How to Start a Conversation With A Woman in the Most Common Situations

how to start a conversation with a womanThe vast majority of guys beat themselves up over and over for not knowing how to start a conversation with the girls they see around every day.

So, how do you change that and how do you start taking advantage of the opportunities to talk to the girls you see around you all the time?

Besides being able to handle the fear and then anxiety associated with starting conversations with girls in casual situations, such as parks and cafes,  you need to have a few good, unique and interesting conversation starters that you are ready to use as soon as the opportunity presents itself.

Here there three great ice-breakers you can use in three very common situations to get a girl’s attention and start a conversation with her. It takes some confidence and presence to use them, but if you have what it takes, it will really make you stand out from all the other guys, because very few guys say anything remotely as original. And the best part is that none of the conversation starters mentioned below sound even remotely like pick-up lines.

1. How to Start a Conversation With a Woman Who is Walking a Small Dog

You see a girl on the street or in the park who is walking her small, very non-threatening looking dog, such as miniature poodle.  You come up, point at her dog and ask her with a 100% serious look on your face – “Excuse me, is this a Pit-bull?”  This should get her to laugh, unless she is in a bad mood and doesn’t feel like talking at all. Most likely, she will smile and say “No, it’s (whatever that dog is)”. If you don’t have a dog, you could follow up with “I am so jealous. I have been wanting a dog for this many years, but I hardly have the time or discipline to give as much attention to it as it needs and deserves.”  Then, you can ask her for her name and introduce yourself. The next obvious question would be “Do you live around here?” Chances are that she lives nearby, as most people usually walk their dogs in their neighborhood or not very far from there. After talking to that girl for a few minutes, it’s only natural for you to playfully say: “It was nice talking to you. Is is possible to see you sometime … without a dog?”

2. How to Start a Conversation With a Woman Who is Writing at a Coffee Shop

You see a girl writing with her pen at a coffee shop, library or anywhere else, and you say: “It’s so refreshing to see someone actually use a pen, instead of typing. I can’t remember that last time I saw anyone actually write and not type.” If she says anything in response, follow up with a question: “Do you think that writing will soon become obsolete, and they will actually stop teaching how to write in schools?”

Coffee shops are some of the best places to start talking to girls. Coffee houses usually have quite, relaxed and inviting atmosphere. You are both sober, and finding things to talk about in general should not be that difficult. The above ice-breaker is an example of how to start a conversation in an interesting and unique manner. I assure you that no matter how many guys tried to talk to that girl before, no one has ever start talking to her this way.

3. How to Start a Conversation With a Woman Who is Reading A Fiction Book

You notice a girl reading a fiction book at a coffee shop, on a bus or elsewhere. You look at her for a few moments, and then you say “It’s not common to see a girl read fiction these days.” Then pause of a few moments to let her acknowledge that she heard you and then say “Do you think that we are missing out by focusing too much on self-help and how-to books these days and not devoting nearly as much attention to classic literature and other kinds of fiction?” It doesn’t have to be this long or elaborate, but your question should force her to think for a few moments and then give you an answer that would require her to talk for a while and explain a few things.  Since she is reading fiction herself, she will likely be eager to say a few things in support of reading fiction. You can then follow up and ask her how she thinks not reading much fiction hurts today’s readers. This can open up so many different avenues to all kinds of interesting discussions about different books, writers, and from there you can take your conversation in any direction.

If you feel like you would be able to use any or all of the above conversation starters, you should take a few moments to memorize them, as they are only as good as your ability to use them immediately – as soon as the opportunity presents itself.

And for more practical, effective information on how to become better at approaching and meeting girls, check out our Powerful Pick-Up Audio Program.

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Practical, effective dating tips and relationship advice.
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8 years ago

I agree – its hard to disagree with that.

practicalhappiness (
8 years ago

That's true, but that's just part of the deal. A large percentage of girls are not interested in talking to any guy for whatever reason (too afraid to talk to strangers, seeing someone, et). Others might not find you their type. The girls who are open to being talked to and meeting guys would need more than just one witty line from you. You have to follow up shortly after the ice-breaker. When you just say one thing and stop, she will assume that this is all you wanted to say in the first place and you are not necessarily interested in talking to her. However, if you follow up, it will make it more clear to you whether she wants to talk to you or not. Otherwise, of course the girl is going to go back to doing what she is doing after responding to what you had to say. You can't expect her to keep looking at you and wait for you to say something again. I too am not a salesman by nature at all, and I would never want to push anything on anyone, but there are no sales involved here.

8 years ago

This is all well and good, but from my experience with things like trying to have an "interesting" and "creative" conversation in a coffee shop, is that MOST of the time the girl who go "yeah" and right back to her stuff. I might try to get her attention again after 10 minutes, but she does the same thing. After that I feel like I'm dancing monkey trying to get her attention – and often times she doesnt' deserve it – so I stop. SOMETIMES, and very rarely this will lead to a contact info, but then she often looses attention at that stage. Even more rarely, it might lead to a meeting afterwards, and so on. But most of the time she is not interested from the start.

Its hard to be a guy. You need to always try to be a good salesman with women, even if you are very, very far from being a salesman by nature. Not everybody is a salesman type, or enjoys being one.