Many guys seem to be making the same common mistakes over and over that make the women they are talking to on the online dating sites lose interest in them shortly after they start exchanging messages and before they ever get to even meet. Before you continue ruining your chances of meeting and attracting the women you would potentially meet online, make sure you never make three easy to avoid mistakes:
1. Don’t make it look like you are always online.
Many dating sites have a function allowing any user to see who is online at that moment. The moment a girl logs in, the next page shows to her all the guys who are online at that moment in her area. If you show up in that group of guys who are online every now and then, it’s good, as she will notice you, and if you have a nice picture coupled with an interesting profile, she is more likely to develop interest in you, and even if she doesn’t contact you first, she is more likely to respond when you write to her. However, if it looks like you are always online, no matter when she logs in, any girl who sees you online too often is going to assume (and probably rightfully so) that you either don’t have a life outside of that site, or you are obsessed with meeting girls and spend way too much doing that, or both. This is not the impression that you want to make. Limit the amount of time you spend being logged into a dating site and commit to not violating that personal rule.
2. Don’t respond to her messages right away.
There is no reason to respond to her message a minute after she sent it to you. You are not a customer service rep, and you should not be responding to her e-mails sooner than at least a few hours after she sent you a message. Responding the next day is perfectly fine too. If you respond a minute later, again it suggests that you don’t have a life and that sitting and waiting for messages is all you do, or that your work and other obligations are not that important to you, so that responding to messages on that dating site first for you. Again, this is not an attractive quality to show. Some may say that waiting to reply on purpose, even when you can write back sooner, is playing games, but this is one kind of game you kind of have to play in order to avoid making that bad impression of being too eager and too needy, and there is simply no way around it.
3. Don’t get stuck e-mailing back and forth for too long.
You should be able to ask the girl you are talking to online for her phone number by your third message to her. If you continue chatting online for too much longer after that, you are running the risk of her assuming that you are either too passive and are lacking in basic confidence to ask her out and talk to her in real life, or you are some kind weirdo who only wants to chat online without taking it any further, and who really isn’t interested in going out and dating.
Some girls don’t like giving out their numbers, saying something silly like: “I don’t feel comfortable giving out my number, and I would rather get to know you a little better online”. Apparently, they don’t realize that the risk of talking to someone unpleasant, or boring or dangerous is an inevitable part of dating, and no matter how many messages you exchange, there is still a possibility that you are a creep or some kind of criminal. I suggest that you generally skip to the next girl unless you are really interested in her and she asks you very nicely to exchange a few more messages before she gives out her number, so that you really understand and respect where she is coming from.