What Does It Mean Being a Classy Woman?

classy womanWomen keep hearing over and over from guys in different situations that men want to date and have relationships with a classy woman. Just take a look at most of the men’s dating profiles, and you will see that practically all of them want to meet and date a woman who has “class.” Indeed, being called “classy” is an ultimate compliment to a woman. But, what does it really mean being classy? After searching the internet for an answer to this question, I wasn’t very satisfied, because every attempt to define a “classy woman” had one fundamental flaw. A woman can have all the qualities that make her classy according to those sources and still not  have much class. The formal definition of being “classy” also doesn’t add much to understanding what class means in the context of dating and attraction.

For instance, being a sharp dresser, clean, and not using profanities are certainly qualities that flatter to a woman, but… they hardly make her come across as having “class,” if she talks too much and constantly draws attention to her persona. Being professional, educated, and having a great sense of humor are very attractive qualities in a woman. However, if she has temper issues this pretty much cancels out her potential to come across as classy.

I truly believe that just like in the case of distinction between flirting and regular conversation, being classy is not in the “what” but in the “how.” It’s how you act, how you carry yourself, how you express yourself and how you live your life that determines class. A very small minority of women who don’t have a lot of  class are able to develop that quality and become truly classy. Doing this requires reflecting on your own self, recognizing those qualities that you are missing and having which would make you more classy (something that few, if any women, would want to do) and working in all the necessary directions to build that attractive flair of class and sophistication.

However, if you believe that you belong to that minority of women who are open to constructive self-criticism and you are willing to take a few practical steps toward becoming more classy, here are some of the fundamental elements of a woman’s personality that makes her more “classy:”

1. Being a Classy Woman Means Having Broad Formal and “Real Life” Education, Wit, and Sense of Humor

There is no way around it – perceived class has little weight and value if the person behind it has no interesting thoughts, opinions, views or observations. Being a classy woman requires an ability to share and challenge ideas and be an engaging company. This doesn’t mean that you have to argue or try to prove that you are right all the time. You do have to be able to possess a degree of sense of humor and wit, and enjoy playful banter, as it’s an integral part of flirting and intellectual foreplay.

2. Being A Classy Woman Means Having Real Style

A sense of fashion is an integral part of class. While having an eclectic style may be considered “cool,” if you want to come across as a classy dresser, you can hardly go wrong with a business/casual look or a simple, clean cut, fitting (but not too fitting) attire. Simple, straight colors (white, black, blue) flatter most women. Following temporary, mediocre fashion trends and fads certainly does not add to being classy. This doesn’t mean that you have to look boring or that you always have to blend in, but it does mean that you should not look like someone who is dying for attention for those who are around her at any cost.

So many women (and men of course) out there are trying so hart to stand our and be different in all the wrong ways. Green/orange/blue hair, tattoos and piercings all over or otherwise looking like a girl with a dragon tattoo might help you express your individuality but they are surely not a sign of being classy or sophisticated.

3. Being A Classy Woman Means Having Feminine Demeanor and Manners

A classy woman is in touch with her femininity. Her mission in life is not in challenging men and competing with men wherever possible; she enjoys pleasing men without feeling ashamed of it, and is proud to be a woman. She recognizes the differences between men and women in psychology, physiology and sexuality and accepts those differences as laws of nature. As such, she does not hate men, and is not overly skeptical or pessimistic about her ability to fall in love and enjoy great romance.

4. Being a Classy Woman Means Being Elegant

This concept, along with femininity and style is hard to define, and the formal definition of “elegance” is again of not much use. Many guys would know elegance when they see it, but this kind of statement is of little use to a woman who wants to become more elegant. Elegance is the manner in which a woman carries her self in just about every situation. Elegance is in her voice, movement and body language, manner of speech, the way she stands sits, and responds to other people around her. Some of these traits, such as voice, and a walk – are part of our nature, while other elements of elegance, such as our interpersonal skills are strongly linked to our upbringing. Other qualities are acquired through habit or from friends and not all of them can be altered. Observing women who are known to be classy (whether on television or in real life), paying attention and trying to identify the specific elements of the behavior and actions that make them stand out and come across as more classy will take any woman who is willing to become more classy a long way toward that goal. It might be something as small and seemingly insignificant as a laughter of an actress that you would notice in a woman that strikes you as so much softer, feminine and attractive than the one you overheard the other night at a bar from a woman, whose entire body was covered with tattoos and piercings. However, when it comes to elegance and class, there is no such thing as small and insignificant. After all. being classy is a sum of many, many elements of one’s personality, behavior, and actions, some of which are more obvious than others, but all of which are essential for the “total package” to be considered elegant and classy.

