I remember running into my classmate at a restaurant during my second year of graduate school. She was a hot girl. It was a fairly cold winter evening, but she was wearing a really tight tank-top and really short white shorts that were leaving very little for imagination. But she did – she was complaining about how annoyed she was that the guys around would stare at her and would undress her with their eyes.
I couldn’t help but mentally judge her hypocritical attitude – on the one hand, she was doing everything a woman could do to attract the (undesired) sexual attention from the opposite sex from showing way too much skin, when even the weather was not an excuse, and yet on the other hand she was complaining about the same. Her behavior is by far not exceptional. So many women of different ages and walks of life feel compelled to wear extremely revealing clothes and also post borderline porn pictures on Facebook, Instagram, etc… From selfies with duck lips to sticking their almost naked butt out in front of a camera – so many women often blindly follow what their friends do, believing that wearing slutty clothes will make them look “cool” and popular.
However, if this is the (on-line) image you create for yourself, you cannot expect to be taken “seriously” by those men who want to meet a woman that they could take seriously and have a relationship with. I am by no means suggesting that you should cover yourself up at all times, but there has to be some subtlety to how you dress an to your showing your sex appeal – in real life and online. If you want men to notice what’s inside your head, attracting too much attention to your body is the wrong way to go about it. If you do not want to be treated like a piece meat, do not put your “meat” on display, or at least not all of it. This is because when a quality guy sees a woman in slutty clothes (outside of the beach environment), he automatically assumes that she doesn’t have much to offer as far as her personality goes.
Some women say that they feel under-dressed when they don’t look as sexy as their friends when they are out. There is no reason to feel that way. If you are an attractive woman, men will see your physical beauty no matter even if you don’t wear 6 inch heels and a skirt that shows your underwear. There are many elegant and sexy outfit a woman can wear that don’t go overboard. Unless you want to be treated like a stripper by men, don’t dress like one.
If you want to be respected by men, it has to start from you respecting yourself for more than your body. This can be challenging for very attractive women who are used to having their beauty open all kinds of doors for them in life and who actually love when guys stare at them and undress them with their eyes. However, if it’s respect you are after, you should really consider changing the way you dress so that you get a different type of attention from a different type of men. There are so many ways for women to dress in a classy and sexy way without sending thew wrong message.
So, the next time you choose an outfit for a particular outing, a party, or for a social media / dating app photo – ask yourself what kind of attention you want and expect to receive in response, and that shall guide you in the right direction of what to choose to wear. And, of course what you choose to wear should depend on the occasion. A club mini dress might be perfectly appropriate for going out to a nightclub, but it’s hardly appropriate for work, even if you are in marketing, sales, etc…