreme” feminism. The extremism you see is an understandable reaction to the systematic exploitation of women and girls’ and undermining their right to freedom, equality and just being treated like a human being. Until men can one day objectively see the pernicious ramifications of theirs prejudice and explotative behavior towards women, feminism can never be “extreme”.
Men: shoot ’em up, castrate ’em all! I’ll turn gay now.
Please, turn gay, and leave the women alone!
Now that’s an idea…
Well, when one considers that the last couple of generations have been indoctrinated into the mindset that men are worthless at best, and rapists at worst, there isn’t much for me to lose is there?
I well understand the reasons behind this extreme feminism (whether it has reasons or not doesn’t change the fact than it is). The big question is whether taking this extreme approach is the most effective way to remedy injustices, and if so – at what cost. I guess time will will show.
Once again, it’s not “extreme feminism”. It’s a rational, feminist reaction to systematic persecution of women from the Muslim world to the Christian one. Women need to be very independent and strong because we have been oppressed in the past and continue to be oppressed today. Take for example the recent lenient sentences given to young white men who have sexually assaulted women on college campuses. That these young men would receive such light prison sentences (and in one case no prison time at all) speaks volumes about how much our society values men and devalues women.
You’re a piece of fucking filth. Rape would be too lenient for scum such as you.
Amen! 🙂
It has nothing to do with generation. I’m a Y Gen and lots of Y Gens i know are not uptight stupid feminists and only a feminist would say dumb s t like you’ve said. Stop with the ‘misoginist’, ‘X Gen’ ‘Y Gen’ bulls t.
He left out ‘unaccountable’ and always dodging accountability, like you’re doing right now. That’s how U.S. women became fat (more women are fat now than men in the U.S.) butch like a man, lazy, flaky, boring and extremely bossy trying to bark orders at men.
411: Relationships are a 2 way street, something women forgot a long time ago and stopped even trying to do anything to make themselves attractive to men. That’s why most men are not marrying now in the U.S. U,S, women are now just trash.
Your comment history is astounding. You’re definitely a sexist who doesn’t get laid enough. Sorry your internalized anger towards women is affecting your daily life, you really are miserable. Also, sorry, boo– Feminism isn’t over and you’d probably know and understand it if you even knew what it was. But alas, like most people, you have it mixed up and continue to plea ignorance. Thank god you old fucks won’t be around in 40 years and even then you’ll be a vegetable or incoherent… Thank god.
says the fat, uptight, “feisty” feminist who can’t get a date. At least not with a man.
lol.
Ps. Not all fiesty women are a turn off 🙂 I can be feisty in a feminine way and men think it’s hot. But not in a hostile feminist manner. I hate feminism and feminists! 🙂
well i enjoyed reading comments from below.. what i believe is there is no rule in love and relationship a smart and successful man can totally fall in love with the fattest woman and wise versa… its difficult to explain with logic what creates attractive between a variety of people. In short i believe men tend to stick with women they feel strong and more masculine with irrespective of their looks & mannerism. Like wise the most rigid, stubborn and tough woman can feel like a true women (vulnerable & soft) with some types of men while feel totally numb with others. Girls keep on trying and you will get your Mr. perfect one day 😀
Solid article!
Thanks!! Looking to make it more complete and comprehensive, so feel free to post additional things that you believe make men lose interest.
this is disgusting, probably written by a loser male
Rebecca, thank you!! I love your comment!!
It is nice to see a woman feel this way about men and their own gender!!
I love this article too!! I don’t know if it was written by a man or a woman, but the article is 100%, no, 10000% true.
The modern American woman is incredibly self absorbed. I would be classified as a “loser” in women speak, because I am interested in video games, hunting, guns, fishing, action figures, etc. I also do not worship the vagina, the main tool women use to control men. Now, I agree that not all women are like that, but, 75-80% of them are. If I found a woman that did not nag me all the time, cared about her appearance, did not care about what others thought about her, accepted me for who I am and did not try to change me and embraced, rather than fought against her femininity, I would have found a rare woman indeed!!
I know for many people, this article and my (and others) commentary on this subject would offend them. That is too bad. We, unfortunately, live in a very self centered society and self conscious society. People care too much what others think of them!!
Thanks a lot for your thoughts, Steven. The article was written be me (male), reflecting on my personal experience and also somewhat summarizing a large number of interviews that I conducted with guys of different ages and personal situations. As you pointed out, this article has offended quite a few women (see comments), but the truth isn’t always fun to here. Even if it provides food for thought to a small percentage of women out there and would make them think about what they can do to become more attractive (or less unattractive), the goal of the article would be accomplished.
Lol these factors make women strong well I’ll like that in a women..I don’t want a toy dude who I can order .I want a women who knows her self worth
Being strong is great, but there are different ways to show strength. There is a subtle, quite confidence and there in-yo-face, I am god’s gift type of attitude.
Thank you for the informative article. Honesty is hard to “hear”. I honestly am not offended by your article at all…what is a turn on or turn off cannot be helped. What turns me off is when a man writes an article and doesnt know the difference between “here” and “hear”.
Hello, Kim. Thanks or your thoughts and that’s exactly what I say. It’s no one’s fault what turns us on and what turns us off so there is no reason to be offended by this article. It’s just food for thought and consideration.
I honestly think that if this list were true, women should really just give up and become lesbians and get pregnant via in-vitro fertilisation because it would be too difficult for them to uphold all of these standards.
A lot of men are overweight, terrible at pleasing their partners sexually, whine about bad past relationships, talk too much about things people find boring – their job, their boring interests – cars, video games, etc – so where’s the article that’s written about that? There isn’t one. Why?
Actually it’s because men these days are incredibly fickle.
When they do get a woman such as this – one who is interested in his interests, spends all her spare time in the gym staying thin, doesn’t talk too much, doesn’t talk about her dating past, puts up with sexist jokes, etc, guess what? Men lose interest in her.
She is trying too hard to please him. He finds that repulsive.
Women – seriously – please, if you have an ounce of self-respect, take my advice – STOP CARING WHAT MEN THINK. Do what YOU want to do – if you want to talk too much, DO IT. If you want to be overweight, DO IT. If you want to text him to see what he’s doing, DO IT. If you want to talk about past relationships, DO IT.
When we start living for OURSELVES, and stop trying to please them, guess what? Men will be forced to endure it. They won’t have a choice. Men need ongoing sex. Men need the adoration of women to feel whole. It’s us who don’t need them. Honestly.
So STOP TRYING SO HARD TO PLEASE THEM.
That’s a terrible advice that I hope no woman takes seriously. None of the tips in the article are unrealistic and no one expects a woman to be a perfection, but we all (men and women) have space for improvement and personal growth, and that’s what this article is about. Refusing to work on yourself and change, and being lazy while hiding behind “I won’t change for anyone” excuse, and blaming men will be as pointless as supposedly not caring what men think.
Seriously, this guy wants a “Stepford wife” or a Japanese geisha maybe.
Ironically that would bore him and he would end up stringing her along for years, never having the guts to break up with her, cheating on her and mistreating her. He doesn’t have the life experience yet to know how love works. Probably very young. Shouldn’t even be giving this kind of advice out.
