Many women have the frustrating experience of going out with a guy on one or a few dates, thinking that things go well between the two of them, and then having that guy suddenly stop calling and disappear shortly after they start seeing each other. It is probably not a big deal when it happens with one or two guys, but if that is your experience with men over and over, it is hard to not take this personally and not start believing that there is something about you that turns men off and makes those men lose interest in you. While every dating situation and every interaction between people is unique and different and thus the reasons behind the guy losing interest are just as different, there are several common causes of that loss of interest beyond the typical “no chemistry” situation and the very common situation where the guy is simply not interested in dating one woman and he is driven toward sexual novelty and variety regardless of who he meets today.
The following are the six top reason why guys lose interest and what you can do to eliminate those possible causes of losing interest and thus increase your chances of retaining the guy’s interest and desire to be with you for a longer time:
1. You are not attractive enough. It is a cruel fact but a very true fact that if a woman is not physically attractive enough, there will still be guys who will be willing to go out with her but that won’t usually last. While there is only so much we can do to improve our looks and be more attractive, there is one major step that a woman can take to become more attractive – losing weight. This is not to say that the woman who doesn’t have excess weight should lose weight and be thinner – no, that’s not the point. The very interesting fact is this: if you are not overweight – if your body is reasonably lean and/or tones, chances are that unless there is some disfigurement in your face or body, you are probably attractive and sexually desirable for most guys. If you are overweight, it is critically important that you start losing weight and building a more attractive body. This will have all kinds of positive consequences on your life – from health benefits, having more energy, more confidence and of course – more attention from men. In short, losing weight and having a more attractive body will change and improve every single moment of your life. There are simply no reasons to wait and postpone achieving this goal any longer.
2. You talk too much. No matter how smart a person is, if he dominates a conversation, he will boring and even tiring to the other person. I and my friends met some incredibly beautiful women over the course of our dating lives, but we simply couldn’t stand being around some of them because they simply wouldn’t stop talking and wouldn’t shut up. While it’s obvious when someone else talks a lot, it’s not nearly as noticeable when you have to evaluate your own conversational habits. Thus, I encourage you to ask your friends whether they think you talk too much or interrupt their conversation or otherwise dominate your interaction. Encourage them to be honest and not tell you what you want to hear, but instead – tell you how it is.
3. You are too uptight. This girl told me once on the phone that she couldn’t meet me because her car broke down, to which I replied: “Well, that’s what happens when you let women drive.” Instead of laughing at the comment as most women would, she got angry, thought I was serious, hung up on me and later demanded an apology. Few things are bigger turn-offs and are more unattractive than a woman who can’t take a joke and who says “Ahh, how dare you!” instead of laughing at an inappropriate comment or a sexual innuendo and dishing one of her own. Dark humor, sarcasm and sexual comments are a spice life and love life for every interesting, ambitious guys. If you are interesting in dating and having a relationship with one, you should consider stopping to take yourself too seriously, open your mind and enjoy dark humor, rather than being intimidated by it or judge it.
4. You are boring. If you don’t have much to say, thoughts to share and ways to respond with to what the guy says, thinks and believes in, you are not going to catch a great guy’s interest for very long. Boring dates feel like a torture, and no one is interested in going into one or sticking around when they realize that they have to push the conversation to simply fill the time. Surely there is no shortcut to become a more interesting person, but there is a great, long-term solution – you started learning more things about yourself, about your environment and the world. TV, magazines, books, meeting new people, watching shoes, and engaging in social events will give you much more material to think about and form your views on. Surely, there is a lot of junk out there on TV and in magazines, but there is also lots of good material, and it is your duty to choose and “filter” the bad stuff out. As you become a more interesting woman, this will go far beyond improving your dating life and will make you much more attractive and interesting to your friends, and co-workers, and will likely create new social and professional opportunities for you that you didn’t even think existed and were available to you.
5. You are excessively independent/feminist. For many women it’s a life crusade showing and proving to guys and to themselves that they can be all a man can and more in every way. I fully support equality and full opportunities for women. However, when it comes at the account of femininity and elegance – women pay a high price of becoming very unattractive to the opposite sex. It’s a fundamental law of nature that masculine, confident, attractive men are attracted to the opposite – feminine women – women who possess a feminine voice, walk, and manners. Don’t take me wrong. I would never suggest that a woman should stay home and cook and clean. This is not what it is about. A woman can be very educated and successful and still retain her femininity and be proud of being a woman. Stop hiding the fact that you are different from guys. You are and it’s good news – good for you and for men. There is a saying “Bitches get corner office.” I seriously doubt it. Part ot being professional and romantically successful has always been being a lady, and being a lady and a “bitch” are mutually exclusive.
6. You are a victim of your past – many women have a bad relationship with a guy who is controlling and possessive at least once in their lives. Breaking up with such a guy feels like a very liberating experience – like putting more air in your lungs, like letting your tied wings go free, if you will. A woman who undergoes such a bad relationship in which she submitted to the guy’s control and possessiveness, jumps into another extreme with the other guys that she meets later. She makes it a point to show to every guy she meets that she is not going to “obey” him and do what she wants. She will do the opposite from what the guys asks or suggests just for the sake of showing that no one can tell her what to do, and that she decides what she does for herself. This is unfortunate because it creates unnecessary problems and challenges in communication. If you believe that you create such challenges in your interaction with men, you should do your best to not let your past negative experience with a jealous guy affect your present and future interactions with men.
7. You are not a good sex partner. Many women either ruin the romantic tension and the connection with the guy in bed. Few women act in a way that will make sleeping with them a great, memorable experience that the guy is eager to repeat. Some of the big turn-offs for guys are women who are either too quiet in bed (not making any sounds that would indicate their enjoyment and would look like they are bored), or those who talk too much, or say something inappropriate and irrelevant at the very wrong time. Not many women know what they are doing with their hands and their mouth when it comes to the man’s body. If a man had a mediocre experience sleeping with you for the first time, he is unlikely to want to do that again.
8. You are too competitive. It is very common for a woman who had dated a controlling, possessive, jealous guy to try to “make up” to herself for that time that she was subjected to such treatment, by jumping into another extreme, and challenging her next partner for a reason or not reason just for the sake of showing to him over and over and he cannot control her. She will disagree on the place to eat, go out at, travel to, and do not because she doesn’t like his idea, but because she wants to demonstrate to him that he cannot control her. A strong, confident guy will be turned-off and will lose interest in such a woman quickly because to him – such an attitude is incompatible with a very notion of that which is feminine. If you believe that you have been trying to overcompensate for the past “subordination” in your relationships with men, do yourself a favor and don’t allow your past haunt your present future and don’t allow the immaturity of your past dating partners negatively affect your dating life today.