5. A Classy Woman Knows the Importance of Subtlety

This is one of the most important qualities and distinguishing characteristic of having class. To be classy, you must be subtle in many areas of your life. Subtlety implies a degree of moderation, lack of flamboyance,  lack of impulse to attract attention, and generally not trying too hard. A subtle woman has style but she doesn’t look like a designer model. She dresses sexy but does not look trashy like a typical stripper when going out; she puts such a small amount of perfume and make-up that one can barely tell that she has any; she talks just enough but certainly not too much and tends to be on a quite side; her laughter is pleasant to hear but not too loud; she hardly ever swears; and her voice is soft and sensual. A classy woman will usually come across as “low-key” in a social situation. This is not to say that she is shy or lacking confidence. On the contrary – her confidence puts her at ease and relieves her of any desire or need to validate herself to her company.

6. A Classy Woman Knows that Success is More Attractive when Coupled with Modesty and Humbleness

A woman who has true class and strong sense of self does not need to run around and tell everyone how smart and successful she is, whether it’s in “real” life, or on Facebook, LinkedIn, OkCupid or anywhere else. This urge to validate yourself through bragging is a clear sign of insecurity and of not being classy in both men and women. A classy woman lets her actions, rather than words, prove to others who she is, and she is not in a hurry to announce to everyone around how great she is. Whether she is at a job interview or on a date, a classy girl is not going to act like she is God’s gift to this world or to the person who she is talking to.

7. A Classy Woman Understands When Showing Pride Is Appropriate

A classy woman knows how to get angry the “right” way. She doesn’t get “ballistic,” abusive or violent with guys unless the circumstances really justify this kind of extreme response, which is very rare, as she knows that there is always a better option – to simply walk away from a bad situation.

The above seven points do not fully define what being a classy woman means, but they are surely a great start on your personal journey toward becoming a more attractive woman to those qualities guys who you are interested in meeting.

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  • hidayah nsz

    True

  • Batphink Reynolds

    Helene very well stated!

  • Batphink Reynolds

    Class is NOT about how much money she has or the latest trendiest fashion though dressing modern is appealing to a man.I am very sad to report that I have met very few class women since I moved to Ontario Canada,perhaps it’s the small working class towns ? I am unsure.I know they are out there somewhere….. A classy woman is truly a rare gem and just as valuable and an object or rather person worthy of adoration.In a nutshell a classy woman is one who knows herself and carries herself at least as somewhat of a lady,does not or uses minimal profanity,is intelligent but not conceited and she likes being a woman.That’s it really ,we’re not all after perfection just a little elegance and manners!

  • None

    Class is the ability to make anyone you’re with feel comfortable.

  • Helene Dean

    Class isn’t what you look like or how you dress it is how you approach people in life. It’s about respect and being genuine. It’s about being true to yourself without punishing others who don’t agree with your ideas and your opinions and your outlook on life. It is about compassion and kindness. It is about treating people the way that you would like to be treated yourself. It has nothing to do with fashion or trends or blue hair or tattoos.

  • Yes, Tammy. I think that’s the way to go. There is no point in holding onto the past, so if the person has changed and the partner should do what they can to let the past go if they care about the person and love her the way she is now.

  • Tammy

    Question: Do you hold one’s past behind them if they have changed, and have turned into a classy woman

  • Thanks for your input. The differences between sexes cannot be denied and maybe the label “bias” is not correct. It’s ok to have differences, even if they don’t apply in every case and even if there are plenty of exceptions. The articles doesn’t say that a woman should talk less than a woman; it only says that she shouldn’t be talking too much, as it can be annoying. The same is true about men.
    Women can combine taking care of their health, career and other aspects of life while working on or remaining classy. These are not mutually exclusive things. In fact, being classy can help a woman succeed in just about every other avenue of life, including attracting better romantic, professional and social opportunities.

  • Alik Kaspr

    Physical and physiological dfferences between men and women are so obvious that no one in their mind will not refuse recognizing them. Psychological differences are often artificially exaggregated by socium and if you take them as “laws of the nature” it will only support all kinds of gender based violence, primarily violence against women, but also violence against not-“manly” and young men.
    Really smart person of any sex and gender understands that there are no two opposite “male” and “female” types of mind, but rather there is a continuous spectrum, and all kinds of biological-genetical-social factors determine each person’s place in it.
    There are studies demonstrating that when women talk exactly the same amount of time men do, women are considered “drawning attention” and “aggressive”, while men don’t.
    This article suggests a woman should talk less than men, shouldn’t aggressively protect herself and her achievements and work results in the professional enviroment, should avoid all kinds of conflicts (“go away of the bad situation”) but still somehow should have a high prof. position. How is it possible? If you will just leave any job where you get problems on recognizing your achiewements, you will never make a career.
    Instead of trying to be classy women should worry about being more confident, financially successful and simply safe and healthy. That what will provide you all other things, like satisfying relationships, happy eld and good future for your children. Not being “classy”.

