After you read advice on writing a great online dating profile to attract women you should be ready to apply this advice and write your own great dating profile. I am a big fan of learning what’s a good through making a contrast between good and bad.
So, lets look at a few typical examples of bad profiles:
“I am not good at writing about myself, but my friends say that I am intelligent, professional, educated and ambitious. I like sports and good wine. I am looking to a meet an intelligent, beautiful woman for dating and relationship.” – at first, this looks like a well-written profile by a guy who seems to have head on his shoulders. However, it has one major flaw that will make many women skip over it. It’s way too typical and generic. It looks just like a thousand of other profiles. There is nothing “catchy” about this profile – there is nothing that would compel a reader to stop and respond to it.
Lets look at another bad profile:
“I went to school in the east coast, but now I work for a major software company where I work up the corporate ladder. I very busy. I love hiking, watching baseball, and bbq on weekends.” – the writer must be reminded that this is a dating profile – not a resume or a sales presentation in front of his human resources department. Again, this profile has a very weak beginning…. as a rule, you should never start your profile by talking about school or work, as it’s not interesting and not really relevant to what you should be trying to achieve – to catch a woman’s attention.”
“I love to have fun, party, dance, and drink of my buddies. If you wanna hang out sometimes, holler at me…” – unless you are in a fraternity, you should never come across as someone who has nothing else to him but getting drunk and leading a lifestyle devoid of any real goals or ambition.
Now, lets look at an example of a profile that will stand out through both the way they are written and their content. Some women will think of the writer of the profiles below as weird, but… ideally you shouldn’t be interested in “most” women anyway, but you should be targeting those women with your profile that you believe you will get along and will have a connection – whether you are looking for a short-term dating, a lifetime partnership or anything in between:
I would hate to bore you by telling you how wonderful I am by attaching to my name a bunch of flattering adjectives. I am sure that you have already found this about two hundred times in all the other profiles. I believe that words are cheap, but actions speak much louder, so why bother? So, why not start with a bad stuff – I am impulsive and restless at times, I can’t kill a fly, I cried twice like a girl when I watched “Notebook,” I cuss too often, and stay up way too late way too often. There is something about the nighttime that I find magic, if you will, which keeps me up working or hanging out aimlessly. Can you relate? I have little patience for flakes and fake people – those who smile while being angry on the inside, as I never know what they keep up their sleeve. How about you? What annoyed you today? And what made you weak in your knees from joy and pleasure?
You are curious about the world around you. You can take a joke and are not easily offended. You believe that sarcasm is a spice of life. You can spell, and are generally happy. The rest is negotiable.
I don’t think it matters what we do on a first date, and I am a big fan of simplicity, so a coffee and walk would be just fine.”
This is just one example of a profile that will stand out as different and arguable better than most other pages written by guys on the online dating sites. It has a strong, unique beginning, interesting content, and a few questions at the end to “help” a woman start her response.
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Profiles do not attract woman, its your looks or how much money you have. No fancy profile is going to get you a date. What are the first things you look at when you join a dating site? Photos! If a woman doesn’t find you attractive, they won’t make it past the photo
That’s only partially true. Photos are a good start but they can only get you so far, especially if you are dealing with a woman who is looking for substance and real connection. Also, most men fall into the category of average + looks, i.e. the type of category where what you write can make you more or less interesting and attractive. What we, men, look at only tells part of the story about women. After all, let us not forget that we are different creatures and we operate differently.
Incorrect. If you have an attractive photo and no bio. It’s a no from me.
I believe it’s a no for many men and women. When there is no bio, it suggests low effort or no effort, or even a fake profile.
I’ve seen this profile on dating sites copied word for word so many times. I recommend not using it as it is so easily recognisable because of how it’s filled with stupid things no normal guy would ever actually say. Any girl who goes hang on I’ve heard this before, and googles it will discover that you have so little personality that you had to copy a profile word for word.
Just describe who you actually are, honestly. Use your own personality!
