It’s not a se
cret that many older men find younger women to be more desirable due to both, the physical appeal of a girl in her twenties and because being around a young woman makes them feel younger themselves and makes them feel like they still “got it”. At the same time, there are several reasons why a younger guy might enjoy dating older women, and why that experience might be in at least some ways far more enjoyable than dating girls who are still in college or who just got out of college:
1. Dating Older Women Tend to Be More Interesting.
The more mature woman is likely to have had more interesting life experiences, which in turn made her a more interesting person – a more stimulating company with interesting views and opinions. Her personality is likely to be more developed and more stable, which might make any interaction with her easier and more fun than with a younger woman who is shy and who has a number of other hang-ups about men. Although of course older doesn’t mean automatically smarter and more interesting, one would hope that most of us become wiser and otherwise more mentally attractive as we gain life experience with passing years, which is a combination of meeting and knowing how to interact with different men, lessons from past relationships and an ability to appreciate what those women used to take for granted.
2. Dating An Older Woman Is Likely To Be More Fun
As a general rule, older women are more open minded. They can take a dirty joke. They can take criticism and dish tough love of their own. They don’t get offended as easily as the younger women do. The more mature women are entertained by sarcasm and other kinds of dark humor rather than being intimidated or offended by it, which makes talking to them all the more enjoyable. You will not have to walk on eggshells when talking to an older woman as it takes much more to offend her than a girl who is in her late teens or early twenties.
3. An Older Woman Is Less Likely to Pressure You Into a Relationship
An older woman, especially the one who has been married before and/or who has children, has already had everything a younger woman dreams about having. She realizes how many misconceptions younger women have about meeting Mr. Right and what that perfect guy should be. The older woman is much less likely to pressure you to settle down with her and have a long term relationship, in part because she wants to take things slowly and not be rushed into anything after being married and living with a guy for a long time. She might just be enjoying her newly discovered single life. If you are not ready to settle down, and you are put off by women’s pressure to determine exactly where you stand with them shortly after you start seeing them, you might find dating an older woman to be easier and more fun because you are unlikely to experience that pressure.
4. Older Women Are Likely To Be Better Sex Partners
It’s not a secret that women’s sex drives significantly increases from their thirties forward. That, coupled with confidence and comfort with oneself which comes to women with age is likely to make a more mature woman a more open and passionate sex partner – someone who is proud of her desires rather than ashamed of them, like some of the younger and the less experienced women are out there who are still searching for who they are and who they ought to be.
If you can think of any other advantages to dating an older woman, please comment below, and I will consider adding your thoughts to this article to make it more useful and comprehensive.
I am 56 and feel like i am 36. i have been having sex with a 36 yr. old which i might add is incredible. .i am pretty incredible too.He first approached me on Fb. i have never had sex that good. we have a lot in common. every time he says something about anything that he likes i like it too. Both sagitarians. we have a lot of the same interests its just i wish he would notice me and not be so insecure about our ages.. i would like to go out and do things. i wouldn’t be all over him. just want to do things. go to a nascar race or something. Not looking for marriage or love. i just have a connection to him. I just want to have fun for a change in my life. I have been married. widowed now but married young. Never had “fun” now i want to. Not attracted to older men.
Hmmm. While this article most certainly highlights the good parts, it doesn’t really speak from the older woman POV.
I’ll be 49 in a few weeks. I won’t lie…I may be attractive but I know I don’t look like a woman in her 20s. Meanwhile, I’ve become involved with a 23-year old who will not stop pursuing. I absolutely love the person he is, his kind and open heart, ambition, dedication, his crazy thrill for life – it’s been wild getting to know him, and mostly because I identify with all these things. But the drama isn’t from me…it is most decidedly from him.
He does and says stupid things, pisses me off, and rather than lecturing or pleading, I understand he’s sometimes simply lacking the life experience to factor MY perspective. I mean, seriously…I was a mother before he was born. If that isn’t weird, I don’t know what is.
