Actual Examples of Good and Bad Female Dating Profiles

good dating profiles examplesIt is unfortunate that so many people join dating sites but so few put a fair effort into writing a really good profile that makes them stand out from thousands of other users. I am not sure why people go through the trouble of signing up and filling all those questionnaires and then post a profile that looks like a copy of any other neutral, boring, profile full of cliches and types.

What makes any female dating profile great is the fact that it stands out from the rest of the profiles on any given online dating site. It doesn’t blend in. It’s not generic, neutral and overly politically correct. It doesn’t describe you with overused adjectives such as “intelligent, compassionate, educated, and independent” and it is free of boring statements that say nothing such as “I am as comfortable staying in as staying out.”

Rather than continue describing what a good profile is, I want to bring to your attention real examples of three actual dating profiles from on popular site that I rated for content. I commented in parentheses throughout the profiles below what I thought of them and why:

Example Dating Profile #1: Grade C+

I gave this profile a passing grade because while it’s not great, nothing about it makes it terrible.

“I have been in the ——- area for a few years now and always looking to meet new people. (This first sentence says nothing eye-catching about the woman and is very bland, and boring). I am a very hard worker and love my job. I work a lot, but I know how to balance well. I enjoy
meeting new people and going to new places. (still, nothing thought provoking or attractive) I am very spontaneous and I love the outdoors, watching movies, dancing, and traveling. (Another cliché statement that is being used by thousands of other women) A great date can be staying at home with a movie and popcorn, or a night on the town. (This statement has no purpose whatsoever). I made myself a promise a few years ago to take a vacation somewhere new, out of state, every year. I have not been disappointed yet. I would really love to see Europe. (Finally something somewhat interesting that she says about herself).

Well, that is a little about me if you are interested say
hello and we will chat. Talk to you soon!!”
***********************

Profile #2: Grade: B

This profile gets a higher grade because it reflects on the writer’s character and her personality. It’s a bit negative and has a few red flags but other than that – it’s not bad!

“100% Italian, fun loving, affectionate young lady who knows what it takes to make a relationship work. Tired of meeting BOYS who tell me what I want to hear, make and break promises, and aren’t ready for something serious. (This woman is voicing her opinion and shows her personality early on. (Great move!))

You: Honest, mature, gentleman, emotionally, mentally, financially secure (“financially secure” is a bad move in a dating profile because it’s an immediate red flag to a guy that he might be dealing with a materialistic woman.) Knows how to treat a lady, ready for a long term
relationship (this would sound a bit too eager or even desperate to most guys. First, meet a guy, then decide what you want out of him). Please……mean what you say and say what you mean!!! (that’s a good statement).
I live on the East Coast and travel to West every week for work. Being in California 4 days/week gets lonely. (This would make the reader believe that she is not looking for anyone special, but just someone to kill time with and subdue her loneliness). I am looking to meet someone in the this area and see what happens! Relocating for the right person is definitely an option. First date….not sure!!! I am willing to entertain any reasonable offer. 🙂 (good, funny, statement that shows personality and sense of humor, she should have used more of this kind of words throughout her profile). ”

*******************************

Profile #3 : Grade: A

This is one great dating profile. It consists a number of thought provoking statements right from the beginning that show a woman’s great personality and sense of humor. It’s eloquently written, it’s concise, straight and to the point! It is free of fluff and very compelling for a guy who can appreciate this type of no-nonsense attitude in a person:

“I don’t like most guys, but… I am not interested in most guys and besides perhaps that what makes those few unique individuals that I do connect with all more special. (Great, thought provoking opener that shows a woman’s engaging personality. Myself – restless, analytical, and opinionated. I am not offended by a dirty joke and can dish out one of my own. I am independent but far from being a feminist. Sarcasm is a spice of life, so bring it on. (Guys really, really like to hear that). Timeless books and movies that make you wonder for days about whose side you are on put great flavor into many of my evenings. What’s your story? What are you greatest pet-peeves and what makes you weak in your knees from joy and happiness.”

Profile #4: Grade A+ 

This last profile below gets the highest great for both the content and the creativity. It almost sounds like a poem. What I particularly like about this profile is that it shows that a woman hasn’t lost faith in true love and romance but at the same time she is also realistic. The ending of it might sound a bit on a more desperate side, but all in all – maybe it’s not such a terrible thing to sound a bit desperate for love and connection if that’s how you really feel.

“I don’t know if the world is going to run forever, but I know I’m not going to be around forever!
I don’t know if I will finally meet you to warm my heart and join for a better, happier journey, but I know I can’t stop looking for you, and can’t stop calling you in my heart…
I also don’t know what life holds for me tomorrow, but I do know that we can only get older and I feel safer to get old with you. Someone to remember the days with, and to grow with.
All profiles repeat the same. Everyone is crying out to say how good they are, how cool they are, how fun they are. But how real are you, and how content are you with your real you? I’m tired of the lies, of the fakes…I want someone real! I want my “best friend”, I think this says it all!
Maybe it’s about the right time, right place, right person… can online dating be any good? We’ll see :)”

Use the above profiles as an inspiration for your own dating profile to make it more creative and more interesting. Remember, quality single guys that you are looking to meet are more picky than others. Many of them are looking for a special connection with a special woman. If you know how to and are able to communicate through your dating profile that you are not just another average girl, it will significantly increase your chances of meeting better and more interesting men online.

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  • Thanks for your thoughts. I don’t know if we can assume that just become a woman says she likes to travel, she expects a guy to pay for everything. If that’s the case, then it’s terrible and no guy should allow to be taken advantage that way unless he does this knowingly. But… if a woman says she likes to travel because she really does and she also wants to sound like an interesting person who is into broadening her horizons, then it’s a different matter.

  • UVM ’93

    I disagree. Not everyone loves to travel. I, for example, don’t particularly like it that much, especially air travel. I find it a giant hassle, overpriced, and exhausting. And I speak from experience. I’ve been to 32 states and nine countries. I used to travel a lot more when I was younger because it’s inferred living in American society that it’s something you’re supposed to do to “better yourself.” I don’t regret that I did it then, but I’ve largely had enough and don’t really need to spend my free time and money seeing the world anymore.

    I’d much rather spend my leisure time closer to home doing something relaxing. I might be in a minority on this, but I don’t think it’s a tiny minority. I know plenty of other people who feel the same way.