  • Of course. No one should ever suggest that money makes a person classy. It can help but it can also hurt, i.e. in cases where money makes people act in an overly showy / flashy way, which is pretty much an antithesis to being classy.

  • Nenad Maric

    All true, except that status is not based soley on economic status. I know many people who are not financially “successful” and yet have more “class” than those who appear to have higher economic status. It all based on how one is reared .. along being well educated.

  • Sis Sandra Kendell

    I feel that class is something that America and the men of the world have established. With the idea of high class comes its reverse…low class…. all of which fall into a certain category of humanness and correct living. When we talk about class most of the time it is highlighting the status of a woman…. which is why I say this is a man made word used to define a certain type woman. For me…I don’t define women that I see whom appear to fit the category as classy but rather I say what is implied and I say…..” that woman knows GOD, she loves and lives HIS word, and in many ways she fears her God”. In the same light when I see men to whom the world would classify as classy again, I say the same thing, “that man knows GOD, He loves and lives His word, and in many ways HE fears God” it is clear! In essences no man or woman is anything void of some sort of (revealed) example to follow…Many men and women that have appeared to be hIgh class and or low class have actually in reality been neither in the eyes of GOD. Class is a man made status that really is biased based on economic status as well education. Mother Theresa was a class act proven by GOD in every sense of the word as we know it.

  • Well said. I wish more people (both men and women were aware of this).

  • Arthur

    It is low class to fiddle with your phone constantly in the presence of other people. It is a sign of disrespect. If you need to work, rather go to your office and dont do it in the company of others.

  • J.a. Ct

    I never suggested not owning a mobile phone (i.e. non-smart phone device). However, smart phones are a big, unnecessary distraction. Many people do not know the proper way to moderate its’ usage. A man recently fell to his death because he could not put away his smart phone. I constantly see people walking with their face down on their smart phone clipping others on sidewalks. I watch people sit at higher end restaurants texting while ordering, eating, etc. Never mind the retailers that now intentionally track smart phones down to aisle and location within aisle. Social media works to play with our self-esteem and emotions. Businesses understand the psychology behind such means.

    A high-value person is an independent, self-sufficient person. They are not in need of a smart phone nor social media for validation. This is refinement and class.

  • J.a. Ct

    Not really. A smart phone is usually a huge distraction and toy.

  • I agree that not owning a phone today is unrealistic and it hardly says you are classy. But knowing when to put it away and focus on what you are doing or the person you with is quite a important and a major sign of class these days.

  • Lorrie

    Having a smart phone is simply keeping up with technology. That’s as ridiculous as saying a refined person doesn’t own a cell phone, but uses only a rotary phone. Refined is one thing; being old fashioned is another.

    Also, many multi million+ dollar businesses use social media all the time. Social media is a must for many businesses.

  • Interesting question. Ignoring some such people is one option, while remembering that giving them a peace of mind is rarely effective. They are rarely going to change. But if you do choose to tell them what you think – do you it calmly and rationally. They might still get defense or explode in your face and that’s out of your control, and you will take that risk if you choose to engage.

  • Greg

    Very interesting point of view

  • Great point about trying to win every argument being a sign of insecurity. This is more common among guys, but is well worth being aware of and making sure you don’t act that way.

  • FinalFireman

    I’d say you shouldn’t tell them off at all, unless it leads to a tangible result. The need to win every argument shows insecurity. When someone is rude ignore them, instead of trying to show how witty you are. When someone disrespects you, realize they are beneath you.

  • Good question. First, it’s perfectly fine to be emotional or get angry. We are all humans after all and it there is no need for anyone to become a robot. The key is “how” you express your opinion. Do you attack them or do you make a suggestion in a civil and calm way?
    The problem in this society is that in many cases where you would just make a suggestion, people will get super defensive, and will get in your fact attacking you. That’s a cultural thing, at least here in San Francisco Bay Area. If that’s the case, then you better be walking away and not starting a conflict unless you really have to engage to protect some kind of personal interest.

  • T.A

    Reading it everyday, I’m a work in progress. However had a little doubt- there are always some people out there who get on your nerves, in the sense that they behave rudely on small things or for instance if someone is trying to pick a fight with you or disrespecting you- how do you walk away from that without giving them a piece of our brain? how do still be classy while telling them off? because how could you keep quiet and walk away when someone is disrespecting you? Please advise!