I wasn’t even going to bother commenting on this article. I have been married for over 30 years. If you ask me a lot of men don’t know what the hell they want…most of the time it’s the woman who initiates the divorce. Men like to complain about their wives….but they want to be taken care of by them….
I seldom, if ever ask my husband for anything …I have a serious back injury and my self esteem is now in the toilet because of it. Surprisingly I am not really overweight, there are women my age who weigh much more than I do. I have a lot of difficulty with exercising enough. Before my back injury I weighed around 122 to 129 lbs @5 ft 4 “. Now I just hit 140 and I feel too heavy. I think the average 50 y.o. weighs over 150 though. So I just am eating less food trying to drop 10 lbs. I never had a weight problem in my life. My husband recently weighed in at 190 lbs and he was told by his dr to lose weight, he has high blood pressure. He doesn’t have a serious back problem though so he can do a lot of walking. I can barely walk very far now, unfortunately ( I used to walk at least 10 miles a week just walking my dog, etc.) I am definitely not boring or ugly. We went to a party recently and people were talking to me plenty.
The guy who wrote this article must be under 30. He’s going to be in for a rude awakening some day. Beauty fades and you develop health issues . Maybe he’s one of those guys who plans on trading in the old wife for a “younger model” like Newt Gingrich did with his first 2 wives…honestly I think some men think of their women like they do their cars or their cell phones. Something to trade up when they get sick of it…
A lot of men think they are studs in bed. Little do they know that it’s all downhill after age 45-50 if they get ED they have to take a viagra pill to get an erection….those blood pressure pills cause ED sometimes.
P.S. if you want a “professional” in bed maybe you should hire a call girl. My husband bought a sex book years ago, it was so absurd I threw it in the garbage. Also those porn movies are fake.
My husband doesn’t know what he wants, he hasn’t grown up yet aND he’s in his 50’s. He later said after the party we recently went to that I was the best looking woman of my age group there.
Yes everything fades in time… And it fades for men too, not just women. I think George Clooney is hideous, for example, and have thought so for the last ten years. I don’t think he has aged gracefully at all. The media seems to disagree with me though. The amount of men in their forties and even fifties I see trying to hit on women in their early twenties and sometimes thirties and getting knocked back because they don’t realise that in fact they have a use-by date also amuses and gratifies me. They seem to live in a fantasy world where they think they are entitled to whatever they want whenever they want it… It just doesn’t work that way. And yes most men are terrible in bed thinking mainly of themselves all the time. And it only gets worse with age.
I totally agree about George Clooney. I posted a longer post but it’s still waiting to be approved.
-lesbian recruiting. If you really care then write an article about it. This isn’t some type of debate or argument. It’s an article on possible reasons why men lose interest in women whether or not you like it or think it’s attainable.
“Men these days are incredibly fickle” I think you’re confusing men with women. Women are incredibly narcissistic
Bitter feminist and closet lesbian, what else is new?
Men don’t have to endure anything. We can get off to the vast amounts of porn out there, or simply buy a hooker. Sexbots are starting to come into their own as well. The artificial womb is already on it’s way. Soon you will be useless, as the only thing your kind was good for was giving birth. Now it can be done with science. Talk about obsolete.
“Men need the adoration of women” Ahaha, yeah, as a mgtow, I abhor your existence, you entitled, self-absorbed, vacuous cunt.
‘When we start living for OURSELVES, and stop trying to please them, guess what? Men will be forced to endure it. They won’t have a choice. Men need ongoing sex. Men need the adoration of women to feel whole. It’s us who don’t need them. Honestly.’
I’m sorry, but we don’t need you either. We have this thing called ‘pornography’ that keeps men’s sexual desires in check. Women are also wired to need more social interaction than men do, and when men socialize, they do it through video games. Men have all their desires fulfilled. A relationship is merely meant to be an enrichment, and if it isn’t, you can simply leave and move on. Both men and women have their desires met, so by all means, use in-vitro fertilisation. I couldn’t care less. If anything, I’m waiting for artificial wombs to put men on an equal footing when it comes to reproduction. Then men and women can truly be free from each other.
Strong independent women are a complete turn off for many of us men since they think their all that which their NOT, especially the very high maintenance ones.
If they’re so independent they don’t need us anyway, so presumably their quite happy going their own way. Leave them to it!
Strong independent women and high maintenance??? Someone is a contradicting loser!
Hey, thanks for being honest! Nice to see a man not worried about offending a woman, and putting it all out there like that, for once. So many men today seem to have lost their ability to masculine, lol. Letting women take charge, because sex and laziness… Blaming others for their problems, instead of taking responsibility for their own life… Letting their masculinity come out in abusive, angry ways. And women, damn. Sensitive, much? What’s with the, I’m not changing for no one? Ok, then change for yourself.
I’ve noticed a rising trend of insecure humans (mostly women) trying to gain self confidence through ‘saying’ they’re confident, instead of working at it. When, if you just worked on yourself and made progress towards creating a better you (physically, mentally, spiritually), confidence would come naturally to you… and you wouldn’t have to proclaim it to everyone around. Dear god, if you have to tell someone you’re confident, you aren’t.
Bunch of lazy people trying to find love without hard work… because we’re perfect just the way we are. Lol.
Anyway, goodness, look at me talking too much… how woman of me, hehe. 😛
Thanks again for this blunt, honest article. Maybe it will help some people wake up. It’s so true, women want to think that men should be attracted to personality overall, or they’re shallow. They forget that men aren’t like us… in many ways. And there’s something beautiful in that balance of different energies… to me, at least.
Thank you for your very wise words, Rebekah. Indeed, no matter what area of life we talk about – results and success don’t come without patience and hard work. Imagine an aspiring athlete say that he is not going to change his diet or exercise routine for anyone… how far would he get with hat mindset.
One major reasons guys don’t have b-lls anymore when dealing with women is because flirting, and perceiving women as romantic/sexual beings has been virtually criminalized. Guys are afraid to make a move or say the wrong word because everyone gets offended so easily.
I really do hope that the article will be a wake-up to at least some people to take a hard look at their approaching to love, dating and gender dynamic. If ten reader get offended and defensive and one takes this advice to heart, that will already be good news.
You’ll be surprised how many women DO agree with you. However, if we dare to voice it out, we’re labelled NAWALT or shamed by feminists.
I disagree that men expect perfection and with the unrealistic patriachal standards rubbish. Nobody is insisting on perfection. They’re asking for effort and why not?
Taking care of ourselves encompasses taking care of our appearance. It’s not a crime making the most of what we have. Looking the best we can brings confidence when we interact with people everyday. When we’re confident, we instinctively treat people with respect and courtesy. We instinctively become more easygoing, accommodating and pleasant. Why wouldn’t anyone naturally be attracted to that?
This is the kind of attitude everybody should have. men and women. You are probably not a westerner.
You’re right; I’m not. Born and raised in Asia, studied and lived in Australia and also resided in the US for some time : )
People not raised in the west have a different outlook on dating and relationships. They are more mature, less shallow and have common sense. and most most importantly……..they aren’t so sensitive. keep up the good work AquariusMoon.
Thanks, that’s kind of you : )
Sensitivity needs balance. On one hand, being sensitive towards others means we can be considerate and less flippant towards people. On the other hand, over-sensitivity causes us to lash out and spoil the fun or be wet blankets.