This might sound extreme, but I truly believe that there is no better way to learn how to be a better sex partner than by observation. Thus, I urge you to not be afraid to rent erotic or even quality pornographic movies that will inspire you and will give you some great ideas on how to make your sexual experience more sensational and satisfying to both you and the guy. Make no mistake about it – this kind of skill is not common, and your guy, especially if he has “been around the block” will appreciate it because he knows that this is not common.
It is impossible to fully protect yourself from dating a guy who will lose interest in you at any point. However, by paying attention to the above six possible issues that you might be having in your interactions with guys, you will dramatically improve the chances of keeping any guy’s interest and coming across as a more attractive and desirable woman.
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LMAO!!! This site was obviously created by a man!
April, I agree! What a joke. I don’t know a single woman that would want to be this meek, subservient,adoring,submissive, yet money earning sex siren ‘lady’ in the 21st century! Whoever wrote this drivel, get real. Women (and men) have moved on.
Of course, it’s a tall order and a lot to a expect, but the women who combine professional ambition and success with real confidence along with femininity that doesn’t require them to try to be and act like a man, and prove that they can be everything a man can. This combination of qualities makes these women very desirable to men. I often do not hesitate to ask them why they are different. Interestingly enough, some of them say that every woman would act feminine and desirous to please with the right man who can bring it out on her. I, of course, wouldn’t know if that’s the case.
I might be wrong about this, but I’m pretty sure most women would be offended by that “women driving” comment. Seriously? Don’t you think the obvious gender bias in our society is a bit too strong to be cracking jokes about? It comes off as crass and uneducated.
Some would probably be offended, while others would find it funny, smack a guy playfully and say something similarly sarcastic to play along. I guess that’s what distinguishes an easy going person from the uptight one.
at time woman ant comply with man
very well put. there are so many cases where the reason is NOT the woman but when it is, these really are the reasons. it wouldnt make sense to write a list where the main purpose was to write what women want to hear!
Just remember guy’s its a woman that decides if you have sex or not, sucks doesn’t it ha ha. By the way this site is total crap, men if you believe what’s written here you will always be single.
Well, the first one is a bit inaccurate because my mom is a big lady, yet she’s very beautiful and has tons of men fighting for her attention. Number three is relative; it depends what kind of joke is made. If is a joke that offends religions or ethnicities, I will not like it. Number five is confusing; men complain when women are “clingy”, but they also complain when they aren’t. Boy, are they stupid or what?! Number seven depends; the first time I had sex with my guy I was in my period and the condom broke right before climax, but we kept doing it. It became better, and better eventually.
@April: Of course it was written by a man, the title is why MEN lose interest. You expect a woman to write why men lose interest? You are deluded.
@Soozie: If men believe what’s written here?! This article isn’t written for men, its written for women. You are saying if men don’t have standards they will always be single? What a child.
Oh, almost forgot. The top two reasons why men lose interest is because
a)too many women reading too many sites like this and play too many games, guys lose patience in that childish crap and bounce.
b)Woman play too hard to get, and when the guy gets her and see she isn’t worth half the effort he put into it… see ya!
Okay, Guys then tell me what is wrong with me, that he dumped me, or me him?
I am a single mother (37year old),very spontaneous and take live as it is, and never felt that I will fall in love again, but I did. It did not really bother me to seek someone in my life again, It is me and my Beautiful little Girl, what more did I need. But one day I met this guy, I were on a chat room via mobile and all of a sudden he invited me and we started chatting and we laughed a lot, it felt as if I were next to him. Then later as our friendship grew the conversations went in to another direction. We had sex talks texing each other and I felt the same as he did and he started phoning me privately asking how my day is and that he his phoning me because he misses me. Eventually I told him via sms, that I feel what he his feeling and if he feels the same.
You know the Chemistry was heavy. There weren’t a day that has gone by that we told each other that I missed him and he misses me or love each other. Some times we chatted til 3am in the morning and even send pictures of ourselves and things were still the same, until one day I just flipped and told him that he should not be rude to me, but if that is the case I will make it easier for him, because of the way he treated me the one night felt like he had enough and I ended it. The next morning I felt really bad and apologize and begged him to forgive me. It was foolish of me. He did not answer any of my sms. Until I asked him if he really does not have any more feelings for me, he must let me now. O and one-thing you should know…
He is 10 years younger than me, His answer via sms is as follows: I am not interested thank you, I do not forgive and forget so easily, I need time, I will let you know when I am up to it again.
So please tell me what did I do wrong? And is there still hope?, cause meeting him was fate, becoming his friend was choice but falling in love with him was out of my controle. We even had plans to move in together.. and meeting each other for the first time.
how could you not expect that joke to have backlash?
lol, maybe we should joke about their penis size – if they feel awkward, then they’re probably too uptight ladies.
omg, this is rich~ While the article and subsequent response posts are somewhat amusing, something should be said for those of our population who lack depth and substance and even more so for those who have plenty of it.
There’s a happy medium to be had here but it doesn’t exist in this writer’s constitution, who is clearly not, (for those who are curious), a man ~but somewhat of an unfortunate arse. If you don’t think this assessment has merit, let’s rewrite the article, TRANSPOSING the men and the women reference and the women’s lib paragraph with one that suffers through the same in a man who subscribes to such ideas that a woman’s place is in a kitchen, she has to be thin after giving birth three times, while he allows himself to become overweight, etc., and you’ll have no choice but to agree, it’s off base and character comes into play here.
Dear author, this may come as a shock to you, but it works BOTH ways.
(Besides, have you ever stopped to think how often one can observe examples of beautiful women who were married to men who let themselves go and men who somehow have the idea that the description ‘average-sized’ means having a beer gut? Or speak incessantly and arrogantly ad nauseam about their narrow views? Please? They’re out there.)
Thankfully, there are a plethora of terrific men in the world who would sooner seek what potential a woman has to offer well past two or three dates rather than to dismiss her for the above mentioned excuses, as the writer evidently practices.
For the real gentlemen, we know who you are and are ever so thankful for your existence, honorable intentions and your patience in taking the time in order for us to get to know one another… it brings us closer, we can learn what we need to have a good relationship together and we appreciate you.
And to the poor, unfortunate sycophant who had penned the original article, before you assume I might resemble any of your ‘top reasons’? Don’t. I work diligently to be toned and slender, very easy on the eyes, a good conversationalist, educated and very much a lady; probably just one of the few ‘lucky ones’ you’d wish you could date more than once…
(Though it wouldn’t have happened, as I’d have seen your true colors in short order. At the point you’d have sensed this, you’d probably not attempt another date but instead, assign one of your above ‘labels’ to me to assuage your your bruised ego.)