I’ve already put brakes on our relationship half a dozen times over the past few months. But every time, he lays it down…he wants to learn all things about me, about how to be in a relationship, to treat me like a Princess, he wants forever (or so he thinks)…he just doesn’t know how, and emphatically asks me to teach him. “Be honest” he says. “Tell me what I need to know.” He is never shy to apologize and always admits when he has been careless.
And this is where my maturity kicks in. I can be honest. I don’t have to change him, I can move on. I am not desperate for him to understand or accept me, because I accept myself, flaws and all. I extend him the same courtesy and give him the answers he seeks about how to please me, without adding guilt to the discussion. I don’t need a project, or even a partner. At my age. If it isn’t enhancing my life, it’s just not worth my involvement.
I assume this is all short-lived. But I know we will both take away valuable life lessons. I’m learning to cherish a man without motives. He is learning how to be the man that any good woman will cherish.
Hi, Eva. Thanks for sharing your experience. I very much admire your mindset. As difficult as it might be not to have expectations and hope for something special and long term, the best approach in these types of situations is enjoying each other as much as you can while you can and appreciating it as long as it lasts, while realizing that it’s probably not meant to be a full-blown long term relationship, and it’s ok. It’s neither your fault, nor his.
Some young men pursue “older” women like it’s a national sport. They think it’s a rite of passage. There are, however, younger men who genuinely love women, regardless of their age. It has been my experience that they focus on the individual, not the date of birth.
I have been in a relationship for 4 years with the guy who was 18 years younger than me. What can I say, it was the best relationship of my life.Great lover, great friend, great everything. So, it depends. I look very young and mostly get approached by younger men. But I have lost interest. Actually older guys much better in bed (in terms of desire to please) and much more interesting. Of course there are always exceptions.
Thanks for sharing your experience. I can’t help but wonder – what made you lose interest if he was so great in every way, and – why at that specific point and not earlier or later in your opinion?
I have not met a guy who likes to date a woman older than them.
Oh, there are plenty, especially among the younger guys. Let’s take someone in his early 20’s or even younger. He might be frustrated with all the inconsistent behavior of the girls of his age and he would find women in their 30’s or even older to be much more reliable and sexual. Many guys can report having an affair or a relationship with a much older woman during their younger years.
That’s good for them. But the younger men I surround myself with, do not agree. They often mistake it that the older woman is a COUGAR, and that doesn’t sound pleasing. I’ve heard that some older women have lost their sparkle/light, that is why some of these men I know don’t go out with an older woman. Truth is: A woman, no matter what her age is, is radiant, alive, and takes good care of herself.
This is all very interesting. I went into my last relationship with a slightly older man in my early 20s and came out in my late 30s. No marriage but it felt like one. Anyway, since the split I've mostly been approached by younger men. And since I hit 40 it's been even more interesting as a 26 year old has come around. I'm just musing…
@ Ms. Kitty – this is interesting indeed. I am sure that one reason for this is that it's easier for younger guys to approach older women because the latter are a friendlier, more open and are also known to be more confident and less flaky.
this is true! older women have no problems satisfying a man,compare to young women,where you have to do millions of stuff,to get in her pants!
That's funny and doesn't sound impossible.
I have been married for 3 years with my wife which is now 37. I have just turned 30 in June. I met her when I was 16, we were not dating but she was my sisters best friend that’s when I fell in love with her. We have a son who is 2 years old. All I can say is a relationship is a relationship, you get your ups and down. Indeed its not the same as with a younger woman’s. The intercourse has been great since day 1 and it does not end at all, sometimes I wonder if Im able to keep up lol. Just love yourself older woman want men who can put themselves emotionally on both gender sides and open honesty. So take your time enjoy life/sex and build a great relationship that breaks the norm of society.