    I agree that red flags go up for me when I see women who make a point of emphasizing that they love to travel. I’m not going to be quite as cynical and negative as some of the other comments and say these women are all parasitic gold diggers, but there is some element of truth to it. Despite the general acceptance of feminist equality in terms of the workplace and legal rights, I’ve found the majority of women want to have their cake and eat it to when it comes to the financial aspects of dating. Both my own anecdotal evidence and surveys I’ve read indicate that even professional women expect men to pay for almost everything. They say they find men who don’t pay for their dates in entirety to be a turn off. This makes no sense to me. It made sense in the 1950s when most women didn’t work full-time and those who did made far less than men. I understand there’s still a salary gap, but that doesn’t mean a woman who has a decent full-time job can’t afford to pay her own share of dinners and trips. I’ve been on over two hundred dates in my post-divorce life and I can count on one hand the number of times my date made even a half-hearted offer to split the bill.

    It’s not that I’m cheap, but this sends a message that women only want to be independent on their own terms but not when it comes to paying their own way. It genuinely feels like most women see men as walking ATM machines to take them out to drinks and dinners and buy them things. And, seeing “I love to travel” really comes across as code for “I want to go on lots of trips and expect you to pay for them.”

  • UVM ’93

    Also, the others thing I would add to this list is, don’t post pictures of your kids! If you have kids, say so in your profile, but please, for the love of God, don’t post pictures of them! First, I don’t want to date your kids so I don’t care what they look like. Second, are you trying to attract pedophiles? What’s your end game by posting pics of your kids? Third, as a parent, I know that my kids would be HORRFIED if they found out there were pictures of them on one of their parents’ dating profiles. I highly doubt any of the parents who post pics of their kids on their profiles have asked their kids’ permission to do so, so it just smacks of exploiting your kids without their permission.

    While I’m at it, I would add don’t say “my kids are my world,” “my kids come first,” etc. Just like coachj said about hookups, don’t state the obvious that your kids come first. Anyone who doesn’t get this isn’t your target demographic anyway, and by stating it overtly, you’re wasting space at best and looking like you’re compensating for some insecurity about not actually being a good parent at worst. As to “my kids are my world” – is that really the message you want to send? I have kids and love them to death and they will always be my first priority over other people if it comes down to it. But, they’re not my whole world. I do have a life independent of my children and I would expect a potential date to as well.

  • UVM ’93

    This. Couldn’t agree more with everything you say. You nailed it far better than the original post, with which I disagree on a number of counts. This should be the primer women have to read before signing up for every online dating site/app. Well done.

  • Qudsia Mall

    This is pure gold coach J

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  • Masalena Taylor

    This was awesome! CoachJ, thank you. I am doing a little research before I make the decision to sign up for a dating site. Your information and the original post was extremely helpful.

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  • You WIN the internet today sir. This was fantastic. Better than the original post almost lol.

  • Thanks a lot for these suggestions. I will be sure to make a list of these topics and include them in the future videos really soon.

  • Christine

    Agreed, some great topics. There is also the issues of “readiness”, how to deal with rejection, how to communicate effectively when meeting in person, ie. what to say and what not to discuss during the first meeting. (I’ve met a number of men who rant about their ex. I’m sure women are guilty of this too.)

    I will subscribe to your youtube channel. Looking forward to it.

  • It’s true to an extent but you can’t automatically assume that just because someone says she likes to travel, she is materialistic. First, who doesn’t like to travel? We all do. Secondly, this doesn’t mean that she expects you to pay for everything or for her share. Lastly, there are different types of travel – some are very costly, while others don’t require that much money. Not every vacation requires a 10 hour flight and a luxury hotel. A quick getaway in a car for a night or two can also be considered a getaway.

  • I very much appreciate these ideas and will get to work shortly. Be sure to subscribe to my youtube channel to be notified of new videos on these topics.

  • coachj

    the other aspect of this what happens beyond the profile. Having the perspective of women’s/men’s experience in dealing with online women once connection has been made. How to transition to meeting face-to-face. How to deal respectfully with someone you aren’t interested in after meeting. These are all important aspects that don’t get discussed.

  • Thanks, Christine. Sounds great. Any contribution is welcome. Also, if you have any request or ideas for future topics to cover in articles or videos, I welcome those as well.

  • Christine

    PracticalH, I apologize. My words weren’t that kind and here I was complaining about others. Geez. Yes, I’d be happy to share. You created a great thread with your article since it certainly is getting a lot of traction even after posting it well over 5 years ago I gather from the dates on the comments below.

  • Thanks for this great contribution. Cliché lines and cliché pictures (incl yoga poses, Eiffel tower type pictures, selfies, etc..) are some of my major personal pet peeves. I am still puzzled as to why these things are so common. I suppose so many people assume it’s ok to write and post those things because everyone else does, and they even bother to independently consider how lame these things are.

  • Thanks for your kind words. Maybe it’s time I searched for examples of even better profiles. It’s not that easy but probably worth the effort. I will get to work right away. If you have any samples, feel free to share and I would be happy to incorporate into this posting, so that everyone can benefit.

  • Christine

    Coachj – I was happy to read your post particularly after reading some others. You’ve given some great advice which is useful and will help me with my profile. Thank you.

    As for the examples above…. my google search brought me here. I find all of them, even profile A, weak and uninteresting. I know there are better examples out there.

  • coachj

    As an actual and real divorced male in my late 40’s, here is my perspective on women’s profiles:

    BE REAL:

    Far too many women feel it is necessary to project themselves in a manner that could ‘capture’ as many interests as possible. This is a mistake because you aren’t telling anyone anything real about you. Being concerned about the volume of activity only guarantees that most of the men who contact you will not be close enough to a match to bother with. Be real with yourself, and then real with your profile. By eliminating 95% of the men that aren’t your cup-o-tea, you cut out a lot of aggravation.

    GET TO THE POINT:

    Everyone thinks they are fun, positive, enlightened, funny, sweet, kind, compassionate, romantic, generous, loving, etc., or their ‘friends’ see them that way. Everyone believes they have a great sense of humor and wants someone to make them laugh. Whatever. Skip all that crap. It is a waste of air.

    Skip telling men that you are not interested in hookups. The fact of the matter is that you are going to get a lot of crude messages. Deal with it by ignoring them. Few women are interested in hookups, and if they are, they can write that. Why bother wasting your character count by addressing the obvious.