Having said that, I’ve still had the pleasure of interacting with easygoing and warm-hearted Americans – both male and female. So it’s not all that bad nor hopeless : )
Wow it is no wonder why so many young women have become completely confused and lost about their identity, as well as where they fit in with a predominantly male oriented society. The tone in this entire article is from a obviously biased and sexually repressed male individual who is completely clueless about any type of romantic relationships.
Firstly, you should not just tie in that all men think this way. Even though you don’t obviously state it, you pretty much might as well. You generalize it so nonchalantly that you should have just simply stated “all men think that, blah blah blah…” There are men of many different types of races, cultures, countries, lifestyles backgrounds, family groups, social classes, etc,.. I have in fact dated different types of men with many different types of personalities and opinions and NONE of these reasons are any that you have mentioned is why they lose interest in women. These are the reasons a controlling egotistical immature “boy” might lose interest in a woman but not by the slightest chance why an intelligent, confident, and considerate “man” would.
The guys that do tend to lose interest in the women they are seeing, is 9/10 times when I have witnessed it, is usually because they have some other women that they are talking to in the background. Ergo, they simply get bored and lose interest. Whether it be “the ex”, or just the other three girls who closely resemble Jessica Alba, this is common. Then it’s on to the next one. Almost as if you were to get bored of the Iphone 6 and now you want a Samsung Galaxy 6 instead. And yes, the male friends that I have had will very casually state that they had a difficult time deciding between which woman to date or if they should get back with their ex instead because she conveniently called them up one night even all the while they were dating a new person. I am not saying that its right or wrong, since females fall into this as well, but that’s the society we live in today. People want everything to be exciting and interesting and if it’s not then it’s not worth my time. As I have mentioned earlier it is definitely a sign of immaturity.
In most of your reasons for why guys lose interest in women, is exactly what I am stating, society has somehow brainwashed so many people into treating other individuals as being worth as much as their smartphones. If it’s not slim, has all the latest features, is interesting, can fit in my pocket with the utmost perfection, and can do whatever I want it do, then I don’t want it. People are not built this way. Females to be exact are definitely NOT built this way.
Being overweight is very subjective. There are many people who are overweight in some sense of the term. You make it seem as if the only reason you’ll be able to attract more men is if you are thin and have this amazing Jillian Michaels body running around. So even if you have a not so attractive face, I guess as long as you are a size 00 then you’ll attract many. many men. Yeah most women already are very body conscious. If we don’t have the media spitting the bullshit out to us 24/7, then all you need is a man to tell you whether or not your body is thin enough so he won’t get too bored of you and lose interest.
You talk too much. Being talkative and being dominantly controlling of a conversation are two different things. Being talkative is actually encouraged by most people especially in American society it seems. Unless you are talking about stupid nonsense that has absolutely nothing to do with anything going on or has any relevancy to life, overly talkative or rambling, and talking about shallow and superficial things, then yeah I could see that. Again, most guys that I have dated have even told me they LIKE it when the girl is talkative. In fact they like chattier girls vs a quieter or more shy type of girl. They seem more bothered by a naturally quieter or reserved girl then a talkative or outgoing one. Just as females like a guy who is naturally more talkative or outgoing. This typically wouldn’t even have to do with why a guy would possibly lose interest in a female, this is generally a more attractive feature for both sexes.On the other hand, trying to cut people off while they are talking and not listening to what the other person is saying is a problem with your personality. That is obviously a flaw there. Maybe great when used in debating, but not when you are trying to converse and connect with anyone, regardless of your relationship to that person.
The third point you make is just ridiculously offensive. That is not why women are uptight. That pretty much is a reason as to why most women are so naturally inclined to feminism. That is a demeaning statement and to simply make a rude joke because you assumed she stood you up shows a lot about your personality as well. So instead of just brushing it off, like most people do, you make a sexist joke that women can’t drive. I’ve had my car break down before in many occasions but if someone said “yeah that’s what happens when you put a woman behind a wheel” I would punch them in their face. It’s simply insensitive, rude, derogatory and sexist, I don’t even blame her for getting angry. Any woman I know would have gotten angry at that statement. That wouldn’t be far off from making race jokes or “fat” jokes or making a joke about someone who lived in a trailer park. It’s offensive and shows you have to make fun of other people simply to entertain yourself. But I guess since we are talking about men who grow bored easily, particularly of women in this case, then all of this makes sense.
The rest of the points you’ve made in this article are again all extremely subjective. If you have to play these mind games with any man then he is not worth your time. The type of guy that is not interested you in all these points is a man that obviously hasn’t matured yet. He is after perfection and not your heart. A man that is after your heart is completely different from the type of man mentioned in any of these topics that you have discussed. It’s sad that most men in this society have been motivated and influenced by what these social agents such as what the media has instilled in their minds. Hate to break it you, sex is not like pornography or how you see in the movies and women are not sexual puppets or objects. We aren’t “pets” and aren’t going to come when called, or sit down and shut up when you want us to.
Anyway, this article is very disappointing to say the least, and to think that some women agree with this is the EXACT reason why you have so many relationship issues today. If you take advice from this article then you will have a lot of issues with not only relationships for the future but for staying true to your own personal self values and worth. You shouldn’t have to be altering your personality or your looks for ANYONE and you definitely shouldn’t have to sit back and figure out why did this guy lose interest in me. He obviously wasn’t meant for you, so move on and find a guy that isn’t going to be interested in you for “common” shallow reasons such as these.
Thanks for taking the time to write such a detailed response.
Of course everything I wrote is subjective. I would never claim to speak on behalf of the entire male kind. But the article is based on many personal experiences and way more candid conversations with men whose opinion I count as valuable and useful.
The reason that some women agree with this article is because they are ready to take a look in the mirror and ask questions while facing reality, whether good or bad. Those are the women who don’t hide behind unwarranted assumptions from what they read and defensiveness, because they know that the latter is totally useless.
“male oriented society” Barrrffff
Luy – I appreciate this comment, because ‘overweight’ is subjective when it comes to outside beauty. There are heavier girls who can pull it off, and those who just really need to mind their habits. It’s just a preference, like dating a non-smoker is for many others. Insightful.
Agreed. A number of factors come into play and specifically race and body shape. If extra weight goes to hips/butt, a woman can get way with much more weigh than if it goes to her stomach or upper area, but then again – this is nothing new.
Strong independent Career Women are a real turn off for us men, especially when they think their all that.
Indeed. And not so much because of what they accomplished but of the behavior, demeanor and the energy that often (although not always) comes with it.
You got that right.
It’s “they’re,” not “their.” They think they are all that….”they’re all that.”
I am laughing so hard write now. I can’t believe that this man took the time to write this, then again I took the time to read it. I have to say that yes, for some men it is true. I will not argue with the fact that you need to be attracted however so many women I know that are married and truly loved by wonderful men and those women do have some of these flaws!!! I am 42, yes, I have been told that I am attractive and I am well off with my money. I am single but not because I can’t find someone but because I am selective. My selection is about a man who is kind and truly respectful of women, this article is written by a man who has not those 2 criteria for sure. Lol
This happens for women as much as men. Also, when women feel that their men are not in to them anymore, our minds start to wonder off into thinking about what it would be like to have that perfect man, perfect body, perfect job, enough money and just”someone different” than them who will want us. Its never “looks”, its something WE are missing that THAT man couldn’t give us. Women also dont cheat useless were missing something psychological . wake up guys!
