“You are beautiful on the inside and out, you should be proud of who you area, you should continue to be yourself, and you deserve the best of everything that this world has to offer.” – many dating advice books for women, women’s magazines, and especially TV commercials contain this message that encourages women in so many words to feel good about themselves. One of the reasons that this message is being communicated so often is to combat the widespread problem of insecurities and self-image issues that so many women suffer from and are eager to overcome. This kind of advertising is supposed to make women feel better about themselves and restore or improve their confidence and sense of self-worth. These are undoubtly great things to work toward, and if self-help literature and the marketing industry can join forces in helping women improve their self-esteem, all the more power to them.
However, at what point does that kind of advice go overboard and causes more harm than good to women? When does telling women how wonderful they are actually has an adverse effect on their personality, demeanor, and behavior? Is there such a thing as too much self-worth? Is there such thing as self-esteem that’s just too high?
I believe that there definitely is a point, at which the never-ending honing of a woman’s confidence and sense of self-worth degrade it into arrogance and sense of entitlement. I don’t want to blame the media as being solely responsible for making some women full of themselves, but some of the bad dating advice books and TV commercials undoubtedly have that affect. We have all heard these L’Oreal and other cosmetics companies commercials constantly use the words “you are worth it” and “you deserve it.” The goal is clearly to convince women to spend the money on the high-priced items that they might hesitate about splurging on, by reminding them that their beauty is worth the money they are going to spend. However, being constantly bombarded with messages about what you are worth and how much you deserve will eventually get in your head and will make you think that you are and you should be treated like royalty.
Receiving relationship advice from books and magazines that says that you should not settle for anything less than you deserve, without telling you how you can become the type of woman that deserve the best, does not exactly promote humility among women either. As a result, some women out there develop this elitist, super-picky mentality, which ends up hurting them by making them come across as stuck up, and at the same time leads them to dismissing many great guys for petty, insignificant reasons, without giving those men and themselves a chance to find out more about each other and see if they can actually connect on a more meaningful level, regardless of the little differences or flaws that make those men less than perfect, as potential dating partners.
Women uniformly agree that a professional, accomplished man is more attractive when he is humble about his achievements. However, the same applies to women. A woman who is as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside becomes irresistable when she doesn’t act like she thinks she is god’s gift to the world and every guy who as much as glances at her.
Some women are lucky enough to realize that they are being too picky earlier in their dating life, while for others it takes hearing loud ticking of their biological clock to realize that perhaps they should adjust their rigid ways of looking at and selecting men, and that acting like they are entitled to a perfect guy doesn’t serve them very well. Some women realize that they are being too picky only after they face the regret of letting a few great guys slip away for no good reason.