Losing First Love – Lose It Without Losing Yourself!

losing first love - lose it without losing yourselfAnyone who remembers his first love would agree that losing first love is one of the most traumatic, painful emotional experiences in a person’s late teens or early twenties. Losing first love is probably more hurtful than losing any subsequent love or breaking up in the future. When our very first love is not reciprocated or when our first lover abandons us for whatever reasons, we truly feel crashed and our world collapses. That perfect world that we thought we had with that perfect person who we were crazy about all of a sudden became less stable and not as eternal as we first thought we lose our first love. After all, every man and a woman tend to believe that that first person who they fall for is that one-of-a-kind special partner that will spend a lifetime with them. When these hopes are shattered by the reality of losing first love, we feel betrayed, powerless, and above all – angry.

We believe that there has to be something we could do to fix the situation, to bring that person back into our life and to resolve any differences that caused the break-up. Usually, however, our attempts to bring our first “ex” back only have the reverse effect – they distance our first romantic partner even further from us, make us all the more unattractive and undesirable to the other person, and make the break-up hurt even more. As in most other situation, you cannot impose yourself upon someone who doesn’t want to be with you, and the harder you try the more they would want to stay away from you, as you simply cannot convince another person to be with you and neither should you try. No matter how badly you want to be with that other person and how special you think he or she is, it takes two to tango, and if the other person refuses to “dance”  – then you have to look for another dancing partner, without looking back.

As we all know, losing first love can hurt a lot and most people would agree that the first break-up is the hardest one in their life. Losing first love at times can be unbearable.  Looking at the photos of the two of you, thinking about all the things you have done together and planned to do together in the future does not make it easier. But hey, you don’t really have a choice but to move on. Overcoming such painful experiences is almost inevitable, and it is your duty to yourself to handle a break-up the right way.

So, what can you do to alleviate that pain, if you are at the stage of having the bitter taste of losing first love?

First and foremost, you have to realize that no matter how bad and how unique your pain is, it is what everyone feels and experiences when in your shoes. And guess what – the vast majority of people do not settle and spend their whole life with their first love. Every young boy and girl cry, reminiscing on the great times that they had with their first beloved. They think about the looks they got and gave to each other, their magic nights, all the places they went together and all the things they did together and had in common. No matter how special and unique you believe your situation is and no matter how one-of-a-kind you think your love is, obviously you are not the first person who feels that way, so you must remember that what you feel is not uncommon for a person in your situation, and it can be successfully dealt with, and you will deal with it and will eventually overcome it and will move on.

Secondly, if that other person initiated a break-up, you must stop trying to get him/her back. During my work with people of different ages and dating backgrounds, I haven’t yet seen one person return to anyone as a result of being convinced by the one they broke up with to come back. You should realize that if a person made a decision to leave you, then he/she has their own reasons for it that might even be beyond your ability to relate or change. Anything you do to bring that person back into your life will only make you more unattractive and even repelling to him/her.

Thirdly, you should know that there is no shortcut or a quick trick that will allow you to get over your pain. Getting over losing first love takes time! A certain amount of time must elapse before the pain begins going away. It might take anywhere from several weeks to several months before you feel any relief.  By keeping yourself busy and interested in other people socially and romantically, you will help the healing process dramatically. It is also very important that you remember that what you feel is normal. It’s an emotion. An emotion of love and romantic interest takes time to develop and it takes time to go away when you break up. You cannot expect something you felt for months or years to disappear overnight. In fact, you should be concerned if you don’t feel any pain, as that should raise some concerns about your emotional availability and sensitivity as a human being.

I can bet that if you just lost your first love, you are convinced that he/she is one of a kind and that you are never going to meet anyone quite like him/her, especially if you feel that you have never meet anyone like him/her before. Well, guess what – I can also bet that this is not true! The reality of the dating life of all people I worked with shows beyond any doubt that they meet many, many more people after their first love, who they fall in love with and who they consider to be very special in their own, unique way. It’s true that no two people are alike, but it’s also true that every person, including every subsequent person who you will date will have something special about him/her that your former love didn’t. So, don’t allow yourself to aggravate your heart even further by making yourself believe that your loss is irreplaceable. This is simply not true.

Perceive your loss of first love as a positive stage in your life. It’s part of growing up, part of becoming stronger and more mature and learning how to deal with breaking up and rejection. And the best part is that every subsequent break-up in your life will likely be easier, as you will learn how to handle it and how to move on with your life.

Lastly, don’t consider your past relationships to be a waste of time just because they ended. The only time when the relationship is a waste of time is if you were in it for the wrong reasons or if you didn’t learn anything from it and moved forward without becoming a better partner and without reflecting on the possible mistakes that you made in your last relationship that you could and should avoid in the future.

You enjoyed loving as long as it lasted. I sure hope that you learned something from that experience and that you also reflect on the possible mistakes you made. It’s never too early or too late to learn how to be a better relationship partner and how to avoid having the same problems in the future as you had in the past. And if you want to start learning some of the most crucial elements of being a great relationship partner learn about my audio program “20 Laws of Successful Relationships.”

The vast majority of people lose their first love and pretty much all of them live through it, becoming stronger and more mature individuals and lovers. You will be in the same group! Remember, a true champion does not deny his loss. He accepts it with grace and dignity, and does his best to learn from it, so that he moves on as a better and a stronger person. This applies to both sports as well as love and dating.

