Are You A Victim Of Your Own Past Disappointments In Men?

past disappointments in menIf you have any experience in dating and having relationships with guys, I am sure that you have accumulated your own, fair share of frustrations and disappointments in men, and I am also certain that you have many valid reasons to feel dissatisfied with the men’s behavior and conduct. Despite that, I wish to warn you against becoming a victim of your own past disappointments in men and letting them affect your present and future dating life and interactions with the opposite sex.

Many women have a bad luck of dating guys who are not truthful, unfaithful, tight-fisted with money, or jealous, controlling and insecure or even violent. In between having those partners, women go out and encounter some of the cheesiest pick up lines and other kinds of lame attempts by guys to approach and meet them, as well as dealing with guy who are rude and drunk. It’s only natural to lose faith in romance and in meeting that special someone,  but it would be a pity if your generally negative view of men because of your past experience affected your behavior around those few guys who stand out as being better, kinder, more interesting, more respectful and otherwise more worthy dating partners. After all, just because 20 previous guys in your life weren’t as attractive, nice, and honest, doesn’t mean that the next guy isn’t going to be different and better in every way.

A woman might not give out her phone number to a great guy just because some other guy in her past wouldn’t stop calling her no matter how much she tried to let him know that she was not interested. A girl might blow off a guy who approaches her at a bar without any reason, just because two other guys approached her earlier in an inappropriate manner. You might reject a guy’s idea for a first date not because you don’t like what he suggests because you want to show him early on that he can’t tell you what to do, as your ex-boyfriend was trying to control you. These are just a few examples of way that women fall victims to their past dating life by pushing the good dating experience away before they even have a chance to evaluate them and give these other guys and themselves a chance at romance, love, and better connection.

Good men are few and far between, but the reality is that good things of any kind come in small quantities, and finding them takes time and work – this is just the nature of things. Men are not an exception to this rule. But perhaps that’s what makes the rewards of finding a great item in the sea of mediocrity all more special.

So, don’t allow yourself to become a victim of your own dating past. Instead, use your past as valuable lessons from which you learn and whose wisdom you carry with you into your present and future life, but at the same time treating every present and future experience as unique and individual, without making too many premature assumptions about the men you are meeting today and will be meeting tomorrow.

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Practical, effective dating tips and relationship advice.
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Karolina
Karolina
03/11/2011 9:41 pm

I bumped into ur posts accidentally and really admire what u r doing. 😉

Out of curiosity I've read many psychological books about relationships and practical intelligence for instance Goleman's or Karl Albrecht's ones.. but never find so soo many useful tips. Really thanks for ur job and that these articles r available and for free 🙂