Has it ever occurred to you that you tend notice people more when they walk slower, like they are not in a big hurry to get anywhere, rather than those who are in a rush, walking quickly down the street? This begs the question – why is moving slower a more attractive body language in men (and often in women as well)?
I recently conducted this simple experiment, where I asked random guys to stand by a busy cross walk in the business district of San Francisco and tell me which of the pedestrians who crossed the street they noticed the most, and who generally drew their attention among the large crowds. The answer was almost always the same – it’s the people who walk slower and a little behind everyone else. It’s as if they were separating themselves from the group, by walking slower than the rest. As you read this, it may occur to you that just about every time you see a very attractive woman walking down the street, she walks rather slowly. This is because she knows exactly what it takes to be noticed, especially if she likes attention from those around here, as most women do.
But why is moving slower is more attractive?
The explanation is simple. Most people are in a hurry and are trying to keep up with their daily routine and obligations. They are generally behind on what they need to do and are just a little late to arrive to their destination. A slower walk is a sign of patience, confidence, control / self-control, strength and calmness, which translates into a sign of a higher status among both men and women. When you have a calm aura, it makes others around you feel more clam and at ease. On the other hand, when you act anxious and jerky as if you were, it makes others around you feel nervous.
Think about James Bond. Although his character is fictional and unrealistic in so many ways, Pierce Brosnan’s body language is a textbook example of what it means to walk and act like you are in control. He does not seem to be overly rushed even in the most dangerous and the most stressful situations. He may be running from or after someone, but even in those situations he still doesn’t look rushed.
You can use the same strategy of moving slower to make your body language more attractive. Like anything else, you don’t want to take this suggestion out of proportion and to an extreme. You don’t have to crawl like a turtle and annoy others around you by being in their way. All you need to do is to make sure that you don’t look like you are rushed or like you are visibly stressed out by something, especially when you walk into a bar/restaurant/cafe or anywhere else where women might notice you as soon as you walk in. A good place to start working on your body language is by learning from the movement and body language of someone whose body language you admire. It could be any real life or fictional character – i.e. your male friend or a co-worker or a movie start, or anyone else who you believe has the kind of body language that projects attractive confidence and calm energy.
There is a fine line between an attractive body language that projects presence and confidence, and coming across as too full of yourself, which is anything but attractive. You have to find that balance for yourself.