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steve connor
steve connor
4 years ago

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christy jamie
christy jamie
4 years ago

THANKS DR FOR YOUR HELP

Klárka Jeffree Hoduláková
Klárka Jeffree Hoduláková
4 years ago

Needed this, thank you.

Catrina Maureen
Catrina Maureen
5 years ago

I just want to share my experience and testimony here..my name is Mrs Rose

i was married for 4 years to my husband

and all of a sudden, another woman came into the picture.. he started

hailing me and he was

abusive..but i still loved him with all my heart and wanted him at all

cost…then he filed for

divorce..my whole life was turning apart and i didn’t know what to do..he

moved out of the

house and abandoned the kids.. so someone told me about trying spiritual

means to get my

husband back and introduced me to a spell caster

dr.erazuagreattemple@gmail.com so i decided to try it

reluctantly..although i didn’t believe in all those things…she told me about, Africa Spell Temple,

TEMPLE OF

solution,they offer different kinds of spell.CURE TO ALL KIND OF SICKNESS,

LOVE, MONEY, PROTECTION, GOOD JOB,PROMOTION, EX BACK,

WIN LOTTERY,HIV AND GET PREGNANT and so many more.

India Spell Temple, is a temple which has been in

existence for more than 52 year and it has been past from generation to

generations. What they do is 100% guaranteed and no matter what the

problem is,the spell works for the power behind it is very

powerful and secured, no harm and very easy, And in this

temple they are rules that can never be violated: {1} Do not tell

anybody about the spell until you have seen result {2} Do not work

with them and the same time work with another spell caster it is either

you make a choice {3} Do not come for jokes or take spell casting

for granted. then when he did the special prayers and spell, after 2days, my

husband came back and was pleading..he had realized his mistakes..i just

couldn’t believe it..

anyways we are back together now and we are happy.

But before he start with the casting of the spell this informations

will be needed,

YOUR NAME:

YOUR COUNTRY:

YOUR MOBILE:

YOUR PHOTO AND HIS:

HIS DATE OF BIRTH AND YOURS:

you can contact him with this email dr.erazuagreattemple@gmail.com

It works…..am happy again at last. and his mobile number +2349060424123I just want to share my experience and testimony here..my name is Mrs Rose

i was married for 4 years to my husband

and all of a sudden, another woman came into the picture.. he started

hailing me and he was

abusive..but i still loved him with all my heart and wanted him at all

cost…then he filed for

divorce..my whole life was turning apart and i didn’t know what to do..he

moved out of the

house and abandoned the kids.. so someone told me about trying spiritual

means to get my

husband back and introduced me to a spell caster

dr.erazuagreattemple@gmail.com so i decided to try it

reluctantly..although i didn’t believe in all those things…she told me about, Africa Spell Temple,

TEMPLE OF

solution,they offer different kinds of spell.CURE TO ALL KIND OF SICKNESS,

LOVE, MONEY, PROTECTION, GOOD JOB,PROMOTION, EX BACK,

WIN LOTTERY,HIV AND GET PREGNANT and so many more.

India Spell Temple, is a temple which has been in

existence for more than 52 year and it has been past from generation to

generations. What they do is 100% guaranteed and no matter what the

problem is,the spell works for the power behind it is very

powerful and secured, no harm and very easy, And in this

temple they are rules that can never be violated: {1} Do not tell

anybody about the spell until you have seen result {2} Do not work

with them and the same time work with another spell caster it is either

you make a choice {3} Do not come for jokes or take spell casting

for granted. then when he did the special prayers and spell, after 2days, my

husband came back and was pleading..he had realized his mistakes..i just

couldn’t believe it..

anyways we are back together now and we are happy.

But before he start with the casting of the spell this informations

will be needed,

YOUR NAME:

YOUR COUNTRY:

YOUR MOBILE:

YOUR PHOTO AND HIS:

HIS DATE OF BIRTH AND YOURS:

you can contact him with this email dr.erazuagreattemple@gmail.com

It works…..am happy again at last. and his mobile number +2349060424123

Hollim Frankly
Hollim Frankly
5 years ago

BEST AND GENUINE SPELL CASTER ONLINE TO HELP SAVE BROKEN MARRIAGE AND BROKEN RELATIONSHIP
I live in London, and I’m happily married with a lovely wife and three children. I had a very big problem with my wife few months ago, to the extent that she left the house with our kids to her parents’ for almost 5 months. All efforts to bring them back proved abortive. Friends and Family were all in concern and my very close mate gave me an advice concerning a spell caster, and he quote; “There’s someone who can handle your situation, he’s always ready and able to do anything related to spiritual matters, I searched for a spell caster on the internet, his advert was everywhere, Although I never believed in spell casting, but he convinced me and I had
no choice than to follow his advice, because I never dream of losing my lovely wife and I was desperate. So I did all what he told me to do and i did. He told me that I’ll get my wife back in two days after the spell is completed. I was skeptical. He casted the spell for me and i was so anxious waiting to see or hear from her, until
the second day when my wife called and said she was coming home . It was like a joke to me!!! That’s how I got my family back through spiritual means and our relationship is now stronger than ever. One of the price I was asked to pay was to tell it to people around me that problems like this, can always be solved by Dr GOSSY. And this is his email drgossysolutioncenter@gmail.com concern if you wish to contact him and solve your problem too , my advice to you out there is to visit this great DR GOSSY and tell him your problems. He’s capable of handling anything spiritual and spell casting. Thanks a lot for saving my marriage.