    Instead, get to the root of who you are and what are looking for. If you are a Conservative or Liberal, then say it upfront. If religion is important to you, say it. If you need someone to be taller, tell them. If there are things you consider ‘deal-breakers’, then you should say it. Who cares what someone thinks of you if they are not a match? The point is, get to the point about the things that are most important to you right off the bat.

    ENOUGH WITH THE HOT YOGA

    Did you know that yoga is not a hobby? Did you know that wine is not a hobby? Sure, you may really like both, but men don’t give a shit. Seriously. We care that you are fit. We want to know what your interests are. But when 99% of the women say they like “yoga/pilates, wine, travel, laughter, and a real man who know how to treat a lady”, you simply aren’t being a real person. If you like to work out, and it is something that you expect a partner to join you with, then say it. If it is something you like but don’t care if they do or not, then say it. Just be real about how you like to spend your days and don’t…. OVERSELL IT.

    AVOID OVERSELLING

    Granted, we live in a world of Facebook and Instagram, where everyone is interesting, spontaneous and ‘lives life to the fullest’. Everyone is brimming with positivity, and wants to be with someone like that. Everyone wants laugh all the time. We all are super fit and eat super healthy – except that we also enjoy an indulgence every now and then. We all want to fulfill our ‘bucket lists’ and do exciting thins and travel the world. Many women are looking for their Unicorn.

    Get over it already. When you oversell yourself as the greatest thing since sliced bread, or are looking for such, you are basically screaming that you are a very flawed person who has to convince themselves that they are not flawed. You absolutely do not have to mention your flaws, but don’t oversell your traits. In fact, stick to what you are looking for in a mate rather than trying to sell yourself to someone. After all, this is about you selecting someone, not you selling yourself online.

    A PICTURE IS A THOUSAND WORDS:

    First, it goes without saying that terrible pictures are a bad move. Take a well-lit picture that is not in your car, in your bathroom mirror, off the full length mirror in your hallway, in the nightclub or anywhere else that makes you look bad.

    If you are a partier, then use pictures of you drinking. Otherwise, don’t put up 12 pictures of yourself where you are drinking in 10 of them.

    We understand that you want us to be impressed with your pull-ups, your dead lifts, and your toned shoulder muscles. Your Yoga pose where you hold one leg near your head is awesome – just as awesome as every other woman who includes that picture in her profile. While we are certainly body conscious, men don’t really care about what you are doing to get there. We just like the results. Stop posting pictures of your exploits. You just come across like someone who needs external affirmation far too much for our comforts.

    The 27 pictures of you at different sights around the globe, the 15 pictures of you doing every extreme sport in the world, and all of the amazing pictures of you with your three best girlfriends… We can do without these. I get you think you are impressing us with your worldliness, but it comes across the wrong way. I get that you are daring and the most interesting woman in the world, but somehow I find it hard to believe that you live your life that way considering you have 3 kids. Either you are a terrible parent or you are overselling your level of excitement for life. Tone it down.

    The reality is, men want to see two things: Your body and your face. Let me be more clear:

    FACE – We want to see a picture of your face without being overly made up, with a smile, and not a grainy, unclear photo with bad lighting. I might stress the ‘overly-made-up’ part. We don’t want to see duck face, weird angles, or funny snapchat filters. We don’t need pouty, moody or other types of expressions – just a smile. And you should include at least two different face pictures that were taken at different times, but taken within the last month.

    Body – Again, it is nice to see you in your Yoga pose, or standing in front of some amazing scenery. However, is you take up only 5% of the photo, we cannot really see you. If you are wearing ugly baggy clothes, we cannot see you. We want to know what to expect when we see you. Show us a full body picture where you can actually see your whole body. Avoid using too many pictures with your friends. Sure, you are super popular, but often times we cannot tell who is who.

    Here are some other helpful hints: Try not to include pictures of you and other men. Seriously, far too many do this. Nobody needs to see a picture of your pets AT ALL!!!!. If you a nice picture of YOU and your pet – where we can actually see you – then OK. Otherwise, DON’T! If you have 17 photos of you that ALL look like they are out of a catalog, we will assume you are fake, or a hooker. Take real pictures. If you have one or two professional photos, OK. But include some non-professional photos.

  • Prasenjit Saha

    I like feminist in u

  • Steve H

    OK Ladies, I am going to give you a male’s perspective: Most guys dont want to know how successful you are or how spontaneous you are. They definitively dont want to know you if you are sarcastic. Most guys want girls who are feminine, nice and sexy. If we want interesting conversation, we can hang out with our buddies. Why not make it sound like you are easy to get to know? We dont like jumping through hoops trying impress. Just keep it simple and sweet.

  • There is nothing wrong with mentioning that you are independent, except that it’s one of those words that are so overused and so cliche these days that they do nothing to impress the reader. The same applies to traveling but to a lesser extent. After all, everyone likes to travel and eat.

  • Being a feminist is not necessary a bad thing but the word carries a negative connotation and it’s simply not necessary to include in the profile, as noted above.

  • Andrea Cason

    So… being a feminist is a bad thing? Give me a break…

  • songnverse

    Oh man, these comments are so confusing, no to mention eye-opening. I’m not really in the dating world, so I am very surprised at how the sexes view each other. But maybe this is why I don’t get many messages on my profile. I am independent, but I’m 37. What else am I supposed to be? That doesn’t make me a feminist or off-putting in any way. I also LOVE to travel. But I am not “into” money. I’m so surprised that some men feel that way. I never knew this! I do love traveling, but I am also entirely frugal. I spent a month in Europe at hostels and friend’s houses. So, I really don’t understand any of this at all. I came here to look up profile advice and I’m more perplexed than ever. haha 🙂

  • New_jersey_wisdom

    Lmao ouch I wouldve been this MAD too if i caught my partner getting it on, on my bed.

  • Kate Farrow

    I know, what an idiot, his posts have given me real good belly laughs, what a pratt!

  • Bain Dramaged

    That’s the best “A” profile you could find? She sounds as fun as watching Tom Hardy murder your son while you recover from life threatening bear attack injuries. Plus she has the writing style of an alien who has only recently learned the language. Terrible.

  • nomi

    go find yourself russian mail order bride, matem they’re not like this 🙂

  • Anna Chilton

    ‘men allowed women to work’ brilliant!