That said, you might do well by taking the time to do some introspective study of your modus operandi before all the good ones are gone. But, wait, don’t run off and pout yet, there is actually one positive attribute one might raise to give credit your logic, and that is it probably spared many lovely women from having wasted too much of their valuable time with you, giving more for the deserving men who do have substance. You can change if you really wish it, surely there must be at least one woman out there who wants to have faith in your motives.
Please consider being more broad-minded in your next commentary, hmm? It would not only appear more attractive but would be far more worthy of sharing.
Thank you.
~Ciao
@Skapie
I apologize up front as this may be cold comfort to you at the moment, but this is the best thing that could have occurred before you wasted any more of your precious time. He was very likely only using you without having any real intention of carrying on a true relationship at any point. In hindsight, you’ll notice everything seemed perfect while he was having a a ‘great time’ with you, that is until you dumped ‘drama’ on him, which is why he’s ‘out of there’ so instantly. Someone who really had true feelings for you would not behave in this manner and you know it. YOU KNOW IT.
He’s gone, if only for the time being as he warns you he ‘needs time’, to decide if he’s ‘up to it again’… so remember what I’m telling you here!! No matter how difficult it might be, should it happen and he approaches you to continue this exchange you’ve been having, DO NOT, under any circumstances take back up with this character, as it is likely he removed himself from the situation when you became upset as to not be found out that you were only one of his many. He’s trying to throw it all back on you but in reality it is his mechanism to keep from being found out, whatever he is. You have no idea how much of what he says is accurate and true. Trust me on this, do not mess with him again. I’m sorry, as I am sure reading this must hurt you and I send you virtual hugs as you go on…
You are probably a very genuine, sweet, giving and loving woman. Unfortunately, there are millions of predators online (yes, consider the especially highly disgusting, dirty old men pedophiles), who do nothing with their retirement time but pilfer through the very public photo albums that people post online. They steal their images to falsely present themselves to victims using the likeness of those unwitting participants in their game with you and your heart. Is he really all that and ten years younger? Think about it. YOU DON’T KNOW. Go online yourself. Choose a persona and see how easy it is to pop into someones photo bucket and steal their lifetime of photo memories that they have posted there! It’s too easy to do and predators are very adept at it.
Of course, this is not to say that EVERY man associated with an online connection must be considered undeserving of your trust and respect. Definitely not! I met my husband online, 13 years ago. However, going forward, don’t waste any time before meeting an online suitor in person before you get too emotionally involved. DO THIS VERY CAREFULLY with COMMON SENSE and great caution> if a man has honest intentions and is on the up and up, he should have zero issues with meeting you in a public place and if he has traveled, taking a hotel suite rather than following you to your home for a night cap. Many points to his credit if he suggests to carry on that way until you get to know each other better. Never put yourself in an isolated situation, let friends and family meet him. How he reacts to your very suggestion of meeting friends/family alone would be a good test of his true intentions.
If the feeling is mutually expressed, realize that you should be able to call each other ANY TIME (reasonably speaking, of course) of the day or night. (If he gives you strict instruction to the contrary, he might have something to hide that will break your heart). Any other restriction on communication should be a huge red flag for you, no matter how they explain their situation away. Don’t fall for it. TRUST your intuition, don’t let emotions cloud your judgment (this is easier said than done so worth mentioning).
If at ANY point there is a hint of doubt in your mind about the situation, trust your gut instinct and move on no matter how smooth he might be. DO NOT let the wonderful feeling of ‘being in love’ mask what is common knowledge. That is, with the advent of Internet exchanges, if you haven’t met the man, especially if he puts up barriers to this happening, you simply can’t be certain he is who he says he is or that he really exists as someone worthy of your affections.
I hope that you will chalk this up to ‘lessons learned’ as you are still very young and can move on to a very fulfilling relationship with someone deserving of you when the time is right. Best wishes.
I think I’d didn’t like the sex partner thing. Cuz, not only are your expectations too high but men can be bad in bed too and women don’t dump them for it. Problem is, I’m naturally quiet (unless you’re hurting me) so sometimes noise is a bad thing! Also, I’m inexperienced. Men say they like girls who don’t sleep around but then they expect them to be good in bed! Take your pick! Do you want sluts who are awesome at sex or those who’ve slept with few and will not be good at it? Be realistic, please.
And for someone like me, i tend to say slightly inappropriate things all the time but you need to know that women have faults. so for the sex thing, thats just not on. You’re nasty in your approach cuz you’re saying ‘you’re ugly’ ‘you’re boring’. thats not going to help anyones self esteem. Talk like that will convince women to put out less and you will suffer for it! its more about if they TRUELY like you – they will stick by you.
Good points. First, I am sure that some women do leave guys who don’t make them happy in bed, and the one who don’t might be feeling unhappy or unsatisfied. If you are naturally quiet, it’s not a problem. Perhaps you have other ways to show that you enjoy intimacy. Or… perhaps your partner doesn’t really care about you being quiet. About experience – it’s true that guys want it both ways. I guess moderation, like in many other things, is the key. Having some experience is not a bad thing. A virgin is not an ideal situation for a secular guy and so is a former porn star, but there are many other options in between obviously.
I don’t agree with everything on the list, but a few things. That doesn’t mean they don’t apply to somebody. A lot of people today seem to think that if something doesn’t apply to them then it must be total bullshit (cough cough). I have dated many women who love to talk about equality and their independence, but when the check comes they are nothing but smiles. Dump. I have dated many girls who demand an exciting man, yet they have no hobbies besides shopping. Dump. A women who claims that men are shallow when it comes to choosing a mate yet have a large collection of Brad Pitt and Mathew McConaughay movies (for their personality obviously). Dump. Many women today want it all, without the drawbacks. I’m sure there are plenty of shit men too. However, I don’t date men, only women, and can only say how glad I am to be living healthy and single!
Hello, Chris. Your observations are both true from my experience and entertaining. I think people who have “high standards” for others but not nearly as high standards for themselves come across as annoying and out of touch in reality, whether it’s men, women, and whether it concerns dating, work, etc… The kind of hypocrisy that you describe is just rather one common example of that. If we had a dime for every person who says that they are not materialistic and don’t care about money, to only find out that they are all about labels and showing off….
Seriously, who ever wrote this is single and lives in their parents basement, and probably has been blown off by every female he has ever spoken to.