GOOD LUCK.

oceantracks
oceantracks
5 years ago

My first love left me when I was 19. It was brutally traumatic, particularly because it was so unexpected. I thought everything was fine.

I’m 65 now, and still think about it, even though happily married with kids. So don’t be surprised if you aren’t over it in a few months……

Dr. Zuma
Dr. Zuma
5 years ago

hello everyone, am dr Zuma raymond from africa, am a spell-caster of any problem and sickness. i have help a lot of people to recover their lost happiness in many ways but here am i today to tell you that there is no need to surfer and die over a problem which can be solve. if you need my help on anything you can email me on (spiritualherbalisthealing@gmail.com).

1) need a love spell to get your ex back..

2) hiv cure..

3) pregnancy spell.. .

4) promotion spell..

5) cancer cure and other deadly disease

6) marriage spell. e.t.c

7)ALS cure and others .

just email me on spiritualherbalisthealing@gmail.com or call +2349055637784 don’t keep your pain to yourself so it wouldn’t destroy you. thanks and may you all grow from strength to strength…..

Ru.
Ru.
5 years ago

Lost my first love yesterday. The build up to the breakup was torturing, and when he ended it, I almost had a bit of closure knowing where I finally stood. I’m sixteen, coming to the end of high school and will be moving on in life, and honestly I’ve never felt so hopeless. Thoughts like ‘but we went through x, he said y, I was his first z’ makes me hopeful that he’ll come around again, but with all the doubt that I’m receiving, I don’t know what to think any more. I feel like no matter how accurately I try to exert it, my words won’t match up to the emotions I’m feeling right now. How can you fall out of love after three years?

At times like this I’m torn between holding onto hope and the motivation to change for him, trying to move on and deal with the pain, or just stop continuing altogether.

I was supposed to be his forever; he said I’m all his. I still have borrowed clothes and gifts, and things that have been left untouched since I was in a relationship, or objects in my room that haven’t been tampered since he’s moved them.

I think the hardest thing to adjust to isn’t the average, tangible item. It’s dealing with the memories behind almost everything around you. ‘He’d usually walk here to my house while I look outside this window,’ ‘I’d only come here with him,’ ‘I visited this place and sat on that seat with him,’ ‘usually he’d be in my arms at this time,’ and the best one of all, ‘he loved me a week ago’.

Sarah Ghabrial
Sarah Ghabrial
5 years ago

Needed this

Dr Odion Ighalo
Dr Odion Ighalo
5 years ago
Reply to  Sarah Ghabrial

My ex and I have been broken up for about 2 months and I don’t think that we’re suppose to be over yet, I feel like we’re still meant to be even if he’s wandered out of my life for now. I love him a lot and I know things could be different this time since i contacted Dr Odion Ighalo
via email: odionighalospellcaster008@hotmail.com WhatsApp or call +2348053461505 all my problems is solve now and we are both living together i now believe love spell work since Dr Odion Ighalo did it for me.

Forrest Hall
Forrest Hall
5 years ago

I lost my one and only love 18 years ago. I’ve tried to move on, going through the motions and marrying other women who my heart never genuinely loved. As a result I’ve been through two failed marriages.
I have some decisions based on these experiences: 1) it was wrong for me to have ever married anyone else other than the one my heart loved, 2) I should not repeat the mistake. I will remain single the rest of my life.

Philip Anderson
Philip Anderson
6 years ago

just wanna share my experience with everyone how i got my ex back and saved my marriage,because i really love my husband so much that i can not even do without him I think i am incomplete without him by my side. I was married for 9years with my husband and 2kids and we lived happily until things started getting rough and we had fights and arguments all the time… it got worse at a point that he filed for divorce… I tried my best to make him change and stay with me because i dont want to lose him and i love him with all my heart but things didn’t work out… he moved out of the house and still went ahead to file for divorce… All this stopped when someone introduced me to this wonderful, great spell caster who eventually helped me with love spell… I have never been a fan of things like this but just decided to try because I was desperate and left with no choice… He did special prayers and used roots and herbs… Within 2 days my husband called me and was sorry for all the emotional trauma he had costed me, moved back to the house and we continue to live happily, the kids are happy with my husband. I have introduced him to a lot of couples with problems around me and they all had good result….. Send him a mail via (abuyespelltemple@gmail.com) Don’t give up yet, you will feel good and happy so make effort to save your marriage or relationship if it’s truly worth it……..

TheGamer Man
TheGamer Man
6 years ago

I just lost my first love and she was really kind hearted and had a wonderful name. She just left primary school because she is the year above me.

Darsh m
Darsh m
6 years ago

Hi can u contact me? I know its year old thread but im at the same situation as urs at same age!! Im in dark and falling down. I want know how r u now and how u dealt with it, pls if u can help me.

