There are three things that so many people out there do that send them right into that category of appearing lame as early as first date or even before that because they are such clear turn offs to the people who know better. I don’t care how common or even socially acceptable these behaviors are, as it doesn’t make them any less lame. The good news is that these mistakes are really easy to avoid, once you become aware of them:
1. Not leaving a voicemail to someone you barely now.
If that guy or a girl who you recently met called you and left a message, it’s only fair and reasonable that you also leave a message when you call them back, if they don’t answer. Relying on the missed calls notification should be reserved for your close friends, relatives, co-workers, and anyone else you know fairly well and are speaking with frequently. If you choose not to leave a message, at the very least send a text message and ask when it’s a better time to call and catch that person on the phone. “I don’t like leaving voice messages” or “I don’t like talking to a machine” are really lame excuses. If you don’t have what it takes to talk to a machine for a few moments, why should you deserve to talk to a live person?
2. Sending half-ass e-mails or messages on a dating site that show zero effort and thought.
Not taking extra 30 seconds to write your message in complete sentences is one way to show that you just don’t care about where that conversation is going. If you are a teenager or in college, you might still get away with it; if you are older, you should really consider communicating like the adult that you are. This again applies to communication with the people you don’t yet know very well and who you want to show to that you are an interesting person who cares about making the right impression. The form of your messages, of course, matters much less when you talk to someone who you know already likes you, and with whom you have already established a good connection.
3. Taking more than 24 hours to respond to a text message.
Unless you are really that busy (i.e. traveling extensively or working very long hours at an extremely demanding job that doesn’t allow for any interruptions), there is no excuse to wait a whole day to respond to a text message. We all know that everyone looks at their phone all the time (especially women). Not responding to a text message all day is not going to add anything good to your interactions with anyone. Again, it sends a message that you either don’t care enough about the person who sent you a text, or you just don’t care about getting back to people promptly in general. Or, perhaps you don’t know how to manage your time and your communication in general. Either way it makes you come across as lame. And, contrary to what some people still think out there, purposely not responding to a text message for a while does not raise your social status, and doesn’t impress anyone. If anything, it makes it look like you are playing games and pushes people away.
Again, the above turn offs are just a matter of common sense and they are so easy to avoid exhibiting, if you just think for a moment about the message that each of them sends to your date or to someone you would like to ask out.