How To Deal With Pressure From Parents To Marry and Settled Down

how to deal with pressure from parents to marryDealing with pressure from parents to find the right person marry and settle down is one of the challenges of dating that many of us have to deal with. This is especially common for those among us who are raised in traditional societies / families, where there is a much greater expectation that you will get married and have a family sooner than later.

So how do you handle that constant pressure and nagging from parents about meeting the person to marry and start a family with?

I believe every man or a woman who is subjected tot his pressure should have a balanced response to that pressure. On one hand, you should give your parents the respect they deserve and at least listen to where they are coming from, however repetitive and annoying this can be. You must remember that they have the best intentions and their pressuring you into having a family comes from their care and concern about you. They surely believe that life is not complete without family and children, and they want to make sure that your life is complete, at least according to their perception of it.

On the other hand, your life choices and your choices of who date, how, and for how long should not be motivated by your desire to please your parents or anyone else. After all, this is your life and no one can tell you what and who will make you happy besides you. Settling with someone just to make your parents happy will very likely lead to the mistake of ending up in a bad relationship or marriage. This means that if you know what you want and what you wish to avoid as far as relationships go, you must put your foot down respectfully but firmly. Having a few arguments about this might be painful but it will be worth it, because once you insist on doing what you want a few times, eventually your parents will leave you alone.

Of course, how firm you can be with your parents depends on how independent you are from you parents. It matters whether you live at home, and whether your parents financially support you. The more independent you are, the more firm you can be with them. If you don’t live at home, and your parents bother you with the relationship talk every time you see them,  it might be worth making a subtle threat to them that if they don’t leave you alone, you won’t be able to come over and see them (“as often”) because this pressure really bothers you.

And if your parents still continue to try to talk you into seeing someone against your will, disappearing for some time to show them that you are serious about wanting to be left alone might be another option to consider. Once you take this type of firm position, your parents will probably leave you alone, and you won’t have to make any more such ultimatums again. You may think that I encourage you to be cruel to your parents, but the reality is that sometimes you have to be kind of cruel for a short while to insist on what you really want and what you don’t want, so that you never have to be that way again.

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About practicalh

Practical, effective dating tips and relationship advice.
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5 years ago

I told my parents in my early 20’s that marriage and kids were not options for me and they never gave me any grief for it. Freedom rocks!!!