  • Anne

    The “A” profile is not good. You’re really going to start with saying “I don’t like most guys?” Seems way too negative for an opener. I know if I came across a guy’s profile that said “I don’t like most girls,” I would be put off. It’s not well-written, either, and doesn’t make much sense. The others are pretty bad too. First one is boring (but actually the best out of the three in my opinion), second one comes on a little strong and I imagine would scare guys off. My theory on profiles is that you want to put just the basic info and show just a little of your personality and what you’re looking for. It’s nearly impossible to encapsulate who you are in just a paragraph, and in my experience, men don’t really care to read it. A flattering picture is far more important. People, especially men, are shallower than a puddle. But even for men’s profiles, this advice applies. Keep it short and to the point and use a good profile pic. Oh, and AVOID CLICHES at all costs.

  • Insidious Sid

    Once you realize women are parasites looking for fatter and fatter hosts, and are driven by biological imperatives that make them say they want “good guys” but they end up sleeping with the dregs of society…. well, then all this stuff starts to make a whole lot of sense. Sadly, most of female behavior, when you strip away motherhood and the “pretty fun sexy parts”, is pretty deplorable. Sure, men can be deplorable too. But we’ve been called pigs since the first bras was burned. It’s time to see the female side of pig – oh wait, we’ve always seen it. We just never set out to demonize the opposite sex and blame them for everything like women have.

  • blogman

    Practicalh,

    I appreciate the apology.

    Will reply below.

    Travel – A man can spare a few hundred dollars to go on a short trip. However that’s not the point. The point is that whist the word travel does not have a direct correlation to narcissism (fancy cars, jewellery etc) it still opens the question. For evidence you only have to look at the post above from Joe “anytime See a profile thats even remotely mentions Travel I nix the girl.” As mentioned in my previous post. If you want to add it in then be sure to set limits eg. “I like to travel once or twice a year when I get time off. Nothing too fancy just relaxing at a local resort to give me a breath of fresh air.” Men will automatically assume that “travel” means expensive trips on a regular basis simply because the majority of women in today’s society exhibit narcissistic behaviour fuelled by third wave feminism.

    Slightly off topic but you don’t need to look far for an example of third wave feminism. Take a look at this ridiculous add released by Pantene. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rzL-vdQ3ObA where a women leaves her husband out in the cold because she’s “not sorry.”

    Compromise – of course there is a middle ground. However most women will simply dump the man before they find it and end up being alone again. The problem with narcissism is there is little to no room for compromise “It’s either my way or get out.” For women reading this, I would also like to highlight that they can only reproduce between the ages 18 -30 without increasing their risk of complications. Men however can reproduce into their 60s. On top of that men only need to exert 30% of their labour to live comfortable lives. The rest is pure profit. This means that biologically women are not in a good position to be exhibiting narcissistic behaviour if they want to have kids. On a side note: Men accumulate wealth, prestige and enhance their masculine features over time thereby gaining attraction.

    Art- Then we agree that it should not be added in unless a women really cares for it. Furthermore I’d like to add that it is more likely for a pickup artist to do a quick search on the phrase and then come up with some non-genuine back story to seem more sophisticated. Then we go back to the common “Where have all the good men gone” complaint.

    “Women look for men who are above average” – I would firstly like to point out that all men have unlimited potential and you shouldn’t be judging a book by its cover. These so called “nice guys” or “average guys” are actually the most genuine guys you will find. The mechanic, the IT nerd, the furniture removalist. All of them work their ass off to make a living. Yes they don’t always know the right things to say or how to act when confronted by a beautiful woman but have you ever actually seen them when they are in their own comfort zone? Watch how confidently the mechanic fixes the vehicle with only a quick look under the bonnet. Watch as the removalist moves a large piece of furniture which originally seemed impossible. Gaze at the IT guy who fixes multiple computers like clockwork. Then look at the smiles on their client’s faces due to their exceptional service. These are men with real ambition and show true masculinity. They will progress to bigger and better things over time. They are confident, intelligent, very hard working and demonstrate many of the desirable traits that women want. But because of their failure to say some amazing opening line, they will forever categorized as “average,” below average,” or “nice guys.” As stated above, this is biologically a woman’s loss. Not the loss of a male. Furthermore if the woman is not established herself then why should she deserve a man who is? Women need to stop trying to find guys with a 250K salary when they only make 25k. What women should be doing is finding men who are in similar positions and accumulating wealth over time with them. My point is that women need to seriously consider lowering their expectations if they want to be in happy relationships.

    “A profile would not be a reliable indicator if a woman has it in her.” – This article is about what women should say on their profile. As a male, I am recommending that if she does hold some traditional views (enjoys cooking and is willing to clean) then she should clearly state them on her profile as these traits will be highly desirable to males. It will also change her original persona from the usual narcissistic woman to a “nice girl with traditional views.”

    Take a look at the following video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PwDj9GmcLBE which clearly indicates that woman have become less happy since the feminist movement. As stated in my previous post. Gender roles are very important and women who still hold traditional views should be embracing it, not apologising for it. It is arguably the most valuable trait in maintaining a long term happy relationship.

    Cliché – Fact, guys don’t care about clichés on a female’s profile. Unlike women who deflect hundreds of cliche pickup lines, men don’t have that problem. What we see is a short succinct statement that clearly defines what type of girl she is. You can always expand on it if you think it’s so bad. eg. “I generally prefer to stay indoors reading books and watching TV. On occasion I also enjoy outdoor activities such as going to theme parks, camping and going to the beach.”

  • Mr. Blogman,

    I did not mean to shame and and my apologies if it came across that way. What I meant to say is that if a man cannot spare a few hundred dollars on a short trip without making it extravagant, he probably has other life problems that he needs to deal with which are at least as urgent or more urgent than dating profiles, such as career, school, finding a job, etc… God knows how many financial issues I had to overcome, so I can relate to anyone who struggles, since it hasn’t been that long for me. Still, I am convinced that the reason women mention travel has nothing to do with looking for a rich guy. If a woman were to talk about expensive dinners, fancy cars, jewelry, yes, but not travel. In any event, if you have a decent career and work hard, taking short trips every now and then should not be an issue and hopefully you do it because you also enjoy that as few things are more fun and provide better relief from the mundane than exploring new places with a friend, or significant other or whoever. Again, you don’t have to splurge all our money on trips. I myself could never understand who blow all their money on around the world trips. To me – a trip is most fun when it’s a reward for a few months of hard work, and since college, I have not been on a longer trip than 12-14 days. Above all, even if a woman says that she likes taking trips – who cares? You are not going to go with anyone anywhere until you see each other for at least a few months and only if and when you know you like each other enough to make it worth it, so this shouldn’t even be an immediate issue.