This quote comes to mind:
I think… no, I am positive… that you are the most unattractive man I have ever met in my entire life. You know, in the short time we’ve been together, you have demonstrated EVERY loathsome characteristic of the male personality and even discovered a few new ones. You are physically repulsive, intellectually retarded, you’re morally reprehensible, vulgar, insensitive, selfish, stupid, you have no taste, a lousy sense of humor and you smell. You’re not even interesting enough to make me sick
i was in a relationship w/ an ex bf for 3 years and never had any communication with him after the break up. he never called me, i never called him up; i was hoping he would call me up. the break up was my fault, i overreacted. I made myself very busy and never thought of calling him up. But 8 years after the break up i called him up and told me he was already married for 4 years now and has an 8 month old child. ; i was very disappointed and hurt about hearing he was already married. I regretted not calling him earlier when i might have had a chance to reconcile with him. Now i am depressed and mourning over my loss. i regretted i even called after 8 years. was i right or wrong in calling him after 8 years? what do you think of him not calling me at all after the break up?
I don’t undermine the equality, and I do appreciate intelligent women, but I also live in a heavy state with liberal ideal’s, and extreme feminist backlash, it reminds me of the old adage “is the juice worth the squeeze”, to this respect I’d say no most of the time. When you live in a region where most girl’s act like men, and most men act like scene-kid trash, and your the few of a masculine breed of men left standing, it is hard to find common ground with society.
Not to say there isn’t good fish in the sea, just finding the one’s that don’t leave a miserable aftertaste is something to be longed for.
Sounds like you live in the Las Vegas area or somewhere on the west coast like I do Anon. I learned how the men to women ratio on the west coast is around 3 to 1 so I think women can be more picky therefore a lot more single men. I’ve had a hell of a time finding a lasting relationship with a woman lately which is probably due to the fact that I’m unemployed but even when I was working I never got the quality woman I was looking for. Women on the west coast are more shallow I find. I’m hoping I can land a job in DC where the single women to men ratio is like 3 to 1.
I too think that the ratio between men and women makes a difference. If the ration is balanced, rather than male dominated, there are more women to choose from for men, and women tend to have less “attitude” or less “guards” as they don’t have quite as many options as in areas where there are way more men than women.
So…when men dare describe their likes and dislikes, women circle the vaginas and act offended. There you go: when the shoe is on the other foot, many of you show you cannot handle debate with an objective point of view. You make the writer’s point for him.
Pssh. All this just to get a baby?!!!
Not worth it.
This is what’s called CONDITIONAL LOVE/LUST.
Truth hurts. but one day they will be bald and ugly and fat as well…..
with NO LOVE from the women they WAnt.
I think it’s a well written article. You guys should know though, it’s probably written a little bit more geared to the women who want to get the upper percentile of men though. I generally look for alot of these qualities in women. Except, however, I do often like women who are a little bit chubby. It makes women more womanly in my mind ^_____^ (granted with good style, cute face, good skin, etc.)
I think the article is largely true but that it applies to both men and women. I have rejected men for some of the reasons stated – boring, poor love-making, competitiveness (which I find unattractive in both men and women). In relation to weight – I don’t think it’s shallow – physical fitness and health are attractive, period. One thing not mentioned but which I think is a red flag to basically everyone is neediness. But again, in my experience men are just as prone to this as women. Maybe the article should just be retitled – Things that are generally a turn off early on in a relationship?
Women who are bad in bed are the worst just got out of a relationship with one. Dead silence, doesn’t move much, sexual hung-ups, inhibition shyness lack of initiation & imagination, never masturbated etc etc. It is very easy to loose interest in these types and love alone is not enough to hold the couple together. I gave it 3 years and nothing changed, at all.
This article and the subsequent comment leave me more confused. I wonder what exactly more interesting in bed means and then I realize what was meant by the comment is act like you are in a porno. What if you dont watch porno? Before men started watching those things, all women had to be was average looking or better, and THERE. Men expect women to act like the ho in some xrated movie, but they dont want the type of girl who watches it. They dont want their woman to be some cheap slut, but that is what they are attracted to. An as far as the bad driving comment, this author wants a woman who will playfully put up with verbal abuse. Its not that the author meant it as a joke. If it was meant as a joke it would be said with a smile and a Nah just kidding! But what if the shoe was on the other foot? How does it feel to live in a world where your worth is based on what you look like, and how slutty you act, instead of the fact you have a loving personality and a beautiful caring heart? Im not saying looks dont matter, but it shouldnt be the most important thing. Ive been married for 8 yrs, and I know my husband loves me, but society has created this nagging fear that if I gain weight or Im not pencil thin with big boobs, a tan and a dingy, “tease” type personality will my husband still love me or no? That is sad. It is sad to women that men have this perfect type and if they see flaws they think you must not be the one and move on to something else. It was never meant to be that way.
Firstly I’m female. Unfortunately I can believe many of these points to be true after speaking to many of my male friends about this sort of thing previously. Guys can have these reasons but so can women. I’ve heard many women talk about how ugly a guy is and they wouldnt go near him with a ten foot pole etc etc, or that they were boring, or cocky or SOMETHING that is just part of who that person is. There are many people out there that arent as superficial, but there are more that are, and thats just how it is sometimes. You arent going to click with everyone you meet. However I do dissagree with the weight thing, I know quite a few guys that like the bigger ladys over the slimmer ones. Personal preferance, but if you get dumped… it probably is for something superficial sadly….
I’m a pretty down to earth person.
However: If my car broke down, I’d probably be pretty peeved about that already. Then add on a guy cracking a sexist joke expecting a laugh when my FREAKING CAR just broke down? Uh – no. Sorry. Hah, and the guy thought it had to do with him. Freaking hilarious.
I mean, that joke didn’t even make sense. Her car broke down – not crashed – but broke down, and he made a joke saying it’s about the way she drove it? If anything, he should’ve said, “That’s what happens when a woman takes care of a car.” Hell, at least it might’ve had a chance of having the 50% truth rule to it.
Hell, maybe she was annoyed because she’d heard the same joke over and over again – Every woman has. “Oh ho ho, you’re so funny! Where did you learn that extremely witty and hilarious joke from?” I mean, come on. If she wanted a funny guy, it definitely wouldn’t be him. That would be like giving a guy who used a pick-up line a second glance. Uh, no – negative.
I’m so lucky that my SO is actually witty and wouldn’t stoop his humor to an over-used, sexist, ‘I’m just copying my friend’s jokes because that will make me cool in my head’ kind of joke.
All I can say for that guy is: Lame.
/end rant.
