Actual examples of women’s good and bad online dating profiles!

Posted on September 29, 2008 by practicalh · 24 Comments

It is unfortunate that so many people join dating sites but so few put a fair effort into writing a good profile. I am not sure why people go through the trouble of signing up and filling all those questionnaires and then post a profile that looks like a copy of any other neutral, boring, poorly written page.

What makes a woman’s dating profile great is the fact that it stands out from the rest of the profiles on any given online dating site. It doesn’t blend in. It’s not neutral and overly politically correct. It doesn’t describe you with cliche adjectives such as “intelligent, compassionate, educated, and independent” and it is free of boring statements that say
nothing such as “I am as comfortable staying in as staying out.”

Rather than continue describing what a good profile is, I want to bring three actual profiles from this site that I subjectively rated for content. I commented in parentheses throughout the profiles below what I thought of them and why:

Profile #1: Grade C+
I gave this profile a passing grade because while it’s not great, nothing about it makes it terrible.

“I have been in the ——- area for a few years now and always looking to meet new people. (This first sentence says nothing eye-catching about the woman and is very bland, and boring). I am a very hard worker and love my job. I work a lot, but I know how to balance well. I enjoy
meeting new people and going to new places. (still, nothing thought provoking or attractive) I am very spontaneous and I love the outdoors, watching movies, dancing, and traveling. (Another cliché statement that is being used by thousands of other women) A great date can be staying at home with a movie and popcorn, or a night on the town. (This statement has no purpose whatsoever). I made myself a promise a few years ago to take a vacation somewhere new, out of state, every year. I have not been disappointed yet. I would really love to see Europe. (Finally something somewhat interesting that she says about herself).

Well, that is a little about me if you are interested say
hello and we will chat. Talk to you soon!!”
***********************

Profile #2: Grade: B
This profile gets a higher grade because it reflects on the writer’s character and her personality. It’s a bit negative and has a few red flags but other than that – it’s not bad!

“100% Italian, fun loving, affectionate young lady who knows what it takes to make a relationship work. Tired of meeting BOYS who tell me what I want to hear, make and break promises, and aren’t ready for something serious. (This woman is voicing her opinion and shows her personality early on. (Great move!))

You: Honest, mature, gentleman, emotionally, mentally, financially secure (“financially secure” is a bad move in a dating profile because it’s an immediate red flag to a guy that he might be dealing with a materialistic woman.) Knows how to treat a lady, ready for a long term
relationship (this would sound a bit too eager or even desperate to most guys. First, meet a guy, then decide what you want out of him). Please……mean what you say and say what you mean!!! (that’s a good statement).
I live on the East Coast and travel to West every week for work. Being in California 4 days/week gets lonely. (This would make the reader believe that she is not looking for anyone special, but just someone to kill time with and subdue her loneliness). I am looking to meet someone in the this area and see what happens! Relocating for the right person is definitely an option. First date….not sure!!! I am willing to entertain any reasonable offer. (good, funny, statement that shows personality and sense of humor, she should have used more of this kind of words throughout her profile). ”

*******************************

Profile #3 : Grade: A
This is a great profile. It consists of thought provoking statements right from the beginning that show a woman’s great personality and sense of humor. It’s eloquently written, it’s concise, straight and to the point! It is free of fluff and very compelling for a guy who can appreciate it.

“I don’t like most guys, but… I am not interested in most guys and besides perhaps that what makes those few unique individuals that I do connect with all more special. (Great, thought provoking opener that shows a woman’s engaging personality. Myself – restless, analytical, and opinionated. I am not offended by a dirty joke and can dish out one of my own. I am independent but far from being a feminist. Sarcasm is a spice of life, so bring it on. (Guys really, really like to hear that). Timeless books and movies that make you wonder for days about whose side you are on put great flavor into many of my evenings.

What’s your story? What are you greatest pet-peeves and what makes you weak in your knees from joy and happiness.”

bummed

I just clicked on the link below and you completely contradict yourself practical happiness. Your "A" profile says she is independent. However the link "1. Online Dating Advice for Women: keep this out of your online dating profile" 's first piece of advise is to not say youre independent. Plus your "A"' profile's grammar is horrible. Do you have any credentials or edit this site?

[Reply]
practicalhappiness.com Reply:
October 24th, 2010 at 12:13 pm
This deserves clarification, and thank you for bringing this to my attention. While saying that you are “independent” in a profile is indeed redundant and somewhat cliche, that one word is not going to ruin an otherwise well-written profile. Also, in this example, the write says specifically “independent but far from being a feminist” which pretty much clarifies things and shows that the woman is aware of the negative connotations that might be given to the term.