    The point I am trying to make is as simple as it is important. There are two extreme approaches – walking on eggshells, agreeing with everything a girl says and being super sweet v being extremely argumentative, sarcastic, and challenging a woman on anything and everything. Why not find a middle ground between the two extremes?

    Sure, most men are not into art. My suggestions were mostly geared toward those women who look for men who are above the average and who are not run of the mill average Joe from those women’s perspective. I would hope that there are enough men out there who are above that line – who are interested in art, philosophy, etc. This is extremely subjective of course, and there are plenty of girls who don’t care for it.

    You will find out whether a woman you met belongs to that tiny remaining % of traditional women by her views and behavior. Most of them are not going to say in their profile that they like to hang out in the kitchen and cook and clean, even if that’s the case. A profile would not be a reliable indicator if a woman has it in her.

    There is nothing wrong with being outdoorsy and liking being indoors too except the statement itself is beyond cliche and overused. It’s like saying “I like to work hard and play hard” or “I am as comfortable in jeans as I am in a dress”. It has been said way too many times before by way too many people.

  • blogman

    Practicalh,

    Firstly I would like to thank you for fully reading my post.

    Will answer your points below.

    1. Travel = money. This is a fact.

    Playing the “YOU might have more serious financial
    issues that need to be addressed” is an underhanded shaming tactic which
    attempts to underpin the truth as well as undermine me at a personal level.

    I would encourage you to reframe from using such tactics in
    future as it is nothing more than nonsensical blabba. You could have easily
    rephrased that into a legitimate question, for example “if men can’t afford to
    take a trip every once in a while then does that mean they are having serious
    financial issues?”

    In which case I would have replied: travel costs money, by
    just saying travel you are not explaining the extent. If you really want to
    keep it then you should explain the extent. eg. “I like to travel once or twice
    a year when I get time off. Nothing too fancy just relaxing at a local resort
    to give me a breath of fresh air.” Now that the travel expense is measureable
    he can say “Ok I should therefore look at setting aside xxx amount of money for
    trips each year if I want to pursue her.”

    I will also answer your original question. Yes I am over the
    age of 20 and no I do not have financial issues. In fact I am very well off and
    hold a solid career. Why? Because I don’t go out and splurge all of my money on
    world trips. I work very hard and understand/appreciate the value of money.

    Most women don’t pay their own way and whilst there are some
    exceptions, the exception should never be taken as the example. Furthermore
    even if they did use their own money, there is a high probability that they are
    not saving much (refer to my points about saving up for a house).

    “Women talk about traveling for the same reason that guys
    try to come across as Indian Jones.” You are proving my point of its irrelevance.
    Since men put that in to attract women and women put that in to attract men when
    either side don’t actually care too much about it then then it is nothing more
    than a waste of words that can easily be misinterpreted.

    2. I don’t understand the point you are trying to make? There
    are certainly exceptions however as stated above the exception should not be
    taken as the example.

    3. Real Art – Most men don’t care about art, on top of that
    many of those men that seem to care only do it to attract women. Most of them will
    look at this statement and think “she seems to be into art and other philosophical
    stuff, I think I’ll move on as I know nothing about it.” Unless you are
    specifically after a man with an appreciation for art leave it off.

    4. Traditional roles – exactly
    right, that is why I rephrased it to “like to cook and don’t mind taking care
    of the house hold.” By saying “don’t mind” you are showing that household
    chores are not below you. It does not mean that you enjoy doing it. A man will
    however very much appreciate the fact that you are willing to do it and will
    offer to help out when he has time. Furthermore, it is a very sad thing that
    many women these days think that cooking and cleaning is a bad thing. I
    recently read a profile where a woman was apologising for being submissive and liking
    to cook and clean (“don’t judge me but …”). When in reality they are the most desirable
    traits that a man could want. Men allowed women to work so that they could earn
    income to support their families during rough times. It was not setup so that
    they could abandon their original roles as loving, caring and nurturing mothers
    and switch gender roles. Again I would strongly urge women reading this to
    leave it in if you can.

    Indoorsy but likes to go out – This is
    important. If you say I am outdoorsy but enjoy staying in as well, it means
    that you are a more outgoing person (introvert vs extrovert). I personally prefer a woman who is more of an
    introvert (reads books, stays indoors, watches tv etc) opposed to outdoorsy (going
    hiking, is into health and fitness, always on the go). I’m confident that there
    are better ways to express the above points, however this is just a quick
    example. Again keep this in or change it to reflect the above points.

    Hope this provides you with some
    clarification.

  • Joe B

    Anytime See a profile thats even remotely mentions Travel I nix the girl, Travel, fine things, champagne, looking for professional, They are all code words for $$$MONEY$$$ , the girl is looking for donald trump and thinks shes all that. For somereason american girls have this attitude their shit doesnt stink and we as men should be happy to wipe their ass every time they shit. This is our fault we’ve let this domestic violence bullshit get out of hand in this country every women is abused and nothing is good ebough for any of them, ok theres still a few good ones out there but you get my point, if you dont take care of them in a lap of luxury your an abuser and god help if you marry one of these psychos like i did, first thing out of her mouth when she got caught with another guy , on her back with her legs pinned behind her ears like bugs bunny, was he’s an abuser. Beware gentlemen read betweeb the lines and dont ever get married in the usa again til this shit changes, 27 yrs of marriage and 2+yrs in divorce has taught me this, anerican women are all screwed up, they want eaquality but tye second something doesnt go their way or they get caught having an affair, they rip open the top and that skirt flies up and its look look see see i got tits and a gash, ima a girl no more equality im a girl and i expect special treatment because i have a saggy pair a tits and this here gash, and if you dont treat me special ill cry foul because im a girl!

  • Hello. The profiles on the original posting are good.

    1. Traveling doesn’t have to be expensive and many women today can pay their own way. By traveling, people don’t necessarily mean flying first class and staying at expensive hotels. And if you can’t afford taking short trips every now and then (and presumable you are over 20), then you might have more serious financial issues that need to be addressed.