Lydia laures
Lydia laures
6 years ago

I am out here to spread this good news to the entire world on how I got my ex love back. I was going crazy when my love left me for another girl last month, But when I meet a friend that introduce me to DR Olawole the great messenger to the whole world who God has given him the grace to help people in their relationships, I narrated my problem to DR Olawole about how my ex love left me and also how I needed to get a job in a very big company. He only said to me that i have come to the right place were I will be getting my heart desire without any side effect. He told me what i need to do, After it was been done, In the next 2 days, My love called me on the phone and was saying sorry for living me before now and also in the next one week after my love called me to be pleading for forgiveness, I was called for an interview in my desired company were i needed to work as the managing director.. I am so happy and overwhelmed that I have to tell this to the entire world to contact DR Olawole at the following email address and get all your problem solve.. No problem is too big for him to solve. Contact him direct on: ugbeninspellsolutiontemple@gmail.com And get your problems solve like me….. ONCE AGAIN HIS EMAIL ADDRESS IS: ugbeninspellsolutiontemple@gmail.com

Alpha
Alpha
7 years ago

Too all the man that lost there first love from a traumatic recovery guy here that was at your lvl a month ago. MAN UP !!!! BE ALPHA NOT BETA i was BETA and same thing happen to me !!! Its ALL A GAME !!!! Hate to tell this but you all got PLAYED !!! In a Relationship there is 2 roles player and played, search it on internet, Did i get played ????? If you are a Player you satisfy your needs and the woman whit you will be charming and needy and will tell you she loves you first then you satisfy her needs from time to time and Relationship will last for as long as you are happy whit it, when your played you tell her you love her first and try to satisfy all her needs and become a door mat and cheated or break up…. A woman needs to know your the male !!! MAN UP !!! And for the ones whit girls in other state SAME GOES MAN UP AND MOVE ON and if she comes back and you really want her Try your chance then don’t waste years of your lifes waiting or suffering that is being needy you gotta stand for yourselfs !!!!! On recovery poeple don’t loose months of your life waiting !!! MAN UP !!!! I got my ex gf back this way and it was watching all the lasting Relationship of my friends around me when i got the hint, why are they still whit them after so many years when they are treated poorly ?? Hate to tell this but it is what it is they need the drama !!!

dheeraj
dheeraj
7 years ago

Thanks you so much for the great article. its really helpful.

Harmand Amadeus
Harmand Amadeus
7 years ago

My Name is Harmand Amadeus from California. I am here to give testimony on how got my wife back. My wife left me for no reason 3 years ago. She moved out with another man, i felt like killing myself, my life became very bitter and sorrowful. Then 1 day, a friend of mine told me about a great spell caster that is very good and does not even charge for his services, he said he gave him some lucky numbers that he played in a lottery and he won. I didn't believe it because I've worked with so many of them and it didn't work. He begged me further so i decided to try this great spell caster called DR. OTIAGBE and i contacted him via his email: {Otiagbe@yahoo.com}. I still didn't believe. I used the spell he gave me and the next day i received a call from my darling wife called Rugina last month. She apologized and came back to me. I'm very happy now. Thank you DR. OTIAGBE, You can reach him via email: {Otiagbe@yahoo.com}

Jack
Jack
7 years ago

I know exactly how you feel Emma 🙁

This girl was and I honestly believe this even though im young, (18) , my first true love. We were together for 11 months, 1 week shy of our 1 year milestone when she ended it over phone saying she felt nothing and couldn't do it, Its been a month since the breakup and I still can't get to sleep till 2 in the morning, just lying in bed brooding over how perfect she was and that she was my real happiness and she and I had helped each other through thick and thin as best friends, we still try to be friends but I can't do it knowing she is completely over me and liking other people so quickly after all we had and felt which now just feels one sided even when I put so so much into the relationship and I'm just so depressed all the time now and I honestly don't feel like living because she was my everything, I would do everything for her.. The phrase "I'd take a bullet for you" couldn't have justified at all, anything and everything that I would have gone through to keep her happy because if she was happy I was happy and when we broke up I had and still have no one to lean on, I only have a couple of mates who arnt the type to talk about this let alone comprehend the feeling and my family don't understand, they just think its that teenage not real love stuff. What sucks even more is that she was the only one that was always there for me and the only I one I could comfortably share my feelings and emotions with and now I have no one at all. Yea I have "friends" who say you can talk to me but they won't even look at me or talk to me more than once a week. She was literally everything I had 🙁 and I still can't get over her, every minute of the day I get pangs of despair because I feel like my heart has been gripped by a cold icy hand and ripped from my body and my soul been pierced by a million and one spears of depression and anxiety. I'm sorry about my rant… I guess I just took the opportunity of being able to express my feelings for once even if it is to someone I don't even know.. Maybe its because people here on this page have felt the same way that I find some comfort in sharing my story.. She helped me through everything and now I am alone and feel as lost as I did before meeting her if not twice as more :/ 🙁

You'll be fine
You'll be fine
6 years ago
Reply to  Jack

Don’t worry bud there’s plenty of women out there that will see what type of man you are. She just wasn’t the one. The sleepless nights the depression it’s all a phase and its a phase that you control.its up to you whether or not you want to pick yourself up an move on. I can tell you from experience that sitting around depressed is a waste of your time because to be bluntly honest she is not coming back. Those memorable nights long conversations and that feeling of she’s the one is gone…but only with her. There is another women out there that will give you those feelings and she will love you in return but it up to you to go find her…Champions fight another round…good luck

Mickey
Mickey
6 years ago
Reply to  You'll be fine

“Champions fight another round…”
Sometimes, even champions get beaten down enough times before throwing in the towel. How many punches are enough?

practicalhappiness (
7 years ago

And even if it takes longer, time is the only cure in that kind of situation.