“Women also dont cheat useless were missing something psychological” That’s not a valid reason for cheating. In fact there is no valid reason.
Yikes. Just reading the titles, I can tell it was written by a(n offensive and possibly sexist) man. I can tell this will be a waste of my time, but I feel inclined to do it. And ladies, if you’re reading my comment, PLEASE take this article with a grain of salt. Men, same for you please. This article was based around the expectations of one man who basically wants a woman back from the 60s who will shut up and do whatever her man says. It says nothing about the dating mistakes of men as well.
1. “Guys lose interest in you because you’re overweight.”
One, if they didn’t like how you looked in the first place, why would they approach you? Two, if that’s who they are then no one but themselves need to change that. Three, there are men that generally don’t care about that or find it attractive (I’m overweight (obese) and get more compliments than I need.”
2. “Guys lose interest in you because you talk to much.”
“One of my favorite ways to keep yourself in check…” No. Just no. If a girl is naturally chatty then there is nothing wrong with that. You make it seem like you don’t want her to barely talk through the whole date. But of course you’d find her too shy, quiet, and boring if she didn’t. If she’s telling a story, should she just stop in the middle of the story and say “Wait, my 30 seconds are up, now you talk for two minutes.”
3. “Guys lose interest because you’re too uptight.”
Making a sexist joke, no matter how funny you think it is, is not cool. It’s not about being uptight. If it’s not her sense of humor, don’t try to tell her she needs to change what she finds funny, or laugh at what she finds offensive. It’s not a joke because women have lived through oppression. That’d be the same as making a whip and slavery joke to a black person. You just don’t do it.
4. “Guys lose interest in you because you’re boring.”
“If you don’t have much to say or share…” You literally just told us to not talk more than 30 seconds at a time. If I’m going to say anything interesting I’m going to say it all, not leave out all the details.
5. “Guys lose interest in you because you’re an ultra feminist.”
If you had just talked about the insane women that use feminism as an excuse to hate men.. I wouldn’t have any problem with that, because that is wrong. But instead you mentioned the women should be feminine, with a feminine voice, walk, and manners, and must be feminine to be successful. Some women just aren’t like that- and their success has nothing to do with their femininity, it has to do with their knowledge of the job.
6. “Guys lose interest in your because you’re a victim of your own bad dating past.”
Here you mention that she’s not going to ‘obey’ him and just shows that she can do what she wants. And I just have to wonder, what is wrong with that? She doesn’t have to obey you, and she CAN make her own decisions. And there is nothing wrong with a girl knowing what she wants, it doesn’t make her defiant.
7. “Guys lose interest in you because you are not great in bed.”
The fact that she cared about you enough to let you experience that with her says something. If you want to dump her immediately because the sex wasn’t as great when most likely you got off and she didn’t, then that’s your problem.
“Guys don’t like girls that are too quiet or talk too much during sex…” That’s completely subjective to opinion. Some girls can be getting pleasure and just not be that much of a moaner. Or maybe you’re not doing something right and she really isn’t getting any pleasure- she isn’t going to moan to help your ego (or she might- I’ve done it plenty of times). I’ve also come across plenty of guys that LIKE and actually ask for girls to talk a lot, to talk really dirty or crude or just in general.
8. “Guys lose interest in you because you’re too competitive and “feisty”.
“This is very common with girls who were in an abusive or controlling relationship…” Actually, a lot of girls just have that personality. If a guy is competitive are you going to say he was in an abusive or controlling relationship? No, it’s his nature, just like it’s hers. “She will disagree on the place to eat, go out to, travel to, not because she doesn’t like his idea…” Unless I’m missing out on something, you aren’t a mind reader. If she tells you “I don’t like pizza” or “I don’t really like that place” she could actually be telling the truth. Just because she doesn’t agree automatically to every single decision you make about both of your lives together.. doesn’t make her competitive, or trying to show that you can’t control her. “A strong confident guy will be turned off…” Okay, what if she’s a strong confident woman? She must automatically be an Ultra-feminist, huh? Can’t have that. All girls must be super submissive in order to get a boyfriend. (Sarcasm, if you couldn’t tell.)
“If you pay attention to these, you may become a more attractive and desirable woman.” Believe it or not (you probably wont), a lot of women aren’t trying to attract men, aren’t trying to please you, and aren’t looking for a man.
To sum it all up; You’re saying all guys (mostly you) want a woman that is thin and attractive, doesn’t talk too much but doesn’t talk a lot, laughs at your jokes she doesn’t find funny, or just laughs when you offend her, aren’t feminist and aren’t dominate or stand up for themselves, but is super amazing in bed so you don’t have to learn to do anything yourself, doesn’t have an independent, feisty, or sassy personality, and is super feminine and dainty and has manners like Queen Elizabeth, never farting, burping, using the bathroom while you’re around. Yeah, good like finding that.
Woman have their own personalities. Some may not be compatible with men or other women for that matter, the point is finding someone you are compatible with, not trying to change someone to fit YOUR views. The funny thing is, I (among a lot of other woman) have a lot of these qualities- but that fact that you are trying to change all women to fit your OPINION of how women should be (and saying that’s how all men want it) is ridiculous. Find someone you get along with, not change someone who doesn’t have a personality you like. We are not clones, you do not cut us out of a box and hand us out to every man that wants one.
A lot of the problem can lie within the man as well, not just the woman- so think about that before you try to tell women how they should be to please you when majority just don’t care.
Thanks for your detailed feedback.
1. Point well taken. I guess I should have rephrased it and said that guys don’t develop and interest because of a girl’s weight issues, but they can also lose interest if the girl gains a lot of wait.
2. Natural chattiness can be a huge turn off. It’s draining. Even girls complain about their girlfriends talking too much. True, some men don’t care but many do care. It’s of course not a definitive but a possible turn-off.
3. This is not a call for a change. This is just a fact. Many guys really want to stay away from girls who are uptight and who can’t take a joke. If she is uptight, or doesn’t like certain type of jokes or she is scarred by being oppressed in the past, men should respect that, but that won’t help them get along or like each other.
4. I never said not to talk. Like in many other aspects of life – quality is more important than quantity. Any person can be 10 times as interesting, but saying less and focusing on what they are saying and how they say it.
I could never speak on behalf of all guys. I never said that all men like thin women (I don’t). I never expect a women to laugh when I offend her or try to offend her. These are all assumptions based on something that’s simple not written. The article is food for thought and possible reasons as to why a guy could lose interest or not become interested in the first place. Many of the qualities listed are part of a woman’s personality, but that doesn’t mean that she shouldn’t at least consider working on them. And not just for men but for herself as well, if she wants to attract a certain type of a guy.
I completely agree – we all have different personalities and it takes two to tango in any situation, but there are things that are turn offs that are more universal among men than others, and I wanted to bring them to a reader’s attention. The fact that so many guys confirm and agree with the articles says something about the men’s position on this.
Farting and burping?- absolutely not, if she cares about her guy not losing a hard on.
