Here are top ten reasons you are still single that you might not have heard from your friends or from any dating advice book you have read so far or the dating shows you have been watching:
1. You are still single because you have restrictions on when and where you are willing to meet guys and you don’t meet men when they are sober nearly as often as you should.
“I am not here to meet guys” or “I don’t go to this bar/club/gym to talk to men or be picked up” – I hear women say this all the time, as if they designated specific dates and times for meeting and talking to guys. As we all know, life doesn’t work like this, and things usually happen to us when we least expect it. This applies to speeding tickets as much as it does to meeting people when you are out and about. You are not any more likely to meet a guy when you are all dressed up and sitting with your friends at an upscale lounge, then you would be on your way back from work at a local convenience store. The key is to be open to talking to men wherever you are if you are single, because, as cliche as it may sounds, you never know when and where the right guy will come your way. Restricting your flirting to the going out time – Thursday-Sat from 8 pm to 2 am – will prevent you from seeing and meeting so many guys under far better circumstances – when they are not drunk and aimlessly hang out on the street or in bars, like they do on weekend nights. This doesn’t mean that you can’t meet anyone worthy of your attention at a bar/club, but meeting men when they are sober and when you are sober is a much better proposition or at least something you should not avoid during daytime, when you go about your regular business.
2. You are still single because, like many other women, you lost the ability to make eye contact with men.
It’s hard to make eye contact with strangers. It is especially difficult to look people in the eye today, because we get so much less practice doing it, since we stare into our computer screens and smartphones screens more and more. You must consciously train yourself to keep your eyes on that guy you find attractive for an extra second or two. Eye contact is the most simple, yet the most fundamental and powerful way to communicate your interest without appearing needy or desperate. Maintaining eye contact a little longer than usual will go a long way toward giving that guy who wants to talk to you all the confidence he needs in order to come up to you and talk to you, even if he is not the most confident guy out there. Look around you – how many women make eye contact with men or women? Hardly any. You can use this to your advantage by distinguishing yourself from the rest. This doesn’t mean you have to stare at every guy, but when the opportunity presents itself at the right time and place, you should look back at the guy who is looking at you, instead of looking around and away like most women do, who appear like they are trying to avoid eye contact at all costs.
3. You are still single because you look and act unapproachable.
Looking unapproachable and having the runway model demeanor has been in style for a long time. When you are dressed up and walk down the street confidently with your chin up, it might make you feel like you are projecting strength and confidence, and you are probably right. But this kind of demeanor also pushes many guys away. It intimidates some guys and irritates others. It makes you look disinterested, unapproachable and snobbish. It doesn’t matter whether it’s true or not. The bottom line is that that’s the energy your project to the men around you who can’t help but assume certain things about you based on your behavior. How many girls out there say that they come across as snobbish or unfriendly at first, but once you get to know them they are actually sweet. Why don’t these girls do something about changing that first impression they are making. It will only benefit them and not only with guys, but also in just about every other social or professional setting.
4. You are still single because you are overweight and you refuse to do anything about it.
Oprah, Tyra Banks and alike can talk all they want about the importance of you loving yourself for who you are, regardless of how you look and how much you weigh. However, this is not a solution to the problem of being overweight. Pretending that you are happy with your body will help you somewhat in some social situations and at work, but it’s not going to make you sexually attractive to men, and it certainly not going to make you feel sexy, non matter what kind of lingerie you wear and what kind of make up you put on. Calling this superficial is hypocritical and won’t change anything for you. The truth is we are all superficial. It’s not good or bad. It’s just our nature. You can either accept it and take the tough road of doing whatever it takes to lose weight in order to look and feel better, or you can take the easy but ineffective road – stay the same, refuse to do anything about it, and continue being unattractive to men, while convincing yourself that there is nothing wrong with you, and that men are the ones to blame for not being attracted to you. I strongly urge you to consider the first road. It’s much harder, but also so much more rewarding.
