Why Guys No Longer Go After What They Want When Meeting and Dating Women

young business man doubt at officeThere is a tendency among women to complain that today’s men are not as dominant and confident as they used to, and that they don’t have the balls to go after what they want. These women blame all kinds of factors for this passive male behavior – from online dating and social media, to the fact that today’s men were often raised by their mothers and turned to “mama’s boys” who need to be pursued and otherwise taken care of, rather than being the pursuers themselves.

However, when these women talk about guys not being as aggressive and as confidence as they would like them to be, they overlook a number of major reasons for this behavior that are related to external factors that have nothing to do with who today’s men are and how they were raised:

1. Modern Dating Advice

Both men and women have been bombarded and brainwashed with all kinds of books, magazine articles and blog postings about how important it is to be a challenge . Just about every piece of dating advice out there says that you have to make yourself less available in order to come across as more attractive. Like with other kinds of advice, many guys take this advice to be a challenge with women to the extreme. They start acting too cool, too uninterested, and play all kinds of unnecessary games, expecting women to do what men have been traditionally doing for many hundreds of thousands of years – not because that’s what these guys want, but because they were told that that’s the right way to behave in order to attract women.

2. Uptight Women

For every woman who wishes that guys were more aggressive and went after what they want when it comes to the women they like and would like to date, there are five times as many women who complain that men are too aggressive. They are offended by being hit on, and they can’t take even a mildly inappropriate come-on or a joke, instead of being flattered. When a guy who tries to approach a few women gets a response that makes him feel like he is being inappropriate by talking to them, he will be discouraged from being aggressive. When some hyper sensitive woman says “I can’t believe you just said that” in response to a guy’s joke instead of laughing, he will start believing that the right way to be around women is to walk on eggshells and to avoid saying anything even remotely controversial. This, however, will make him come across as boring to other women who are more easy going and not uptight.

3. Ultra Feminists

Dealing with the ultra feminists at work and in personal life – women who made their life mission to talk and act just like men – will discourage a guy from taking charge. It’s so much harder to tell that kind of women “We are going to X to have dinner” since her response, directly or implicitly, is likely to be along the lines of “You can’t tell me what to do and we are not going to go anywhere or do anything unless I consider and agree to it. After all, I am an independent woman who cannot be controlled by anyone, and you can’t tell me what to do.”

4. Sexual Harassment Laws

A guy who is trained to act like a neutered puppy at work for eight or more hours a day at a workplace, sterilized by sexual harassment laws that are extreme beyond any reason, is going to act differently after hours. That kind of work environment will affect his behavior with women when he is outside of work, and will make him act more “appropriate” or too appropriate with women, even when it’s time to be inappropriate in order to make your romantic/sexual interest known.

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About practicalh

Practical, effective dating tips and relationship advice.
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Lithuanian MGTOW
Lithuanian MGTOW
6 years ago

Sorry, girls, but MGTOW.

Bye.

Mickey
Mickey
8 years ago

"Also, let us not forget all the valid complaints that women have against men."

We shall not. Where do the majority of complaints come from you ask? The same man-haters who chase after the bad boys, who come to detest the male of the species after getting burned by the womanizers, thugs, drug dealers ant the like. The same man-haters who wouldn't (or more likely refuse to) recognize a decent guy if they sat next to one on a bus.

Mickey
Mickey
8 years ago

Once again, here's why the so-called "game" is rigged to hose guys at every turn:

(1) "He approaches the wrong kind of girls." Yes, the man-hating kind, of which there are too many to count.

(2) "There is something wrong with his approach." Yes, the fact that he does approach.

and finally,

(3) "There is something about him that pushes all the women away." There is; he's a guy in the man-hating faminazi universe.

The defense rests. Your witness.

Mickey
Mickey
8 years ago
Reply to  practicalh

I remember when I was a kid, "women's lib" was a big thing in those days. Even then, it was impossible to have a discussion about anything without being called a "male chauvinist pig." I remember even being called one because the sports teams I was a fan of did not have enough women in the front office to this particular girl's liking.

Needless to say, the accusations of male chauvinism have mutated over the years to what we see now, which is a persistent, pervasive, vicious anti-man hostility.

This is not to say I (or most guys) have any issue with equal pay for equal work, and I acknowledge that women were treated horribly throughout history.

But now it seems to be a very convenient excuse to vilify men just for being men, and it also seems like men today are being forced to pay for past injustices we had nothing to do with.

Thus, in the minds of many women today, if you're a guy, you already have three strikes against you.

Mickey
Mickey
8 years ago

If, for example, putting your hand on a hot stove while it's proves conclusively that you will get burned, then you won't do it again, right? It's the same with trying to approach the allegedly "fair sex." A guy tries enough times with no realistic hope of success, what's the conclusion? Keep running into the same wall or cut your losses? No matter the sample size, if you fail enough times that proves conclusively, WITHOUT A DOUBT, that meeting the so-called "fair sex" is a continuing exercise in futility. Continuing to play a game where you know there is NO HOPE OF WINNING is what makes one a loser. This is why it is pointless to continue to believe in something that just isn't there.

Mickey
Mickey
8 years ago

When a lesson from past mistakes conclusively proves that there is zero probability of success in a given situation, why is it losing when one has the good sense to walk away?

Mickey
Mickey
8 years ago

Putting up with the man hating hostility is a big reason, too.