Younger Man / Older Woman

younger guy older woman dating adviceIt is not rare to see a younger guy and an older woman date and have a very intense sexual and romantic relationship, which defies the traditional “older man, younger woman” set-up that we are used to seeing. This is not surprising. First, the fact that such a dating situation is still somewhat taboo makes is all the more enticing and exciting. Many younger guys are driven to women who are 10 years older than they are or more, as these women are often more confident and more sexually driven and passionate than the younger women. These younger guys are both curious and excited about dating a woman who, is not ashamed of what she wants sexually, unlike the younger girls of his own age who are often confused about just about everything, including their romantic and sexual desires. That relationship between a younger guy and an older woman is likely to be supercharged by a combination of the younger man’s peak sex drive and the older woman’s confidence, experience and her own sex drive. There are some other compelling reasons for why older women are more attractive to younger guys. And of course, it’s not a secret that women in their thirties and forties have a much higher sex driver than the ones in their twenties. That higher sex drive translates, among other things, into being more direct with men.

The more mature women may be interested in dating a younger guy out of sheer curiosity of what it feels like dating someone younger, and also because usually younger guys are more “agile,” active, energetic. Being around a younger guy makes a woman feel younger as well. No woman is attracted to a guy who is a couch potato or who is unable to climb a set of stairs without being out of breath, especially if the woman herself is very active. Young guys have a stronger sex drive and are naturally hungrier for a woman’s body. Few things are more flattering to an older woman than being with a younger guy who craves her body and who is more eager to be close to her physically than any older guy would.

Often, a younger guy and an older woman would “decide” upfront that their relationship will be casual, and that they should not expect any commitment from each other, because they know that the end of that relationship is inevitable because of the seemingly irreconcilable age difference. Ironically however, the very fact that the two people remove the pressure of commitment from their interaction increases their sexual attraction and passion toward each other and their desire to be with each other, as their relationship is not clouded by fears and complications of commitment, long-term relationships and related issues.

As a result of that increased romantic passion and sexual connection, the two people are actually more likely to develop strong feelings for each other and to feel very attached to each other – something they never planned for, but also something that happens quite often and is so far beyond their control. This is in large because it is simply impossible for a man and a woman to have a great time with each other, enjoy a special sexual connection over a long period of time and not develop feelings for each other. There are also other significant reasons why a younger guy might especially enjoy dating an older woman.

So, what should a woman do – should she not have started dating a younger guy in a first place? Should she have cut it as soon as she felt that she was developing feelings for the guy? Or… should she continue seeing the guy, enjoy dating him as much as she can while she can, and not worry about the outcome of the situation too much, without thinking about the future too much?

I don’t think any woman can find an absolute and unequivocal answer to this question, and I frankly don’t believe that such an answer exists, as it would heavily depend on that specific woman’s goals and needs at that specific point in her life. An older woman might have the greatest time of her life dating an energetic, exciting, attractive young man, but she is also likely to feel that she is wasting her time being with a younger guy and knowing that it is not going to turn into a long-term relationship, instead of pursuing a relationship with a man with whom she could establish a family and have children in the nearest future as the biology would dictate to a woman who is aware that her biological clock is ticking.

But then again – not every woman wants family and children. Certainly, commitment, family and children are the last thing on those women’s mind who felt “suffocated” in their prior relationship or marriage, went through a challenging divorce or a painful break-up, and who feel the urge to enjoy and celebrate their newly found freedom.

Ultimately, no one can objectively advise a woman whether she should date a younger man, as only she knows what her goals are, and only she feels her needs and desires are at that specific stage in her life considering the unique circumstances of her present emotional state and her dating past. An intense physical affair might just be something she needs to enjoy your life and to be distracted from her previous break-up or disappointments in men.

Some people are committed to live every moment to its fullest and will do what they can to enjoy what they have while they still have it. A woman who belongs to that category should enjoy your relationship with a young guy and all its benefits and thrills, while recognizing that it will eventually be over due to no one’s fault. Others consider the above approach to life to be irresponsible or even reckless, and feel much more comfortable planning their life out, including their love life. Women who belong to this category will not be happy sticking around a guy, if they know in advance that it is not going anywhere and has no potential to turn into an actual partnership.

Only you know which category you belong to or which category you want to belong to, and once you determine which approach fits your life philosophy, you are likely to make the right choice for yourself given your unique situation, as well as what you need and want at that specific point in your life.

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Patty Cake
Patty Cake
10/25/2017 8:24 pm

I have read most of the comments here and your story is excellent, It has a happy ending which is what i was looking for . Age is just a number and people are their own worst enemies perpetuating old standards of life. This is why i try to keep my life private so i can too have some sort of happy life. God
bless u and bless ur family.

Robbydrew
Robbydrew
09/09/2017 5:50 am

I dated an older woman for 2.5 years. I am 26 and she is 35 with 2 kids. We started hooking up as she was going through a divorce with her ex husband of 11 years. We had a really great relationship. Sex was great and we loved each other. But all of sudden her feelings changed towards me and she realized how different we are, and she didn’t see us going anywhere in the future. I couldn’t change the way she felt, so my only choice is to let her go now.

Caroline Kolakowski
Caroline Kolakowski
09/02/2017 5:01 pm

I am in love with a really good man who is 10 years younger than I. I am established, educated, have my own home and am STILL going to school. I hope he feels the same way that I do!! (He really got screwed in his previous marriage; NOT RIGHT!) You know who you are….and I do love you!!

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Rafiq Mohammed
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Sexyangel
Sexyangel
05/10/2017 5:27 am

I am 49 and he is 29, we are deeply in love for 3+ years! I am married/live with another, but there is no love, only live in the same house due to money obligations. I spend most of my time with my boo. We vacation together, 3 yrs in a row. He believes that his family won’t agree and will possibly disown him. So I am a secret. Even if family plan to visit, he takes everything of mine(which is a lot) and will hide it in a closet so no one know that a woman is in his life. I find it very difficult!

We both say that we are each others future, we will be together forever. We plan everything together, we do nothing separately other than with our respective family. Everything from groceries to trips, nothing is done alone. Nothing is purchased for him house(our home) without my input. Neither of us can see life without the other.

But, how can we see a future together if I will never meet his family, He ask for me to move in, but I don’t think he is serious. If family were to visit, what am I to do, pack all my stuff in a suit and wait on the street? For this reason, how can we be a couple and see each other grow old?

I have tried several times to end it, but our love just keeps us coming back together. The LOVE we share is so powerful. It just seems it is meant to be until his family is mentioned and I am once again – no one to them

Anyone here care to share their opinion? Should I ride it out? Should I just get out?

practicalh
05/10/2017 9:13 am
Reply to  Sexyangel

That’s another lovely story and touching situation. I think “growing older” together should be kept in perspective here. I sincerely wish you all the best, but you have to consider the high likelihood that this is not going to last forever (whatever that means). Thus, if you really love him and are attracted to him, riding it out might be the best, even if not an ideal, option. You should also understand where he is coming from. It would be really hard to introduce a woman who is 20 years older than him to his parents without being harshly judged, especially by the mother. And even if he was ok with you meeting them, I don’t think you would be comfortable interacting with them anyway, so maybe it’s a blessing in disguise.

Lifeis Knife
Lifeis Knife
12/29/2017 10:12 am
Reply to  Sexyangel

Its pretty simple Great Lady!

1.Come to terms
10 years into the future, you will be old (if I can say that, no offence) and he would be at his prime. There is a difference right?

