For years now, many dating advice programs, books and videos have been trying to sell this idea to men that there exists a perfect pick-up line – a prefect way to start a conversation with a woman that would work anywhere, every time, and on every woman. However, there are obvious and compelling reasons why there is simply no such thing as a perfect line.
We, men, tend to forget this on occasion, but not all women are alike. Different women respond very differently to the same ice-breaker, depending on their personality, upbringing, beliefs, and many other factors. A pick-up line or a joke that might make one woman laugh, would offend the other, even if delivered in exactly the same way. A topic of conversation that might be fascinating to one woman, can be boring to many others.
Moreover, the same woman might respond very differently to the same guy who is trying to talk to her depending on her mood at that very moment, the time of the day, whether she is stressed out and in a hurry or relaxed, whether she feels safe and comfortable talking to the guy or whether she feels threatened for whatever reason, her dating situation at that moment and her emotional availability, and last but certainly not least – the time of the month. A woman’s response to any type of attempt by a guy to start a conversation with her is inherently unpredictable – even for her. It’s not a good thing or a bad thing; it just is.
Therefore, your way of approaching a woman should not be governed by some strict rules that you may have learned in a popular dating advice book. Your approach should be tailored to the situation. Does this feel like the right time and place for you to say something to her? Do you have anything to say that would be somewhat interesting and relevant to the environment you are in. It doesn’t have to be super special or creative. Even the most simple observation is good enough to break the ice. Of course, at first a woman might be surprised or even started by you talking to her, since it has become less and less common for guys to approach women in real life due to the emergence of all the dating apps that are out there. But, after a few moments of initial awkwardness, if a woman has basic social skills and she is single and available, this should not be an issue.
Your ice breaker might be as simple as pointing out a strong rain or wind while looking out of the window if you are sitting next to each other at any place indoors. Simply looking out and saying loudly enough – “the wind today is crazy” might be enough. And if she says anything in response at all, you should not let that conversation and immediately follow up “- some people love the wind, while others hate. Where do you stand (and why?)” Of course, a very similar conversation can be started about rain, snow, and fog.
Don’t be concerned about the fact that what you say is just too trivial of a small talk. It really doesn’t matter. The purpose of the first thing you say is not to sweep her off her feet or shower her with compliments, but to just start some type of conversation and find out whether you can actually have one. This is way in a typical bar/lounge situation asking “What are you drinking?” while looking at a woman’s drink is so much better than “Can I buy you a drink?” And as soon as she answers, you follow up with “I have never tried it. Is it good?” or “This is one of my favorite. Do you know how to make it at home?” And, if you have any other actual examples (that worked) of starting a conversation with a woman by using a relevant topic, feel free to share below for every reader’s benefit.
Not surprisingly, the same principle of starting a conversation applies to online dating. You may put an effort into writing a unique message to a woman. Depending on who that woman is and how she fees when reading your message, she may find it witty and interesting or annoying or she might not make of it much at all.
I suppose the same principle applies to many other aspects of life – there is truly no such thing as a perfect diet, perfect job, perfect exercise routine, and perfect schedule. It only has to be perfect for you, for that specific point in your life.