I keep hearing stories from my friends about how they travel to Europe for just a few weeks and end up falling in love with someone while there, after being single at their hometown for a long time and often – for years. I also hear about how the locals in my town (San Francisco) fall for people who come to the city for a short visit or business. I have also personally experienced having strong feelings toward a woman who was visiting in town on two separate occasions.
Reflecting back on my own experience as well as studying the experiences of others who developed strong and intense interest in someone who was visiting in their town for a short period of time, I found that there seems to be a common pattern and reason as to why people tend to develop such strong attraction toward tourists. This is because there is one element that clearly distinguishes our behavior when we travel – the things we bring up and talk about when traveling is usually very different from the conversation we have when we go out in our home town and when we deal with locals.
When you travel or when you go out with a tourist, you talk about your or his/her impressions of the new place one of you or both of you is seeing. You are having a great time, exchanging impressions about the new great places you see, the sites you admire, the people you meet, the foods you try, etc. You are sharing with each other generally positive experiences that are conducive to creating mutual comfort and romantic environment. Your conversation is usually nowhere near the mundane and somewhat boring subjects the locals would be talking about such as your job, school, paying bills, equity in your house, and recession. This may be very refreshing, and it often comes in strong contrast to your many previous interactions with your local dates, likely to create an emotional connection.
But, you don’t have to be traveling in order to adopt some of those attractive behaviors that many of us have when we travel. You can actually incorporate the same behavior into your own interactions with the opposite sex when you go out where you live. Staying away or at least minimizing the time you spend in the beginning on discussing the mundane, routine subjects such as getting into the specifics about your career goals, and the details of today’s economic and political issues is a good idea if you want to avoid the “friends zone” and create romantic dynamics between you and the other person.
Of course, no one can expect you to act like a tourist and look around yourself with excitement like you don’t know where you are, but keeping a conversation on a more interesting and less mundane note, while spicing it up with wit and humor, is of critical importance of being perceived by your counterpart as a romantic prospect rather than a friend or some kind of business associate.