  • Well said! Granted it’s a tall order, but perhaps that’s what makes those women who fit this description all the more special.

  • J.a. Ct

    Class is mastering the art of subtility. Our society has lost sight of this. A refined person does not own or rarely uses their smart phone (i.e. not face down texting or surfing all the time) and does not spend much time on social media. They know how to dress smartly and seductively leaving much to the imagination without exposing too much, They are worldly, educated and funny- expressed in a way that enlightens, They handle conflict with grace and respect with the other party. Such a person also has mastered ettiquette such as fine dining. We watch these people because it is all in their actions.

  • J.a. Ct

    There is no passivity. It is how one approaches the situation. Lead by example, not words. You’d be surprised how effective actions truly are.

  • ClassyElle

    Patience and hard work!

  • I like what you guys are up too. Such clever work and exposure!
    Keep up the superb works guys I’ve incorporated you guys to my blogroll.

  • Great idea. I will probably write an article on what it means being a classy men in the nearest future.

  • The best definition I've ever heard on classy tnks

  • Thanks for your thoughts. Many people confuse knowing how to take constructive criticism constructively and knowing how to handle tough love with being cold and indifferent, but there is a big different. A person who is cold or indifferent doesn't really listen. He doesn't care what you say or ignores you altogether. A classy woman (or a guy for that matter) listens and tries to benefit from what he hears, if possible.

  • @Cathy – Thank you for your kind words, and I am glad you found the article to be useful. Indeed, part of being classy is not referring to yourself as one. To me – when I hear someone say that they are classy, it's a first and a fairly reliable indicator that they are not, because saying that about yourself just like pretty much any other kind of bragging is incompatible with the whole notion of being classy.

  • Cathy

    Thank you for this article. I was recently described as classy by a married male acquaintance and was surprised. I've never considered myself classy. Have been called trash a couple times, but know that's not true (especially considering the source.) I asked my ex-husband if he ever considered me classy. He said I was very classy. Who knew? So I Googled "what makes a woman classy" and of the many articles, I chose yours to read, and was enlightened. Seems that being classy involves a certain amount of respect for yourself and those around you. I loved the diamond analogy either in your article or in the comments. Many of the comments were useful in gaining an understanding, too. Thank you all!

  • Thanks, Will. I hope more women get to read this article. Whether the agree with it in part or in whole, or disagree, it sill still be food for thought and something for them to wonder about.

  • Thanks. I can't imagine that defining the term "classy" necessarily involves a number of different aspects of one's personality and behavior. Just having manners, or only having style, or only being modest, without the other elements is not going to make a woman classy. It's the combination of hte qualities that makes a woman classy.

  • Thanks.

  • Cris

    I think one of the most important aspects of being classy involves generosity of spirit towards others, especially towards people who cannot do anything for her.

  • Anonymous

    Comments from a 45 year old male (Amercian who has spent nearly half of his life living, studying and working abroad)…. I found the article to be both interesting & humorous. When a man refers to a classy woman, he's typically implying the sort of woman he would be proud to introduce to his parents, friends, colleagues and other business professionals.

    Whether she's confident or somewhat insecure doesn't really matter (although she should have a good education and be somewhat informed on international affairs or at least know her geography). She naturally should be attractive to her male counterpart, but be equally intelligent or witty…

    A real woman who simply "fits in"! Someone who can take it easy, hang out, take part in sports, sweat, dress down, dress up, relax, talk and act how she wishes with respect to the situation and with anyone of all ages, races or nationalities. A woman who respects the environment and others, and has a positive view on most things is very often highly regarded.

    These are just some of the many characteristics which make up a classy woman which most of you are!

  • Thank you for pointing out the typo. It has just been corrected. The term “classy” is indeed difficult to define, and I am sure that my description here is far from being exhaustive. At the same time, I am not sure if the term itself is a slang. Is there a more formal term that would be considered a synomym?

  • Kathy

    Oops! Edit the phrase: “wipes her knows.” Change to “wipes her nose.” I think you demonstrate an understanding of the qualities that make women attractive to men. I am not a fan of the word “classy”, as it is slang. I do appreciate your effort to put into words what men might naturally sense, but cannot easily describe.

  • Paige

    Thank you Universe for giving me a brain, looks, and an unshakable sense of self! Thank you for giving me the mental fortitude and strength to never allow myself to fall into such a deppressing existence. I thank you for giving me an adventurous free spirit which allows me to thrive outside the "Stepford" mold described in this article. I pity those who feel it necessary to lose themselves female and or male in order to fit the qualifications of an image defined by the invisible entity called "society" which out of its false sense of entitlement and narcotic delusions of grandeur feel it necessary to define individual according to their own warped sense of importance.