I'm a female 36 dating a male 29. I don't feel 36 infact I have the energy of a 21 year old but mature in mind of course. I still get carded for alcohol. Some times I feel insecure about my age and think that he deserves a younger women. But then I think… Well younger women seem to be allot more demanding, bossy, controlling, nagging, leachy, emotional, jealous and less understanding about men. 36 and wiser I think I understand the male phsyche a bit more or allot more than when I was 22 biologically. Men DON'T like to be nagged, men DON'T like whiny little emotional babies. Sorry, but I remember being 22, sure there's the exception from many aspects. Then also men tend to run away when the word commitment comes to mind. I'm to independent now to think about that and I'm allot more stable mentally. This is only from my point of view I'm free spirited, confidant most of the time ha, ha and happy person. Maybe that's why he sticks around. Good luck!!!
awesome…I am 59 and dating a wonderful 46 year old man..not a bit worried about anything..our sex life is incredible..and we enjoy each other everywhere else..all day long..he was nervous when he approached me on a dating site..I reassured him I would be very interested in meeting him..our first meeting was magical..we have never had anyone even imagine I am older..we look great together..he gets a thrill when he sees other men admiring us..I was married 33 years to an older man..I am so happy now
Hi Rudolph, I’m like you but I am a 46 year old woman with a crush on a 26 year old man. I feel really attracted to him but am also scared that it would freak him out if anything happened. I think about him all the time and have become really arroused thinking of what could happen between us. I keep on telling myself it’s my first fantasy and I’ll get over it. I look forward to seeing him…
I've been with a younger guy for two 1/2 years, he has two children whom he loves very much,he's a Mr. mom himself. we laugh alot, and go out too,he states he's never had so much fun,we do family things too with his kids. i am 49 and he is 37 y/0, we our 12 years difference,i am taking it one day at a time,we findly have said the (L) word recently it's kinda scarey,but live life to your fullest!
I am 26 and for the first time ever I got a crush on an older woman. She is 46.
It hadn't happened to me before as I usually go for girls my age. But there's something strong about this woman that got under my skin (in a good way). She's got an amazing personality and is a very charming lady. She's good looking and looks younger than 46.
I really enjoy her company and I think she enjoys mine too, but I'm affraid of making any moves (even subtle ones). Maybe it's the fact that she's got children or it's the 20-year age difference. I'm just too shy and feel as if I would be doing something wrong.
Wasn't looking for a younger man. My neighbour asked me to help out his son (who didn't live at home with his family) by giving him work around my house. So I did. One day the father begged me to have him shower at my house before he had dinner at his. So as I'm begging this 23 year old man/boy to shower at my house and really noticed him and I think my begging looked a bit more like flirting. I wouldn't call myself a Cougar, as I don't search for younger men only. That night while he was across the street at his parent's I couldn't get the thought of him out of my mind. It was the first time in a long, long while, that I had these feelings. I sent him a text to let him know if he wanted to come by after dinner to finish up some work, he could. No response…..heartbroken, then full of guilt I sent another message apologizing for my behaviour and to ignore my previous text. Funny enough, he didn't get my intentions until my apology, and apologized himself for not responding sooner. He was hanging out with his brother playing video games, and said he felt the same way but didn't know what to do. At first it was all about great sex and hanging out but as time went on, I realized for the first time in any relationship how free I really felt with him. Not only did he laugh at my jokes and find me interesting, I had never laughed so much myself. As it turned out, although we are both very active and fit….we are also both homebodies. We do everything together….shopping, dinners, shows, we have become great friends and lovers. I was worried about the age difference and we spoke about it. He much preferred my maturity over other girls/women his age. Both our lives have improved while with each other. It's taken a bit for me not to feel guilty but have realized that we are both in similar places in our lives. This is not going to be a short term relationship but I also know that it won't be forever. btw…..my children who are both away at University have found out and I'm glad they know. Also, his father knows. We are open about our relationship in public, and are not afraid to show affection. I really appreciate all that I have with him and am very grateful for the chance to have met someone so special.
