The screen shot on the left was submitted by a reader who shared that this texting exchange took place shortly after he left a girl he met for a first date about 15 minutes into it, when she got on her phone and talked or about 10 minutes about something that was completely trivial. The guy’s response seems harsh but understandable, and I can’t blame him or walking out on the girl. Hopefully, this was a reminder and a wake-up call to her that some guys have the pride, the confidence and the balls to just walk out and away when they are being treated with no respect right from the start. And the more “options” the guy has with women, the more likely he is to have a short fuse when it comes to bad behavior and otherwise having his time wasted.
There is no reason for you to tolerate a second class behavior from someone you think you might be interested in dating and who you find attractive. What do I mean by “second class behavior” you wonder? Flaking, not returning phone calls, canceling dates repetitively with short notice, being unavailable more often than a reasonable person would, being “busy” all the time or otherwise treating your time as if it wasn’t important.
Putting up with the above type of treatment from anyone has a double harmful effect on you: first, it hurts your self-esteem and sense of self-respect because when you accept this kind of treatment from another person, you communicate to him / her and to yourself that you don’t deserve any better and that your time and life are not valuable enough and thus can be “played” with or disregarded with ease; secondly, any dating situation or relationship in which one person treats the other with lack of basic respect is doomed. If your potential dating partners is not good about returning your phone calls and e-mails and cancels your dates over and over until the two of you eventually meet, it’s probably not going to get any better later. Whoever hopes that their partner’s inconsiderate attitude and conduct will change and improve is deceiving himself. In the vast majority of cases it doesn’t, but it even gets worse. As a person gets away with more and more, he / she will take advantage of your tolerance more and more – something that will hurt you more and more as well.
So, don’t waste your time on anyone who doesn’t reciprocate your attention and punctuality, and who engages in this type of inconsiderate, second class behavior toward you. If you bring promptness and the ability to follow through to the table, you should expect the same. When you meet the right person, one of the clear signs that he/she is worth getting to know is the fact that communication, respect, and flaking are not an issue.
Good question. This doesn't necessarily mean that she will act the same with you, but it's a sign that it's not impossible for her to be disrespectful toward a guy, especially if she doesn't like him or is annoyed with him.
I know a girl who acted like this towards her ex-boyfriend, and that's why they broke up. Does that necessarily mean that she might might act the same with me? Does it usually depend on her or the partner?
So how does one address these issues diplomatically and without rudeness. Just in case there is actually a valid reason for the lack of contact for a few days? I would really like tips on what the correct thing is to say to this second class behaviour, so that you still retain your integrity? Any actual phrases would be very very helpful. Thankyou.
Great question. I think instead of attacking a person, or being overly cynical or sarcastic or otherwise starting a fight, coming out with an open heart and telling the other person how a certain lack in consistency of contact makes you feel might be a great first step. Something along the lines of "I want to share something with you… I like hearing from you and I like knowing that you are thinking about me. I am not sure why, but it bothers me when I don't hear from you for a few days… I am not sure if it's too much to ask, but even a small sign of communication more consistently would make me feel a whole lot better" or something along those lines.
What if she treats u badly online and doesnt like you to call or text. But shes nice to you in real life?
Then you should address it and ask her why she acts so differently when not in person.