MATA
MATA
7 years ago

After my break up, I sat in my bed all day, every day. I cried constantly I actually started to Google ways to get over a broken heart, and that’s when I found your email I just wanted to thank you so much for your help. It has gotten me through a lot, and I appreciate it immensely thank you for bringing my husband back to me and our kids thank you drlawrencespelltemple@hotmail. com you are truly a blessing.

Tom
Tom
7 years ago

One more thing will I ever love and trust someone as much as I did her again? And should I not look for a relationship or look because I feel if I don't I won't find one

Tom
Tom
7 years ago

Yeah that's why I want to be friends with her because I harbor hope to be with her in the future and it's silly my friend told me to completely cut everyone who I know is connected to her out and I have but I feel bad about it

Tom
Tom
7 years ago
Reply to  practicalh

Is it a good thing to try and be friends after three months or just move on and forget her

practicalh
7 years ago

Statistically, this is extremely unlikely to happen at your age. There is no point in being afraid, but it might be well worth learning the lesson from your recent break-up and focusing and improving your ability to meet, date and attract girls. The rest will take care of itself in due time.

Tom
Tom
7 years ago
Reply to  practicalh

I don't really know what the lesson is to learn from my break up she basically left me and went straight on to another guy so I don't really know what there is to learn and she told me we broke up over arguing and stuff but I highly doubt it we always worked things out but since you was talking to him she didn't want to I guess I do deserve someone who no that its a wrong decision to make and I don't know how I can approve my ability to meet girls

practicalh
7 years ago

You are just beginning your adult life and your dating life. Everyone feels what you feel when they lose their first real love. There will be many other women in your life. They won't be just like her, but they will also be special in their own way.

Tom
Tom
7 years ago
Reply to  practicalh

I know but am just scared I won't find anyone who will interest me or even be interested in me the guy she left me for has a lot in common with me so basically she replaced me with me I got sick of giving her attention because she was always with me 24/7 and they didn't end up getting together which was good I guess

Tom
Tom
7 years ago

Yes but am the one left scarred and wounded I can never trust or love anyone just as much again I mean why should I let people in fuck them

Tom
Tom
7 years ago
Reply to  practicalh

Sorry I think I kinda overreacted but I just feel I'll never find anyone better or like her again I just don't think I'll be loved 🙁 and I don't want to be alone am 17 and scared to death I've only had 1 relationship

Anonymous751
Anonymous751
8 years ago

"I almost wish he cheated on me so I could move on quicker. " It's not any easier, especially if you don't find out right away that he cheated. Sure, when/if you find out, the anger can help you be less sad. But here's the kicker. It's probably going to take years for me to get over my first because we were together for so long and had that "enviable" connection. Our love was a source of pride in a world "where people couldn't communicate effectively." We healed each other from past emotional turmoil, parent shortcomings, etc. Our relationship seemed to be the most meaningful thing in the world. Guess what – on his side, it was all false – he used all that time to lie and cheat behind my back. I still miss what I thought were the good times with him because, on my end, they WERE good times. What's worse? I feel like I'd forgive him for everything just to have him back. Where on earth did my self-respect and standing my ground go?! I know I'm better than to have to accept that sort of thing! Time to see a therapist to reassess what was going wrong before he walked into my life and "healed" me and made a lot of false promises. Enter the song "How Long" by Hinder. Music is food for the soul, even the "broken" ones.

Tom
Tom
8 years ago

This has helped I lost my first love three months ago and I just feel like I can't live without her we was so perfect together but she broke up with me and went out with another guy three days after turned out she had been talking to him for a week and not matter what I done I forgave her and tried winning her back which was silly just came of clingy and stupid 🙁 that fact was she did say she loved me and told me we was gonna get back together and stuff in the first few weeks but I guess I was seen more as an option in her eyes :'(

Anonymous751
Anonymous751
8 years ago
Reply to  practicalh

If you want to reclaim anything as yours, do it. Songs you shared, make them YOUR meaningful songs. They probably meant more to you in the end, anyway! Keep those little keepsakes tucked away for the next one who really means a lot to you. Yes, the next one – there will be one, when you're ready. Don't rush it. And practice (respectfully!) saying "No" to others – you don't need her, you don't need anyone else. You own your healing time – give yourself some self-respect. One day, that stranger down the hall will be the most fascinating person to you, and you'll be the most wonderful person she's ever met!

Tom
Tom
7 years ago
Reply to  practicalh

Thank you for the advice but it's hard when I have to be in the same class as the guy she cheated on me with and most of my mutual friends talk to her I just don't know what to do I feel very numb towards her But miss her somedays and what makes it worse is that she's seem okay and I felt very suicidal in the first month it was so hard for it's my first experience and it's just put me off trusting anybody

practicalh
7 years ago
Reply to  Tom

@ Tom – it does sound like a painful situation indeed, but it is supposed to be painful under the circumstance. Dealing with this and overcoming it should part of your process of growing stronger and more mature. There is simply no way of getting around it except waiting till you are not in the same class, and for now trying to do what you can to minimize the amount of time you look at him or have to interact with him on any level.