2. Worlds are different
He may be your world, but you alone are not his world. There are ‘n’ number of other elements in his life, that actually dictate his life.

3. Think for yourself
If he is 29, and he cannot tell his family that he is dating someone elder to him (leave about the age), when can he ever open up? Think for yourself.

4. Love doesn’t mean only you
He may be really loving you, that doesn’t mean that he will not love anyone, given his family obligations and stuff like that.

5. Lover is never a secret
Loving a woman on bed should be a secret, but a lover should never be a secret. If a man can keep on secret, he can keep many others too, if not now, may be in the future.

It would be hard for anyone to abruptly end any relation. The best you can do is, you are having a nice time with him, and you are aware that he may not be in your life even from tomorrow, and don’t plan too much in life with him. Make it simple, momentarily and precise.

Amanda
Amanda
04/17/2017 1:22 am

I dated a 25 yr old when I was 45. We had so much fun together and age was never a problem. The demon called meth destroyed him.

Marilee Cly
Marilee Cly
06/13/2017 4:19 pm
Reply to  Amanda

I am 74 and dreadfully in love with a 50 yr old man who looks 35….talk about stares. I look around 60. He does meth also and it is then that he is verbally mean and ugly and says horrible things to me.

Caroline Kolakowski
Caroline Kolakowski
09/02/2017 5:04 pm
Reply to  Amanda

So sad Amanda!! DRUGS did in my real love too.

Chris Connell
Chris Connell
12/29/2017 9:39 am
Reply to  Amanda

Sorry to hear that, I’m an ex heroin addict (clean now after an 11 year habit) I met a lovely lady of 49 on xmas Eve. I just turned 37, I was instantly attracted to her and there was loads of chemistry between us. I want to see her again but I’m not sure if we have a future together? I have an on off girlfriend who suffers depression and often pushes me away and I had never been with another woman behind her back until the other night. I don’t know what I want now, I guess I could see this lady again and see how it goes..

BIGNOTBAD
BIGNOTBAD
01/16/2017 4:13 am

some guys just want the experience to be with a older person but that is just wrong dont use a person or string them along because you waisting there time…

BIGNOTBAD
BIGNOTBAD
12/27/2016 12:02 pm

am 29 and my gf of 3years is 46 now it was very rocky at 1st because of family and friends but it worked we are stil to gather and i love her to bits so if a person wants something to work it will

Farantino Morgan
Farantino Morgan
01/15/2017 8:51 pm
Reply to  BIGNOTBAD

i wrote more below by michael post but i want to say that is so sweet. and i am living proof it work too. i have no regrets and he sure don’t lol he only date women 1 to 2 decades older, and it work for him and we both are very happy. gotta b right mature respectful mutual respect there and everything else will continue to fall into place.

BIGNOTBAD
BIGNOTBAD
01/16/2017 4:51 am

you right mutual respect and honesty then every thing els will fall in place…i can see that you are very happy in your relationship

Xavier Sanchez_DJ215
Xavier Sanchez_DJ215
01/15/2017 8:56 pm
Reply to  BIGNOTBAD

BIG, yep. same here.
the one i want to really settle down wit ‘is like yours, like mid 40s. not OLD lady yet. nah but older woman.
yea. and i will not give up trying to settle down with her.Live in same house/do everything/plan it all together and just enjoy our time together each waking day . Life so short to not be with who we really know we should be with. and if Morgan still here, that’s good. Good luck to your younger man and you.”

JN
JN
12/19/2016 12:47 am

This is very good article. Everyone has there own life to live. I do not agree with. I have 21 year son. This type relationship looks more like a parent child relationship. This is my opinion. I did date someone older, 10 years older, the age difference did come into effect. I do wish any one who is pursuing the best.

Xavier Sanchez_DJ215
Xavier Sanchez_DJ215
01/15/2017 8:57 pm
Reply to  JN

love dating only older. less drama. and just love it personally since barely 18 for like 11 yrs now.

michael s
michael s
11/06/2016 2:05 pm

Is the author of this a mature woman by any chance!?

practicalh
11/06/2016 2:15 pm
Reply to  michael s

No.

Farantino Morgan
Farantino Morgan
01/15/2017 8:50 pm
Reply to  michael s

great article. i save this for a minute.
My tasty-youngin’ is approximately 17 to 18 yrs my junior ahhh love him so much and be is way IN love wit me to want marriage. adopt a child or 2 if not natural birth and i am just loving him to pieces. Gots to b the right fit mentally first n foremost/maturity on both levels. love it. I am in my forties. met him only at early 20s… (23) i was approaching forties “then”so in almost mid 40s now and we are stronger than ever. not sure though on kid thing, raise 3 boys… but he say if not he is ok with only me and him and travel and enjoy our home-life til God call us both home and what not… .It can work but has to be the right fit. Looks are totally irrelevant when you have the right person any age.(over 18 of course)

Xavier Sanchez_DJ215
Xavier Sanchez_DJ215
01/15/2017 8:53 pm

Morgan wow. That’s what’s up. I am alot like your guy I only date way older, like halle age, late 40s or fifty. and or mid upper forties j-lo age to mariah mid forties and or janet. That is perfect for me. I been like this though for a long time(born mid 80s) i will marry older woman,we both get old together living good,that is what i know i will not settle for nothing less. Just more exciting and i love older.Never dating my age.No need.Less drama with older(and you’re right Morgan but yea it has to be you’re right the right one.)Many i didn’t connect wit’ so you’re right.)But when it is right i know it.

su
su
05/21/2016 4:27 pm

I’m 43 my husband is 26 we have been together 7 years. people told us it would not last but here are married with a 5 year old daughter

swg
swg
10/11/2016 7:50 am
Reply to  su

You met him when he was 19?

Joe Haley
Joe Haley
10/11/2016 3:27 pm
Reply to  swg

Want to hook up? I`m looking for a woman to be with

swg
swg
10/11/2016 3:37 pm
Reply to  Joe Haley

No, dumba$$.

David Santos
David Santos
11/23/2016 7:27 pm
Reply to  su

Happy For you Both !! I’m 25 and My recent gf now ex for 3 weeks. She is 41. I Love Her So much!!! And She Loves Me ! But for 6 months we been on and off. She breaks up with me for everything. And when she decides, she comes back. I accused her of cheating alot , because she brought a coworker to stay over at her place. And I started to have doubts. But we spoke about it. And she said she’s not that kind of woman. She would tell me. I try letting go. But I feel I didn’t ask certain situations that led me to accusations. I regret that. But I accused her of doing something sexual while talking to me on the phone. And she broke up with me in a text. These are her actual texts . You are lying about what you are saying I am doing over the phone..which I never did.. to impress somebody else… Furthermore, not even putting me on speaker, and saying I am the one playing games. It is saddening and a shame you do this to me, throwing all we have away. You have not changed. So be it, if you insist on lying. You get what you want and accomplish what you set out with your actions. Don’t contact me again. Forget my number, when you lie like this about my honesty. Be with them. Let them – that other girl experience your lies. Until it is she discovers your true nature. A joke you play on me each time I give you another chance, using me to receive pity and play the victim from new girls you are seeing, badmouthing and saying I am not loyal, rather than being truthful to impress them – unfathomable! Good bye to your untruthful self… ) How can I fix this ? we even named our future kids Together !! I Do Love Her !! But she changed her number and has not called me since. It’s been 3 weeks. Nothing still. I feel like she just happy with someone else. Now that she has him she doesn’t need me . How did you make it work with you and him ? What can I do to Get her back ? Thank you !!

Xavier Sanchez_DJ215
Xavier Sanchez_DJ215
01/15/2017 9:08 pm
Reply to  David Santos

it works.but as u r reading new post above, realize ithas to be with the right older woman.

swg
swg
04/26/2016 1:36 pm

I will never ever be with a younger guy again. I’ve had too many failed rel’ships with them. I’m 48; the most recent guy is 29. My heart is broken because he wants things as they are, status quo, with us ‘dating’ or sleeping together, etc., but he will not be in a rel’ship with me because he wants longterm to find someone his own age in case he decides to have kids. So..I’m feeling like dirt. I feel like I am not good enough for a relationship, only for something temporary til he finds a younger woman. I think I deserve better than that.

practicalh
04/26/2016 2:07 pm
Reply to  swg

It is an unfortunate but also inevitable result of this type of age difference. You cannot be blamed for how you feel, and that younger guy cannot be blamed either, unless of course he mislead you, which it appears he didn’t.

OreoMilkLover215
OreoMilkLover215
06/14/2016 8:24 pm
Reply to  practicalh

This is not “inevitable that it was going to happen because she is in her forties and him only in his 20s, early thirties etc. ALL depend imo on what you’re wanting, and sharing up front on those actual needs etc., A much younger man late 20s like me is happy with way older has to be over 7 to 20 years older. I prefer em and always will. If IN love and set in life with her i will be a man who is mature enough to put our love/bond before a birth child that we feasibly will not be able to produce but sure can adopt or not have any and still be in love and happy. It all has to do with what is best in the future … and if he know early on he do not want kids and or can adopt with her IF they fall IN love then it is all good just be honest. That is best at the beginning. Your only in your late forties, yes you’re now older, yes but sure not OLD so enjoy your life,and remember life is way too short not to so enjoy it as much as we all can without a hurtful moment. I will marry older. Not going to settle for younger, because that is not how i am made. Children is not a deal breaker for me. Only cheating is so don’t get so down on yourself, you’re still young enough in your late forties, (48)to meet the right guy younger or older than you. .Trust me he is out there…. I like this website Great article.

RIP to the florida victims in Orlando

swg
swg
06/21/2016 10:01 am

Thanks very much for your words of support. There are probably large age gap relationships out there that work, but they do not work for me. Guess what the latest is? The 29 yr old and I broke it off…2 months later I find out, he’s been dating someone else already. 7 dates into it, and he’s already committed to her..meanwhie, he and I were together for 6 months, and he still wanted to sleep with this one ex-lover. Didn’t even really consult me about it, or ask how *I* felt about it. He pretty much went and did it. That was pretty much the end of it for us. I felt totally disrespected. I guess he thought because of the age difference, I was supposed to ASSUME that things were THAT casual between us. NM that he had told his mom about us..introduced me to his family..etc. So yeah. I’m pretty disillusioned with the whole OW/YM thing now. And I bet this girl whom he seems to respect enough NOT to sleep with someone else..is closer to his own age.

swg
swg
06/21/2016 10:05 am
Reply to  practicalh

Yeah, he did mislead me. I think making long term plans with someone..telling your parents about them..introducing them to your friends..if you think it’s just a booty call, that’s pretty misleading. Maybe if he’d just ended it after 3 months, instead of coming back again and again, and if we hadn’t actually gone out on DATES, and just slept together with nothing else going on…but that’s not how it went down. And *I* am the one who broke it off because I felt him assuming I’d be ok with him sleeping with an exlover, instead of asking me how I felt about it, was disrespectful. I guess our relationship was casual when it worked for him to assume it was casual, and not when he didn’t want anything else on the side.

OreoMilkLover215
OreoMilkLover215
06/14/2016 8:27 pm
Reply to  swg

SWG just in case my post below is not approved i think you’re too hard on yourself. you’re older sure. but you’re far from OLD you’re not in your sixties seventies eighties,and even then as my grandparent is 19 years almost older than her soulmate, my grandpa. so enjoy your life now, and you are going to meet the right older or younger guy. Just has to be the right 1 for you. His loss. Not yours.remember that.

rip to the florida victims in orlando.

Afotro Ben
Afotro Ben
09/21/2016 3:09 am
Reply to  swg

Older women are easy going people,they care about your health and your overall well been, I lost mine a couple of years back,so trying to find another online, besides they respect you anyone for me lol.

BIGNOTBAD
BIGNOTBAD
01/16/2017 4:43 am
Reply to  swg

SWG i think you give him more then what he deserve you dont have to feel bad or sad in anyway he just not the right guy for you and you wil get someone that will treat you the way you want to be treated with respect and love before me and my gf started dating she told that if i want kids that i must move on and not keep her for fun and i told her that am ok with it and that i won’t use her and here we stil are loving each other even more…so dont let that guy make you feel like you wrong or dirty because you not……

Jasmine Leonard
Jasmine Leonard
11/28/2015 3:02 pm

I hope u work things out with him , even if it’s casual he shouldn’t have flipped like that. Let him know it was harmless flirting and to remember that you guys are not official.What about their being faithful do u think that is possible? I mean I know anything is possible but the guy I’m seeing is 21 yr old guy who told me in the beginning he’s talking to someone else,but the other night he was on the phone right in front of me with another girl I was laying up in his bed, it was super rude I told him too, he at first said he didn’t mean to be rude..duh but u were. I said either u don’t give a fuck or your to young and inexperienced to know u don’t do that to someone. He did appologize and admit it was wrong I just hope we can stregnthen our relationship and become official.

Jasmine Leonard
Jasmine Leonard
11/28/2015 2:36 pm

Thanks so much for posting this, great article,your right there are defiantly different aspects that go with dating a younger guy he’s 21 I’m 29 we’ve been dating for 5 weeks I really like him but don’t want to scar him off with too much “what are we” talk questioning. We haven’t had sex yet I do want to but I know it will change the dynamic of our relationship. Plus I told him I want to get to know him better first before sex. I do know he talks to someone else but he’s dating and taking me out, but it still concerns me.only time will tell if we go further and he a real relationship.

practicalh
11/28/2015 6:22 pm

Thanks for your kind words, Jasmine. Yes, “where are we” talk is way premature after just five weeks, especially if you didn’t even have s yet. This might be the right time to talk about him talking to other people though. The longer you wait the more it will hurt you if he is not as serious about what you guys have as you would like it to be.

Jasmine Leonard
Jasmine Leonard
11/28/2015 7:06 pm
Reply to  practicalh

Your very welcome, and yeah it’s premature, I did talk to him about that other person,he said that their just talking and he admitted it was wrong and apologized which was awesome and I accepted now moving forward I hope we get stronger.

practicalh
11/28/2015 9:49 pm

Good job on handling that situation. I say every friction you resolve brings you closer together regardless of what happens.

DAZEDandCONFUSED
DAZEDandCONFUSED
10/08/2015 9:02 am

Hi Lost in Love, im sort of in a similar situation but not at the in love part, similar in age and the marriage situation. My story is more of chatting via social media to txting with a younger guy for a year and a half. He is 10 yrs younger, so i’ve had my doubts and been coming up with excuses. I finally agreed to meet after the year and a half. That intense sexual chemistry is there. Super hot! But since its just beginning im going into this with no expectations, knowing we both are not good with commitment. He is more focused on his career, and i have a family. Just curious how your story went. It feels crazy but I am so happy. I know it is wrong, but I haven’t been happy for years now. I am not sure what to except or what to think. The intense sexual connection that I found is something I just dont want to lose, i want to enjoy as much as I can. As much as I want this for a long time, who knows what will happen. I just wanted to know if anyone else has been in that situation and has worked out. I do feel a sense of freedom for I did let me spouse know how I am feeling and why I did what I did. I have told him for years the times when we fell apart, but he only knows now that this is serious, and that our marriage is more just staying for the kids. I have been unhappy for over 4 yrs now, in an 11 year marriage. I have tried to make it work with the first 7 years of marriage but it doesn’t work for me anymore. Don’t get me wrong, my husband is a really good guy, we don’t fight that often, but the support and the love for me has faded with little things, over the years. Where it became a complete disconnect and I see him more as a friend. I’m at the point where, do I let the kids see that I am not happy and try to stay together. Or do we go our seperate ways. We have been sleeping apart for a year now, and having this young guy msg me and pursue me for over a year and a half, made me feel like i can be happy again. When all this time i thought the issue was me, for i have not been sexually active for about a year and a half to 2 yrs. I blamed the meds, the aging, but meeting this beautiful younger guy who is doesnt care about my flaws in my body, made me feel like i want to love myself again. He is the type of guy I never thought would even notice me. He’s an athelete with an amazing body, and im over weight, especially due to all these medications I was on. He told me that me being this way didnt matter and he’s not that shallow. For all the ladies that have dreamed of a gorgeous man you will normally see in magazines pursuing you,is like a dream come true. I feel like this is just a dream and one day i will wake up and he’s not there. This whole situation for me is just like a dream come true, but unsure of how long this will last and would love the happily ever after. I dont see the marriage part anymore, due to already being in one that i feel has failed me. Hopefully Lost in Love, your story has a better ending, mine has only begun and not sure where this leads… Any updates on how you two are now?

Joe Haley
Joe Haley
06/07/2015 8:49 am

I`m 29 years old and my girlfriend Bobby is 44 years old. Bobbi and I are in a relationship and she doesn`t to have sex with me, which that she wants to have a relationship with me. Well, I do say that ages doesn`t really matter anyway as being an adult and dating a woman in their 40`s

swg
swg
04/26/2016 1:37 pm
Reply to  Joe Haley

Oh really? Wait til you decide you might want kids..

Joe Haley
Joe Haley
10/10/2016 3:24 pm
Reply to  swg

Well, I`m not with Bobby really, that`s just a joke. What I really want in life is my ex Nicholas

swg
swg
10/11/2016 7:51 am
Reply to  Joe Haley

ok..not sure why you posted that, then..

Trilby16
Trilby16
04/28/2015 10:31 pm

I’m 63 and my bf’s 35. It’s pretty great! He’s happy too.

Simon
Simon
09/20/2016 7:36 pm
Reply to  Trilby16

Hi dear, I am 35. I am looking for a mature lady as well. I am black and live in Zambia, Africa

Robin
Robin
04/13/2015 8:51 am

As an older woman that is dating a younger man I will tell you for me personally, if you can communicate with out the assumption that you are going get sex or be sexual with your communication …eventually an older woman will warm up to a younger man. I am speaking from my preferences. I just started to date a younger man who is 15 yrs younger and I am 53. His approach to me was non sexual and that is what sparked my interest. It is probably different for everyone else.

Double S
Double S
02/05/2015 9:20 pm

I’m 33 and I’ve been date a women whom is 18 years older than me for a few months now and I’ve got to say it’s not the sex I care about it’s just the sheer connection we have with each other, like just this morning it was -30 degrees Celsius and the battery died on here truck so she gave me a call to see if could give her a ride to work, even though I was still in bed I rushed out the door, when I got her to work just the smile, hug and kiss I got from her was much more of a better feel than I have ever got from a women my age. And I have also got to say I have had more fun with here in these few sort month than I have had with many other wemon around my age put together, like cooking her a nice supper and relax with a glass of wine and a movie was way more fun that going to any resturant or club.

practicalh
02/05/2015 9:29 pm
Reply to  Double S

Thanks for sharing. It is incredible how many guys end up dating women who are that much older. Regardless of how long it lasts, it must be a special and unique experience in many ways.

Justknowimeanit
Justknowimeanit
01/10/2015 9:40 pm

LOL ! My favorite part was when he said she was honest!!! Haha! Dude your mistress is a whore who fucks younger guys on the regular. I know this lady personally. I fuck her too. Idiot.

April
April
09/20/2014 8:28 pm

Hi Daniel,

I am not sure if I can really give you an advice,everyone has to follow their intuition and their heart.
But this is what I think:
What is happening in situations like this(and maybe you are too young to”get it”yet)is that
this is a soul connection not only physical attraction.
Brain can not outsmart the heart,and as they say:” the heart wants what the heart wants.”
I am sure that being older and wiser,that woman knows for sure that you like her,and I think if you want to be with her you should show her in a subtle way that you do and I guess it is up to her to make a decision.You should look at all the signs first,if you really feel that she likes you, also watch how she is with her husband(maybe she likes you but would never leave her family ,on the other hand a lot of marriages are just formal,people stay together for kids,finances etc.you wouldn’t believe how many loveless and sexless marriages are out there)You have to find the way to see if she is stable and happy in her marriage or who knows maybe she is on the verge of a divorce…guessing and assuming is not a good way to go, so the only way is to have an open talk with her…Give it a time,but I think that is the only way to get somewhere or not.

I feel so deeply and intensely with a younger guy this year,he seemed very shy and intimidated by me,he showed an uncontrollable excitement a few times when he saw me and he is a very calm person..I saw he liked me(he never did much to show me, but no one can deny the energy that only two people feel between themselves)and I saw that he was trying really hard to resist me. I was sure that he would not approach me b/c I am older,have a child etc.So finally,when I realized I am falling in love with him, I approached him with a letter and it turned out that he is in a long term relationship!
So people can like you,they can even be crazy about you,but you need to find out before your emotions get too deep if she is interested in being with you or not.
At the end it is that simple..
Good luck and let us know how it goes..

Daniel
Daniel
09/20/2014 6:49 pm

Hi everyone! So I’m 24 years old and I’ve known this woman for almost a year now. She is 40 years old, married and has a couple of children, but for a few months now I can’t seem to stop thinking about her. When I’m in my home town we see each other almost every day and most of the time there are other people with us, and sometimes her husband is there too. There are also times when we are alone and we have a great relationship and we just sit and talk, but I know it would be wrong and I’ve decided that I won’t say anything to her. She is very kind to me and gives me a big smile every time we meet and when we say goodbye. The thing is that recenlty I started acting weird and keeping some distance between us when we meet, because I feel guilty for some reason although there is nothing to feel guilty about other than the thing that I just can’t get her out of my mind. I’m very confused, because I think that now she knows that I like her (thank God she doesn’t know that she’s constantly on my mind for most of the day) and I’ve caught her staring at me and sometimes we look at each other from a distance when I decide to stay away from her, because I feel uncomfortable if there are other people with us. Also I feel this tension when we look into each other’s eyes now. The last time we met it was by accident and it was raining and both of us were already wet, but we were alone and we stayed and talked about random stuff for 10 or 20 minutes in the rain. When we met the same evening there were some other people with us and neither one of us said anything about our encounter earlier in the day. We both seem to enjoy each other’s company and I want us to be friends, but I don’t want to get her in trouble or embarrass her in some way in front of other people. I won’t even let myself compliment her if she has a new haircut or if she’s exceptionally good looking that day. Also I can’t stop seeing her, because it would look strange to everyone. I feel pretty bad and responsible about the whole situation and I don’t know what to do now. Everywhere I go I just think about or look for her. I’m so distracted lately and I can’t seem to focus on the important things in my life right now. It’s just killing me. Any advice is welcome and appreciated. God, I wish she was 20 years younger…

Betsy
Betsy
09/19/2014 12:41 am

I am a young, fit, trim 70 year old woman, very interested in a man who’s 54. There’s a lot of sexual attraction there and many common interests. He thinks I’m about five years younger than I am and I’m wondering if should tell him my real age.

Amanda
Amanda
04/17/2017 1:20 am
Reply to  Betsy

If he likes you until he finds out your age, dump him. I dumped my pathetic loser. They are terrified of aging themselves, LOL!

Kiki
Kiki
09/18/2014 6:45 am

And Im feeling very jealous when he flirts with someone else, and he probably knows Im. Im just seeing when was his last seen on WatsApp and his activities on Facebook. Earlier we spoke about that it will not bring anywhere and bla bla.. but i just cant help it

Kiki
Kiki
09/18/2014 6:26 am

Hey peeps.. I want to share my littlestory with you, bcz i feel miserable on my heart.

Im 26, and im married for about 6 years. My husband is very sweet and caring person. He loves me so much. But for the last 2 months I have changed. The reason is 21 year old guy. We are working together, and there was a time when we once went out with our colleagues. Then we started going out almost every week, and once we kissed. It was amazing. But nothing more serious happened. We are going to gym together. He is studying and has nothing to offer me. He was kinda clear that he is tired of relationships but he wants cuddling and of course to bring this ”relations” on the next level ( sex). I want him so bad, and he is always on my mind. I know nothing is going to work out of this, but im just feeling crazy. I dont feel passion with my husband anymore, everything is so boring, nothing is changing. We spoke about separation if im not happy, but i dont know if im 100% ready..

Daria
Daria
09/02/2014 5:41 pm

Hey Gina, You should probably check to make sure the young men you are pursuing aren't already married.

Ryan
Ryan
08/31/2014 9:18 am

Good for you Heidi. All the best to you two.

Annie
Annie
08/22/2014 8:27 am

I have just started seeing someone casually who is 9 years younger than me. I'm 51. My worry is that I'm already falling for him and for all the wrong reasons,. I lost my eldest daughter 20 months ago and I think I'm using him as a distraction. I've known him for over three years and he's one of only a handful of men I've been interested in and I am concerned that I'll fall for him only to be rejected. Sex is great and all but I need more than that. Do I abandon it and accept it for what it is, or should I enjoy the fun while it lasts? Can a casual fling end up being more especially with an age gap? He has no kids and I have two teenagers. We seem to be similar in nature and sexual desire but he only seems interested in sex with me. I'm so confused!!

Ryan
Ryan
08/31/2014 9:15 am
Reply to  Annie

Hi Annie, I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your daughter. Coming from a late 20's male, if you two seems to be enjoying the fun aspect of it then absolutely go for it. However, I think in able for a relationship to be something special it needs to be more than just a physical connection again this is just my opinion. All the best.

SRV
SRV
08/15/2014 6:35 am

Hello Dear, in terms of the age gap we are almost in the same situation. I am 31 and my boyfriend will turn 21 in November! and we've been dating since August 2012. Such a long time, believe me I couldn't imagine that I am still with him after 2 years :)) BTW I met his Mom three times since we began dating, I also met his Grandma twice and his Father once !! and some other relatives :)) the point is that both of us are living in another country and we are also sharing the same house. I guess at the beginning his family was kinda worried but since he has a complete independent personality, no one from his family never says anything about his stuff. consider that his mom is too young, she is 41!! what a coincidence !!

I always tried to respect his family, and keep my distance. But when it is needed I am fully available. Last time I saw his mom was this winter and she somehow became totally friendly with me. I guess it is important for them to understand that an older girl is not there to steel anything from their Boy!she is there to cheer up and have a good time.: and since I have a job while I am a student and also she had time to get to know me and make sure I am not there to take advantage of their money, now she feels more friendly. She even told my boyfriend that she has regrets about our age gap, because she thought it is a problem for us to stay in a long term relationship!! Wow it was a relief to here that..but dear it took time to become this. and I guess it is too soon for you to become much emotional about your relationship 🙂 be patient, my biggest advice, and believe me you will be surprised a lot during your relationship. Just remember that moms are always so fussy about the girl who is dating their son! they always picture a princess for their master peace :))) no offence but everyone knows that:D

After 2 years I still have lots of doubts, bad days, difficult decisions to make and so on.. but there is still so much to hold on to that I cannot let go 🙂

wish you luck

Jasmine Leonard
Jasmine Leonard
11/28/2015 2:48 pm
Reply to  SRV

Yeah the guy I started seeing is 21 I am 29 I really like him we haven’t had sex yet tho I want to but I want us to hav a deeper connection before getting physical , how long do u think it takes for younger guys to fall for u.. .?

disqus_3R1e4Jsh33
disqus_3R1e4Jsh33
08/07/2016 1:53 pm
Reply to  SRV

i am in the very same situation, i’m 30, hes 20 and we recently got together a few months ago, we both live abroad as students and living together and the past few weeks i was in his home country and met the entire family and his it off with his Mum straight away. He will meet mine in a few weeks but yes, it took a while for me to get over the age and he truly won my heart over but i do worry about the future but i will enjoy each day as it comes.

April
April
09/10/2014 3:58 pm
Reply to  practicalh

Well,here is one for you 🙂

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O6oJA_xhTa8

Taken aback
Taken aback
08/12/2014 4:10 pm

I am a 45 y/o woman and have been seeing a 27 y/o guy for a couple of weeks.

It is weird and I do wonder what he sees in me. He is sweet and affectionate and I am happy enjoy that for now and see where things lead.

But this wasn't actually the point of my post.

I am completely flabbergasted by all of the women on here who are 40, 45, 50+ claiming to look like they are in their 20's.

Either this website just happens to attract every freak of nature who isn't shwoing their age, or every female narcissist around or, every self-deluded liar.

Seriously ladies — hardly ANYBODY, even celebrities who spend a considerable amount of every day preserving their looks actually looks 20+ years younger in the flesh — and if you think that your younger guy is with you due to the fact that you look younger (and the fact that you mention it would indicate that you do) then be prepared to live in fear every day you are with him.

I am just so disappointed to see so many women who are equating the fact that they think they look young with their self-esteem —- and it makes me wonder if the poor young men they are dating are just more tools to enable their delusions.

April
April
09/13/2014 5:21 pm
Reply to  Taken aback

I agree that the way older women here are saying:I am 50 but I look 32 sounds little bit they way you explained.
It would sound more realistic if they say I am 50 but look in my mid or late 30’s,not stick to a certain number.

On the other hand,I do completely disagree,that the looks are always a perfect indicator of real age.
My both parents looked always 10 yrs younger than they actually were,and I think i have inherited that gene too.(the reason for that is also a very healthy life style)
I was looking at my high school graduation photo recently and I honestly looked like I was 12 or 13!
Even now as mature woman I look about 10 yrs younger,very often people compliment my complexion and it is mostly women,and let me tell you, I am so, so far from being narcissistic I would say I almost have no self confidence,but I do look younger…maybe 5 yrs for some maybe 10 for others..and I have seen many people who do not look their age,and I have met many..

It also goes the other way,it is maybe not that common but I have a friend in her early 40’s and her face and body looks like in late 60’s she even told me that her parents are in mid 60’s and they look like they are in their 90’s.
So again,age is really so relative, genetics play a role, but I think lifestyle and mostly if people are happy and cheerful they do feel and look younger!

April
April
09/13/2014 5:24 pm
Reply to  April

ps/this was my reply to:Taken aback

swg
swg
04/26/2016 2:33 pm
Reply to  Taken aback

I’m 48 and have always been told I look younger. When I was 40, people told me I looked like I was in my early 20s. I never smoked. Partied very little. Stayed out of the sun. Yes, I am getting wrinkles NOW, but people still tell me I look like I’m in my 30s. Good diet, lots of water, no sun, and retin-A, and NO SMOKING. And yes you can look years younger. The reason I kept ending up with younger guys was because they thought I was their age, initially.

practicalh
04/26/2016 2:42 pm
Reply to  swg

It’s great to look young but it doesn’t change the bottom line – the actual age.

swg
swg
04/26/2016 2:57 pm
Reply to  practicalh

So? What is your point? Everyone is gonna be in their 40s/50s/ and gasp! older, and then die, at some point.

She’s saying so many women who take pride in looking younger are delusional, and use young men as “tools.” I have never sought out a younger man. They always come to me. They’re actually the only ones who hit on me. And twice, the much younger guys I ended up in relationships with, thought I was their age, and I thought they were older. I’m contradicting her point.

So..your point about “the bottom line and your actual age”..is kind of moot.

practicalh
04/26/2016 3:02 pm
Reply to  swg

The point is not moot. Regardless of who is coming to whom, those types of relationships are doomed as far as long term goes, so the only way to enjoy them is to accept and embrace the fact that you should enjoy what you have while you have it without making too many long term plans. Sometimes it’s easier said than done because people develop strong feelings regardless of understanding this. If this is something you don’t want, you don’t have to respond to young men’s advances. It is your choice. There is nothing wrong with taking care of yourself, looking young and healthy, dating younger men, etc… as long you are aware of this inevitable risk of being hurt this way.

swg
swg
04/26/2016 3:04 pm
Reply to  practicalh

So, why don’t you tell everyone who’s posted on here, who’s in an OW/YM relationship what you’re telling me? Their relationships are clearly ALL doomed to fail. Isn’t that what you’re saying??

practicalh
04/26/2016 3:09 pm
Reply to  swg

Well, first I can always respond to everyone’s comment on every article. Sometimes I am more available than others. More importantly – not every woman has the same goal. Some are perfectly find enjoying the excitement of the affair, sex and dating with the younger guy and they don’t really expect anything else. If that’s the case, there is no failure – they get exactly what they want. I am sad to know that many older women are in denial about the fact that a big age difference is a virtually insurmountable obstacle as far as long term relationship goes.

swg
swg
04/26/2016 3:25 pm
Reply to  practicalh

Go to agelesslove.com. Plenty of older women married to much younger men. You realize there are younger men who know they don’t want kids, right?

practicalh
04/26/2016 3:28 pm
Reply to  swg

I am sure there are plenty of exceptions and I will check out the site. It’s not so much about the kids as it is about sexual attraction. However youthful a woman is, it’s an inevitable issue. Again, there are exceptions, but relying on it is a risky proposition, to say the least. I am sure that Beyonce and Sophia Vergara will look great at 50 or even older, but this cannot be said about most women out there.

swg
swg
04/26/2016 3:50 pm
Reply to  practicalh

I have plenty of friends approaching 50 who look great, and it’s not always about that. Many younger men appreciate the wisdom, intelligence, reponsibility and maturity an older woman brings to the relationship. I just saw an article, actually, where they’re showing a big change in younger men’s attitudes. Most younger men in this study, preferred to date 6-10 years older than their own age. You underestimate how many younger men are tired of the games women their age play.

swg
swg
04/26/2016 3:50 pm
Reply to  practicalh

Anyway, until you survey every single younger guy about his attitudes towards a serious rel’ship with an older woman, you cannot sit here and say “all OW/YM relationships are doomed.” That’s negative stereotyping and not based on anything but your own biases.

practicalh
04/26/2016 4:18 pm
Reply to  swg

I am glad to hear that. Older women have plenty of advantages over younger ones, and I wrote about that too:
https://www.practicalhappiness.com/why-you-might-enjoy-dating-an-older-woman/
I don’t need to survey every single guy. As I mentioned, there are exceptions – there is a group of guys who prefer older women, and there is a group of women who is uniquely attractive despite being older. But denying that a significant age difference is an issue is like denying that a typical woman wants to be with a guy who is taller. It’s just a fact.

WDMn73
WDMn73
07/20/2014 4:48 pm

I have gone with married woman when I was younger. One of my married girlfriends quit her husband and married me. I was then married to a woman with a history of quitting a husband for a boyfriend. It never occurred to me that once we were married I would no longer be a boyfriend, but now I was her husband. It didn't take her long to trade me in on a newer model. That was my last marriage. Now I only go with unattached, unmarried trustworthy ladies.

heidi
07/02/2014 2:30 pm

I turned 50 today. Half a century old. I have been in a relationship with a 33 year old man for 10 months. He is Mexican, and I speak no spanish, LOL, yet we have no problem communicating. I am in love with him, and it scares the hell out of me.

Tom
Tom
03/06/2014 11:38 am

Mah thats okay I am just joking wouldn't want that really..

Tommy
Tommy
03/03/2014 3:47 am

I am a seventeen year old boy, I will be 18 in three months.

I continue to tell myself I do not want a girlfriend or better should I say a relationship in the future. Of course who am I to say I haven't had a girlfriend yet I confess. Well NOT exactly.. I am not going to go into the details there. I always tell myself that I need to stay away from relationships not just now but down the road…

But I do find I am attracted to women ten, twenty years older than me a skeptic might just think me aggressive and rude saying that but in all fairness is that I enjoy being around people older than me. I have friends my age or I should a couple close friends but overall throughout my childhood I have noticed I like socializing with those older than me than my peers.

My chief passion in life is learning more than anything else, is learning I am fascinated with humanity and the world's its self- this started with a passion in history.

I admit I have been called an "old soul" by my best female friend (never a date).

But what can I say?

What should I do? Should I try it sometime?

And if someone would be so kind, I would like advice on should just how I would go through with meeting an older woman I was interested in. Its not that I am shy or that I don't like talking to people- I do but I am not sure how I would do this.

Any advice or response will be appreciated

Tom
Tom
03/04/2014 11:52 am
Reply to  practicalh

I was wondering if you were going to say it was common 🙂

Thanks for replying! I want to try, I am not sure when I will get a good opportunity. But your news is good news certainly! It dose make sense with what I already know

Tom
Tom
03/05/2014 11:57 am
Reply to  practicalh

Thanks I'll look at the article! I

I agree it would be a very special experience I hope I don't miss!

You know if you had any contacts of women between their late twenties and forties I wouldnt mind talking to them.

Jade
Jade
03/02/2014 2:59 pm

Guys I am dealing with a seriously tough issue. Married 10 yrs. My husband has a daughter 15 and me a son 21. In the beginning we both discussed having a child in thr near future after purchasing a home and securing our finances. It was a good idea because we both had great jobs. Well as time passed 10 yrs later 39 still no baby but most importantly guys the pain and mental frustration of having sex with my husband for 10 yrs straight and he has never ever had an erection inside of me? Honestly we both enjoyed the sex but when he pull out, it makes me sick and even numb. It's my fault for allowing it to go on. I told him that he lied to me and never wanted children. I resented my husband for years holding on to unspoken pain..still do. I was recently in an auto accident and for some reason or another, I can't stop thinking about these feelings. Other than this he is a good husband. I don't know how to feel. Kids isn't an option. I am tired of his excuse that our marital issues and disagreements are the blame. When I ask why the marital issues in his previous marriage wasn't a problem enough for him to share himself with her…he has no answer. I am filing for a divorce. .all married couples have disagreements and issues but their husbands sure don't hold back in that department for 10 years straight. I am fit and very attractive. .I have Never cheated on my husband. In my opinion he never intended on having children with anyone but his ex Japanese wife who divorced him..

fast forward, I am 39 and look 25-28

I am being persued by a 24 yr old who makes me feel like everything in the world good..I have not slept with him because I have not divorced yet..its so hard guys. He adores me and I want him so bad. Please Help

Jade
Jade
03/03/2014 1:02 am
Reply to  practicalh

Hi again. ..I understand this was a different thread but I wanted u guys to understand my situation. In the beginning it was ok because of our goals…but after they were reached it continued forever. I stayed because I loved him and hoped he would eventually keep his word but he never did…now I am really feeling this younger guy. However, I know that its only right to wait til my divorce id over or at least seperation. I guess I am just really confused snd wanted to share with you guys. .thanks for listening to me

Kaafir
Kaafir
02/14/2014 1:15 pm

she would always say her mother brought her up violently and beat her up as a child etc. and therefore her ways of reacting violently and threatening to take her life or break the ouse down in anger. I would do all i possibly could and almost would take on everything lying down in a hope to maybe sometime she would realise how life can be. this was only getting me phobic and scared of her as time went along. I even took to it the point of marrying and our parents met. After it was finalised that night her father fainted suddenly. while driving her to the hospital while my parents drove her parents i just said to her that on auspicious occasion this was very very weird and wonder if the universe was hinting at we delaying things or maybe do prayers etc. she was high on alcohol and i was too. she flared up and blasted me for saying such a thing. and then taunting on how i was driving etc etc. i said well I'm sorry you can ignore this . however she never spoke after. the following morning she messaged my mother 7 long sms saying how they should talk to me,how she doesn't want to be with me, how she will rather be alone etc. this was all an impulsive outburst. My parents as supportive didn't like it and felt that if before marrying this is the case what would it be later. when i asked her why did she drag the parents her answer was i could have not messaged my parents because they were stressed about what had happened last night. i was just succumbing under pressure of the fact that every argument didn't have to reach hell. i kept a stone on my heart and closed the chapter.

though i did take her for healing or meeting counsellors etc. she met and would be fine. then again the same story. she would go out partying and i would message or call to ask her if she was fine . the entire night no reply. next morning sorry was dancing etc. took it all quietly and happily.

every time we would fight she would break up or threaten to leave and i would resist and hold her on. this time when i hit the roof, it had ended?? was it so easy for her. then i keep getting random messages either of wrath and fury and disgust and then the next moment of how she misses the old times but will not love me or anyone etc etc.

i have kept quiet and not responded to anything, with everyone close to me telling me, how she has been all the years and the ego and the walls are too cold. I m 27 she turns 33.

its her birthday next weekend, do i message or ask her to meet and talk? do i send her a gift or present??

do i ignore all of it completely? do i carry on with life ? i feel guilty of getting into another relationship with the fact that i assume she may be as upset(though she tells me how she will marry and be happy and is making plans with her friends of going out etc, while i have cut off from everything) and how can i look for happiness?

what does the community advise ??

Kaafir
Kaafir
02/13/2014 7:49 pm

i am 26 and was seeing a girl older to me by 6 years. she had been out of a marriage before which was dull and boring.

to be honest we had the craziest time of our life and shared the most happy holidays and intimate moments. the trouble was only that i would sometimes fall prey to comparing how she was doing in her career and how i was. This did bother me and i did work hard to go leaps and bounds. Unfortunately her temper would be such a rage and i would either have my bags flying out of the house or the pictures broken in her rage. I carried this on for 4 years and were about to marry till when one more bout of anger and i had broken down completely. i couldn't live in the fear of whether she continues her repeated pattern of temper.

she messaged me months later expressing such anger and disgust and i kept quiet, post then i recieved another message of how my love had brought back love for herself back in her life etc etc. i still miss her so badly but don't know whether her ego would surpass the will to love. should i move on.. everyone tells me so that respect is important but i am so attached to her.

jo berry
jo berry
02/07/2014 12:54 pm

Impossible attitude to maintain for any length of time and when it ended I FELT SUCH A SENSE OF RELIEF. IT WAS A CRAZY YEAR and I would not recommend having a 23 year age difference intense love affair to anyone. It was very hard for us to stop seeing each other but it had to end. We had to be realistic…..there was no future for us as a couple. Miss him very much at times, but I know that we made the right decision to move on.

practicalhappiness (
02/07/2014 3:54 pm
Reply to  jo berry

It sounds like you enjoyed it while it lasted but it was time to let each other go.

Hamishg
02/07/2014 6:38 am

I'm 24 and dating a 33 year old. The age difference isn't crazy but she's decided that its not a good look for her to date a guy 9 years younger than her. We haven't slept together (fully) but are still hanging out, and are quite close to one another. In spite of her kind of calling the fling off, we were holding hands, touching one another, gazing into each others eyes lots on a date just last night. I wanted to kiss her the whole night but didn't find the courage. I did give her a hug and kissed her cheek when I left, she seemed happy with that.

I don't want to pressure her or anything, I know she wants to sort her life out, but I'm hoping we can do more in this relationship. I'm happy with a fling and being a guy am obviously thinking of the physical but I don't want to let her slip away and have just another missed opportunity. We've only been dating for a month so early days I guess.

Is there hope, should I stick with her (as long as she wants to) and see if anything else will come of our fling? Maybe make some more moves (the chemistry is there, even if she vocally pushes me away at times). Or should I be moving on, and accepting this as a plutonic relationship.

To be honest though, I haven't felt this close with a girl I've dated in maybe three years. Even the girls I've been completely physical with have seem superfluous compared to this girl. It's a shame about the age difference, while not massive, it seems to effect both of our reactions to the relationship.

(Perhaps we've talked about serious things, what we want from life too many times as well. Perhaps this has complicated the chances of a complete, you only live once type fling from happening. I tend to talk/over think too much, rather than just making moves)

Charlie
Charlie
02/01/2014 4:05 am

Posted here about a year ago…20yrs old at the time with a 45yr old. Fast forward a year later, still goin strong lol

It's mutually understood there is no 'happily ever after', tho it seems the only issue at this point is on her end, im a pretty big part in her life, her young childs life, yet on my end i keep it very seperate and even tho she gets why it still does not make her feel good at times..when we are together its ALWAYS great its those times when were consumed in our own lievs and not spending as much time together we somehow cant ride/sustain the highs and they become lows

practicalhappiness (
02/01/2014 5:35 am
Reply to  Charlie

Thanks for the update. It is so true and more and more people realize this – when you take the pressure off the situation, have no expectations to be together forever after and just enjoying what you have while having it, it can make the time you spend together, including sex, all the more exciting.

pompeygirl
12/21/2013 5:44 pm

It is so lovely to hear these stories which sound similar to mine. I came out if a 26 year marriage shocked at it ending and moved to the Middle East. I met a man similar age but after dating for one month it was clear he was not committed or over a previous relationship. However it was New Year's Eve and we were out together albeit rather a frosty atmosphere when standing in the corner of the bar a young man stood and kept winking and tossing his head to come over which naturally I ignored. Well the atmosphere didn't improve so I decided to leave having made my way to the ladies first. On leaving the ladies the young man stood outside with a pen and paper asking for my number and name while his friend was pulling his arm saying "no not this lady!"

Well I didn't think about it having the difficulties on my mind but received a text the next morning from the young man. I replied but only out of politeness a curt hello.

Ten days later I was in a different country having given the other man another chance but shown again his selfishness I received a call from the young man asking me out. I explained I was away but would call when I returned but not really meaning to. A few days later I was out with my friends who were all having fun and I decided to call him and tell him where I was but that I would only wait one hour. True to his word he was there! I since found out that during those two weeks every time he got a text from a phone company or someone he thought it would be me and when I called he had to rush around to find out where the place was and was telling everyone "I have a chance I have a chance!"

Well he was 21 (first he said 25) and I was 52 and that was 2 years ago and we have been married a year and still very much in love. We had problems with language in the beginning but now that is not an issue. We recently had to get our marriage authorised and needed two witnesses and ironically one of them was his friend who tried to pull him away on the first day!

Nothing is perfect, there are no guarantees so be happy day by day. No one knows the future and so grab every opportunity you can to be with someone who loves you for you, who makes you laugh regardless of the age difference or what other people say or think. It is your life and you should live it how you choose. Good luck to you all and every happiness.

elle
elle
12/09/2013 2:17 am

hi i just started dating a younger man his 21 and i'm 28 i dont know what to expect in the relationship but we both love eachother i'm just afraid that he wont commit i'm confused since i'm not used dating younger man

Eve
Eve
12/04/2013 1:50 am

Thank you all for these comments, it really helps to get my own conclusions. I am 42 dating a 24 years old-guy. I am almost divorced, living along and always like to hang out with younger people. I had some encounters with young guys, but nothing more than one-night stands, as it was never my intention to start a relationship with someone much younger than me. So, this relationship started differently, as I really liked him from the first time I saw him, not physically speaking but more because i felt he thinks very similar to me. I enjoyed very much the time when we and our friends where together, got a lot of fun.
Well, in the meanwhile we like each other very much. He is very polite and cares about me, helps me whenever he cant. He is coming over, staying over night, but somehow I dont want to think so much about the future. First of all we are starting, but i am aware that this – as ANY OTHER RELATIONSHIP – can end. Some people said, he can leave me for a younger woman. I answer them: A same aged man or older can leave also for same reasons. So, whatever it is, I think it is not only about the age. BUT: i think it is better to go with cold head, not in this kind of relationship, but in ANY, just to avoid dissapointments.
Like in any other relationship, I think time will tell me if this has future or not.
I have promised myself not to behave like a 20 years old girl, because I am not.
I think he feels attracted to me because of my maturity; therefore, I will behave like that.
Sometimes I feel like i have to correct him with something, but then i think, I am not his mother and dont want to teach him lessons that reminds him how young or unexperienced he is. Same way I wish he doesnt makes comments that remains me how old I am…. So I think the ideal points is just to try that we both feel comfortable with ourselves and with each other. I have showed myself the way I am and think he has been very honest to me in all fields.
I think I am happy and enjoying this relationship because I dont think so much about the future.

aprilgal1976
07/04/2013 5:14 am

Despite us not putting a title on what we are as a couple, we both have agreed to date only each other, at his request! I love that-him wanting only me and for me to be with only him. It's very flattering!

Our time together, that being at least 4 to 5 days of the week, is so pure, extremely loving, passionate, exciting and electric. He loves to kiss, and so do I, and he does so with tenderness and warmth. As for our lovemaking? It is AMAZING, so hot, and lasts for hours, and it is just so good for us both that we are completely enthralled with each other.

So when I find myself worrying about the difference in age, I find that the pros definitely outweigh the cons. There is no way I am going to even entertain the thought of letting him go, that would hurt me deeply and he as well. And besides, being with him has made me realize just how unhappy I've been for a very long time, seeing as how happy he has made me; my cup runneth over!

Who knows what the future will bring? Having this beautiful, sexy and emotionally rich man in my life is beyond the most wonderful gift I could have ever expected to receive. And as long as he feels the same, and believe me-he is lavished with my praises-then that is how long I plan to be his lover, friend, and companion.

And yes, we are falling in love, and it is simply delicious. For the rest of my younger-man loving cohorts here on this blog, I hope and pray your coupling with your younger man is as lovely and sweet and hope-filled as is mine. God bless you all and let's focus on being happy!!!

aprilgal1976
07/04/2013 4:44 am

Hello!

What a refreshing blog, and a relief to find that I am not alone!!! For the past month and a half, I have been dating a sensitive, loving, affectionate, sexy, beautiful, and gorgeous young man… he is 20 years old and I am 37!

Yes, there have been concerns on my part mostly; I do have some insecurity about getting older, while he will still be very young. Especially the idea of him possibly finding younger women his own age more appealing as time passes on!

we are falling in love with each other. We both agree to that

lovegerminated
lovegerminated
06/27/2013 12:29 am

I am excited to stumble upon this website. I am 52 and a man aged 32 fell for me. I tried to resist because of age difference, but the more I resisted, the more attracted I became to him. He is a wonderful young man who has revitalized my love life after six years when I broke up with a dishonest man. Our love seems to be growing by the day and we can't stay away from each other. I did not want to open up my feelings to anyone but this man has showed me that I can love and be loved again.

Jo
Jo
06/25/2013 7:16 pm

I am 64 and have been in a somewhat romantic but very intense sexul relationship with a 41 year old man. The first time we met, he made it clear that he found me attractive and pursued me for 5 months before I finally agreed that we could get to know each other better. We are friends and lovers, but I think we both know this will not be a long term affair…..we have only been intimate for the past 5 months. His first marriage was to a woman 10 years older and he admits that he prefers much older women. We stopped seeing each other for an entire week thinking that we both needed to move on. He called me to talk and we met later on. He told me that he loves me and I said it back that night but the confusion remains, Friends my age think that he is using me for sex. He has a corporate job, makes good money. He was married 16 years and has step kids and wants no kids of his own. Yep, he has some faults, as we al do. I can tell that he really cares for me, but I keep pushing him away. I am facing facts….there is just too great of age difference andI don't want either of us to get hurt. It is just too hard to break off all ties since we have beome very close. I do not pursue him, but let him do the wooing. I feel sure that i am not his only lover, but I refuse to put any demands on our relationship. I just do not look forward to ending this love affair and wonder if I should. He has even asked me to a family outing and I would be meeting his mother who is a couple years younger than I am……I said NO! He does make me feel good about myself in many ways and well…the sex has been fantastic!

Patty Cake
Patty Cake
10/25/2017 8:31 pm
Reply to  Jo

are you still together? i hope so