  • woman’s perspective

    @frank,

    translation: she was politely declining your invitation in a way in a way that she thought would be gentle on your feelings. ‘no thank you’, ‘I’m not interested’, etc. might sound hurtful. If a women is interested, she’ll make herself available.

  • Joseph

    As a guy I can tell you that much of this article nails the problem with modern women which was nonexistent as recently as the 80s. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that right through the 1980s, you still had girls who were raised by pre-Baby Boomer parents.

    Great job trying to explain something that is difficult to articulate, yet something you pick up on instantly within seconds of meeting somebody.

    Now, all you need is a guide for men: what does it mean to be a respectable man? It would involve dressing like a man (tucked in with good shoes), knowing when not to talk, and behaving in a way that would make women look up to you and trust you (not trying to score).

  • practicalhappiness.c

    @ Joseph
    That's a great idea. Thank you. That will be my next article. I wonder if I should call it "What does it mean being a classy man" or something else?

  • zorba

    Nice read

    This is not about women..take girl or women from the text and add men or boy so the equation also gives = classy men ..

    But the thing is the existence needs a balance,being classy does''nt mean that you have to get a classy partner,the other needs to be some one with nuances fragrance who can explore you to unknown leaps ..

  • Suzie

    My husband suggested I update my wardrobe to a more "classy attire". At first, I was offended, but, then I took a deeper look, and thought,"maybe he was trying to help me." Anyway, I cleaned out my wardrobe & replaced my favorite dress pants / sweaters/sweatshirts/jeans/tshirts with skirts/dresses & suits. Since then, my husband has given me several compliments. I have also been getting "hit on" by men that do not care that I am married. It feels as if men are looking at me with disrespect-almost like they think I am purposely bringing attention to myself-when that is "not the case". So..now I have to look at my husband. He wears jeans/tshirts/sweatshirts every day. Would it be right or "fair" for me to suggest he update his wardrobe? I am feeling a little resentful as he still wants me to go about daily chores (mowing, weeding, gardening, laundry, housecleaning, etc) with these dressy clothes on. I also work part-time taking care of the ederly & it is not easy bathing, cleaning & cooking for them in this attire. My husband works outdoors & I don't care if he wears comfortable clothing. So, not sure I agree with this & am starting to wonder if my husband is a little too vain for my style? I hoped to be loved for what was on the inside not for this materialistic stuff. I realize I am not perfect, however, I am a very clean, friendly & smart woman (graduated from college with a 4.0). I didn't realize wearing jeans or dress pants meant I was not classy. I felt better about myself the old way & am thinking about changing back. Any suggestions?

  • Lista

    This entire article is appalling. When does class become synonymous to passive?
    Whoever wrote this has no inkling of what class is.

  • Julie

    Thank you for bringing to the attention of those interested in improving a “style” that will never go out of fashion and wherein if people can impress upon each other a “beauty” that is admired “class” is a classic expression of grace. God is Love and grace is part of God’s design. We are each imparting in one another that we have a potential to eminate beauty if we do not become frightened to evolve to a softer flow of grace, love, and class towards what God designed man and woman to be “valued.”

  • practicalhappiness.c

    @Leocat
    It's funny that you mention that. I know it is been commonly suggested that we shouldn't be judging others, but I think that often judging is a googd thing. It's a part of life. It's an ability that we were given and it's quite useful. Besides, can we really avoid judging even if we wanted to? I doubt it.

  • Leocat

    practicalhappines.com: Please forgive me for overlooking the obvious! I get so REPULSED by people who wear such baggy pants that are 5 sizes too big and let their underwear show! These low-lifes seem to wear these as a badge of pride of being low-class. I try so hard not to be judgmental, but this looks SO disgusting! Apparently, and sadly, these types just don't care how they look except to be "in" with the low-life crowd. Thank you for allowing me to express myself. 🙂

