Like in real life, meeting women online means running into many “average” ones and meeting someone who is exceptional and clearly a more interesting person once in a while. This means that you will browse through dozens or hundreds of online dating profiles, the vast majority of which will look the same, but every now and then a profile of a woman will clearly convey to you that the writer is a different and likely to be a much more interesting woman than many others. Here is is a segment from one of the actual profiles from one of the major fee dating sites:
“I breathe theater and drink books. I love acting… being someone else even for an hour and a half show is amazingly therapeutic. I love becoming obsessed with a new singer and listening to their cd over and over while taking the long route home… I love New York City and its crazy people. I love dive bars, Karaoke, drive in movies, and old Hollywood glamour. And I love my friends and family and value them above all else. I’m a really spongy person and it’s easy for me put myself in another persons shoes… this has made me very sensitive and empathetic which is why people find it easy to share with. I’m a romantic and therefore am usually disappointed by the guys I meet… stupid fairy tales have tricked us women! I like to stand up for the underdog and give attention to the forgotten. I buy food for bums and feed all the stray cats I find. I cry at the SPCA commercials and laugh at the anti marijuana ones…LOL! I’ve never run over a little girl on a bike at a drive thru.
I’m looking for someone who compliments my personality and who has enough of their own to keep me interested. I am looking for someone who listens well and who can articulate his thoughts effectively. There’s nothing more annoying than having a one way conversation. I want someone who reads and is intelligent. Also, I am not trying to be rude, but i would like someone who keeps up his appearance… you don’t have to be Brad Pitt, but come on now…attraction is important.”
Obviously, this woman has head on her shoulders. If nothing else, she is interesting and quite articulate and must have more to her than some other girl who wrote: “I am not sure what to write on here…. I am independent, like to have fun, and like to have drinks with my girlfriends.” So, if you are interested in attracting a woman who, besides being physically attractive, is also very smart and interesting, your response also has to be different and exceptional as well.
So, you can’t just write: Oh, you write very well, you must be smart which I really appreciate and I would like to talk to you. How is your day going?’ While this is a nice compliment, it’s very generic – something that anyone could write, and many guys have probably already told her, but more importantly – it doesn’t suggest that you are also that exceptional guy who she should meet.
So, instead of replying with a generic response, you can respond to a woman dating profile much more effectively, by specifically addressing what she wrote on her page. Just take one or more pieces from her writing and have fun with them. And any interesting profile will give you plenty of material to do that.
For example, she says: “I breathe theater and drink books…” – To which, you can respond with something like this: “I never tried drinking a book, but I devour a novel every now and then, when it’s so interesting that I am unable to stop till I read till the end. I think I am going to hell for treating Borders and Barnes and Noble as a library rather than a business. I am sure you know what I mean. I feel guilty for not going to see theater plays as often as I would like to and… I don’t have a single good excuse for not taking advantage of all the wonderful shows in our area.”
Or, when she says: “I love acting….” It’s interesting, I always thought that ironically, acting must help people be more real, as when they act, they have the opportunity to more clearly see what they are not, what they are and … perhaps what they like to be.
Responding specifically to what a woman says on her page will make you stand out from all the other guys who don’t put any effort into reading what a woman actually has to say, and give no thought to their initial e-mail, which places them in a category of “all the other guys.” And keep in mind – the smarter and the more interesting a woman is, the smarter and the more interesting the guy that she is looking to meet is. This means that if you want to be attractive to an exceptional woman, you should be nothing less than exceptional yourself, and writing your first e-mail to a woman is a great opportunity to demonstrate that.
And make sure that you read other examples of great ways to respond to a woman’s online dating profile.
Great game. I've been reading all of these articles about responding to womens' profiles and I've enjoyed reading the examples. A common denominator I see in them is that you really relate to the woman. Like in this example, you make a fantastic observation about the art of acting. When the girl read that it probably made her day and got her super excited. So, that's what I notice in these examples most – getting a feel for a woman and then kind of getting in touch with her heart, making her smile, giggle, etc…