[Reply]
matey

On the grade A profile: I’m very confused as to how a woman who is ‘opinionated’ and ‘independent’ can so vehermntly deny she is a feminist. Only an uneducated fool would write that profile; that or a desperate man pleasing woman who was to afraid to use the F word when she means it…

She sounds full of cr*p.

[Reply]
Anonymous Reply:
April 24th, 2013 at 11:29 am
That’s because you are confused by what a feminist is all about. Feminism is a collection of movements and ideologies aimed at defining, establishing, and defending equal political, economic, and social rights for women. This includes seeking to establish equal opportunities for women in education and employment. Opinionated by definition means, holding stubbornly and often unreasonably to one’s own opinions. It also means, intolerant, prejudiced, chauvinistic, dogmatic, arbitrary and so on. It’s not a good word.

[Reply]
practicalhappiness.c

Well, hopefully being a feminist or extreme feminist is not quite the same as being opinionated an independent. We, readers, tend to give our own meaning and assumptions to what we read and we have to be careful not to assume too much from a few words that sometimes mean what we are afraid they might mean.

[Reply]
Robinincarolina

Today I changed my search results and actually viewed other women’s profiles. Sad, really sad. They all say the same thing. No wonder I get so many hits.

When reading a man’s profile, when he goes on and on about how he is honest, passionate, sincere, yada yada yada, I just move onto the next one. I mean what would you say, you are dishonest, hate sex, and insincere?

These things should be left out of a profile, I so agree.

[Reply]
Reality

feminism:
noun
1: the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes
2: organized activity on behalf of women’s rights and interests

Practicalhappiness, I like your articles, but I dislike your statement “Well, hopefully being a feminist or extreme feminist is not quite the same as being opinionated an independent. We, readers, tend to give our own meaning and assumptions to what we read and we have to be careful not to assume too much from a few words that sometimes mean what we are afraid they might mean.”

The above definition is what feminism means. Other negative connotations are being tacted on to it by the woman who wrote the A profile, and are being encouraged by you. Also, what exactly is an extreme feminist and why is it necessary to include that with feminist? When did the quest for equal rights become so negative? Frankly, the word “feminist” has been unjustifiably abused and misused. I would hope that a majority of men and women would identify themselves as feminists.

[Reply]
practicalhappiness.com Reply:
April 16th, 2011 at 2:52 am
Hello. Your point is well taken. I think one of the issues that people have been having a hard time defining “feminism” and it seems to be quite a dynamic term. It ranges from the extreme and to some – insulting jokes equating feminism to being a lesbian to the opposite and very mild association of feminism with a mere lack of discrimination, and just about anything in between. I guess I referred in this particular instance to those women, whose mission is to be everything a man is in as many ways as possible, which goes far beyond equality of rights, and invades such crucial factors as mannerisms, body language, priorities in life, etc… While everyone should be free to act and do as they wish, the price that those women who strive for a corner office at any costs pay is often higher than the rewards they get.

[Reply]
Jess Colvin

Are you sure it's good to write that you're opinionated? I've talked to guys about what "catches their eye," and they all say they prefer girls who write less than a couple paragraphs. Maybe I'm just naive, but I kind of liked the C+ profile best. Also, a friend forwarded me this link from some guy who's been online dating like forever and it was an amazing read! Good to see things from a male perspective

http://www.daveglenn.com/2011/03/dave-glenns-guid…

If anyone knows any other good articles, plz let me know!!!!!

J

[Reply]
Soosoo

Profile #3: Sounds like a holier-than-thou, judgmental snob. She may not be, but wouldn't know it from her writing. "I don't like most guys…." If I were a reading a man's profile and he wrote: "I don't like most women….." I would not be interested in him.

She's saying she simply doesn't like almost half of the human population since 1/2 the population is male! The difficulty lies with her and her intolerance of other people and her inability to see the goodness and beauty in everybody. Just because you careful choose your romantic partner and are not interested in most men romantically does not mean they are unworthy or your time or appreciation.

I am extremely wary of people who do not like most people. They are projecting unhappiness within themselves onto other people. Life's too short for this attitude. I do not gel with this kind of person and avoid them anyway.

Profile 3 was awful.

[Reply]
Soosoo

Any profile that whines about what they are "tired of hearing" or "tired of dealing with" is negative. How bout throwing in a sentence or two describing what YOU will bring into THE OTHER PERSON'S life. Not lamenting about how awful you've been treated in the past. After all, we all train others to treat us as they do. One of life's most bitter pills we all must, myself included.