Hmmm… Well the article is a bit blunt and shallow but, I see where the author is coming from & ill try to keep your advice in mind (though I disagree with a few things) I tooo, as a woman have standards, when it comes to men. while, I like to believe my standards are not shallow… Id be lying if I said they werent, even just a bit. :/ there is no such thing as perfection and we are all guilty of shallowness in one way or another. Also, BOTTOM LINE to everyones opinions and arguements: WOMEN will forever think like WOMEN; MEN will forever think like MEN. The best thing to do would to just be more considerate of the opposite sex n understand its a battlw that will never be won! Good luck to you all!
I think if I had read this and was 30 I wouldn’t “get it” like I do now at 50. I agree with the author. We could save ourselves so much grief if we would not jump from one bad right into another bad relationship with some dude we know nothing about. Ladies, please take some time to rest up between dudes and know where you were wrong and learn what you like n need and then go out and look for the next one with some standards that will enhance your life not confuse and ruin your life. BE HAPPY-TAKE A CLASS-BE ALWAYS LEARNING AND PAY ATTENTION TO CURRENT EVENTS. Watch porn but only the stuff you yourself are willing to do. it makes sense to me. Don’t bring gloom into a room and don’t ruin the party for people. Don’t be a complainer be a doer!
Last ladies- don’t judge other’s and don’t be a bad woman either. Go for single men only and never ex’s of friends or relatives. You will be happy and dudes will want to date you
This article is major one fail after another. Here’s a quick example. That crack about women driving? Kidding is normally reserved for people THAT YOU KNOW FAIRLY WELL FIRST. You don’t tease strangers, you tease friends. Teasing a stranger is extremely rude. So don’t assume that a woman taking it badly means she has no sense of humor.
@ Talzhemir
You cannot be serious. If you are out with someone who you just met, and he says obviously something so sarcastic to tease and entertain you, you would actually take offense to that? I do not know how old you are, but if you are anywhere over 20 years old, you should reconsider taking things like that so personally.
A worthwhile article. I agree with much of it.
The weight issue: this isn’t necessarily about vanity. A dude isn’t automatically shallow because he’s not attracted to heavy women. Health is attractive, inside and out, physical and mental, and being overweight is not healthy. Nothing repels me, a man, more than a gal with bleached blonde hair, artificially tan skin, fake boobs, and a skinny body with a flat butt. That said I don’t find excess fat attractive either. Sure, guys can be attracted to heavy girls, but shaving off whatever weight you can makes you even more attractive and as the author points out, will benefit almost every aspect of your life. Losing weight means having more energy and consequently a clearer mind and happier disposition. A cranky, negative, and tired person is a turnoff. On the other hand if a heavier gal is able to be warm and funny despite her physical obstacles, it can go a long way in her attractiveness. I find it unfortunate if a heavier gal has been hurt by shallow men and allows it to diminish her self-esteem because a man really will find her more attractive if she values herself despite the weight.
I tend to agree with the point about being uptight or being offended by edgy humor. While I don’t find the joke about women driving particularly funny, for a woman to be bitter about it for a day and demand an apology is pretty ridiculous. But if a guy expects a woman to laugh at envelope-pushing humor, it should be y’know…humorous 8^]
Overly feminist: I’ve seen this manifest in the form of reverse-misogyny (misandry). Some women believe that men as a rule are usually wrong in arguments, basically that the default position is the woman being correct simply because men have been so abusively patriarchal throughout history. Some women consider female emotions to be inherently more delicate and more worthy of consideration than males’, and women don’t need to worry about hurting men’s feelings; it’s only the woman’s feelings that matter. It’s as if some women have to compensate for yesteryear’s grievances and will take it out on decent men who’ve treated women with nothing but respect their whole lives. I have ejected female friends from my life because of these attitudes. They are ignorant, infuriating attitudes and are totally at odds with the equality these women are supposedly advocating.
Victim of past: Some overlap with the feminist point but I’m right on board with it. In my estimation few things are more tragic than abusive incidents in a woman’s past. It’s difficult to understand how deeply these things have effected women and strains logic to presume that they won’t influence their present relationships. Of all the points in the article I’d guess that this is the most difficult one for women to control or even realize it’s effecting their r’ships. Women with PTSD for example will often relive past traumas after certain “triggers” are fired. Some women will also be unable to emotionally connect with a male because in the past the person who hurt them was a person they deeply cared for, so as an avoidance mechanism they resist connecting with men. This is not a good way to secure relationships so obviously these women find it difficult to find guys who will stick around.
This can manifest as the woman seeming to be very self-preoccupied; she is trying to establish a connection so presents herself to the guy in a self-centered way because she is not allowing his heart and mind into her own in order to avoid repeated heartache. I don’t know what women can do about this short of professional therapy.
I believe (and my wife agrees) that women do actually want to be dominated to an extent by their male partner. But it has to be a with someone with whom they feel safe and who is in an otherwise equal partnership with her. But a woman who has been abused has been dominated by men without her consent. Once she finds a decent man, she wants him to sometimes take the aggressive role with her. But due to the abusive males in her past, once the decent man takes the aggressive role, she shuts it off and insists that the man not “tell her what to do,” or the like. It’s as if her natural desire to be dominated by her equal partner has been crippled by the a-holes in her past and the experience of it is soured. A beta-male friend of mine is dating a gal who tells him to take charge and be in control of what they do, but once he does she becomes angry and insists he not tell her what to do. It’s a paradox that she found someone meek and respectful so she opens her heart and wants the dominant side to come out but she reflexively associates alpha-male behavior with hurtful men; she hasn’t learned how to healthfully receive the dominant trait.
I don’t know about the pornography idea, lol. The women actors in those are so phony with the noises and the things that supposedly get them off. I can see right through inauthentic sex noises. I think it’s best when both parties communicate their sex desires to each other (not during the act necessarily). A solid r’ship means freedom to discuss what each other likes in bed and since people have unique tastes, the best source of information is the person on top of or underneath you.
Thanks for the article!