1. I appreciate your clarification about some guys not liking that their women gain weight (though I think a lot of the women know that and don’t need it said to them, because their self-esteem is probably already lowered by it).
2. For you personally it can be a turn-off and that’s okay, it’s your opinion, but some guys are very quiet and like girls to do all the talking. (I’m kind of quiet and I’ve had quiet boyfriends that keep asking me what I want to talk about.)
3. In someone else’s response they stated that a joke should be funny to both parties, not offensive. This is true. The example joke in your article was very rude. She was probably upset and/or embarrassed that her car broke down and it had nothing to do with her ability to drive, but with your ‘joke’ it sounded like you were making fun of her in a sexist way. Even if you don’t think so, it was offensive.
4. Yes, some people can be interesting and talk less, but for a lot of girls (including myself) when I tell an interesting story (or even say something I find interesting that you might not because of difference of interests), I want to give the details so you understand everything. Yes the story might take 3-5 minutes to tell but it’s a lot better of a story than “There was a person who did a thing, the end.”
You did do a generalization as if you were speaking about all guys to all women. So, might want to be more careful of that in the future. If a woman has a certain personality, no article is going to change that- and she shouldn’t change that to attract you or anyone else.
“The fact that so many guys confirm and agree with the articles says something about the men’s position on this.” Why are there so many women that disagree and get offended by this? Because it’s offensive and wrong. If it’s FOR women, shouldn’t more women be reading and agreeing with it? Sure, almost every man wants a superwoman in their life, so of course a lot of men are going to agree to the article. But that doesn’t help any women, does it? When you get committed to some one you accept their flaws as well as everything that makes them great. If you can’t accept it, move on. Don’t try to change them if they don’t want to change.
I like myself. I like my flaws and I love the things that make me great and attractive. It makes me unique, and sure we wish we could get rid of them at times, but if we could suddenly drop all our flaws with the snap of our fingers and become perfect, we could- but we can’t. That’s why we learn to except them in ourselves and others. And if you can’t except them and you don’t want to/can’t change them.. move on.
Farting and burping was an extreme example but it still stands. “Losing a hard on”? What would he even be hard over? I’m not saying “hey we’re having sex let me fart on your dick”. Look, grow up. I was following your reply and thought we could have a mature conversation, until that very last sentence. Women are human. We have bodily functions. We shit and piss and fart and burp and puke. We scratch awkward places and our breath stinks when we wake up. What do you think happens when you get married? I mean yeah, don’t go burping and farting into a first, second, or even third date (unless it’s an accident and of course it should be ignored)- but it happens. And if you care about that person, you’re going to except it all. Eventually if you’re comfortable enough you’re going to be farting in front of that person. And if you don’t, you’re probably not comfortable with them, and that says something about the relationship.
You make a lot of good points. I just have a couple of things to respond with.
Obviously, I was not and I cannot talk on behalf of every guy, but I want to bring to women’s attention a number of things that could being a turn off to any given guy they are dealing with that are worth thinking about.
Farting and burping are natural bodily functions, but there are things that a man should not see, smell or hear (unless he wants to). Many, if not most, women know that.
A guy is not going to stop loving a woman who he loves because she farted or sneezed, but at the beginning stages of interaction, that kind of stuff certainly doesn’t help.
I absolutely agree – some guys are quiet or have a hard time talking and carrying on a conversation and they would seek out a woman who is more talkative, but again – being too talkative is one POSSIBLE turn off.
It’s great to feel good about yourself, but reluctance to change or even considering changing and improving yourself, as a popular as this mindset is in this country and culture, is one of the biggest obstacles to self-improvement. It’s easy to comfort yourself by saying that people should love you for who you are. It’s harder yet so much more useful to take a hard look at yourself and ask whether there is a thing or two that we can do or change to make ourselves better and more attractive.
lol, i love the way all women tell you how different they are from all the others, but they never are. its what drives man away as a group. you have all convinced yourselves that men will find the same things attractive in women that women do in men. clearly you havent heard that opposites attract. your education, income and all the other horse shit that you have convinced yourself makes you attractive, we dont care about. men just want you to look good naked. if you dont full fill that first criteria and we are not shackled to you through marriage, then most guys are out of there. women are like buses, there is always another one coming along. but women will continue to argue for the next 20 years about what men should like, while we men just get on and date the attractive chics.
Despite these harsh, I believe there is some truth to that.
I don’t think men only care that a woman looks good in bed, they also want her to have a good personality – it surely doesn’t hurt to be nice, warm, yet funny and smart at the same time.
It’s true that a guy who can provide for himself and for his family, if necessary, doesn’t care about a woman’s professional accomplishments. As long as she is doing something she hopefully likes and doesn’t just sit around bored all day (boredom leads to all kinds problem), the rest is secondary. Being attractive and having a good personality is what counts.
“It’s not a joke because women have lived through oppression. ” Oh, it’s that old chestnut again. Give it up love, your flimsy arguments don’t work anymore!
Women lose interest in you because they sit back for a moment listening and watching you and realize what a total jerk you are. They lose interest because your ego is far too huge compared to what positive traits you bring to the table. They lose interest in you because you speak to others like an arse. They understand what passive-aggressive comments are. They realize in bed that you are completely selfish and self absorbed. They notice you’re far more critical of their looks than you ever are of your own. Like there is just some total double standard going. Even if you are quite handsome they begin to see it less and less because women are not as visual. They require more. They find you shallow. Petty. Into things that just do not matter. They get bored and wonder what it would be like to date somebody that actually had an ounce of depth. Start with how you’re just sure you’re so “interesting and ambitious” and you’re the best catch you can think of. You “masculine, confident and attractive” man, you. This cracks me up.
Perhaps if you read with a little more attention, you would have noticed that I do not talk about myself anywhere in the article. I only make observations about what makes guy lose interest based on my personal experience and the responses of many other guys I see in action and talk to.
PH: YOU ROCK!!!
Seconded, from a guy. I nodded my head to every one of these bullets as I read every word and agreed with every word. And of course, this ESPECIALLY applies to guys with options.
Hallafuckinglewwwwya! He and the men he is talking to are very shallow. I lose interest in shallow self absorbed men fast!
I went on 2 dates with a chick who was fat and was disgusted when banging her, watching her stomach swing back and forth in the motion. I left after that and never called her again.
Also there is another women I met, but she could lose just 10 lbs she would be hot. I’m not too interested becuase of that. I got another women who is mint thin, I’m going crazy for her because of that.
And no female thinks you’re much of a catch. I can assure you.
And I’m sure you’re perfect in every way. We’re not worthy, we’re not worthy…
Are you just writing that comment to try to hurt the author? Trust me – we get comments like that from women like you (or perhaps even better than you) all the time. These are the same ones who cling to us and act like crazy stalkers.
Well said, Tyler. When the attack is on the source and not the content, you know that it’s not worth taking to seriously.
As brutally shallow as reading this might sound, this is a common experience for many guys. A gut or some other physical flaw can be a fatal turn-off that a guy simply can’t and doesn’t want to get over.
Definitely not the best choice of words for #1 True. But it’s totally true. There’s nothing wrong with finding someone unattractive, especially if they don’t seem to take care of themselves or simply don’t care about taking care of themselves. People should know it’s not so much we find that person (dare I say it) ugly, but rather, “Why would I spend a significant amount of time/the rest of my life, with someone who i view does not care about their health in a way I find attractive?”
