So, you decided to ask this girl you are attracted to and interesting in getting to know out, but you are not sure what’s the best way to go about doing that. There is so much conflicting and confusing advice out there on asking women out on a date, that it’s hard to figure out which advice is most useful in your specific situation. Indeed, it is important to ask the girl out the right way and avoid the typical mistakes that so many guys make when they ask girls out. Here is five simply but effective tips for ask girls out the right way that you should keep in mind and follow to help you avoid the same mistakes that most other guys make over and over:
1. Don’t ask her out, but instead – invite her out.
Don’t start your conversation with “Would you like to go out with me?” or with anything else that suggests that you are asking her for something or that you are asking her to do you a favor. This kind of passive attitude implies a certain lack of confidence and initiative on your part. Women, especially those women who are “romantically” inclined – who want to love and be loved, enjoy seeing a guy who takes charge in subtle but important ways when it comes to going out and dating. So, instead of asking whether she would like to go out on a date, invite her out and start the conversation with: “Let’s take a walk together at this new park.”
2. Don’t use the word “date”.
As ironic as it sounds, you are better off not using the word “date” when you are asking a girl out. Instead, simply invite her to meet. The term “date” should never be part of that invitation as it takes all the tension and mystery out of the situation. Let her wonder a little bit about whether it’s a date or not. Let her be about 70% sure that it is, but not be completely certain. It will make things far more interesting for you and her. This is not playing games. This is being a little more romantic and unpredictable than others. And if she asks you if it’s going to be a date, this is a perfect opportunity for you to be funny and say playfully something like: “Date?! Of course not; it’s strictly business.”
3. Be specific about the time and place.
Don’t say “let’s go out sometime.” Name the day and approximate time of when you want to meet after she agrees to go out with you. Also, don’t use vague, weak words, such as “let’s hang out” as this implies some kind of passive attitude to your time together. “Hanging out” is the term for people who are either boring or bored, or both, and you should avoid using it when you are setting up a date.
4. Don’t make a big deal out of asking her out.
Don’t make it sound like asking her out is a matter of life and death to you. If you are tense and nervous when asking her out and if it looks to her like asking her out is a major occasion for you, she will feel just as tense and nervous. Make your invitation to meet sound as if it was the most natural thing for you to do (and it should), and this will help her feel comfortable and at ease with your invite as well. This doesn’t mean that you have to act like you don’t care at all. You should care and you should show your interest in getting to know her but without making it look like your life or happiness depend on her agreeing to go out with you.
5. Don’t plan anything too exciting or complicated for your first date.
The purpose of the first date is to spend time together and focus on each other rather than trying to impress her with some extreme adventure, or an expensive dinner/event. Save those for someone who you already know, care and who also cares about you. Keep that first date simple, where you have the opportunity to talk to each other and get to know each other without too many distractions that any kind of fancy or extremely unconventional date would involve. Some popular TV dating shows make it look like a helicopter ride or skydiving are good first dates, but these kinds of activities are probably the worst dates imaginable. When you invite a girl to that kind of date, you are basically saying too really unattractive things: (1) I am completely desperate to impress you with something really exciting; and (2) spending time with me alone will not be interesting enough to you, so we have to do this extreme activity to avoid any risk of awkward silences or me boring you.
Keep the above five simple tips for asking a girl out on a first date in mind, and they will likely serve you well.