First, thank you for putting forth your thoughts from a mans perspective, however, you are speaking from your own and maybe some other men’s perspective. There are men out there that actually like BBW and with that I will say, a women still needs to take care of herself and be the most beautiful woman she can be both inside and out
Sex: Communication is the key, alot of people both men and women do not say what they want in sex, either because they are too shy or are afraid of rejection. If you cant talk about it then maybe your not ready for it. Your right that men need to know that they are needed and wanted and their opinion and help are valued. In all of this men and women both have needs, the question is are both willing to give what the other person needs in order that both may be fulfilled?? Myself I give effort to give my man what he needs not because I want to or he deserves it(sacrifice) but because I love him and I want him to be happy and I want us to be happy 
Listen people! When people have things that they are pleased with themselves about then they do not and will not see a problem with their image even if it is conflicting with others. Its called mirror imaging. You attract people like you and get along with people like you. We look at it that all others have a big problem with themselves not ourselves. Truth is we are people with non perfect issues that can’t see beyond our own world not to change but to accept what is different- not flaud. this article does have fact in it. Accept it and believe that there is no one quick fix on anything. I would be a fool to think i don’t have flaws and that i cant change not for someone else but change towhat i should have learned about a long time ago being the top species on this planet and able to adapt and learn. Lack of understanding and knowledge is in everyone – we are so limited. Accepting anything that you view is wrong and adding it to your character even if it is viewed as wrong don’t make you wrong or right it is just makes you versatile/adaptive. People tell me things about myself alot as the same with you people. Fact is it is accessible and debatable, bt possibly true to a small to large degree. I would believe it unless the person is truly diagnosed as mental. Most times people it is you and not the person that can’t adapt. Notice i said adapt. I did not say most times it is you and not the person that has a problem. We blame others for what has worked for us scince we were knee high when we meet someone different. Truth- it has worked because we are always around similar people like us and we adapted our personality to fit the environment. Leave the environment meet other people and you ind that youare the one that is still in the envionment you left and haven’t adapted to the new one you engaged in now. Its called expansion to meet your needs personally.
Yes of course the article was written by a man, do you really think a woman could be a expert on what men feel or think about such a subject like this, duh. Of couse there are some guys who might not agree with some of these thoughts I’m pretty confident most guys would agree if they’re not scared of being honest. See some guys will say certain things because they’re scared they’ll upset the woman they’re with or they’ll alienate themselves from potential women for having those thought that puts women in a not so perfect light. I really hate the thought that I hear so much about men maturing slower than men. What is the final determination they used to come up with that study? Is it because men like to have fun and enjoy life instead of being so uptight and worry about what other people think about them? That doesn’t sound mature. Not saying women are across the board immature or more immature than women, I’m just saying women are just as immature as men they just do it in a different lowkey way.
Yes I can tell that this was wrote by a man, but I also think he makes a good point. You can be a feminine woman without being submissive and subservient, while also keeping your independence. God made you a woman embrace it. And I think he is right about dark humor. The humor can relieve the tension around a subject.
Thanks! I never was able to put it in so many words but I couldn’t agree more – making fun of many taboo subjects relieves the tension around them and points out some really funny things in our or any other society.
Wait a minute… So, women are on here bashing the idea that a MAN probably wrote this? Hold on, wouldn’t that make more SENSE!? Hello, you’re wondering why MEN lose interest in women and that’s why you came here, is that not correct? WHO BETTER to tell you WHY than a man!? *LIGHT BULB*
Women can speculate all they want about whether or not a man left her for this or that, but truth be told, unless you have an honest and open break up with no gray areas – you probably won’t know the truth for what it is, even if it smacked you in the face without him HAVING to tell you.
Women are emotional creatures – we always make excuses or try to reason with ourselves. FACE IT, the things that the author wrote are absolutely correct. AND IT GOES BOTH WAYS. Women, look at it this way: Do you want a physically unattractive man that is not only boring, but does everything to defy you and sucks in the sack? Get a grip! What makes these observations false? Because a man stated them? Please, honey! Either your fat or you suck in bed, you’re quite possibly boring and easily offended. Get a grip.
For myself, I know that I’ve been overly insecure, let my physical appearance go a little and then let the insecurities that came with that dampen any potential of having a healthy relationship. I know I’ve thought someone was serious while joking and I’ve gotten offended. At times, I’ve had absolutely nothing interesting to say and I can’t say that I’m Jenna Jameson in bed.
My revolution? Yes, REVOLUTION… My marriage. I’m physically fit to a T and in the best shape of my life, I only compete with my husband during our Halo: Reach game sessions, I’m open to everything you could think of in bed with the exception of any additional members (no three ways for me, thanks) and we are intellectually on a level in which neither of us feel insecure or dominated.
Ladies, re-evaluate the reason you clicked the lead to this article or suck it up and take it for what it is.
As above, these things are true. Granted, the physical appearance thing is possibly a bit off – if he doesn’t find you physically attractive, there wouldn’t be a first date. Also, appearance isn’t just some stupid shallow bizzo either – evolutionarily speaking, guys want healthy looking women to bear their children. Yes, healthy – not stick thin. Of course, everyone has different preferences on body shape – I personally have a pretty wide range… I digress.
Having a great smile can really help too – not necessarily perfect teeth or whatever, just an honest, appreciative smile can make the crappiest day seem better.
If you can’t have a laugh at common misconceptions of the different sexes abilities (i.e. women can’t drive, men can’t cook etc) then pick something else to tease about. For pete’s sake, don’t get upset and overreact. Just steer the jokes away from that.
IMPORTANT: guys don’t actually care about penis size (cos hey, we still get off), but if you start cracking personal jokes like that, he will automatically assume that body issues aren’t a big deal for you – read, he’ll start dishing some back.
And yes, an overly confident and secure woman is just as unattractive as a submissive man, for the same reasons – they are acting like the opposite gender. If we wanted to date a man, we would. Yup, (a little) submissiveness is what we’re looking for. Call me sexist all you want, it’s a fact.
Finally, if you choose to ignore all the above sentences, remember that just as you find things attractive in a man, men find things attractive in a woman. It might not make sense for either gender, but men and women think very differently. Someone wrote this article for your benefit, not to try and trip you.
707/Anon, you might be on to something. I was visiting my old town in Oregon, and checked out girls online. Being on the East Coast with a good career I’m used to dating moderately attractive to gorgeous model girls, and don’t worry too much about looks as long as she’s decently pretty and fit and we’re having fun. Now I look at all the girls in Oregon on online dating, and they’re rotund, or bizarrely pierced and unwholesome. It’s unhealthy and disgusting. Even if you just wanted sex I don’t know that one could get it up for a lot of these ladies, and you could hardly build a good and healthy lifestyle with them.
As for women here that are in some denial complaining. Well in public feminism won so guys won’t say what they feel, things that are considered rude. But sex appeal is instinctive, and your complaining and having low standards won’t ever make a guy attracted to you. Look at the women in Ukraine, hot as hell since they know they have to work to get a good guy. Take care of their bodies. Same deal here a lot of guys are just emasculated pussies so they don’t bother to set a bar for any women, so they can never get attractive ladies.
Women the bottom line is men are masculine and strong and women are feminine and beautiful. What we want is a pretty girl who is nice, feminine and submissive in attitude yet with a good career, happy with herself, who has friends, and shares common interests with us. Bonus points if she’s an enthusiastic whore in the bedroom but loyal to you. It’s great to reflect your personal style in a way that’s hot and not freaky or feminist or masculine. Socioeconomic standing is attractive — no guys want gutter trash unless it’s really hot gutter trash. Girls who are bi and will go to a threesome are attractive, but we won’t commit to you unless you will be faithful (or if it’s an open relationship follow the terms of it).