While you should learn certain lessons from this, you should not let this experience change your future ability to connect with girls. Just because one girl cheated on you, doesn't mean that the next will. In fact, it doesn't say anything at all about the next girl you will meet.

Tom
Tom
7 years ago
Reply to  practicalh

Their is always a chance though and that's what scares me I don't want to go through pain like this again 🙁 not the way she treated me :'( and am just gonna be paranoid and scared now throughout all my other relationships just because of what she done and the fact that she treated me like shit and said I was clingy when I forgave her and want to stay friends but am glad she's gone am just sad that it's gonna be hard finding someone with all the same interests as me like she did and the guy has a lot of similar intresets in what I like so she basically replaced me for a younger me she's 19 nearly 20 and went out with a 16 year old then a 14 year old am 17 and was with her for a year and I just thought nothing could touch us :'(

Jim
Jim
8 years ago

Thank you for this article. It makes me feel much better and it reminds me that however painful I think my break up is, it's quite normal and natural to feel how I feel.

Olly
Olly
8 years ago

Some inspirational stuff here, and in the comments! It's true, I thought me and Carly would never break up but it's only after a hard week and some online resources that feel confident now! Guys, we all knew that losing that first love would be hard, but just be thankful it happened, and look forward to all of the above things!

kss
kss
8 years ago

just lost my first love … it was a short , but traumatic experience … and even worse, the way she ended it was brutal …. silent treatment T_T ..

i dont think i'll be playing this relationship thing again .. i was an ant-relationship person due to being surrounded with people in bad relationships .. when i fell for her, and she accepted my confession, i attempted to change …

but before anything .. everything i feared come into being … so now i'm going back to my original route … i'm really not playing this game anymore … i'm not made for it ..

Digvijay
Digvijay
8 years ago

i lost my first love 5 years from now in 2009….

the pain is still a fresh in my heart….

no such articles ever help me….

i feel like i need a psyk some times…

those day were the best and the sweetest…

i have never been the same since..

i feel some part of me is stolen…

ill miss that for ever…

Tynesha D
Tynesha D
4 years ago
Reply to  Digvijay

How are you doing now?

Andi
Andi
8 years ago

Im am going through this now.. My boyfriend and I were together 4 incredible years. They werent always picture perfect, but we grew a tremendous amount together. We met at 16, we fell in love we were each others first loves, and many would say it was puppy love. Which it was. Then he went off to college and we took a break. And when we reconnected it was real genuine love, not infatuation. We stood by each other and supported each other through lifes curve balls.

It got to the point where it was marriage, or time to break up. We love each other immensely, but we could t get our futures to line up. I was a strong grounded family, and he wants to travel the world to dangerous places and be a doctor, help all those that need it. I commend him and love him for it, but we cant be what we need in terms of a family together. It is the epitome of that song "with or without you" how do you move on from someone your in love with and you know they are in love with you… You just cant be together.. Thats what i struggle with now and will forever. I will always love him and miss my most treasured best friend

Anonymous
Anonymous
8 years ago

Hi!All every break up feels like the first one,so i'll just go back in time and tell about my first one.well it's been many moons since then I met a women in my work we lit a sprk from first site had a kid inn a year had another in a year she lied to me on sec kid said she was on the pill she wasn't then broke up then got back together and this went on for 12 years of insanity,I devorced her,I felt ruined and 15years later I still struggle like as if I was 19 I keep meeting women with multible baggage,Maybe we should really look at are selfs and not look at the other person they do what they want,we have a responsability for us no one else just ourselves man or women so yes first break up sec break up to me break ups hurt and for me the time period may shorten except the feeling of something dieing inside never changed.what to do what we arre doing right now reading,do something for yourself,go to the gym better yourself thats what I do,I had a good women everything was fine,then one night on the way home on my bike I got struck down by a truck unfortuately im bed rested and was troubled seem I took it out on my lady a bit told her to leave.Sad so here I am crippled alone no family a few friends that are very busy no car on disability.with a life i could right a book about.and the women i told to get out of my place yes I loved her oh so much Im human I made a great mistake life will go on with me or without me so best is to get out the duck tape tape the pieces of your heart back together and make the best of it learn off it.and love the next one as if it was your first or it won't work carring all that baggage around.CHEERS ALL

Lauren
Lauren
8 years ago

My first love and I were supposed to be the perfect couple. We'd been 'friends' in preschool, met up again at a summer camp at age 14, and started dating at 17. He was my best friend, the first person I could be completely myself around outside of family, and someone I trusted with everything. I looked at him and saw all of the love he had for me and wondered what I'd done to get someone who loved me so much. We were crazy in love, his parents thought we would get married, and I positively glowed any time I thought about him.

Our relationship became long distance when I went to college 700 miles away, and I quickly realized that distance might not be something he dealt very well with. I could still see the same love in his eyes for me when we met every six weeks, but in between visits he was jealous and insecure and we fought often throughout my freshman year.

April of my freshman year we took a break for two weeks, ending with a planned visit. We talked through the night, worked out our issues, and reaffirmed that we only wanted to be with each other. In June I kissed him goodbye as he left for basic training before joining ROTC at his university. We made it through ten weeks of communicating through letters only, managed his transition from basic to college, and he came to visit me in October for our two year anniversary. We hadn't fought or had problems in six months. Things that used to cause his jealous insecurity were no longer an issue. I was the happiest I could ever remember being.