  • Leocat

    practicalhappiness.com: It seems as though true classiness has been eclipsed by low-class behavior and sense of style in our culture. I consider myself classy because I try to dress in flattering but not flamboyant attire and try to treat others the way I want to be treated. However, I see far too many women (and men, for that matter), who sport piercings and tattoos and think that that is stylish. I HATE those things, except for ear piercings, which seem much more subtle. Elegant or casual style does not need to be "in your face." Swearing, except in much moderation, and only when the occasion truly calls for it, is also a no-no. Conducting yourself with dignity and self-respect will usually convey to others that they should treat you respectfully, too, unless, of course, you happen to have the misfortune of being around people who are of the low-life variety, who have no clue what that means. One can steer clear of these types by cultivating relationships with positive and inspiring people who will encourage you and support you as well as appreciate you. That may not be easy, and takes some time and work, but if one makes it a priority, it can be done. Of course, by dressing stylishly and sexily is an art, but needs to be done in moderation and not convey flashiness, such as how a street walker would dress, but would display a sense of dignity and self-respect. Dress alone does not make one classy; there are many celebrity types (but thankfully, not all of them) who have come from humble beginnings and think that because they have all the glam and material assets, that they are classy. Not the case! Then there are those like myself, who are poor to middle class who struggle to make something worthwhile of ourselves and who aspire to do something wonderful to leave as a positive legacy when we are gone. I feel that this is real class. I do not put myself out as a saint, but I feel that people who aspire to do something altruistic in the world as opposed to hoarding a vast amount of wealth for themselves, are the true classy ones. Mind you, a certain amount of money is good and necessary to do good and expand one's options, but it should not be one's top priority. The world does not value altruism and sincere kindness, but desperately needs it. Our cold and cruel world needs more people who aspire to become something greater by giving of themselves and their resources, if they have it, so that others who are less fortunate may benefit. That is what true class, in my humble opinion, is really about.

  • practicalhappiness.c

    Very intereseting. I can't help but think of Jennifer Lopez – someone who is attractive physically and very accomplished professionally, yet whose ways of talking, the Bronx accent and mannerisms probably make her less than a true lady in the eyes of many.

  • Pompeii

    Absolutely. Recently, I was reflecting on how most men/women juxtapose sexiness and elegance as being equivalent to one another. For example: Marilyn Monroe was extremely sexy, but Jackie Onassis was without argument, was the epitome of class/elegance. Mrs. JFK's style is still impactful and the most talked about to this day, oppose to Marilyn's. By no means is my opinion designed to defame Ms. Monroe's image at all, just making an example of "the misinterpreted". Another example of class/elegance in the men catagorie: Mr. Cary Grant. Cary dressed simple, comfortable and with finesse. His fabrics were very superior in quality as well. The biggest element that he is most talked about to this day is, HUMILITY. (LOL) So again as we see, authentic class is not merely external, but internal. ( By the way I'm only 31 years old) )lol). Love this topic, keep it coming. Thanks!

  • practicalhappiness.c

    @Pompeii
    I wholeheartedly agree. Humiliaty is an integral aspect of class and true confidence. As they say – nothing makes success more impressive than when it's coupled with humiliaty. I will have to update the article to include this important point.

  • Pompeii

    According to my perspective, this article is extremely edifying for men/women. I agree that "class" is a collection of all elements mentioned. Class/elegance is reflected through everything, the type of: vehicle, furniture, house, friends, book literature, shampoo, travel, simplicity, neatness, subtleness, conversation, education, food preference, hosery, body posture, tone of voice and most of all humility. I think humility is the biggest element that's missing, when it comes to women. (especially if she is attractive)

  • Amy

    Thanks for the feedback, glad we are along the same lines and views on this. When reading it just seemed more of a focus on image since there was more detail on that. But seeing you going in depth with this more I can definitely agree with you and appreciate your response.

  • practicalhappiness.c

    @Amy
    Thanks for your comments. I will address just a few points. Surely, how you carry yourself comes from within to an extent, but there are things that are purely external, that can be easily changed for a woman to at least appear classy. Of course, these things alone will not make her classy, but as pointed out in the article, being classy is a combination of things.
    Proving yourself is great, but showing it the right way without chest beating and without being over the top "in yo face" aggressive is an art and an integral part of being classy. Class is not loud – it doesn't demand attention. Accomplishment is all the more impressive when coupled with humility. This doesn't mean being overly submissive (although knowing how and when to be submissive the right way flatters any woman).
    The stereotypical female soldiers and FBI agents hardly qualify as lady, but there are plenty of women out there who hold traditionally male positoins who carry themselves in a feminine and classy manner. I hate to bring this example, but Condoleeza Rice inevitably comes into mind. I of course don't mean her political ways or views, but purely her behavior, mannerisms and voice on TV.

  • Amy

    I agree to this article in some ways… but I feel like the writer kind of contradicted herself.

    Stating that classy is how you carry yourself– but yet the writer made a list, and seems like it's more based on image and how you present yourself. How you carry yourself comes from within… It can't really be taught.

    Also how to dress a certain way or look a certain way does not justify your class or lets you know that you're a female. There are rich snobby girls who dress nice and have perfect hygiene and yet have the ugliest personalities.

    I think being classy is a person who is strong. A person who has their heart and head in the right places. Has good morals. Naturally with those traits, classiness will be shown effortlessly. So will being polite and showing manners.