And while that person may be offended by your personal preference, there’s nothing wrong with it. You can’t just be attracted to someone just so you don’t hurt their feelings.
Practicalh I believe it is you who need to address some issues in yourself and your understanding of “the truth”. This “truth” you are talking about is only so for a very few like minded men who have a limited grasp of “attractiveness”. It smacks of a mind that has been corrupted by media images, porn and superficial thinking. I know many quality men who would consider these views a reflection of lack of character and moral fibre. Time for you to address the mirror. To promote these views is damaging to relationships and very sad for any woman/girl who should believe you.
Another man here – it’s true for me, and I’ve got tons of guys who would be happy to sign a petition agreeing to all of the above stated interest-killers. Stop going for personal attacks by bringing up pornography and own that this post just hits you personally because you’re guilty of having lost men to one or all of these problems.
So why not go to the why women lose interest section?
I have to completely agree with the third reason. Damn but talking to these types of women is like treading on eggshells. These are the worst.
So be thin, don’t talk much, don’t be a feminist, be hot in the sack. OK, well when I am looking for a super superficial guy, this advice will be awesome
Similar illogical responses that assume way more than was ever written or intended to be written in the article have been addressed below.
Excuse me, but how is expecting a woman to take care of herself “superficial”? Why do any of these traits exclude her from also being intelligent, or owning a sparkling and crisp personality?
You should try a helping of your own advice, son.
YES! This guy has a serious problem. There’s something wrong in his head. He projects his faults – his inability to communicate except at a snail’s pace, his tendency to tell offensive and sarcastic ill-timed jokes – as the shortcomings of “women” as a general population. It’s sad, really.
But what you don’t realize is what porn is teaching you……..that everything is about you! Remember how you said “don’t be so sensitive?” That’s exactly what an abusive man says to his mate when she objects to his insults! I’m not saying you are abusive, but that porn insinuates that the you don’t need to worry about your partners feelings!
Let’s look at all your points in general:
She shouldn’t be overweight
She shouldn’t talk too much
She shouldn’t be too uptight
She shouldn’t be boring
She shouldn’t be an ultra feminist
She shouldn’t be a victim of her past
She shouldn’t be mediocre in bed
She shouldn’t be too feisty.
I understand the point that no one wants to be with an unhappy demanding girl, who’s no fun, but so far it appears I’m talking a “player” who’s only interested in getting what he wants from a relationship! “Do and be everything I want” which is the general theme of porn (you should be able to have whatever you want, whenever you want, with whomever you want, regardless of how that person feels!)
As a wise person always used to tell me, you don’t go to a restaurant and say “I don’t want a salad. I don’t want beans. I don’t want bananas……”. So my question to you is what qualities other than femininity do men value? What makes the girl from a one night stand different than one he’d bring home to meet his parents? What is it he really wants from a relationship? Frankly women aren’t interested in being a guy’s servant or mother! We want someone that loves us, someone who we can share our feelings, hopes, and dreams with. Someone who wants to create a wonderful life together doing things we both enjoy. Someone who will help us take care of the family, finances, and house. You get the point, but basically women are all about togetherness and love. Do you see how everything you described seems like an ad for a caretaker?
Emily, again – there is no mention of being a servant in the article or doing something that would please the guy on the account of making yourself suffer. There are simple, practical suggestions on how to become more attractive or at least less unattractive to men. A read can take some or all of the the suggestion. And there are plenty of articles on here about what a woman should do in order to become attractive along with which mistakes should be avoided: https://www.practicalhappiness.com/category/dating-advice-for-women/attracting-men/
Emily – rage all you want. These are vetted true, any guy worth his salt will tell you, guys can lose interest in you. And that easily overpowers the dangling carrot lure of sex.
Also, if you’re threatened by any of this, it’s because it exposes that some men are too smart to fall for tricks that women design in order to be selfish lovers themselves . . .
Hey Emily like Tyler said, this is for the guys who are worthy having. there are average chumps for all y’all out there. there are always cheap quality products for the less privileged you know. not all is lost baby. not all.
It seems to me, that you Mr. Practical H. are describing you ideal partner. After reading many of your articles I’ve noticed that they all follow a distinct pattern. Please don’t take offense in my comment as it is just a mere observation. So are you saying that a girl has to be 90- 60-90 in order to be appealing to men? Where does personality, intelligence and other characteristics fall in the equation?
A woman who is great in bed:
Of course that would be awesome, nonetheless awesomeness comes with practice and practice in this case is being penalized; as a woman cannot sleep with many men. I may sound like some crazy feminist but I’m actually quite far from it. I do agree that a woman shouldn’t have many partners because as my grandma puts it, it’s like gum; the more it’s chewed the less flavor it has. I for example can’t say I’m quite experienced in bed so this just makes me more self-conscious each time I’m being intimate with someone for the first time. I don’t consider myself dull but I definitely won’t pull out the fishnet stockings stilettos and whip the first time with any guy. I mean it’s already awkward as it is. Yet you are more or less implying I’ll be graded on my debut with any particular guy and if it’s not good enough chances are I won’t hear from him again. So how do you suggest I go about it? If I practice too much I’ll be a whore and if I don’t practice I won’t get a call back.
 Lights:
This is a little conflicting also. Either way works for me I suppose it depends on the situation. What I found confusing was that you mentioned in other articles that you personally have had the lights off if you are not that attracted to the girl you are with. So we obviously go back and think of all the times the guy has requested the lights to be off. I’ve been asked to leave the hall way or bathroom light on. So now I can’t help but to wonder if he was just not attracted to me. I just thought the light bothered his eyes. If he is not that attracted then why would he continue to see you?
Smells/ Tastes:
Most women are already self-conscious about their smell and taste, and yes we can keep it clean, eat less meat and drink insane amounts of pineapple juice but let’s face it, you will never find a parfait down there. What about men, what do you guys do to keep your package fresh? You guys can complain all you want about us but don’t tell me you’ve never received oral after being at work all day with desperate need of a shower.
I do believe that most women know what it is they need to change about themselves (or at least have an idea) I know I do, and I have been working on it for a while and I can tell you I’ve made much improvement. However, it is interesting to see it written here as it reinforces what we already know men expect. Which again brings me back to the beginning. Everything sums up what your ideal woman should be (or most men’s). Now my question is have you Mr. Practical H, found this woman because it doesn’t seem you will settle for less and advice men on the same. If this perfect woman is not found, does that mean you and other men will just lose hope? I gather your articles are written based on research and experience. I don’t assume you have a PHD in the psychology and behavior of single men and women from Harvard’s school of amorous relationships and sexual shenanigans. Nonetheless I have enjoyed your articles quite a lot for different reasons, you are in fact a good writer and you do have a nice way with words. I
Dear Elle,
First, thank you for your kind words. You are correct, I do not have any formal qualifications to discuss relationship and gender issues. There are plenty of top school grads out there in the “business” but what good does mainstream dating advice usually do – from my amateur observation – not much. And of course I didn’t bother to conduct any significant scientific studies. My research usually includes a combination of my personal experience and asking around anywhere between 20 and 50 people from different backgrounds and walks of life, who I can rely to be open and honest on their opionions and experiences.