Eight days after our anniversary, he called me on Skype and broke up with me because he couldn't handle the distance. I was heartbroken. I didn't understand how he was so sad while I had been so happy. I woke up to a voicemail from him the next morning saying that he loved me and had made a terrible mistake. I didn't trust him enough to call him back, however badly I wanted to. A month later he contacted me again and said that he wouldn't let this happen, maybe it was a bad idea to start talking to me again, but he couldn't bear to be apart from me. I knew I wanted time on my own, knew I didn't trust him with distance, knew I probably shouldn't reply to his email. But I missed him too much and was hurting. I wanted my best friend back. I replied.

We were in limbo for five months, as he tried like hell to win back my trust and I spent time figuring out myself. Easter weekend 2013 he had finally convinced me to take another chance. Still wary of distance, however, and knowing that he would be going off to AIT and I would remain on my university campus for June, told him that now was not the best time, and we should wait until we could be in the same place for at least a week. He agreed. We kissed goodbye, and I went back to school with renewed hope in our relationship.

Three weeks later he had found a new girlfriend and pushed me away for someone closer. He told me there was a possibility for us in the future, that he wanted me to still be his friend but not think of him romantically anymore. I stopped speaking to him.

I just found out about the new girl on Tuesday. I am absolutely crushed. After everything we went through, all the work we did, and all the work he did trying to get me back, we end in an angry phone conversation about another girl. I don't know whether I love him and want to be his friend or hate him and never want to speak to him again. I lost a friend of six years and a boyfriend of two. My brain says I'm better off, but all my heart wants is to have him back in my arms.

Michael
Michael
8 years ago

Hey Ana seriously its the same here my ex she just ended things cold and dark. no emotions showed. 2 years of a roller coaster and that's all i get. Left in the dark.

Her family hated me so I kinda knew one day she'd go with their decision. But you know what. It has gone a month and im feeling abit better. It will pass. we will find that lucky partner to be with and im not talking about we being lucky . They will be the lucky ones! 😀

SUN
SUN
8 years ago

"Susismita Bora" She was my everything. My Life, My breath. We were friends for 10 years and then we decided to be in a relationship. She always knew that I liked her ever since college days, but I never said so. One fine day she came to me and gave me all hints and courage to tell her what I feel about her. She quickly accepted. We were together for more than a year. Finally she found some one else. and I was madly down and lowest to low in my life.

How could she do it … and why ? I never understood. and probably will never coz we were so happy in the relationship. smiles and hugs were all around. one fine day she broke up via email and that was it.

All contacts calls or any other possible communication stopped. So were our dreams. Dreams of mrrg kids, spending life together.. End to everything.

I learned one thing .. Never make anyone priority in life. Being selfish is always good. We have to take care of ourselves. Frankly she was the one who could have stopped my tears, but here she was the one making me cry… i had no one to turn onto..

I cried like hell… I was lonely. I locked up myself in my room for almost 2 months…

and then submitted myself to my parents who decided things for me then.

I have no regrets on what happened but she lost one person who loved her beyond anything or anyone. she lost someone who could have gave her happiness she would never experience in her whole life.

She lost some one who loved her truly. My loss is nothing as compare to her's.

My god bless her where ever she is.

Anonymous
Anonymous
8 years ago

I honestly feeeel your pain. I'm going thru the same situation and it sucks.nit honestly sucks. Even talking to ur friends or trying to keep ur self busy, at the end of the day it's this emotion we have to deal with every day for the next months maybe years.

One quote you need to keep in mind that help me a lot is that

"Sometimes you have to forget what you feel and remember what you deserve" be strong and keep ya head up.

saif
saif
8 years ago

Its really helpful …

Devin :(
Devin :(
8 years ago

Well its been 3 days since i lost her and ive done like everyother person on here i have felt like total shit ive cried myself to sleep if i could even get to sleep , im 16 btw and idk what to do i think about ending my own life atleast 2 times a day but i cant because i know its just because i want her back and i know i should walk away but i cant so i try to fix it and when i do actually get 1 last chance which wasnt fair and made it harder because she set me up for failure she didnt want to be together she only did it because she felt bad and then left me again which hit sooooo awfully hard someone says her name and i brake down worse part is we go to school and everytime i see her my heart sinks into my chest remembering what once was . But i tried to fix it messed up and tried to walk away but i love her so much i cant do it so im trying to get her back but i tried to hard and i fear i pushed her away from me forever but she asked to be friends but shes only doing it cause she feels bad but anyways it was 3 years together undoubtably the best time of my life and nothing will ever compare but idk i think this is a good way to get my feelings out and ummmm i dont know how to just give her up forever and entirely when i still love her with all of my heart no matter how much she has hurt me i just cant bare to let her go and walk out of my life forever i cant eat sleep and just overall wish i was dead.

Arko
Arko
8 years ago

I envy the fact that you have the luxury of being complacent enough to actually think about hypothetical problems with your lover in the future. As a sappy, sentimental, loser of a bloke, your rather smug comments irk me a little but that's my short-coming, not yours.

