The Best Apples and Women Are Not Always at the Top of the Tree

The following posting got a lot of attention on Facebook:

“Girls are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. The boys don’t want to reach the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren’t as good, but are easier to reach. So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them when in reality, they are amazing. They just have to wait for the right boy to come along, the one who’s brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.”  

Although the above might sound eloquent and romantic, the message it contains is quite misleading and in many ways downright opposite from what the reality suggests. The best women out there are not always at the top of the tree. They don’t act unattainable just for the sake of being unattainable, as to them it’s a waste of time and effort. A truly confident, classy woman who has a lot to offer, and by that I don’t mean a lot of career ambition, independence, and other pragmatic qualities that the ultra-feminists like to praise, but the qualities that men find attractive on a much deeper and fundamental level – femininity, kindness, warmth, sex appeal, etc., is not going to play hard to get just for the sake of playing hard to get. It takes a very special guy to get her interest, but when she runs into such a man, her interest is going to be pretty obvious to him. She knows that the guys she is attracted to are very few out there, so she is likely to appreciate one more when she meets him, because she knows that it’s going to be a long while before she meets someone else she likes.

It’s unfortunate that many women have been trained to believe that the way to raise their perceived value in the eye of men and the society as a whole, and the most effective way to look cool and confident, is by climbing at the very top of that tree, i.e. acting unapproachable and even hostile. If they directed that energy toward actually making themselves more attractive on the inside, these women would have accomplished so much more in being more attractive and more desirable to the best guys out there.

Of course, walking around with your chin high up and having a runway model attitude is easier than considering what you can do to actually improve yourself as a person and how to go about doing that, but the latter is surely worth trying. Like in many other cases, playing hard to get and acting like you are some kind of prize is nothing other than yet another attempt to overcompensate for something that you are lacking. And any guys with the most basic dating experience can see right through that.

Guys often do the same. If a guy is boring and he has nothing interesting to say, and deep inside he knows that, he better dress up, put some shades on and act cool like James Bond, trying to avoid saying anything and remain the “strong silent type” for as long as possible in any social situation. It’s so much easier to create an appearance of being cool than putting an effort into becoming a more interesting and/or a more eloquent guy. But again, the latter is so much more effective at making any man more interesting and more attractive.

So, whether you are a guy or a woman, don’t assume that the best apples are at the top of the tree just because they are harder to reach. Carefully inspect the apples that are lower and are easier to reach. You might just be surprised to discover that an apple that’s not the biggest, or the most red, or the shiniest is quite delicious once you take a bite of it.