I am 45 and have 3 different boyfriends who are 10 or more years younger than me. I don't see a big deal in this – in each case they were attracted to me, and I enjoyed their lack of baggage (never married, no kids) and more carefree attitude, higher energy level, great sex, etc. One of them wanted to get married! So you never know – age is just a number…
We've been together for more than 7 months and I admit it's hard but then relationships are ALWAYS hard even when I was still dating guys 2 years older than I am. This guy I am with now is 20 years younger than me but we are just so much in love. I struggled a bit at first since this is my first younger guy relationship – I find it hard to believe that he would like me and not girls at his age. I really struggled but he always made me feel assured that everything is okay. Our culture might be one of the barriers in our relationship because ours is a conservative culture that considers "rules" when it comes to relationships but we still went on together and we've never been happier. He says he can't imagine life without me. I think he's very sweet and respectful. He always ask me if I wanted to do some sex position he wants to do and if I'm not comfortable with it, he wouldn't insist (and he wouldn't sulk either).
I guess i was skeptical at first but after 7 months together, I can say these relationships do work.
in my relationship history, i was married to a man 10 years older than me and then mostly in relationships with younger men since we divorced. this has not been intentional on my part, i am certainly not a cougar.
i'm 48 years old. i have friends of all ages and broad interests. whenever i got out socially younger men actively seek me out and mostly are quite aggressively sweet in their approach with me. i am not out there encouraging it and when it happens i am always pleasantly surprised.
without being too generalist or generational, the younger men i've been involved with (most recently at 24 year old) are confident, love older women, are great sexual partners, and very excited by me and who i am, we talk openly about stuff, including fantasies, life the universe and everything and it's all very playful and light. i enjoy his health, his joy, the way he looks at the world and the way he sees me.
i am not ageist and open to whomever i connect with and vice versa. love comes in all different shapes. enjoy it when it comes.
I am 54 and have a relationship to a 18 year old, it is perfect for us
I am 44 dating a 26 year old….He is incredible in bed! But then so am I! He is a mature 26 year old more mature than most of the older man I know. YES!!!!1
I don't see anything wrong with dating or marrying an older woman. Old age is really the only issue.
I have just resently begun seeing a woman 47 and I am 34. I first got connect with her htrough jer son who has atism. I was his coach and she was the typical soccer mom. We use to have a lot of small talk and I would flirt with here knowing that there was a chance her and i would get togehter… But then after a few weeks of gympses across the gym, getting closer to her with her son, she evtually reached out to me for some added support for here son – So be gan talking, going to simliar sporting events for her son, talking halks and holding each other in here arms… we share a lot despite the close to 15 years apart. We both are in rocky marrages – so we found each other when we were in uhappy places – built a friendships that has rapidely moved into uncharted waters… I’m attacted to her and she is to me – this is definetlat passion when we are together… I care alot about here and her son too… Thier father is no good – yells, hits, does help, thing always inconvience him and we works alot… but there is good $$$ in the house..
Something sexual is going to happen in dure time… not sure about our other parties…We;ve gotten oursleves in a pickle and need to find a way out that doens’t desroy us in the process. I could marry her and adopt her son and be happy!!!
Life is for living,don't worry what other people think as long as you are not hurting anyone, when you get drawn to each other, it is uncontrollable and explosive satisfying sex you can experience. Communication is the key, we have al ot in common both traditional and morals . With this guy I have got rid of all my inhibitions and experiment together.
He is 26 shy and intelligent and am 46 i feel we are at the same level peak sexually are teaching each other other things in life. I'm giving him confidence in his career.