You have a point. As objective as I try to be, I can’t help but rely to my own experiences among others. At the same time, you should note that we guys are not that different from each other, well not as much as women are. Our taste of course varies, but overall “hot” is “hot” and “not” it is “not” when it comes to a woman’s looks at least.
To your question about lights- I am sure that just as often guys want lights off because they don’t like their own body or they are too shy or too embarrassed to be naked in front of another person even if they don’t have a problem with how their body looks. So, I wouldn’t automatically assume that a guy has a problem with your body just because he insists on light to be off.
About whether I found this perfect woman – I make it a point to keep my personal life out of my advice, but I will say that I met a number of such “perfect” women. Their looks were about 8-8.5 but their personality was great, which made them a 12 in my book and I will take that over a perfect 10 in looks with a 7 personality any day.
What do we guys do to keep our package fresh? – the article is not about men but it’s about and for women. What one guy does or does not do should not affect a woman’s behavior, at least not in the hygiene department.
Thanks.
Mr. PH, Thank you for your response. I wasn’t expecting one, let alone one so quickly. I do not think you need an advaced degree to discuss such topics. I was making a joke. I do believe that experience can be a reliable source. But at the same time it can generalize the outcome as you are only sampling a specific population (mostly based on location) therefore the result can be altered as all those women’s behavior can be affected by similar environmental factors.
You are rights in regards to my comment about men’s package. It was more of a defensive response after reading the same thing over and over in regards to our smell and taste.
Thank you for the clarification on the lights issue. I never thought about it in that sense.
Now the question that still remains unanswered, which was probably the answer I was expecting the most is the one about sex. Because if I am in fact having sex w a guy is becuase I obviously expect it more than once. I don’t believe one night stands can be helpful in any way. So how can we as women make sex that much better for men (besides the no talking rule)?
Thanks
Hello, Elle. You are welcome and my pleasure. I try to keep this blog active and alive by being responsive, just an FYI. I like how well you can handle a healthy debate. Considering how much intolerance there is in the Youtube comments, and elsewhere, comments such as yours are much appreciated.
To your question, of course there is no guarantee that a guy will come back for more sex, like there are no guarantees in any other aspects of dating & love. But there are ways to improve the chances of a guy coming back by being a better sex partner. I think the recent guest article is very relevant. Please read and follow up if you have any comments and thoughts:
https://www.practicalhappiness.com/how-to-lose-a-guy-in-ten-days-be-being-mediocre-sex-partner/
Wow! That was my reaction after reading this!
I was more shocked to read the comments, since some girls actually believed in this after reading it! :O
No disrespect to the author, everyone is entitled to their own views. But it is not really cool to generalize to such an extent. When you speak, you are speaking for all the guys out there, given your authoritative tone, aren’t you? But do you think it’s fair to plant such an idea in the minds of insecure girls out there? Especially, given the fact that a lot of men will beg to differ from your views.
Needless to say, I have met a lot of men who are happy in relationships where their girls exhibit one or more of the traits that you hold as major “turn-offs”. A lot of guys actually like talkative women, while others might hate. Same goes for body weight; some find soft and curvy women more attractive than toned ones. What you have to realize is that all these are nothing but “preferences” and do not contribute to the attraction meter in a relationship. You can be the most beautiful, interesting and composed woman out there, but all these traits will only help you win a talent contest.
Truthfully speaking, I think men lose interest if
a) they weren’t looking for anything serious in the first place and the woman gets all serious>>>conflict of interest
OR
b) they were open to the possibility of forever, but the woman stops growing as an individual.
Just a message to all you girls out there. No matter what, it is VERY important to love yourself first, only then can you contribute further to the relationship. How can you expect someone to continue loving you if you don’t love yourself? Insecurities are justifiable. But don’t let them become your monsters and eat up your happiness.
All the best. <3
Real men always look beyond all the Instagram filters that you hide behind and fall for the real you.
Thanks for your thoughts. First, please note that nowhere does it say that I speak on behalf of all the men out there. But since we are on that topic, we, guys, are not all that different about what turns us off. The article is not meant to demoralize or insult, but it’s meant as a food for thought on how many girls can improve themselves and make themselves more attractive. In this don’t-judge-don’t-tell-me-what-to-do culture, this kind of constructive feedback is often taken as an insult, but it really isn’t meant to be.
Loving yourself is an easy solution but just like you need to earn others’ love, having reasons to love yourself will surely help.
Yet again, first three sentences – a woman telling men what does or does not make them lose interest. Fascinating!
I put in why am I no longer attracted to men and all that came up was articles why men are no longer attracted to women. I see men are so perfect. Yes I do agree for both sexes to stay in some decent shape however I see many people in relationships that are not perfect. Fact is a relationship is susposed to be about two people who care for each other because they love the person. This crap about all he superficial things really just tells me what I already know you wwant superwoman. She has a great job pays all her own bills takes care of her children by herself then makes time to be so hot for you and also works out everyday for five hours so she caan look like a Victorias secret model for you and for what?
I am really tired of this crap for cheap dates to be told to not invest when someone is harassing you evry date for sex but just keep holding off then your a frigid bitch no wonder he lost interest can a woman win?
PracticalH,
I hope you understand that what you told Willow was that somehow she had flaws / inadequacies that 'make guys lose interest in her'. That is just not true.
Men don't break up with women because of the woman, but because of ourselves. We sometimes get involved with a woman we know isn't right because of lust. We look past the things we don't like because we are getting satisfaction. After the sex cools off, the issues remain.
We dump women because we feel we have something better, by whatever standards we have. Fun, sex, money, religion, you name it.
We dump women out of spite because we were hurt and somehow feel it could give a sense of justice. Just out of a guy being a prick.
Women aren't dumped because of who they are, but because of what is going on inside the guy.
Willow sounds like she might have not found the guy that is ready for a stable relationship, has the right interests to find her fascinating, and has the good will to put himself aside for her when there is need to accommodate her. But that guys is out there.
Becoming insecure of who she is, developing a paranoia of her 'flaws', which she may or may not have, will not help her find the right relationship. On the contrary, instead of spending her attention connecting and sharing she will withdraw in her mind questioning herself and damaging the relationship. Insecurity cripples a relationship, not because it is a turn off between men and women, but because it cripples everything a person does.
Willow, if you read this. There is nothing wrong with you. As a matter of fact, it could be that the guy who broke up with you finds out later that you were his best relationship, and in the same way in which he moved on to greener pastures now, he may want to move back to your greener pastures, and you may be in a different situation then and not want him back. It happens all the time.
Best of luck to you both.
Dear TrueBlood,
Thank you for your thoughts and additional ideas about the potential turn-offs or reasons that guys lose interest.
My comment in no way intended to make Willow paranoid, and that would be assuming too much. All I wanted to say was that just because a woman is tall, slender and beautiful, doesn't mean that she doesn't have other bad qualities that can be a turn on. This was said not in order to cause paranoia but in order to simple consider reflecting on the possible traits that can and should be worked on.
I agree that reflecting on the traits that could be improved is important.
Perhaps the single most important aspect within each of the partners is having good faith at heart. It may sound cliche, but it is absolutely true.
