Flaking is a known epidemic these days. With more to do, more distractions, such as Facebook, Instagram, online dating, etc… people are more likely to not return your phone call or e-mail or cancel seeing you on a short notice than ever before. Some simply can’t keep up with the sheer volume of the text messages the receive and the people they follow on twitter.
The bigger problem is that we become more tolerant of flaking and we have lowered our expectations not only with respect to others but also with respect to our own behavior. I noticed it on my own behavior and the behavior of a few other people I know. I subconsciously adjusted my own ways to those of the people around me. It appeared to me that being late or not showing up to a party, or saying “let’s do lunch soon” and never following through is totally acceptable, so I started acting the same way, because I knew that for the most part there will be no serious consequences – no one will be really upset, and I won’t hurt anyone’s feelings. That was my error in judgment that I didn’t recognize for a while, until I realized that instead of becoming one of the flakes, I could use this growing problem to my advantage by standing out and not being a flake. One day, I decided to commit to showing up where I say I will when I say I will. I promised to myself to stop being 5-10 minutes late everywhere and be on time or a few minutes early, wherever I go and whoever I meet. I decided to treat my social obligations with as much commitment and respect as my work.
This kind of punctual behavior sends subtle, but strong message to pretty much everyone you deal with. When you make specific plans and show up on time, others will assume that you have high standards, and that you expect the same level of follow-through and courtesy from them.
This applies to dating as well. Whether you are a guy or a woman – if you are prompt and punctual from the very first date forward, you send a message to your dates that you are a person who is serious about her life, about her schedule and about respecting other people’s’ time, and you expect the same in return. You are a person who operates at a certain level, and this is very attractive to those who live or who aspire to live by the same rules as well.