    A strong mind won't have to follow society and what's the "in thing", like being a slut from the show "Jersey Shore". Or even follow this article to "try" to be classy. Most of these things should be common sense.

    You shouldn't be weak enough to have the social environment that's surrounds you affect you and to define your level of class. Life is all about balances. So you do need a little bit of everything, but you also need that edge that I do not see in this article.

    Also I disagree where she states about not proving yourself. Are you trying to teach us to be submissive after how many decades of women fighting for our rights? It's not proving anything but about gaining respect. Also what about when we helped out during the war? Did that make women less classy? There is a time and place to state things. But obviously (common sense), know when to speak up, and know when not to.

    I'm a tomboy and where she states "Feminine demeanor and manners" I have to disagree a bit. I know how to be a woman obviously, and I know my place and role as a female. I don't try to compete but honestly in this day and age, most guys aren't even men let alone gentlemen and yet demand a woman, lady, or a classy one for that matter? Where I feel like I have the bigger "balls" than they do. Ever hear the saying, "he made a woman out of me" well now it's more like, "he made a man out of me".

    A real man would make a woman feel like a woman even if she's a tomboy, and when a man makes a woman feel good, she will want to be the best woman she can be for him.

    If she's single, like I said, it's how she carries herself that defines being a lady or classy, and it's how she thinks, and views things. It's how she acts in situations, good and bad. Not like what you see on TV or movies, again you're just looking at image. Pretending to be classy still does not make you classy. It contradicts what classy is.

    Also what about the women who serve our country? Our female soldiers, would they be considered to never be classy? Or female CIA, FBI agents, or females cops to name a few. Cause looking at this article, seems like they violated a few things listed here.

    Honestly this article does seem like something written in the 50's. This article is unrealistic in this day and age. Like I said before, it's about having your heart and mind in the right place (good morals) that makes you a good classy person in general. I doubt people with good morals and have their mind in the right place would be trashy, or have bad hygiene, and have bad manners…

    Common sense people! Which sadly many don't have.

  • Its true. I agree with a lot said here, but the part where you have to take every nasty and ugly attitude men dish out. I respect everyone a lot, so I demand the same from men. And besides – I am a competitive woman. If not, I wouldn't be the head of an organisation currently, where there are too many men.

  • Frangeni

    Incredible and clear perspective. Thank you very much, I took note of all points to use as life tools to guide my sister in best path of life. Blessings!!!

  • Bill

    Very thoughtful perspective.

  • HTR

    Thank you for your points of view everyone.

  • practicalhappiness.c

    Thanks for your feedback. I think that admitting to ourselves that we are all a little bit shallow and it's part of our nature can serve us well in dating and other things.

  • Sophia

    I like this article, sad that class is so hard to find. Much of what it’s really about is having good ethics and a mature spirit. A classy person, be it male or female, will have a peacefulness about them, bringing a calmness that is strong enough that others feel it in their own soul. Being around such a person is easy, pleasant, and restful. Some people find this boring?… I can’t understand that, what’s boring about the feeling of being on a tropical vacation all the time??

  • mary

    yikes! Reading this….I'm definitely not classy. 🙁 I've sweared, competed w/ men, and wear too much make-up. Is it too late to change my image? I wish I could be classy!

  • Great article. A classy woman just needs a balance and not too much of the flaws. Classy is also an image portrayed to the public. Everyone doesn't have to know you have a temper because classy women don't have temper tandrums in Public. But great read. Love it!

  • frank

    met a lady educated traveled single never married no children 42 asked her for lunch sometime she said for professional reasons she could not do that what does she mean she is a state employee she had a side to her that seemed very feminine but her attitude changed only after a few fove minute talks at her jobsite i was very disappointed found it hard to let go she seems unusual im not professional average working man been married 30 yrs ago have a daughter32 feel i may never meet someone like her again

  • Will

    Not too many classy women exist, much less single ones. I'm not covetous of their husbands, but it would really help to have more classy women out there. The last one I pursued around my age(25) was taken up by another several years ago. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. My solution is for more girls to read this article! 😀

  • Orexy

    I agree that a classy woman mustn’t respond to anger in a loud and violent way. As a matter of fact, I think that this article is very helpful and a woman who isn’t classy and wants to be should respond positively to constructive criticism.

  • practicalhappiness.c

    Well, I don't think the article suggests that a woman should be mostly silent (it would be boring indeed). It only warns against talking too much.

  • A Man

    Am I the only one who thinks that if this is class, classy is boring. I mean seriously, A woman who is mostly silent sounds like someone I don’t want out on a date!

    I’d rather have a rebel woman. It just makes me want her more.