Your expert opinion, please. Clever or tacky? I currently have this on my online dating profile: ” Several women have told me that my smile makes me look warm. But if you happen to think I look hot, don’t hesitate to tell me so. lol “
This is highly subjective, of course, but to me it sounds way too simplistic, especially if the “lol” is in the end. I can’t imagine how it would add true humor, edge and personality to a profile.
OK. Thanks for the quick reply!!
How do you feel about, in an online dating profile, showing examples of romantic things that you’ve done for women in the past? I’ve done that because I would think that that would make a really good impression on the women that read my profile.
Here’s an example:
” Most romantic thing I’ve done for a woman?
Hmmmmm. Either singing acapella to my gf at the time over a candlelit dinner on Valentine’s Day, or mailing to a woman I’d been dating a CD that contained a video
of myself singing ” Happy Birthday ” to the camera when I wasn’t there to sing it to
her in person. ”
Wouldn’t you agree that most women would be very impressed by those things?
Hi, Alan. Good question. I don’t think it’s a great idea for at least two reasons: first, it remove the mystery from who you are and what you really like to do; secondly, you wouldn’t be able to use the same romantic things on the women you meet. No girl wants to be run through a “routine” that has been used before. I would actually recommend being evasive when answering that questions and saying something like: “The most romantic thing I ever did is surprising the woman and not telling her what we will be doing or where we are going.”
Decided to google it for shits and giggles. Holy shit, that woman’s right! This fucking profile is all over the net! They don’t even bother to correct the typos (what exactly is “a bad stuff”?) Pathetic if you ask me.
Yes, plagiarism is the unfortunate downside of posting this kind of stuff online. I wanted it to be a food for thought and an inspiration, but there are too many people out there who are way too lazy to put a little more effort and a little more of their own creativity into their online dating profile.
your reply is hilarious: I will pyscho-analyse each and every word to see his inner persona, as I am more informed than he is to his own personality. It is my objective to deconstruct such pathetic prose by those even thinking I would afford them a date. Haha!
GRRRRRR! I've just searched a dating site using the word 'louder' and you know HOW many people have used this exact same copy?! Over 34 I counted. Starting to think the whole site is a scam. I really doubt that many people are using the same copy. Very pissed off at the moment. What a joke.
That is a good example, but in my experience of online dating, depending how old you are and unless you are seriously unattractive and overweight, sometimes less on a profile can be more? If you need to write a humourous poelm to sell yourself couldn't this be a turn off for women? Doesn't this look needy or desperate? Sometimes one or two short brief careless sentences can give off the idea that you don't online date much and do not really care either way. Some women might be attracted to this.
Good advice and to enhance your profile why not add your own video. A video “presentation” of you will really make your profile stand out and show your true colours. This can be done simply and easily on sites such as attracion(dot)com.
OMG I HAVE TOO!!!! At LEAST 2, I actually just googled the opening of their bio because it sounded so familiar…and lo and behold! Here it is!
I found this example very good, but it is only one example. How about some more original examples? I find that most people, including women, have trouble composing a good profile. So do I! We need all the help we can get, because the competition on dating websites is ferocious!!! I am somewhat older, so is there any way to get around this obviously limiting factor? I really would appreciate a reply on my email website. Thank you in advance, Floyd
@ Floyd Webber. Thank you. We are actually working on a short e-book now that will be a collection of 15 or so great profiles written by women. It will be published soon. Please be sure to follow us on twitter at practicalh to be notified when the e-book becomes available.
Hello, Floyd. I realize that this reply comes years later as somehow I didn’t see your comment till now, but here are my few tips:
* make sure that your photos are recent. There is no reason to try to hide something that will be revealed two second after you meet;
* make the most out of your looks – if you are older, be a sharper dresser. This doesn’t mean that you should be waring suits in your photos, but business casual is appropriate for you and jeans/t-shirt might not look all that flattering.
* Make sure that the age range of the girls that you are looking for matches your age somewhat. If you are 55, for instance, make sure that you are willing to date women up to 45 or even older. Although many of them look undataeable for obvious physical reasons, some are in a good shape and might surprise you with their youthfulness and in more than one way.
The above tips should be a good start.
“* Make sure that the age range of the girls that you are looking for matches your age somewhat”.
