It is just as important knowing how not to ask a girl out as it is knowing how to ask her out. In many cases, it won’t really matter how you ask a girl out and that’s not what will usually make it or break it when it comes to her interest level. However, it is still important to come across as an attractive, confident guy, especially if you are dealing with a woman who you don’t know, or don’t know very well, and she doesn’t have much information to base her opinion of you on, except the way you meet her and ask her out. In these cases, the small things do matter.
Recently, one guy asked me a very good question, during which he mentioned asking a girl out by saying: “I was wondering, that if you’re single, would you like to go out with me?” At first, this looks like an innocent, direct way to ask a girl out, and there is nothing obviously wrong about it. However, looking closer, I can’t help but see that it will necessarily take things in the wrong direction. Although, I am aware that some of the most reputable sources of dating advice out there suggest that asking a girl if she is single is a great way to start a conversation, I believe that more often than not, it’s not a good way to start a conversation. First, it is way too direct. You might ask “Well, what’s wrong with being direct?” Well, if the girl is already interested in you, then there is probably nothing wrong with it. However, in the vast majority of cases, when a guy is asking a girl out, she doesn’t know much about him or doesn’t know anything about him at all, and as such – she cannot possible be all that interested in going out with him. Thus, in most cases, asking a girl whether she is single out of the blue is going to “corner” her, put pressure on her and make her feel uncomfortable.
Even more importantly, I always advise guys to avoid asking a girl out by actually using the words “Would you like to go out with me?” It’s best if you don’t use the words “out,” “date,” etc… Also, it’s better if you invite a girl out, as opposed to asking her out. “Would you like to….?” almost invites “no” in a sense. It corners a girl and is likely to put her in an uncomfortable position. On other hand “lets meet this Wednesday evening at 6 o’clock and take a walk together at this park and grab coffee” sounds like a much more appealing and confident way to ask a girl out. You don’t even have to explain to the girl whether it’s a date or not. You are not telling her that you like her. You are not telling her that you want to go out on a date with her and you don’t put any pressure on her whatsoever. Let her wonder – let her hope that it’s a date. And if she asks you “Is this going to be a date?” this will be your perfect opportunity to show you sense of humor and confidence by playfully saying: “Oh, no… it’s strictly business” while winking at her.
So, keep the above simple, practical rules of asking a girl out in mind, and they will likely help you to do better when you ask girls out.
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im about to ask a girl out that i really like. im not sure if she likes me or not. we hang out and go places together but dont do anything romantic(kissing,holding hands).im planning on asking her out and was wondering if this is the right thing to say? ” Jessica, you are one of the prettiest girls ive ever met, and was wondering if you would be interested in being my girlfriend?” is that good or should i change it up let me know. Thank You.. ronnie
If you’re not sure and have done nothing romantic then don’t ask. You need to initiate the physical contact if you want more than being just friends.
how will she know if this is a date or not? and what if she never asks if it is a date or not?
What makes it a “date” is not what you call it but your experience and the experience of the person who is out with you. Of course, what word you use to describe a meeting that is supposed to be romantic has little, if any bearing, on the outcome.
Then I already blew it. Aggh, I hate being such a newb at 22. Damn upbringing