A Reader Asks:
“I am 28 years old and I live in a fairly large city. I recently started online dating. I keep hearing conflicting advice about whether it’s a good idea for a girl to send a guy a text message after their first date if she liked him. Some books and dating blogs suggest that texting a guy after a date is a sign of desperation, low status, etc… What is your take on that?”
Practical Happiness Answers:
I strongly believe that texting a guy after a date is a good idea, if you liked the guy and would like to see him again. This is especially true if you think it wasn’t that clear to him that you liked him, because your date was short and/or because you are naturally shy, your body language when you meet someone for the first time is not very open, and you suspect that the guy you went out with might not be sure whether you liked him and are interested in going out with him again.
Any guy would be flattered by a nice text from a girl who he just had a date with, and it would encourage him to want to see you again if he liked you as well. He will perceive your text as a sweet gesture that’s just confident enough to show that you like him without being in any way needy and desperate. Speaking of which, it’s easy to avoid the risk of coming across as low status, desperate and all those other bad things that so many dating advice books for women warn against. You should not be texting “Lets go out again soon” or “I can’t wait to see you again” or anything like that. Instead, say “It was really nice meeting you” or “I had a great time” or “Thank you for a great time and have a good night” and that’s a strong hint enough that you like the guy and you want to see him again.