SOMEWHAT?? You DO realize a 55 y.o. looking for someone under 40 comes across as creepy, right?
“If you are 55, for instance, make sure that you are willing to date women up to 45 or even older”.
UP TO 45 OR EVEN OLDER? You are talking about a 55 y.o. that probably is in bed by 9 and needs viagra- smh
“Although many of them look undataeable for obvious physical reasons, ”
And the 55 y.o. man is supposed to be attractive to us?! LOL!
“some are in a good shape and might surprise you with their youthfulness and in more than one way”.
Wow. One of THE most sexist statements ever.
Nothing sexist; just in line with male nature and preferences. Your view of the article and my tips is impaired by the assumption that you made yourself about the article. Not single much, but in happy, wonderful relationship… sorry to disappoint.
The only thing I would add to my previous tips is that it makes a huge difference whether that 55 year old guy himself is in good shape and attractive or not. If he is in fact in good shape , then he surely wouldn’t want to date anyone his age, but would much rather be with a woman in her 40’s or even younger, if he can. And whether a 55 year old woman is attractive to you specifically is besides the point.
Okay, I've come across TWO.. yes TWO dating profiles so far that have the EXACT SAME.. I mean literally.. WORD FOR WORD as the one that starts off with "I would hate to bore you by telling you how wonderful I am by attaching to my name a bunch of flattering adjectives. " When I saw the first profile I thought it was neat, and creative.. Then I saw the second profile, and figured something was fishy.. So I googled the first two lines and it brought me here.
Total downer that people are actually just coping and pasting someone else's work. It may have been better if they altered it in their own words.
Needless to say, I'm no longer speaking with either guy. First one had made a really good impression too.. Sad that he wasn't very original.
@something Thanks for bringing this to my attention. I can't help but feel that this is my fault. I never meant for the posted profiles to be something for people to plagiarize. I only wanted it to be an example and an inspiration for guys (and women) to think and write outside the box, so to speak. On the other note, perhaps that alone shouldn't be the reason to stop talking to someone you otherwise like and find interesting and attractive and other factors should come into consideration. That's of course highly personal and subjective.
Good example. I’ve been playing around with different profiles and can never seem to get myself across to women correctly. Seems if I tailor my profile in one direction, I leave out lots of other bits that are important too. I guess there’s no perfect way to get a profile and the best we can do is get others to enjoy the read. I know hen reading women profiles that it’s like paper work at the office, sifting through the same stuff over an over. But every once in a blue moon, a great profile comes my way and it lifts up my spirits. Even if I’m not interested, I still feel compelled to tells them good job.
I would like to know what types of photos to post. However, I get the sense that no matter how good my profile description is or how clever it is, my physical shape will always turn women away. I’m currently in the process of losing weight and have lost 50lbs already, but even letting girls know I’m working on it, I get no replies. I always initiate the first message and I try to be original with each girl. So another thing I’d like to know is what should a first message look like? I know I’m not gonna get women clicking on my profile simply because they are seeking physical attraction. I even had some girls tell me I sound like a great guy, but they’re either interested in someoe else or I just don’t meet the physical requirements. I guess there’s no way around this, but I feel like I just can’t get past this wall in the dating world. I’ve heard you need to be rejected like 100 times before landing a girl, but it feels like 1000 in my case. I go out of my way to initiate conversations, compose clever profiles, and still those damn photos are holding me back. I’ll take any advice I can get, but in the meantime ill work on getting into great shape. My only problem with this is that if I’m meeting girls because I suddenly become attractive, am I attracting the woman I want in my life?
What about a guy who posts a profile just exactly like another guy on another site? I mean word for word. Flown his own plane over Africa, partied with the president at the Kennedy center…etc. Is there someplace men can get profiles? And what about this same guy getting mad because you call him on it?
However, I do believe in healthy habits, exercise, great diet, all that stuff.
Great comment soosoo. So many people feel ashamed by their age, and if it wasn't for their age, they wouldn't be the wiser, wittier, funnier people they/we are today.
These are priceless qualities that some take for granted.
I think it's all about profit from companies. Making money on people's insecurities, throwing commercials in our faces constantly telling us we need to buy this and that to look younger, but in the process they're creating insecurities in people.