Arko
Arko
8 years ago

Some of the comments talk about what a horrible 6 months it has been since the break-up. I dunno… She just upped and left me after high-school and it's been over 2 years since the debacle and I still cry because of her. Not only that, I find it impossible to talk to any of my school friends. I discovered recently that, I hate my school-mates and in extension; my school because they remind me of her. of course since it was the year of the 12th standard school-leaving exams, I bungled it badly. I keep doing stuff that I know will land me in trouble- almost deliberately sabotaging myself. Getting suicidal thoughts. Now, I can't even tolerate Romantic films, romantic songs, etc. I can't even enjoy pornography anymore. Neither can I speak to any girl. I always hated my jackass of a father, so I used to be close to my mum. For the past two years, even she disgusts me. I think, I'm becoming unhinged.

Sandeep
Sandeep
8 years ago

Hi,
I have lost my first love and its quite painful. I miss her alot and can’t live without her. It’s been almost more than 3 years and still i have
a strong feeling for her and emotional attachment. I still dont know the exact reason why she just left me. She never told me.
I asked her many times but she never replied. I kept her messaging almost past 3 years but she never opened up her heart and spoke.
The only reply i use to get from her is “I dont want you in my life.”. I cry almost every single day for her. Its not that i want to cry ,its all just naturally
happening. I have no control left on my tears. They just run anytime. And i have a stronger feeling too ,that she also cries for me alot and misses me.
But practically thinking , i should feel she is over me becoz that’s what she always pretended to me ,which i came to know through others.
My mind says she doesn’t love me anymore but my heart says other thing. Its not that i m not ready to accept things but its just i feel that she still love
me and care for me. I dont know what i should do?. She does not want to meet me or even talk over phone to try to sort thing if possible.
I am really lost and no where to go. I really need help on this. I am no longer any happy person and really dont feel emotional accept for her.
I even feel like not living any more and i should die. But that will be totally wrong in most sense and not correct. I told her that i even have cancer
which may be true as chances are 50% – 50 %. and i also came to know that she was very depressed knowing these. But still after saying this to her
she replied me “I dont want you in my life. My answer is always No”. I really need help on this to know what should i do and what will be good for
both of us.
Please help me someone. What should i do? One thing i know, i cant live without her and she dont want to live with me. So someone between us
is really going to lose all of his/her life.

Please help me. I am not that mature to handle this suituation and no friend of mine is gonna help me on this as they themself are helpless.

Thanks and regard.

garrett
garrett
8 years ago

i was with my first love of my life at age of 30 and it last 5 months,we were perfect and i would do anything for her and her lil girl. just after xmas she said i changed and she needed time to figure her life out(shes 21) ,other day she said to leave her alone for good and my roomie found her profile on a dateing site,im absolutely heartbroken,i cry at wrk and at home all day everyday,it was only 5 months but it felt much longer,feels like ill never b happy again and im a complete loser,

Caleb
Caleb
8 years ago

That feeling of loosing your first love needs no introduction..I am pretty sure we got jipped though..We met each other .I was in ecstasy just laying with her and getting to hear her voice..even to this day her voice makes me feel like a feather. I still have no clue if she loved me or not and I am not sure I ever will, to get the chems my mind was giving she had to be feeling something is my theory…but we attended her uncles wedding and I got strange..she asked to slow down and I flipped out because she was the only important thing that I have ever had. So I only had about a month and a half of time with my darling haha no pun intended. I mean now..here I am a year and a half later just learning about all these feelings I have repressed..she is getting married and contacted me the day after her engagement to tell me she was pregnant..I am done man..I really do not want anyone else in my life but her..I guess it is just time to be a Badass guy..you know the ones that work all the damn time and pick up any women they want to..yeah I am doing that with myself..I feel so stupid though..the instant epiphany that I LOVE THIS WOMAN was tragically too late….Cest' La Vie….I had to smash my phone to prevent myself from calling too much when we broke up..and even then I logged into sprint's website and checked the call history logs to see if she had called..all the while she was meeting babymaker guy..man I am kinda lame now that I wrote all of this out. But I do not want to waste it.

harpriya
9 years ago

Hello I had also lost my love. We have relationship for 2 yrs. I to love her. But we Also have physical relations. At some instant time i got pregnant > i told him not to abort but he do instead of marriage he abort it. This was my first love I get into a painful period . When there was the time of marriage he said me that he is going to marry another girl of his mother father choice. That is the painful time for me. I am very upset these days . What i do tell me .

Daniel
Daniel
9 years ago

I’ve just lost my first love… We’ve been together for 6 years… In the last year I moved to another country to get a decent job and prepare our future. That’s when it started going down… In short, she felt lonely and recently she met someone who caught her attention, although nothing serious she is curious and she left me 1 day before she had to come to me to visit for Christmas and new year… We’ve seed each other many time in the past year, but still wasn’t enough. I’m devastated… She was very special to me, and I to her. We even were both virgins and started that together, which made our relationship special and unique… We had big plans for the future… I don’t even know what to do… I’m still hoping this is a nightmare and I’ll wake up… I’m still waiting for her so show up. It’s been just 2 days since the break-up and we’ve never spoken since than, and we did that every day. I don’t know how I’ll continue… I’m 25 know. I can’t see my life without her, it’s impossible for me… Plus now I’ll stay for Christmas and New Year all alone and I’ll think about her every second, it’s unbearable… Sorry if my English isn’t proper, it’s not my first language.