Get sick of women writing about BOYS they've dealt with in the past. It "ain't all the boy's fault." The "boy" was probably dealing with a "girl"…..

Men very rarely complain about the faulty women in their past on their online profiles. Men are more positive. Women tend to whine and describe what they DON'T want in a man.

[Reply]
KP

I'm sorry but your example. A does not sound like a very nice woman to me. And from what I've learnt guys really dont like sarcastic women. From what men have told me they like women who are straight forward and too the point. Realism however may be a better trait. Cheers. N.Z

[Reply]
practicalhappiness.c Reply:
August 31st, 2011 at 1:22 pm
There are different degrees of sarcasm – form entertaining and fun to overly cynical and depressing. The first one can easily go with being straightforward and fun, while the latter is likely to be an unattractive quality.

[Reply]
jules

People need to stop being so ignorant. Feminism just means people who are fighting against discrimination based on gender, female gender, over half the population. It is as if blacks would've chosen a term for their discrimination fight, it would've been blackists. The problem is that many of these terms also have ending sounds similar to "ageist" "racist" "sexist" so uneducated people automatically give it a wrong meaning.

Look it up in the dictionary please.

Ignorant, uneducated, and male chauvinististic people misuse the term constantly. They think it means a really evil female. People, educate yourselves and your vocabulary.

[Reply]
Anonymous Reply:
March 29th, 2013 at 9:34 pm
Amen sis.

[Reply]
Christian J.

Any female laying claim to remotely being a feminist is automatically dumped and ignored. It's bad enough that we have female "male imitators" that feminists have encouraged and promoted. The term feminist is the only red flag I need to end the conversation..

Feminism is a male hate movement, need I say any more..

[Reply]
Anonymous Reply:
March 29th, 2013 at 9:32 pm
No. no. You are done with me. I would dump you and ignore you immediately, that is how strong sexy women you cannot handle deal with male chauvinists.

[Reply]
Rachel

Men are shallow the only thing they are interested in is a nice photo. I know this I wrote two profiles very dry same written content. But one had a photo of someone who was about average the other had the photo of an attractive women. Guess what the attractive women got told how interesting her dry profile was. Whereas the average women got virtually no response.

[Reply]
so very much true

as a straight man, doing the on line dating thing is very hard. you really do not know about the person that you are talking too. it is very scary, but it seems the women that i have talked to play games and it is hard to have a conversation with them. i have heard a lot of horror stories about on line dating. the best way to meet women is to be introduced to them, through a friend. i go out a lot and always seem to meet women that are very nasty, and have a very bad attitude as well. many of them are real basket cases, and not worth meeting at all.

[Reply]
Tess

Not all girls are like this “so very much true” we also have these concern’s about men

[Reply]
L.

I don't see anything wrong with a woman stating that she wants a financially secure guy…..after all, for many of us, its a requirement!!!…..Am yet to meet a woman who says she's looking to shack up with a broke a$$ guy!…..To me, she appears very candid and honest and I'd much rather that, than pretend that I couldn't care less about material things, when to most of us, that really matters!…..Don't ask women to lie about what they want. They should be confident enough to ask for what they want and be ok with getting it.

[Reply]
Eugene

100% agree with Rachel: “Men are shallow the only thing they are interested in is a nice photo.”
From my, guy, perspective: Photo is first, description is second. It doesn’t matter how well woman’s profile versed. If I don’t like the photo at the first place I close it and move to next one.
Serious guys though will read every word, and write a “deep” reply message.

[Reply]
http://match.com Kathy

I think the deep reply messages are a cut and paste job. How can someone bear the soul via email??

[Reply]
Chris

So few bother because they dont have to. Especially when it comes to sites attached to facebook.

Both Zoosk and Are You Interested have a huge database of profiles, all with form letter 'chat' responses, invariably saying 'im sorry im not a member and dont have a facebook profile, please email me at…. *@yahoo.com

Report any of these profiles to the tech support people for both of those, and you will find your profile deleted within 5 minutes.

These sites, are a scam, preying on desperate and dateless men, and they are actually getting more sophisticated. In the case of AYI by Snap Interactive, all of those profiles, actually claim to be located in random towns nearby to you, in my case, i will still get a ton of 'matches' from women in Victoria, Australia, but they are invariably people from various places, that are paid to set up profiles and have limited interaction with the people that get sucked in by them. But because it only affects men, this is perfectly legal.

[Reply]

Share this: