Younger Man / Older Woman

younger guy older woman dating adviceIt is not rare to see a younger guy and an older woman date and have a very intense sexual and romantic relationship, which defies the traditional “older man, younger woman” set-up that we are used to seeing. This is not surprising. First, the fact that such a dating situation is still somewhat taboo makes is all the more enticing and exciting. Many younger guys are driven to women who are 10 years older than they are or more, as these women are often more confident and more sexually driven and passionate than the younger women. These younger guys are both curious and excited about dating a woman who, is not ashamed of what she wants sexually, unlike the younger girls of his own age who are often confused about just about everything, including their romantic and sexual desires. That relationship between a younger guy and an older woman is likely to be supercharged by a combination of the younger man’s peak sex drive and the older woman’s confidence, experience and her own sex drive. There are some other compelling reasons for why older women are more attractive to younger guys. And of course, it’s not a secret that women in their thirties and forties have a much higher sex driver than the ones in their twenties. That higher sex drive translates, among other things, into being more direct with men.

The more mature women may be interested in dating a younger guy out of sheer curiosity of what it feels like dating someone younger, and also because usually younger guys are more “agile,” active, energetic. Being around a younger guy makes a woman feel younger as well. No woman is attracted to a guy who is a couch potato or who is unable to climb a set of stairs without being out of breath, especially if the woman herself is very active. Young guys have a stronger sex drive and are naturally hungrier for a woman’s body. Few things are more flattering to an older woman than being with a younger guy who craves her body and who is more eager to be close to her physically than any older guy would.

Often, a younger guy and an older woman would “decide” upfront that their relationship will be casual, and that they should not expect any commitment from each other, because they know that the end of that relationship is inevitable because of the seemingly irreconcilable age difference. Ironically however, the very fact that the two people remove the pressure of commitment from their interaction increases their sexual attraction and passion toward each other and their desire to be with each other, as their relationship is not clouded by fears and complications of commitment, long-term relationships and related issues.

As a result of that increased romantic passion and sexual connection, the two people are actually more likely to develop strong feelings for each other and to feel very attached to each other – something they never planned for, but also something that happens quite often and is so far beyond their control. This is in large because it is simply impossible for a man and a woman to have a great time with each other, enjoy a special sexual connection over a long period of time and not develop feelings for each other. There are also other significant reasons why a younger guy might especially enjoy dating an older woman.

So, what should a woman do – should she not have started dating a younger guy in a first place? Should she have cut it as soon as she felt that she was developing feelings for the guy? Or… should she continue seeing the guy, enjoy dating him as much as she can while she can, and not worry about the outcome of the situation too much, without thinking about the future too much?

I don’t think any woman can find an absolute and unequivocal answer to this question, and I frankly don’t believe that such an answer exists, as it would heavily depend on that specific woman’s goals and needs at that specific point in her life. An older woman might have the greatest time of her life dating an energetic, exciting, attractive young man, but she is also likely to feel that she is wasting her time being with a younger guy and knowing that it is not going to turn into a long-term relationship, instead of pursuing a relationship with a man with whom she could establish a family and have children in the nearest future as the biology would dictate to a woman who is aware that her biological clock is ticking.

But then again – not every woman wants family and children. Certainly, commitment, family and children are the last thing on those women’s mind who felt “suffocated” in their prior relationship or marriage, went through a challenging divorce or a painful break-up, and who feel the urge to enjoy and celebrate their newly found freedom.

Ultimately, no one can objectively advise a woman whether she should date a younger man, as only she knows what her goals are, and only she feels her needs and desires are at that specific stage in her life considering the unique circumstances of her present emotional state and her dating past. An intense physical affair might just be something she needs to enjoy your life and to be distracted from her previous break-up or disappointments in men.

Some people are committed to live every moment to its fullest and will do what they can to enjoy what they have while they still have it. A woman who belongs to that category should enjoy your relationship with a young guy and all its benefits and thrills, while recognizing that it will eventually be over due to no one’s fault. Others consider the above approach to life to be irresponsible or even reckless, and feel much more comfortable planning their life out, including their love life. Women who belong to this category will not be happy sticking around a guy, if they know in advance that it is not going anywhere and has no potential to turn into an actual partnership.

Only you know which category you belong to or which category you want to belong to, and once you determine which approach fits your life philosophy, you are likely to make the right choice for yourself given your unique situation, as well as what you need and want at that specific point in your life.