Insecurities with women is one of the biggest challenges and barriers in a man’s road toward having a better dating life. In order to overcome and eliminate those insecurities with women, it is essential to understand what their source is. While surely there is more than one factor that affect’s a man’s confidence and self-esteem with women, my observations clearly suggest that the single greatest cause of insecurities that guys have with women is guilt – they feel guilty about what they want from women.
Most guys, especially in the western parts of the world, have experienced meeting, going out and even trying to date those women who have been confused and traumatized by their past negative dating experiences. A typical woman in the modern world has been lied to, cheated on and have been disappointed in guys for other reasons time after time. As a result, many of those women become extremely jaded. Many of them develop general resentment toward the male kind as a whole. They start believing that all men are lying, cheating pigs who only want one thing. When you meet such a woman, you will notice that her shields/guards against being approached are unusually high. It’s clear that she assumes the worst about every guy she meets from the very beginning until and unless proven otherwise. Such a woman would act as if she was doing you a favor by talking to you. Soon after you meet her, she will start complaining to you about men. She will make it clear to you that she considers it generally inappropriate for a guy to “hit” on women and pick them up. She will likely come across as uptight. She might even appear frigid, having her sexual nature repressed by all the bad things that happened between her and the men she dated before.
When a guy meets such women over and over, he starts believing that what he wants – approaching, attracting, flirting and having sex is indeed wrong, and something he should be ashamed of. This means that the biggest likely reason for your insecurities with women is that your environment and some women have been making you feel guilty about what you want on the most primal biological level – making a move on a girl, approaching her, complimenting her, talking to her, asking her out, and eventually trying to have sex with her.
I wish to urge you against developing such a line of thinking. You must not allow those women who are clearly victims of their past bad dating experiences turn you into an insecure guy who feels that he is doing something wrong when he feels sexually attracted to a woman. You must remember this somewhat cliche but important truth about human kind. If it wasn’t for pick-up and dating – if it wasn’t for our fathers making a move on our mothers, none of us would be here today.
It’s a shame that such terms as “hitting on a girl,” “pick up,” and “meat market” have such a negative connotation in our society when in fact these are some of the more exciting and beautiful things that life has to offer, if done right. What is wrong with all of the above? “Hitting on a girl” means trying to meet her. “Pick up” means essentially the same. And “meat market” means nothing other than a certain social environment that facilitates people’s ability to meet each other for flirting, dating, and sex. I see nothing wrong with any of the above things. And you shouldn’t either.
So what does this mean to you? It means that in order to overcome or not even let those kind of insecurities affect your behavior with girls, you must stay away from the above-mentioned kind of women. Spending any time with a woman who doesn’t make you feel welcome, who doesn’t seem to be genuinely interested in your company, and who perceives you as a “dog” who only wants to have sex with her, is very damaging to your confidence and self-esteem, and will lead to you developing all kinds of insecurities. Instead, you must stay away from those women and seek the company of those women whose open feminine demeanor, desire to be courted and romanced, and strong female sexuality make you feel like a man. You should be looking the kind of women who are flattered by your sexual desire for them and who actually want you to act on it. This is the kind of women who will not only help you overcome your insecurities and will remind you that what you want from women is natural and beautiful.