Sep 23 2007
A Woman’s Perspective: Do Women Want Sex?
Of course we do! We just want to be able to make the choice to have sex when we are ready and want it as much as our potential partner does or more, and not feel like it is forced or expected of us. Speaking for myself, as a woman, I like sex. It is fun, exciting and it feels amazing especially with the right guy – the one who I am attracted to and the one who knows what he is doing in bed.
I will be honest and tell you that I am a good girl. A good girl who used to be very prude. Looking back, I realize that I was a prude because I was uncomfortable – with boys, my body, and myself. This is not a good combo for a woman, if she ever wants to have a mind blowing sex life. I did not see sex as fun. I perceived it as something scary and awkward. I felt that all that guys wanted was to use me and then laugh at me, while I wanted them to respect me. Therefore, I would never let them get close unless they put in the time.
When I turned 18, all of this changed for me. I went backpacking and safely kissed my way up the east coast until I met a very special guy who totally broke me out of my shell. The first time we were making out he said to me: “I want you to be comfortable. If I do anything that makes you nervous or uncomfortable, just slap my hand and I will stop.” I can tell you there was no hand slapping that night, and I got very comfortable very quickly with that guy. The reason for this was that for once, I felt that I was in charge of my sexuality. I was getting to make a choice and that alone put me at ease.
Women want to be sexual. Women want to be sexy, and they want to live out crazy sexual fantasies but they need to feel safe, secure and above all – not to be rushed, while knowing that if something goes wrong, they have the power to stop it. Women want to know that they are the one making the choice to have sex because they want to, and not because they are forced or pushed into being sexual.
I never want to feel judged or pressured. I do not want to be tossed in the slut category, and therefore I am very conscious of who I give my sexuality to. Unfortunately, many women are not as lucky to find a wonderful backpacking friend like I did. They have not experienced a safe environment, where they can unleash their sexual creature within. Women want to be unlocked. Trust me. Even the purest of the pure who look far too innocent to have “dirty” thoughts crave adventure. Make no mistake about it: a girl who is a wall flower at a club has just as many sexual fantasies or more than the girl who is taking the center of the dance floor, grinding against and teasing random guys.
As a man, you can give women a safe place to be sexual. Just like my backpacking friend did for me. And you might just be surprised by the results and by what passion you will unleash in a woman.
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