    2. There is plenty of space between the two extremes of being non-genuine and feeding women the bs they want to hear to get laid and being an asshole.

    3. Many people know that by timeless books and movies you mean real art. It’s not necessary to list what these books and movies are although it can be useful, especially if the reader recognizes and also likes the same.

    I am all in favor of the more traditional roles and I am not a fan at all of feminism. Having said that, I am realistic enough to know that no woman is going to say in her profiles that she likes to “cook and clean”, even if she doesn’t mind doing those things and she is traditional herself. That’s just not something that women write. Well, many girls would say that they like cooking, but cleaning… That’s really a lot to expect from a profile.

    Indoorsy but likes to go out is all good but it’s so cliche and overused. Every other person puts that in her profile.

    Talking about traveling is annoying indeed, but the reason women do it is NOT because they are high maintenance or expect guys to pay. The main reason is that they are so eager to come across as exciting and adventurous. Women talk about traveling for the same reason that guys try to come across as Indian Jones but talking about their hiking, extreme sports, marathons, which I am sure is equally annoying to women.

  • blogman

    I actually don’t like any of those profiles.

    Below are my points of failures:

    1. like to Travel go on adventures – Sound very expensive, should I take it that you spend a lot of money (my money)?

    2. “Tired of meeting BOYS who tell me what I want to hear” – ok so now you want a guy who treats you like crap on top of that you have been in a lot of relationships and have not found happiness. seems like a lot of effort for little return.

    3. “ready for a long term relationship” you may deter a jerk with this, not a genuine guy so I would recommend keeping it.

    4. “Timeless books and movies that make you wonder for days about whose side you are on put great flavor into many of my evenings.” – wtf does this even mean? you haven’t listed any books or movies so its a just useless statement that seems illogical.

    My Female would be something like this (you may call me a misogynistic, chauvinistic pig if it makes you feel better):

    Hi my name is xyz, I like to cook and don’t mind taking care of the house hold. One of the best dishes I make is (any dish)

    I currently work full time as a (nurturing role/student studying a nurturing role eg nurse, teacher, childcare).

    Whist I am mostly indoorsy I also enjoy outdoor activities such as going to theme parks as well as movies and dinners.

    I am looking for a long term relationship with a genuinely nice guy who is loving, caring, committed and puts me first on his list as I will be doing the the same for him (geeky and nerdy guys especially).

    I am also saving up to buy a house in the next few years (because I don’t like paying rent (dont like paying someone elses mortgage haha)OR I am living with my parents).

    Why I like the profile above:

    1. like to cook and clean – Gender roles are important – willingness to cook and clean is a must for a good long term relationship.

    Advice: Don’t believe all this girl power BS that feminists are feeding you. Do you honestly believe that a man would want to do 40 – 60 hrs of hard labour a week and then come home to do more chores? Don’t be one of those girls that trivialise hard work as “oh its his duty as a man.” If everything else (eg. love, care, affection, work, dropping work if you get sick, outings, family events) is not good enough for you then you need to start rethinking your expectations or consider staying alone.

    Even the most wealthy of men still get their wives to cook for them. Why? because its not just about the food, its the love that goes into making it. It’s the fact that the are willing to keep the place in order while they are working. Men really really appreciate this, yet its such rare trait to find in women these days.

    2. Showing that you work in a nurturing role means that you will be able to raise kids well. Furthermore these roles are generally not highly demanding, so you should be able to switch to part time should circumstances change. A genuine guy will not be financially dependant on you however the fact that you can hold a job also means that if he loses his you can both still be financially secure when times get tough(also shows you wont dump him if things go bad for a bit).

    3. “first on his list as I will be doing the the same” – You expect to be at the top of his list (as all women do), however the major difference is that you will be doing the same. Another rare and very desireable trait.

    3. geeky and nerdy guys = Geeks and nerds are generally the most financially stable, loving and caring guys around (socially awkward yes). Furthermore the fact that you are willing and even keen to date geeks shows that you are open minded and down to earth. Good looking, sporty, intelligent, rich guys will also be interested because you are now on an attainable playing field.

    Advice: One massive misconception is that superior men are after superior women. Whilst a level of superficial beauty is required, its the heart that counts. If you are a genuinely down to earth person. Then even a top executive CEO will be interested in the trivial things that occur in your daily life so long as your a passionate about it.

    4. Indoorsy but also likes to go out – Shows that you are low maintenance and have realistic expectations when it comes to having fun.

    I see sooo many women with travel travel travel in their profile. Only thing I see is expense and high maintenance. Guys do not care if you have or haven’t seen the world.

    5. Saving up to buy something shows that you are good with money. Too many women these days expect men to buy them stuff just because they are female(narcissistic behaviour). If you can’t value your own money how can you value someone else’s. Are you in it for the long run or just waiting for a divorce settlement?

    Hope this helps in some way.

    Cheers,

  • Stronger Than Dirt

    Agreed and duly noted. Women have been my saviours on a personal level – not men.

  • One of the things I learned is that there are always exceptions to any rule. I have been convinced that all women lawyers are fire spitting dragons, until I met a few female lawyers who struck me as extremely nice and feminine. It’s almost like some kind of higher force tries to prove me/us wrong every time we make some kind of absolute generalization.

  • Mickey

    You’re so right. Today’s mindset is the following:
    1) Women = Perfect
    2) Men = Evil

  • Stronger Than Dirt

    Misandry is not a wonderful thing – although many women seem to think so-…. any women employed in government for example, red flag, they are hotbeds of misandry.

  • The world of Star Trek has become a phenomenon, a lot of
    people are waiting and pre-loved the game, despite the fact that many things we did not see it.
    There is no limit to the designs and things you
    can make with paper mache, everything from pinata’s to
    masks, heads, baskets, and more. The wallpapers you choose should reflect
    your personality, to best describe your tastes and preferences.

  • SchadenfreudianSlipper

    “I don’t like most guys, but…” [Yours truly average male moves on to next profile…]

    “Sarcasm is a spice of life, so bring it on. (Guys really, really like to hear that).” Wanna bet that most of us really, really don’t? Frankly, sarcasm is today’s woman’s M.O., and is becoming as inuring as “Lives Life to the Fullest.”

