How to Effectively Beat Your Fear of Approaching Women

approaching girlsThe experience of most single men who are trying to meet women when out in about is similar. They all see the women they want to meet everywhere around them – at grocery stores, book stores, libraries, bus stops, at a gym  – but they don’t have what it takes to approach them, start a conversation with them and take things from there. Just observe any attractive woman in public and you will necessarily notice a few guys staring at her with that salivating “I want you but I have no clue how to meet you” look.

Then, as a woman leaves their site, the guys feel that bitter sense of regret for not taking advantage of yet another opportunity that life has presented to him due to that persistent and dreadful fear of approaching women and starting conversations with them. This very fact should make you eager to make a difference in your own life and not let those opportunities slip away any longer!

Make the Risk of Regretting Not Making a Move Encourage You to Approach and Talk to Girls

Thus, the next time you see a woman you want to approach in any casual situation in the course of your daily life and you feel that you don’t have the guts to talk to her or you don’t know what to say to start a conversation, think about this: once she walks away, your pain of regret for not taking advantage of that opportunity and saying something to her is so much greater than any anxiety that you are experiencing when you plan to make a move. Therefore, saying anything to her, no matter how silly it is, is so much better than not saying anything at all. After all, what have you got to lose? If nothing else, any interaction with a woman, no matter how awkward or unsuccessful, will be an interesting experience. In other words, you simply cannot possibly say anything that would be worse than not saying anything at all to a woman you are attracted to and would like to meet.

So… make that move! Few things are worse than not taking advantage of those opportunities that life presents to you and then regretting the same shortly after.

Do you at least to some extent believe that everything happens for a reason? If so, you must believe that the magnificent coincidence of having a an attractive woman hanging out near you for whatever reason is also not a coincidence. She has been placed there for you to talk to her, but you are ultimate decision maker and you must make that move.  It really does not matter how silly what you say is to just break the ice and start talking to her. As long as it’s not offensive, anything goes. You obviously have nothing to lose and everything to gain from that interaction. If nothing else, trying to talk to any girl will be an interesting experience and a lesson for the future that will make you better and more confident at approaching women. The best part is that it doesn’t matter what happens when you try to talk to girls. If you say something and the girl just nods or says yes/no and moves on, walking away – nothing bad happened. And this brief answer and walking away is likely the worst kind of “rejection” you will ever face. If you can handle that, you can pretty much handle any response from a girl.

Fear of Approaching Women And Talking To Them is Absolutely Normal and Natural

It’s just as important to realize and remember that your fear of approaching and meeting women is very common and absolutely normal. Think about it for a moment – had it not been for that fear, an attractive woman who is out and about would be approached by every single guy around her, because every guy wants to talk to a hot girl. It’s that fear of approaching women and not knowing what to say and how to say it what keeps those guys away from approaching every single attractive girl they see and makes those women’s lives “easier.”

It is therefore essential that you don’t beat yourself for experiencing that fear and that you don’t think that you are some kind of rare man with some pathological condition, whose fear of meeting women makes him weird, abnormal, or otherwise inferior. Instead, try to “befriend” that fear – treat it as a normal part of your being a man and accept it as a natural part of your personality. Stop treating your fear of approaching girl as some kind of personal flaw. It’s not.  Accept it and move forward about your business approaching and meeting women by looking at it as some kind of science that you can and should gradually learn while enjoying the process. Surprisingly, when guys accept having the fear of approaching and talking to girl be there without obsessing over it, that fear actually starts subsiding, opening doors to feeling more comfortable talking to and flirting with girls.

You may have many options of “meeting” women on the many dating apps that are out there. However, no matter how good these online tools become, they will never match the exciting feeling that you would get from approaching and meeting women in person. And, the same still applies to many women – it’s far more romantic for them to be approached the right way by the right or at least a normal guy than being “pinged” or “winked” or texted.

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  1. @Dave: Don't hold your breath.

  2. Mickey – Just wondering if the tide will change soon enough(?).

  3. Dave: The problem is that if a guy has to wait for a later time in life before women treat guys with a modicum of decency, he will become too old to care anymore.

  4. Mickey – The women want men to approach so that THEY will not get rejected.They feel that they are above that and leave it to men ( saying that it is the man’s job) .
    I imagine that we have to wait for a time later in life when they can no longer treat men that way. It has been our fault for letting them do this.

  5. Mickey – I guess that women want men to do the approaching
    so that THEY will not have to get rejected, saying that approaching is the "man's job". Maybe we have to wait a little longer in life when they cannot play such games and it becomes easier for us.
    It is our fault for letting them do this!

  6. Great story, Jack, & God bless you & your wife. However, it is not at all realistic at this point in time. Gender relating has gotten worse than ever, and male bashing has replaced baseball as the national pasttime.

    I truly believe that a large percentage of women today are unapproachable, hostile, and just don't like men. All the confidence in the world will never change that.

    Even if on the off chance that there might be the allegedly "special person" out there, I'm not convinced that it's worth the fight. Why continue to look for the proverbial needle in the ten thousand foot haystack when the so-called reward isn't worth the aggravation & hostility? One can take only so much failure.

  7. And of course my comment will never see the daylight. Don’t get me wrong, I like this blog but I REALLY HATE fake things!!!

  8. practicalhappiness.c

    Hello. Your comment has been approved. We are struggling between keeping offensive things out of the comments area but at the same time allowing people to freely express themselves on this site. If you can be just a little more respectfully to the follow readers in the future, we would much appreciate it. Thanks in advance for your attention and input.

  9. Jack: beautiful story and fake!!! If it's true what you say, why the hell you're still reading this kind of story???

  10. Seriously Jack, thanks a lot for your beautiful story 🙂


    Hello, Jack.

    Thanks for a beautiful story that proves yet again that life/god rewards initiative as opposed to waiting around for things to happen.

  12. Years ago on a cold evening, I saw a beautiful woman shopping inside a store window.

    Even though I was leaving town the next day, I closed my car door, crossed the street, walked into the store and approached the woman and began speaking a few words in French. Today we have two beautiful children and just celebrated 30 years of marriage. Miracles do happen!

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