Maybe women don’t like to hear it, or guys too who would rather say they are in touch with their feminine energies and they like giant fat cows. But this is sex appeal and if you’re a man you have to be a man, if you’re a woman you have to be a woman. Or else face it, you will date someone repulsive. Welcome to reality. Fuck political correctness, the West was better as the Wild West.
This guy is pretty spot on. I am a man that has been on a lot of dates. I have a high status job, a good life, and am very good looking. I dress nice and am usually the life of the party talking to everyone. I consider myself to be a man that has many options when it comes to women. Now this article is pretty spot on. I would say that i prefer a woman who has a good job and is very successful. In fact, a girl who owns a business is a turn on for me. But and this is a very big BUT. If a woman cannot act like a woman and she tries to change plans or wants to pay for everything because she is so independent, or a girl who has to take the lead, this is an extreme turnoff for me. Now i am not talking about what is FAIR and how society SHOULD BE but, rather, i am talking about what ATTRACTS most men. I want a woman on my date not a man. A woman should be coy and mysterious not too talkative. Men want challenge. An uptight woman is like a nightmare. I like to playfully tease a lot. And if a woman gets too offended or she rants later on how pissed off she got, its a deal breaker for me. Now not all of these are deal breakers for a lot of men, but they certainly are turnoffs.
@amber: hahahahaha so true
7. Is just dumb plain dumb,but men don’t know what they want,they talk a bunch of crap about women being stuck up because they are independent,but yet they want someone independent wtf???. This will hurt a mans feelings but who cares cause men ain’t sh*t anyway,women give 98-99% in the relationship and men only give 2% this ain’t milk. Men are extremely lazy in relationships,always want women to cook for their ass and submit and obey them. GET REAL if you have 2 hands,5 fingers, 2legs,2 feet and 5 toes get your asses up and do something in the kitchen,clean the bathroom,take out the trash. Men spend way too much fu**ing time looking for women to do everything,and then when she don’t they wanna get mad and call women lazy. News flash for men a woman doesn’t need to change for you,she doesn’t need to make you happy because its not all about you,men are selfish bastards who continue to make women act the way they act because they do stupid sh*t to us. And then they expect women to trust them after she’s been through so much hurt,pain,abuse as a child and as an adult. Every woman isnt gullable to believe what comes out your mouth,some of us have been there done that and won’t tolerate it again.
Sad to say if men keep it up majority of women will either do 3 things, #1 she will turn gay, ( after all the bullshit games men play men become unattractive to us),#2 she will still like men but won’t take them seriously,#3 she will stay single for as long as possible,avoiding all men because they discust her to the extreme no matter how cute or good they look.
There all true. If you have to fight this, it only proves your uptight, and cant agree with what some men think.
One thing that upsets me about men so much is their doubble standards. They seem to have this ideal image in their mind about what a woman SHOULD be and not what real women are like. Women have to be independant but submissive, classy but sluts in the bedroom, hairless, skinny, polished, put together, witty, charming, funny, exciting and outgoing but also shy and coy. We cant be complete feminists, but we also can’t be pushovers and doormats. We can’t play hard to get, but we also shouldn’t make ourselves seem to avaliable. Yeah of course everyone has standards, but don’t expect a woman to be perfect, cause you wil never find the perfect funny, witty, charming, shy yet outgoing, beautiful, fit, independant but submissive, classy, slutty goddess that you envision. Yeah there may be someone who comes close, and maybe there is a woman like this, but do you think this all around amazing woman is gonna be with YOU? She only will be if you’re a hot hunk who is well educated, makes good money, is goal oriented, great in bed, funny, charming, interesting, and a gentelman. And wake up men, you’re not perfect either, and there is a whooooollleee list of what men do that turn us off! (For starters, you may want to stay away from the sexist jokes unless you already know eachother well and she understands that you’re just being sarcastic)
@Janelle and@Gina … I was going to put in my two sense to the Penis Brains of this post (I know its not a word but, goodness this label is fitting to a large percentage of the male population) but, you two upstanding ladies have perfectly summed up the epitome of the male ego .The very same ego that will perpetuate the “mens” continual unhealthy relationships, and the sad part is the boys will be one day sitting all alone wondering why they are still alone after many heart breaking relationships. Yet still sadly the male driven ego ,will not allow them to grasp that they expected this perfect woman, a woman who does not exist . Of course no woman can be all things to all men but, when yall “men ” on this board with your impossible demands expect to have a woman like this ,do you really think she is going to stand by you when you yourself have an ego that will most assuredly kill that special love that you had with her at one time?
One thing that I think looses men’s interest is when a lady is on say a dating site, has her IM on and never ever ever responds. Why even have IM if women are so rude, never ever answer back and they use the stupid a** excuse I have too many people. BS!! Thats just a big a** copout. If a guy ask you what up, or whats going on?? I guess that’s a stupid question for women huh????? What and how the eff else do you single women want us men to respond???????? Thats how you get a conversation going.
So women that are on im be polite, answer back and say something… It’s much better to say something even if it’s hey i’m not interested or hey what’s going on, I’m not interested or I am busy at the moment, or chat with him. Well then fine we will move on and that a much more grown up lady response then just letting him hang and say nothing. Saying nothing and playing those complete BS little girl games is just that, for little GIRLS not grown ups.
Women these days need to learn to be nicer and act more lady like. It’s a huge turnoff for men when women try and act like men and have that sh*tt* bi*c* attitude. Men run from women/ladies that try and act like men. Nothing worse than women acting like men.
Hi there,
I think I tick some of the boxes; talk too much, I’m boring,
maybe not that great in bed, I’m financially independent and successful.
However I like to communicate about a wide variety of things. If the
guy finds the subject matter or myself boring or can’t contribute to the conversation, well then its not going to work for me either. Verbal communication is important to me like sex is important to a guy.
Given the reasons you’ve given above and my past dating experiences,
I’m not inclined to go out and make any effort to meet and interact with men with the view of finding a partner. While the points in your article are true, it makes me not want to meet men, especially a man like you, which are common. I think this is a shame because I know if a little bit of faith and patience was given to me, I know I could become a better woman. Your article, while truthful and insightful does little to foster what little good will there is between men and women who are dating. It’s a shame because I know I could make some man happy but male views such as this put me off entirely. Lonliness is a high price to pay.