    The root cause of contemporary egocentric dating-profile-writing is that it’s understandably similar to appealing to employers via job applications and resume-writing. Until the writer understands that without the advantage of brand-name recognition, it must be clear beyond a doubt what value can be obtained, or what kind of experiences can be enjoyed. A photo is a nice “feature,” but it’s what value you can describe about yourself that inspires an online dater to make the next move.

  • Good point. I like the formal definition of feminism, but let’s face it – perceptions, assumptions and connotations are important. They might just be more important that the real definition that few people even know. Any woman who calls herself a feminist is going to create a perception in the men’s eyes – a perception of someone to stay away from. Maybe it’s their fault for misunderstanding the term, but that doesn’t change the bottom line. The same would happen to a guy who discloses to a girl that he is a dating coach or that he has a dating blog. She immediately is going to assume that he is a player and he just uses women for information purposes. These assumptions are often completely false and unfounded. That I say from personal experience. 😉

  • I’m not that much of a internet reader to be honest but your sites really nice, keep it up!

    I'll go ahead and bookmark your website to come back later on. All the best

  • @ Holly Lots of good stuff, except I would remove few things that sound way too cliche to make the profile even better, i.e. "I live each day each day as if they are the last hours I shall live…" and "I choose to live each day as it comes letting it unfold into it’s natrual form, aiming for my fullest potential…". These kinds of statements are way overused, especially by women.

  • Holly

    I once did online experiments on pof the dating website.

    I didn't put much about myself, but I asked a question.

    What would you do if you only had 24 hours left to live? It was followed up with an A, B and C question, each with a different answer.

    Then I put my thoughts across saying that I live each day each day as if they are the last hours I shall live…

    ect, ect, ect.

    I wanted to make it fun and interesting with some positive statements based on my own way of thinking because if people are clever enough then they will think to read between the lines and read behind the meaning of what's been said.

    Of course life is subjective depending on who's veiwing it from the lens.

    By the same token it was presented as an opportunity for people to further explore it or to think of it in a fun light, so it was intended to be indirect communication of one element of my nature, but also for people to make their own minds up.

    I'd like to add that it was a spontaneous personal development experiment with many purposes.

    I plan to do more of this in the future.

    How does this sound:

    About me…

    I've got two eyes, a nose, an ear to the left and right side of my face, I've got a head full of hair and I can confidently say that I have a nice smile.

    Plus I have a good set of limbs and body parts you would expect to find in their right places.

    I won't be talking about what type of person as I life is perception so people will see different elements of my nature.

    If I had to sum myself up in one word I'd choose intricate.

    My positive thoughts of the moment are I choose to live each day as it comes letting it unfold into it's natrual form, aiming for my fullest potential…

    Interesting thought of the day: I trust in me 🙂 and because I trust in myself I know that everything will work out because I trust in myself to handle whatever life throws on my path.

    This is just a rough idea and of course I would put pictures up, but the indirect message of what I just wrote is:

    I determine my own worth and I'm happy for that matter. These are my positive thoughts and for others to conclude their own opinion, but whilst they are doing that I shall already be onto my next big important idea and I shall not be stopping from working towards the best version on myself.

    This is just one idea until I think of a better alternative or one is directed on my path 🙂

    I got sum of the idea from a Psychology student were his profile and message to me had an I'm flawed effect.

    What really counts is someone perceived perception and then people's minds are designed to fill in gaps and conclude a whole lots of positive reasons to why…

    It should be called the 'perceived alpha' effect.

  • Neal207

    If it's a given, then why even bother mentioning it? What does unnecessary revelation profit a woman…or a man?

  • Neal207

    This is not good advice for attracting men. It's good advice for a woman who wants to portray the de rigueur formula for touting what SHE sees as her qualities. As any psychologist worth his or her salt can tell you, people are not seen by others as they view themselves. What women SHOULD do, instead of just emptying their entire footlockers of traits, is to offer up what SHE can do for a relationship. That's what would attract men, who want to know the "BLUF." Bottom line up front. All the rest is frosting. (Unless a woman is going through the motions to impress her girlfriends and family members, and isn't REALLY interested in attracting a male partner, do NOT do what I've suggested.)

  • Anonymous

    That's because you are confused by what a feminist is all about. Feminism is a collection of movements and ideologies aimed at defining, establishing, and defending equal political, economic, and social rights for women. This includes seeking to establish equal opportunities for women in education and employment. Opinionated by definition means, holding stubbornly and often unreasonably to one's own opinions. It also means, intolerant, prejudiced, chauvinistic, dogmatic, arbitrary and so on. It's not a good word.

  • Anonymous

    Amen sis.

  • Anonymous

    No. no. You are done with me. I would dump you and ignore you immediately, that is how strong sexy women you cannot handle deal with male chauvinists.

  • Chris

    So few bother because they dont have to. Especially when it comes to sites attached to facebook.

    Both Zoosk and Are You Interested have a huge database of profiles, all with form letter 'chat' responses, invariably saying 'im sorry im not a member and dont have a facebook profile, please email me at…. *@yahoo.com

    Report any of these profiles to the tech support people for both of those, and you will find your profile deleted within 5 minutes.

    These sites, are a scam, preying on desperate and dateless men, and they are actually getting more sophisticated. In the case of AYI by Snap Interactive, all of those profiles, actually claim to be located in random towns nearby to you, in my case, i will still get a ton of 'matches' from women in Victoria, Australia, but they are invariably people from various places, that are paid to set up profiles and have limited interaction with the people that get sucked in by them. But because it only affects men, this is perfectly legal.

  • I think the deep reply messages are a cut and paste job. How can someone bear the soul via email??

  • Eugene

    100% agree with Rachel: “Men are shallow the only thing they are interested in is a nice photo.”
    From my, guy, perspective: Photo is first, description is second. It doesn’t matter how well woman’s profile versed. If I don’t like the photo at the first place I close it and move to next one.
    Serious guys though will read every word, and write a “deep” reply message.

  • L.

    I don't see anything wrong with a woman stating that she wants a financially secure guy…..after all, for many of us, its a requirement!!!…..Am yet to meet a woman who says she's looking to shack up with a broke a$$ guy!…..To me, she appears very candid and honest and I'd much rather that, than pretend that I couldn't care less about material things, when to most of us, that really matters!…..Don't ask women to lie about what they want. They should be confident enough to ask for what they want and be ok with getting it.

