Two Major First Date Turn-Offs

I have asked many women which qualities they find attractive in men and which traits, in their opinion, are the biggest turn-offs. Bragging and arrogance turn out to be by far the most common answers to this question. And this is not surprising. Bragging and talking too much usually go together and besides being simply annoying, indicate a person’s desire to compensate for those qualities that he / she feels she is lacking. This, in turn, indicates the guy’s great degree of insecurity.

For instance, a man’s obsession with designer clothing might ironically indicate his insecurity about his financial situation and therefore a corresponding desire to make a statement about his success without actual achievement of that success. Thus, wearing high-end clothing is one quick way in which he can show to the outside world that he is doing better financially than he really is.

When the guy describes himself as intelligent, it is usually because he feels the need to mention it since he finds it difficult to convey his intelligence in a much more effective way – through his actions.

Similarly, bragging and talking too much are some of the most unattractive qualities in both men and women. These flaws are easy to discover and they become apparent and irritating as early as a first date.

I have met quite a few beautiful women in my life. Many of them had a lot going for them, but I simply couldn’t stand some of them shortly after I met them because they would simply not… shut up. They would completely dominate the conversation and would go into the greatest detail about their lives and accomplishments that was far too personal to disclose to someone like me, who they didn’t know very well. That single trait of excessive talkativeness would completely turn me off and would “neutralize” all of the other great qualities that I saw in those women.

Don’t take me wrong. I do not advocate excessive modesty and I do not suggest that you should undermine your achievements and your self-worth. I wish to encourage you, however, to acquire and demonstrate class and subtlety in your behavior which are very attractive qualities in a romantic partner by showing your qualities indirectly – not through your words but rather your actions. By allowing your potential or existing partner to find great things about you gradually – from your actions and from the overall story of your life and not from your words – you will project the very attractive quality of confidence in yourself and in your accomplishments. It will then become obvious to your dating partners that you do not have the need to prove anything to anybody since you have already proven your skills and abilities to yourself and to the world.

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