  • practicalhappiness.com

    Good point about dresses. Although I don’t think that dress v. pants is what makes a woman classy or not classy. There are plenty of ways to be female and feminine when wearing pants, and of course there are plenty of ways to look sexy in jeans / leggings, etc… Dresses do seem to be underused this day and age and when I see a “real” dress on the street, it’s quite refreshing.

  • Southern Lady

    Thank you for sharing your research on the subject. It was an interesting story and like any wise woman, I will take what I can use and apply the rest to a good read.

    @ practicalhappiness.com, I agree with your statement Manners and open-mindedness are essential qualities to being classy but not in and of themselves.

    This is the same as effectively listening to another person. We can agree to disagree without being rude.

    And lastly, my opinion is the words, feminist and classy can be equally “dumb words” just on opposite ends of the spectrum!

  • Kaylee

    This is a very good article, and I realize that you are talking about “classy” in regards to women. But, you have missed a very important part about being a “classy” woman that is so basic in nature to being female.

    If you’ll notice the woman’s photo you have with this article, what is THE most basic consideration of this pic? She’s wearing a dress! She’s not wearing pants is she? Why? Because she’s a woman!!!

    I’m a girl! I wear dresses and skirts because that’s who I am. I’m proud to say that I’m a girl, and you will never see me wearing pants! Why? Because I’m a girl! There are to be sure certain differences between male and female, and yet the feminist ideal has been trying to destroy these differences for a long time!

    And men, to make my point clear, when your looking at a woman is she more feminine, sexy and girly in a dress… or in pants!?

  • practicalhappiness.com

    Thanks for sharing your view. I don’t think the article urges women to constantly please guys or to never get angry at guys or be the shy girl in the corner. At least I don’t see it being written. Perhaps you assume what is not written based on what you thought the author meant when he actually didn’t.

    Manners and open-mindedness as certainly essential qualities to being classy but they alone are probably not enough to be considered classy.

  • Isabelle

    "Classy according to whom?"

    I consider myself a classy woman. However I don't like the fact that this article tends to confine the notion of "classy" to a woman who is constantly pleasing "guys", not get angry at "guys" etc.

    You don't have to be "low-key" and disappear and please the men to be classy. I totally disagree with that.

    I'm afraid I find this very repressive. This may have been the definition of a classy woman in the 1950's North America but it definitely doesn't define classy for me.

    To me, classy means well-mannered, polite and someone with a broad mond who is not petty, be it a man or a woman.

  • SHY

    a classy women can work any occassion. If someone comes up to you and they are rude, a simple astounished look and walking away can make a jerk apologize! I have seen it done. I also know someone who got SHOT in the HEAD for being ugly towards someone trying to pick her up. I understand that in assult cases u do have to defend yourself. Unfortunatly this is a man's world. If we as women would be a little more humble and gentle we would realize that we actually control them! Think about it, Adam and Eve, Sampson and Deliah, The trojan war! Men have been listening to women from the start. It's about knowing u have the control but being classy enough to let them think they have it! lol

  • Marie

    I agree with garbo 7127. A truly classy woman scoffs at such a dumb word. And a really classy woman is a feminist, just like Gloria Steinem.

  • Aoibhe

    Good article,though,one thing : I don’t enjoy at all pleasing men,I mean I don’t care if someone likes me or not,and frankly,why should I?!.I’m myself,what I am,why should I seek others’ approval,especially men’s?! Of course,I’m different from men,I don’t challenge or compete them either,but pleasing them…huh,excuse me,I’m not such woman.

  • Aoibhe

    Besides,not all guys deserve nice attitude.For instance,if a pervert jerk comes to me and wants an assault,or for example,an immature boy talks to me so impudently,that it would be good to slap him,"simply walk away" isn't a solution.I must to be willing to protect myself,even fighting to survive physical violence or respond fiercely to verbal insults.I'm not a helpless female,or a Victorian lady.

  • Jeanne

    I agree, an excellent overview of classy. I appreciate your insight and allowing the reader to look at the word from so many different angles. Kind of like a diamond with many facets that come together and reflect great beauty! Thanks

  • practicalhappiness.c

    Thanks, Bill. I frankly struggled with the definition of "classiness." I knew right away that it's more than just one thing and it's a collection of elements. I talked to a number of people whose opinion I value and respect, so the article was a collaboration of a number of opinions that I thought were appropriate to include in the definition.

  • Bill

    I think you described classiness extremely well! I particularly like your paragraph on humility. Every woman I've known who I would describe as having class was so confident in herself that she didn't need to advertise the obvious and it made being with her such an incredible pleasure and privilege. Thanks for writing this!