  • Tess

    Not all girls are like this “so very much true” we also have these concern’s about men 🙂

  • so very much true

    as a straight man, doing the on line dating thing is very hard. you really do not know about the person that you are talking too. it is very scary, but it seems the women that i have talked to play games and it is hard to have a conversation with them. i have heard a lot of horror stories about on line dating. the best way to meet women is to be introduced to them, through a friend. i go out a lot and always seem to meet women that are very nasty, and have a very bad attitude as well. many of them are real basket cases, and not worth meeting at all.

  • Rachel

    Men are shallow the only thing they are interested in is a nice photo. I know this I wrote two profiles very dry same written content. But one had a photo of someone who was about average the other had the photo of an attractive women. Guess what the attractive women got told how interesting her dry profile was. Whereas the average women got virtually no response.

  • Christian J.

    Any female laying claim to remotely being a feminist is automatically dumped and ignored. It's bad enough that we have female "male imitators" that feminists have encouraged and promoted. The term feminist is the only red flag I need to end the conversation..

    Feminism is a male hate movement, need I say any more..

  • jules

    People need to stop being so ignorant. Feminism just means people who are fighting against discrimination based on gender, female gender, over half the population. It is as if blacks would've chosen a term for their discrimination fight, it would've been blackists. The problem is that many of these terms also have ending sounds similar to "ageist" "racist" "sexist" so uneducated people automatically give it a wrong meaning.

    Look it up in the dictionary please.

    Ignorant, uneducated, and male chauvinististic people misuse the term constantly. They think it means a really evil female. People, educate yourselves and your vocabulary.

  • practicalhappiness.c

    There are different degrees of sarcasm – form entertaining and fun to overly cynical and depressing. The first one can easily go with being straightforward and fun, while the latter is likely to be an unattractive quality.

  • KP

    I'm sorry but your example. A does not sound like a very nice woman to me. And from what I've learnt guys really dont like sarcastic women. From what men have told me they like women who are straight forward and too the point. Realism however may be a better trait. Cheers. N.Z

  • Soosoo

    Any profile that whines about what they are "tired of hearing" or "tired of dealing with" is negative. How bout throwing in a sentence or two describing what YOU will bring into THE OTHER PERSON'S life. Not lamenting about how awful you've been treated in the past. After all, we all train others to treat us as they do. One of life's most bitter pills we all must, myself included.

    Get sick of women writing about BOYS they've dealt with in the past. It "ain't all the boy's fault." The "boy" was probably dealing with a "girl"…..

    Men very rarely complain about the faulty women in their past on their online profiles. Men are more positive. Women tend to whine and describe what they DON'T want in a man.

  • Soosoo

    Profile #3: Sounds like a holier-than-thou, judgmental snob. She may not be, but wouldn't know it from her writing. "I don't like most guys…." If I were a reading a man's profile and he wrote: "I don't like most women….." I would not be interested in him.

    She's saying she simply doesn't like almost half of the human population since 1/2 the population is male! The difficulty lies with her and her intolerance of other people and her inability to see the goodness and beauty in everybody. Just because you careful choose your romantic partner and are not interested in most men romantically does not mean they are unworthy or your time or appreciation.

    I am extremely wary of people who do not like most people. They are projecting unhappiness within themselves onto other people. Life's too short for this attitude. I do not gel with this kind of person and avoid them anyway.

    Profile 3 was awful.

  • practicalhappiness.com

    Hello. Your point is well taken. I think one of the issues that people have been having a hard time defining “feminism” and it seems to be quite a dynamic term. It ranges from the extreme and to some – insulting jokes equating feminism to being a lesbian to the opposite and very mild association of feminism with a mere lack of discrimination, and just about anything in between. I guess I referred in this particular instance to those women, whose mission is to be everything a man is in as many ways as possible, which goes far beyond equality of rights, and invades such crucial factors as mannerisms, body language, priorities in life, etc… While everyone should be free to act and do as they wish, the price that those women who strive for a corner office at any costs pay is often higher than the rewards they get.

  • Reality

    feminism:
    noun
    1: the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes
    2: organized activity on behalf of women’s rights and interests

    Practicalhappiness, I like your articles, but I dislike your statement “Well, hopefully being a feminist or extreme feminist is not quite the same as being opinionated an independent. We, readers, tend to give our own meaning and assumptions to what we read and we have to be careful not to assume too much from a few words that sometimes mean what we are afraid they might mean.”

    The above definition is what feminism means. Other negative connotations are being tacted on to it by the woman who wrote the A profile, and are being encouraged by you. Also, what exactly is an extreme feminist and why is it necessary to include that with feminist? When did the quest for equal rights become so negative? Frankly, the word “feminist” has been unjustifiably abused and misused. I would hope that a majority of men and women would identify themselves as feminists.

  • Robinincarolina

    Today I changed my search results and actually viewed other women’s profiles. Sad, really sad. They all say the same thing. No wonder I get so many hits. 😉

    When reading a man’s profile, when he goes on and on about how he is honest, passionate, sincere, yada yada yada, I just move onto the next one. I mean what would you say, you are dishonest, hate sex, and insincere?

    These things should be left out of a profile, I so agree.

  • practicalhappiness.c

    Well, hopefully being a feminist or extreme feminist is not quite the same as being opinionated an independent. We, readers, tend to give our own meaning and assumptions to what we read and we have to be careful not to assume too much from a few words that sometimes mean what we are afraid they might mean.

  • matey

    On the grade A profile: I’m very confused as to how a woman who is ‘opinionated’ and ‘independent’ can so vehermntly deny she is a feminist. Only an uneducated fool would write that profile; that or a desperate man pleasing woman who was to afraid to use the F word when she means it…

    She sounds full of cr*p.

  • practicalhappiness.com

    This deserves clarification, and thank you for bringing this to my attention. While saying that you are “independent” in a profile is indeed redundant and somewhat cliche, that one word is not going to ruin an otherwise well-written profile. Also, in this example, the write says specifically “independent but far from being a feminist” which pretty much clarifies things and shows that the woman is aware of the negative connotations that might be given to the term.

  • bummed

    I just clicked on the link below and you completely contradict yourself practical happiness. Your "A" profile says she is independent. However the link "1. Online Dating Advice for Women: keep this out of your online dating profile" 's first piece of advise is to not say youre independent. Plus your "A"' profile's grammar is horrible. Do you have any credentials or edit this site?