You have a friend, who you feel you developed a great connection with and you started falling for. You have been keeping things platonic for a while, but you keep wondering what it would be like if you got involved romantically. At the same time, you are afraid that by trying to get involved and screwing things up you will lose a great friendship and things will never be the same between the two of you. What should you do?
My observations suggest that in most cases, real friendship and real connection survive the awkwardness of being rejected by your friend. It might cause a little friction or an argument, but at the end of the day – when one friend makes a move on another it’s nothing other than a compliment. Therefore, asking out a friend on a date shouldn’t risk a real friendship. If a guy and a girl are great friends, he leaned in to kiss her or tried to ask her on a date or told her how he feels about her, but she doesn’t feel the same about him, this should be a compliment to her. Even if things get awkward, this should be a matter of a short time between that awkwardness goes away and they can move on with being friends the way they have been so far.
Of course, if you get involved with your friend, but things don’t work out, chances are that it’s not going to be the same between the two of you, especially if one of you or both of you developed strong feelings for one another while dating, and especially if you stopped seeing each other later due to some kind of painful experience – a major fight, cheating on one another, etc.
The dilemma is inevitable – when you make a move, you are facing the above risks. If you don’t make a move, you will never know what kind of potentially great experience you are missing out dating and having a romantic relationship with your partner, possibly foregoing the magic of having that rare connection with someone on so many levels.
You may be asking your friends or looking for advice elsewhere on whether asking out a friend is worth the risk of being rejected or of ruining a friendship. However, only you know that, and no one else can answer that question for you, because no one can really step into your shoes and know how you feel about that other person and what kind of friendship you are risking exactly.
