How to Deal with a Jealous Boyfriend

jealous boyfriendOne of the most common reasons that girls break up with their boyfriends is that these guys become more and more jealous, controlling and possessive. Male jealousy can have many forms, and handling it can be a serious challenge for the women they date.  Some guys are so jealous and controlling that they don’t even let their girlfriends go out on their own with their friends, because they are afraid that some other guy will seduce her and take her away. Other guys tell their girlfriends what to wear, how to keep their hair, who to hang out with, what to eat, and otherwise trying to control their life.

A woman who is in a relationship with a jealous and controlling guy will sooner or later feel very unhappy and even suffocated. As a result, she will start losing interest and attraction for that guy. This is because women love and respect confidence, and jealousy as well as being controlling is one of the most prominent signs of lack of the most unattractive insecurity. Then, the break-up will surely be inevitable. Ironically, the stronger the guy’s feelings are toward the girl he is with, and the fewer girls he has been with, the more jealous he is likely to be.

Why Are So Many Guys Jealous and Controlling in a Relationship?

I believe there are two main reasons for this. First, many guys expect their girlfriend to be perfect. If a guy really likes the girl he is with, he wants everything in that relationship to be perfect, which in his mind means – everything has to be his way because he knows best.  This translates into having an expectation that the girl  will be “perfect” in a way that they imagine that perfect to be to be, so they try to adjust who she is, how she acts, and how she lives her life to their own standard of perfection.

The second reason for this jealousy is fear of losing the girl, and the more special she is to the guy, the greater that fear is, especially if he thinks that she is one of a kind, and he will never meet anyone like her. That guy is going to be worried more often than he should that the special girl he is dating is going to slip away, or some other guy, who has more of anything to offer, is going to take her away. Thus, these guys try to keep their partner away from any “threat.” At first, a girl might be flattered by such attention, thinking that the guy really cares about her. It’s only a matter of time, however, until the girl realizes that the reason the guy is so territorial about her is not because of who she is but because of his own insecurity about her and himself.

How to Deal with Your Boyfriend’s Jealousy

So, how do you deal with your boyfriend’s jealousy and control issues?

Some girls give in to jealousy and try to do whatever they can to please the guy. However, this usually only makes the problem worse, legitimizing the guy’s jealousy in his eyes and taking it to another extreme. By nature, the more we get away, the further we go, so this is a bad idea.

Other girls imply walk away from a relationship with a jealous boyfriend, not being able to tolerate that kind of treatment and lack of basic freedom and trust from their partner. In many cases, walking away is the only option, as many guys are chronically unable to admit that they are pathologically jealous and as a result don’t even try to do anything to overcome their jealousy issues.  If you really love the guy, however, and you are committed to at least doing what you can to make the relationship work, it’s worth at least trying to fix the problem before you leave him. Address jealousy as soon as possible. The first and the necessary step that every jealous guy should take is to realize and acknowledge that he has a problem – that his behavior is irrational and detrimental to the relationship. Have him read this article on overcoming and abandoning jealousy, which will provide very simple yet very practical steps on handling this problem. For many people this article is an eye-opener and is a start to a completely new outlook on their partner and on their relationship.

Like any other challenge, overcoming jealousy is not a matter of reading one article or getting one tip from a friend. There are no overnight solutions to this problem. But if your boyfriend recognizes both, his problem and the fact that it takes work and serious self reflection to overcome his jealous an control issues, this will make his success in overcoming those issues far more likely.