Staying in shape for the enjoyment of your partner is something that shows good faith, and it works both ways in the man for the woman too.
Judging your partner is not a cool thing to do, whether it comes from a past experience with a previous partner, or a feminist background or what you learned at home, it makes no difference. Simply stated measuring someone else and demanding they conform with expectations is not having good faith towards them.
Being boring and talking too much are the same problem. If a woman has a like mind, and a perspective we find stimulating, they are not boring and will not be boring even if we spoke until the early hours in the morning. Time will fly, and it is an awesome thing. But that is dependent on what the guy finds interesting, and the match with the woman. A woman can't change that or much less fix it, because there is nothing broken.
Being competitive is a turn off only for those who carry a chip on their shoulder which again is not good faith towards a partner to want them to limit their potential. Good faith is the opposite. Wanting them to feel good and succeed.
And being good in bed is something that comes together with a heart for the partner, a desire for improvement, and a little practice.
Also, since this is all about opinions and nobody owns the absolute truth, I must add that I would not ever recommend porn for couples. Like I said, it is all about good faith, and lusting over another woman isn't having good faith to a partner.
It seems the article was written from the perspective that the unmet expectations in a relationship, are caused purely by external factors, but that is simply not the case.
As for myself, the 'bitchy', competitive, feminist woman… That is the profile of my best female friends. The ones I could have a great relationship with. I can take the push back without taking offense, don't feel threatened by their progress, as a matter of fact, I find their need for growth and progress stimulating, and the feminist subject is no problem with me.
A woman expecting respect for women is how it should be. If they disrespect me in the process of demanding their respect, then they failed at the same valid point they were defending and are out of line. But assuming the feminism is done with respect, I would even say that I agree with feminists.
What I cannot stand is the underhanded negativity that festers in secret. The false faces hiding discontent. The lies and pretenses. The woman who would pretend to be submissive, or limit their talking while festering inside feeling that it is wrong.
And of course, 'bitchy' women they tell you everything that is going on in their heart to your face, whether you want to hear it or not. That is what makes them 'bitchy'. And I find the truthfulness in the approach to be very cool in a woman. Assuming it is not a double standard, and they accept truth when it is spoken back, being bitchy is a quality I truly enjoy. And I disagree that being a bitch and being a lady are mutually exclusive. I would say that if you looked throughout history probably most of the women who have had power and a position in society (ladies) had the expectation that they could speak their heart even when the person listening might not like it. They just would not cause a public scene in the process.
My point in the bitchy, feminist type is that different men like different things.
One man may find that a woman with uninteresting thoughts (from the man's perspective) is ok to have a relationship with as long as she is hot, good in bed, stays submissive and keeps her mouth shut…
For me, the ideal woman is one with whom there is a deep feeling of connection, that has a good heart, is truthful, is interested in working on the relationship in good faith, likes philosophy, culture, food, travel, and is fun to share and hang out with. If she's hot, that is a big plus 😉
Although I disagree with much of the intent, I think the article is useful in the sense that it brings out subjects of conversation that are important to address in a couple. Sex, feminism/causes, life experiences/difficulties growing up, and other things that could turn into points of contention, and in addressing them they can be resolved (again in good faith), and become opportunities for deeper bonding. It is also an awesome article in the sense that it stimulates a lot of interaction. It struck a nerve, and that is something few articles do. Pretty powerful writing. Congratulations.
Thanks. 😉 You covered a lot of ground in your comment which might inspire me to write quite a few article on the topic in the nearest future or make a video or two about this.
Its not that we don't want to hear the "truth" its the simple fact that if we don't do exactly the right thing at the right time–every time, you guys will lose interest?? Now who's being harsh? Honestly this is unfortunately the very reason why our world is falling apart now days. This is how guys FEEL women should be–perfect at ALL times. You guys sure as hell aren't so why expect something from us that you guys are unable to provide us with?? I would gladly take a faithful, honest, hard-working, family-1st, funny, intelligent, romantic, sexy & ripped as an underwear model, who provides me with an unlimited allowance to buy our family everything & anything we want or need but I sure as hell don't see that guy anywhere so don't expect the same in return from me. I'll stay home with the kids & clean the damn house in stilettos if you can give me everything I want & still come home & make me cum till I beg you to stop.
Saying that you need to lose weight is mean. There's loads of guys who date who are out of shape too. No wonder there are girls and women with so many hang ups. There is a gauge to how you are going look naked, when you wear clothes, he has an idea what dress size you are.
Some guys like curves not bones. Some skinny girls don't even have pretty faces. Who wants an ugly skinny girl?!
I have experienced a guy who rejected me sexually, when he was the one first initiated trying to get me into bed, then he went cold and lost interest. All I got was excuses why he couldn't see me. It certainly wasn't because I 'don't know what I'm doing' in the bedroom. I have a high sex drive, like to dress up, I can squirt and give amazing deep throat. He said he was attracted to me and I had the personality to match. not many girls do. He would sit there in my company with an erection, so I know it's not that!
I believe it was because he already had a girlfriend and was dating others. So he was too knackered to have sex with all of us!
He was a player, he had no intention of anything progressing, didn't matter how great I was or how nice. Ladies need to be in tune to this. Sex doesn't equal a relationship.
The bottom line then, lose weight and watch some porn you will find the man of your dreams! I don't think so.
Saying that you need to lose weight is not mean if done the right way. The fact that there are many guys out there who are out of shape is irrelevant and doesn't mean that you shouldn't take care of yourself. The article doesn't refer curvy women. Most guys like women with some curves. It takes about the women who are clearly overweight. It's easy to reject useful advice and dismiss it. Following it is much harder and that's why most people who are overweight don't lose weight. They don't want to experience the discomfort associating with recognizing that they have a problem than needs to be addressed.
Viv, you don't Have to be this way. You can be as bossy and powerful as you want – it's just that you will not attract a Masculine and powerful man. There needs to be some balance and polarity in a relationship to garner attraction. It is not meek to be feminine, there is a lot of power and beauty in the feminine. Women can love like men cannot – that is very feminine and there's nothing wrong with it. just because you can act like a man's powerful buddy, doesn't mean that you should expect a man to be attracted to it like he would to his polar opposite.
wow, this list is RIGHT ON. Too bad I can't just hand it out to every girl I date (or "try" to date I should say). Another one to add, is THINKING YOU KNOW TOO MUCH/GIVING A MAN ADVICE/TRYING TO BE A MOTHER INSTEAD OF A GF. I've been turned off beyond repair from very hot girls who think they know what's best for me – and early on! Giving me a career opinion is so unfeminine, Best Case: it's great advice and you've relegated yourself to being my buddy. Either way, powerful men are not going to be attracted to girls that don't respect them.
@gopez Thanks for your thoughts. You are bringing up an important issue. I think it really depends on the advice. It's important to be able to share with each other feedback, advice and constructive criticism. On the other hand, it's important not to go overboard, hit below the belt or simply insult instead of helping.
One of the problems in our society is that we seem to be getting defensive way to quickly when hear any kind of negative feedback in our direction, instead of listening to its content and asking ourselves whether there is point to that criticism.
You can point out things that can be improved while respecting the other person, as long as it's done in a respectful manner, and the two do not have to be mutually exclusive.