Breaking out joke about a girls driving in the beginning of a somewhat developing relationship is not cool to say. Better yet, its not smart. If you know women well, you should know they would take offense to that, which you can’t blame them. For a joke like that to work with a woman. You will have to know her, and for her to be comfortable with you first. Again, talking jokes like that in the beginning is most inappropriate.
@Rick
It’s probably true that a safer and a more appropriate way to go is not to joke like that. However many women, especially the more funny, sharp and witty ones can take a joke like that, dish out one of their own and banter well, while enjoying it even with the guy who they don’t know very well. Usually this applies to the more mature women.
I totally agree with this article . Not many women can understand mans outlook and feelings toward a woman. Heed this advice if you’re a woman looking to keep a man.
Geese, gander anyone?
“Top reasons women lose interest in men:
1. Hotness Delusion Syndrome, seriously you aren’t as good looking as you think you are and even if you were, the fact that that you THINK you are amazing is a turn off.
2. You don’t know how to listen. You are so busy trying to think up ways to impress a woman, you have not heard a word she has said. You haven’t learned basic communication skills, attending behaviour, active listening and validation.
3. You are an ignorant misogynist. Take the joke you were about to say and change reference of women to black/asian/muslim… oh see how that sexism is just as not ok as racism?
4. You are boring, you do not seek to converse on topics you know little about or explore new fields of knowledge, in which you might have to be the seeker and receiver of knowledge rather than The One Who Knoweth All
5. You are excessively dependent. I think by the time you are in your 20′s you should be able to cook a meal from scratch (not opening a jar), use the washing machine and know how to pick up after yourself. I have no interest in being your mother.
6. you haven’t dealt with the past, seriously take a look at where you fucked up in past relationships and what you need to change to not make the same mistakes in this one.
7. You have not read the following “Sex at Dawn” or “The anatomy of women’s arousal” or even “Great Sex” go learn a little about women’s sexuality and then we can talk, until then you will continue to be crap in bed.
8. You are abusive, controlling and entitled. And you don’t realise it. And you think that’s perfectly normal and acceptable.”
so men like “hot gutter trash” but not “gutter trash” so they like “hot” anything really. how incredibly demeaning. they want coy, silent, mysterious so they can be turned on sexually by the allure…who cares about a personality as long as she’s seductive….
they want rich, sexy, feminine (i.e. made up, dyed blonde) women. jesus christ, who do you guys think you are….where are your values of respect, committment, loyalty and love…is it possible for you to see beyond the possibility of sex on the dating scene and the possibility of enhancing your masculine egos with a gorgeous yet silent submissive (but of course clever and ambitious enough to be earning top dollar – in which case it’s unlikely she’ll be willing to withstand the tedious boredom of having to keep her opinions to herself while her hunk of boring man pontificates ad nauseum so he can feel like a real man lol) what ever happened to values of friendship, respect, mutual engagement in a relationship or if at the dating stage aspiring to such. that’s what it takes to maintain a relationship long term. many of the guys who come on these forums and patronisingly ‘advise’ women on what to do to ‘keep’ them (who the hell would want them anyway – would have to be truly desperate and insecure to put up with the arrogance and hostility) are women hating, immature, sex maniacs. hopefully, it’s the mark of a decent man that most of them don’t bother writing such idiotic misogynistic rubbish as I’ve seen on this post because they don’t believe it and are capable of genuinely engaging with a woman not as an object to enhance them or please them but on a humane level and for her value in herself which is very attractive to a sincere guy who is capable of realising that other people have needs too and it’s not all about him. and it’s true for women too. men are not objects to be ‘caught’ and ‘kept’ either. both genders (but especially men! or at least the ones on this board) need to be more down to earth, humble and realistic in their expectations if they really want to have happy and fulfilling relationships and not just someone who ticks the boxes.
Hello,
Thank you for providing your perspective. I want to remind you that the article was only addressing the narrow issue of the most common reasons men lose interest in women sexually. It was not about all the other things that make women attractive and beautiful. It did not call women to be coy or silent.
You know what girls – wisen up and learn how to take good advise when its being offered, that’s why a lot of your 30 somethings are still single! On the surface some of this advice offered may seem superficial and unrealistic, but think about it carefully, the writer has offered you an insight into an educated male like mind. Stop whinging about being single and lose the weight! lol… (oh that’s my dark humour coming out)
ladies. do not change yourself to be more attractive to men. sure there are plenty of men who will break your heart but the man you should want to be with will love you no matter what the circumstances are. you may meet him tomorrow or in five years. but do not rush. rushing will only lead you to the wrong men. be patient and the right one will find you. he wont care how much you weigh, he wont mind if you talk to much, and he won’t care if you arent good in bed because everyone likes something different. and the more comfortable you become, the more you will know about eachother and learn to please eachother. if a man breaks up with you over any of those reasons then honestly you were better off without him.
as for the man who wrote this article. i respect you. you are telling it how it is and i bet you don’t really care if anyone takes your advice considering you dont know any of them. you have your opinions and so does everyone else (obviously just by looking at all the replies). so you keep on believing your point of view and i trully hope you find someone who is good to you. who knows maybe she will be the exact opposite of this article
. but i hope you love her just the same. 
as to my conclusion.. no one can tell someone else who to be and no one should listen. its your own life. do not let someone else take control because i guaruntee you will regret it.
@danii Thank you for your compelling and entertaining feedback.
I believe that when refuse to even consider changing themselves they are likely to do a disservice to themselves. IF there are ways in which we can improve or consider improving ourselves, why not do it? After all, we are the ones who would benefit from it. Isn’t this kind of personal growth what makes life all the more interesting and fulfilling?
having a guy lose interest is definitely a burn to the ego. especially if you’re told you are beautiful, and given all this sugar that you’re perfect just as you are. I know this is hard, but we’re all works in progress. If you tell me I can’t take a joke. That’s your experience with me. But that’s a lot better than being deceived into thinking you are the greatest thing he’s ever had, and then cheated on? No that’s ok, I’d rather have my ego suffer than my heart or good living..
And to the person who wrote this, thank you for your honesty. The dark humour one is my only peeve.. I’m cautioning simply not to use it in vain, otherwise all fair game. That dark humour a lot of times mask a lot of insecurities/issues/etc. I’d like my man to be responsible to his feelings as I am to mine. If I trust you enough to let you “in,” then I should hold you responsible too, no? If you’re not willing to be responsible to yourself, then how to me, my heart, or my … body? lol
@Christie. Thank you for your feedback. I very much agree. Everything is good in moderation, including sarcasm. A person who is sarcastic all the time comes across as either a clown or someone who hides his real self behind that “safe” mask.