I can't tell you how many times I have read a guy's profile and literally cringed at how it was written. It doesn't matter how good looking you may think you are, what you say and how you say it has a lot to do with how you are perceived. What you didn't mention, at least in this article, are the types of pictures that should–and shouldn't–be posted. Maybe it's just me, but I can't stand shirtless "mirror" shots. Is that all you've got to offer? If you're just looking for a hookup, I guess it's perfect. Even worse, the shots of a guy taking his own picture in the mirror with his camera or phone, like he's so insecure he can't admit to anyone he needs help getting a good picture of himself. I am not a "10" by any stretch, but I think photos I've posted say a lot about my personality, interests, and sense of humor, and that is what the guys I'm looking for really care about anyway.
Indeed. A guy who writes an interesting profile and puts up decent "business" photos will have little competition, because there aren't all that many guys online who seem to be "normal" or at least come across as such.
My nervous system frizzes whenever I read a woman claiming others always tell her she looks like she's 30 (if she is 50, for example).
VERY FEW PEOPLE look years younger than their actual age. Almost everyone looks their age and this is a beautiful thing. If you are 50, what is wrong with looking 50? I have yet to meet a woman who is 45 or 50 and looks like a 30 year old. That would be weird anyway. I luv and have luved every one of my ages. Some days I may look a bit younger than I am and some days I may look and feel like I'm 180. LOL! 🙂
Hello, Soosoo. Love your comment. "Almost everyone looks their age and this is a beautiful thing. If you are 50, what is wrong with looking 50? I have yet to meet a woman who is 45 or 50 and looks like a 30 year old. That would be weird anyway. I luv and have luved every one of my ages." – this needs to be placed on a big billboard all around to remind people of this.
Not to mention how ridiculous people sound when they tell others that they look younger than their age. If they do, they don't need to point that out. If they don't, they will sound out of touch with reality, to say the least.
This is great advice man, interesting enough i was curious to see how many people just flat out copied and pasted your About Me part instead of taking something away from it. Turns out a lot of people did. Just search up the last part in google"And what made you weak in your knees from joy and pleasure?" Hilarious.
Thanks. I actually noticed that quite a few people copy and paste my examples by just googling it. Well, I don’t think this information will reach so many people that it will actually have a negative effect, or at least I would like to hope so.
Awesome post!.. but I will now critique the critic above because I have no life and am bored out of my mind. The above critical commentator seems to me like a very English female with a very large whip with which she likes to whip unsuspecting victims with whom it appears she meets quite regularly. She is most likely single or not fully content and this is because of the whip.
Your first example shows that the person is lacking in communication skills. He states he is looking for an intelligent woman and not too many woman will think…. nope I am a dummy I can't contact him. His perception of intelligent and beautiful is what? compared to someone else's perception. I agree it is not a good online dating profile.
Your second example shows that this person defines himself by what he does not who he is. He apparently doesn't know much about himself. Lacking a little in self confidence. Although he does express some of his interests but not specific enough. I ask, who doesn't like BBQ's? Most people like to go for walks or hiking the only difference is the scenery. Watching baseball?? would that be on TV or going to baseball games. There is a big difference. So I would have to say just about anybody could be a possible match for this person. I agree it generically boring.
Your third party boy. Can you imagine being in a relationship with him? You would get no attention because his friends get it all. You might be able to tag along sometimes. I bet you would get stood up because he got caught up with his friends. He would just tell you to get over it because his friends are more important. Absolutely no committed values what so ever. He would be better off being gay.
Last but not least the best of the bunch… A little sarcastic, a little chip on his shoulder. Impulsive can be good but can also get you in trouble. A little restless, perhaps adult ADD, stays up late, how does that fit in with a working… what is that he does working that could keep him up so late often.
This fellow has a sense of humor, has an attitude, is witty, is opinionated, judgmental, a little outspoken and adventurous. He has a softer side when the time is right. He has a mixture of some good boy, bad boy going on.
Could make for an interesting date. I would at least check it out.
Great advice 🙂
A really good way to make women interested.