A reader asks:
“I live in a city with nice weather during most of the year and plenty of parks where girls love to sit and hang out for hours. I often think of how to come up to them and talk to them, but I hate to be perceived as someone who is intruding. Do you have any creative idea for approaching and talking to girls in parks/squares?”
First, I totally agree that parks are good places for approaching and meeting women. The environment is safe and relaxing. The girls are not really in a rush to get to work or school and there is no competition, since pretty much no guy would dare to come up to girls in a park. Also, you shouldn’t be afraid of interrupting a conversation between several girls who sit at a park. Chances are high that their conversation is not so critical or urgent that they would have a problem with a guy coming up and talking to them, especially if at least one of them is single and is open to meeting guys.
The other good thing about trying to meet girls in parks is that there is no stigma associated with parks. Unlike meeting girls in bars and clubs, any girl would be proud to tell her friends that she met a guy at a park. It sounds romantic and otherwise “right”. This is the reason that the girls’ guards in parks are usually lower than in other public places during the day.
Here is suggestion for being creative when trying to make a move and meeting girls in parks. Come to a park with a friend and play some kind of game that involves a ball (soccer ball / tennis ball, etc…) or even Frisbee. Then, at some point “accidentally” throw the ball into the area where the girls are hanging out or even hit one of them lightly with a ball so that you have a reason to talk to them / apologize for hitting them with a ball. Then come up to them and try to make any kind of casual conversation. You can start with something as simple as “sorry…. I guess we aren’t that great at this game after all. What are you guys discussing here – global warming or foreign policy?” Then, have you friend slowly come up for “support”. Be ready for initial awkwardness and don’t let it discourage you. They just need a few minutes to warm up to you and get over the initial surprise of being approached, since it almost never happens to girls in parks. You might have to have a brief conversation with them and then leave them alone and go back to your game in order to let them process meeting you. Then you can try to make an eye contact with them 10-15 minutes later and see if there is any sign of them warming up to you and actually wanting you to come back and talk to them again. If so, then you can go up to them again suggest that they join your game. Or, if more convenient and appropriate, you may send you friend to buy a few bottles of of soda or beer at a nearby convenience store and offer the extra ones to the girls. If they accept it, you have a reason to come up and continue your conversation with them. You can then ask them what they are doing for the rest of the day, where they live, where they are from, and all the usual stuff to break the ice.
If you manage to develop a conversation, make sure you that you are not lingering around them for too long, unless it’s very, very clear that they want you to. Otherwise talk to them for 15-30 minutes, then ask them for their contact information, and excuse yourself. Hopefully, during that interaction you will make it somewhat clear which girl you are actually interested in seeing again and you ask her for her tel number.
And, if it any point you notice any kind of dismissive attitude on the girls’ part, where they treat you like some kind of clown or try to bust your balls, finish the conversation immediately and move on, so that the mean kind is reminded of who was really in charge of that interaction.
PH: I’ve heard that for years; it’s so much easier to meet women at a park, at a library, at church, at school, etc. Here’s the problem: women don’t want to be bothered in those places, either.
Like in any other places – some women dream about being bothered in parks, while others (and probably sadly the majority) want guys to stay away from them.