5. You are still single because you avoid going to house parties and similar social gatherings.
House parties are some of the best places to meet people. While in just about any other situation you have to deal with the awkwardness of talking to a stranger, the opposite is true at house parties. There, you have to talk to everyone at least briefly as a matter of social courtesy. You are bound to talk to at least several guys at any house party, and are more likely to make a friend or two or to meet someone who you are romantically interested in than in most other situations. Also, most women’s guards are down at house parties and they are easier to talk to from guys’ perspective. Guys know it very well, and this makes it easier for them to come up and talk to you. They won’t think they are doing anything wrong. They won’t even be hitting on you but simply introducing themselves as guests, as they should. If nothing else, you will practice your social and flirting skills, even if you don’t meet anyone at the party you attend. You should therefore promise to yourself to never decline an invitation to a house party. Yes, you will feel shy and awkward going to the house party full of strangers, but overcoming that awkwardness is part of the fun.
6. You are still single because you talk too much.
Talking too much is one of the biggest and common turn-offs in both men and women. When you talk too much on a date or even before, during one of your first interactions with the guy you met, he will immediately mentally put you in “that” category of girls to avoid because they talk so much. If you are concerned that talking too much is one of your problems, commit to the following rule: don’t talk for longer than 30 seconds in a row. Instead, asking him something or let him share his perspective on whatever you are talking to.
7. You are still single because you sound too forward on your (first) dates.
Such questions as “So… what are you looking for?” or saying “I plan to marry or get pregnant by the end of next year” is a bad idea on your first dates. You may think that these questions are legitimate and they will make you sound like you know what you want, but in reality this kind of forwardness scares guys off – not because they don’t want to settle down or don’t want anything serious, but because they don’t want to talk about their future plans with someone they just met and barely know. I understand – you may not want to waste time on the guys who are not looking for anything serious, and you would rather find out what you need to know sooner than later. However, there are things that you simply can’t force, and asking these kinds of “pivotal” questions is one of them. So, wait with the settling down talk until you get to know each other a little better, and until you actually think that you both like each other enough to even bring that up.
8. You are still single because you have abandoned traditional female/feminine qualities.
No, I don’t suggest that you should stay home and cook/clean all day. On the other hand, if you don’t know how to cook or think that cleaning is beneath you, it will be a red flag to many guys. If being an independent woman means to you that you should completely abandon traditional values and be an ultra-feminist, then you are going to have a hard time finding an attractive guy who can look at you as a long-term relationship material. No matter how open-minded and civilized the men are today, at the end of the day they want to see the feminine in the woman they are with. And the more manly the guy is, the more attracted he is to the more feminine women.
9. You are still single because you prematurely dismiss the guys you meet.
Is he 2 years older than the age range of guys you set for yourself? Is he an inch shorter than the minimum height that you decided would be acceptable to you? Are you not 100% thrilled with his personal style? I urge you to be a little more flexible about the qualities you are looking for in a guy and not conclude that you are not interested in a guy too soon, as you might not know what you are missing out. That guy you met might be missing one quality you were hoping to have in a guy, but he might more than compensate for it in other departments, but you just haven’t discovered yet. Give yourself and him a little more time to get to know each other before you decide whether you should continue seeing each other.
10. You are still single because you have a bad dating profile.
Cheesy or trashy selfies or club photos and a cliche dating profile full of bragging about how wonderful you are is not going to impress that special guy you are interested in meeting. If you are talking to guys on any of the online dating sites, it’s well worth taking a hard look at your profile and asking yourself and your friends (especially male friends) whether there is anything you can do to make your dating profile more interesting and compelling. You may be reluctant to invest too much effort into your profile, but like in any other area of life, your results will be as good as the work you put into it. If you already put yourself out there and posted an online dating profile, you might as well do it right.
If you found the above tips to be useful, make sure you check out our dating advice guide for women for more practical, effective tips on how you can become more attractive to men and dramatically improve your dating life.