I'm an almost 27 year old male, who is dating a woman who just turned 44 on friday. I got tired of all the crap girls around my age bring with them… having someone who is mature and realistic is much more enjoyable, and things are more relaxed, more natural in normal social settings, or even just hanging out. I can be a smart ass and she'll give as good as she gets, its great 🙂 And the sex is incredible.
i guess eventually the trend will shift and women will be asking, 'am i old enough for him since he likes older women? maybe he wants older.' instead of thinking, 'i'm too old for him.'
viva change 😀
I am 34 now. I have been through, dealt with more crap than the average 34 yr. old male. When I was 22 I dated a 37 yr. old woman. She was more interesting than younger women. Her sex drive was phenomenal. Anyway, I married at 27 to a woman that was the same age as me. There were some interesting conversations. Her sex drive was in low gear. We did not have much to talk about. In a nutshell, the marriage didn't work out for many reasons.
Now, I am single. In the past, I have dated 3 women that were older than me. I have experienced that older women are more fun to be with. Not just sexual, but; in so many other ways. I feel that I connect easier and better with women that are older than me.
It has been a bit since I have dated. My neighbor would like for me to hook up with his mom. She is very hot. My neighbor, Ryan, and his wife are on vacation. His mom is taking care of the dog and cat while they are away. I am thinking of a way to approach her. Ryan and his wife told her about me. Apparently, she didn't shoot me down. She just said, "what if he [I] thinks I [her] am too old?" She is only 46. Trying to figure out the best way to "approach" her without being shot down.
All in all, older women are far better that their younger counterparts. I connect better with older women. The others—-single, attached, or married…….think and feel that they can get anyone they want. I think older women have a hard time meeting someone. A guy their age, they may feel that they are boring and uneventful. I think younger women are boring in some ways.
Older women have been through, and experienced heart break and pain. Now, that they are alone and single, many of them want to still live. They are not that old. Guys their age or older seem boring. They just want to meet someone and settle down. Probably, many of them need Viagra to get it up. Us younger guys don't need it.
Professionals say that the peak of the male sex drive is in their early 20s, then it slows down after that. That's a load of crap!! I'm still as horny as I was 15 or so years ago. I suppose it would depend on the guy. If a 50 year old woman dates a 50 year old man; I don't think the man will 'go down' on the woman. I, as a younger male, will definitely go muff diving. Women love it and want it. Not all, but; many. Some of them have never experienced it before. We, the younger generation, know so much more about G-spots and Z-spots (better arousal than the G-spots).
Still pondering on how to approach her without seeming needy. I'll figure something out.
I am 56 and feel like i am 36. i have been having sex with a 36 yr. old which i might add is incredible. .i am pretty incredible too. i have never had sex that good. we have a lot in common. every time he says something about anything that he likes i like it too. Both sagitarians. we have a lot of the same interests its just i wish he would notice me and not be so insecure about our ages.. i would like to go out and do things. i wouldn’t be all over him. just want to do things. go to a nascar race or something. Not looking for marriage or love. i just have a connection to him. I just want to have fun for a change in my life.
Thank you very much.
🙂
You are right: infact one of my best mistake is not living in the present.
Hey there.
First, your experience is of course based on a small number of women, and like in just about anything else – there aren't strict rules that apply to all. But I am sure that you have a point. It's only expected that an older woman would have some barriers. First, she knows that things are not likely to last with a younger guy, but at the same time they are afraid to get hurt. They might be concerned about wasting time with a younger guy who isn't going to settle with them in a long-term relationship and wonder whether the time is better spent trying to meet and establish a connection with an older guy.
Having said that, I don't think that 26/34 is an insurmountable difference in age, and you probably shouldn't be worrying about it too much. Instead, enjoy what you have an take it one day at a time without trying to predict distant future.
Good morning.
Sometimes I have noticed that older women build solid barriers between them and younger men.
It seems they have a rational part that makes them afraid of meeting this kind of boys. So they behave like moms and treat you like a child.
I admit that the things I have noticed could be the result of a misinterpretation: I have never really tried to conquer an older woman, so these considerations derive from the impressions I have had when in a short dialogue with an older woman.
So, what is your opinion? Do you think I am having a lot of a priori blocks?
I am 26 and I am becoming a doctor. Do you think I can date a 34 year old girl?
Thanks for your kind replying style.
🙂