How To Deal With A Guys’ Sexual Past

So you start dating a guy you really like, everything goes great and then, at some point, you find out from your friends or from the guy himself that shortly before he met you, his dating life was quite… “colorful” – he was sleeping around with many women, having many short relationships and one-night stands, and he may have had sexual experiences with women that seem to be outrageous to you. You find this disturbing and you get jealous. You can’t help but wonder about his past, all the women he has been with and what kind of guy he is, in light of learning that new information.  You start doubting the true value of your relationship, and whether that guy will be happy with you. Should you break up with him just because of his dating past, that he was open and honest enough to share? That wouldn’t make sense. After all, it’s his past – it’s the time when you weren’t even in the picture, so how can you blame him for something that’s not even directly related to you? Surely, his lifestyle was morally and ethically questionable, but let’s face the truth: most guys dream about sleeping around with many women at one point in their life or another, but few can actually make it happen. Should you get angry at him for being a player, and should you assume that once a player is always a player Not necessarily. While some guys remain players forever, others do settle down and ironically appreciate a great woman when they meet one after playing the field.

It’s very important that you know how to deal with a guy’s sexual past the right way, so that you make the right decision about dating or not continuing to date him. If you really like the guy, you have no reason to doubt his loyalty to you, and you are determined to overcome the concern that you have now, caused by discovering unpleasant details about his sexual past, such as promiscuity, there is one very effective solution to this issue that requires a two-step approach:

First, recognize and accept that the vast majority of men are subjected to this powerful drive towards novelty and variety when it comes to dating women and sex. Don’t judge this part of your guy’s physiology. Criticizing it and condemning it, even if justified, won’t make any difference and certainly won’t help eliminate how you feel about all this. Instead, truly accept his past as part of his growing up. This doesn’t mean that you should tolerate unfaithfulness today, but you should definitely learn to recognize that what he did in his past may not have a bearing on your current relationship, unless you let it. There must be a reason why he is with you today and only with you, and presumable that’s because he likes you and wants to be with you.

Secondly, change your perception of his sexual past. Instead of seeing it as some kind of stain on his moral reputation, see the good that in it – if the guy had many dating partners, this means that he is a popular, attractive man who has something about him that many women want and find attractive. Further, his dating and sexual experience probably made him a better lover and sex partner, and also allowed him to better understand himself and what he is looking for in a woman. That, in turn, might have just allowed him to make a more informed and correct choice of a dating partner, which is – you!

So, don’t let his sexual past get to you. It’s in the past, and if anything, it probably benefits you more than it hurts. And hey, you might just learn something fun and exciting about love, sex and intimacy from someone as experienced as he is while being with him – whether it turns out to be a short-term dating situation or a lifetime partnership.