I like testing the quality of any writing by asking – if you had to summarize what that page or the entire chapter says in one-two sentences, would you be able to do it in a meaningful way? The same applies to online dating profiles. What does your profile say about you? I have just reviewed two dozen of profiles or so (I know, I know – I should get a life), and here are my findings:
* About half of the dating profiles sound like a sales pitch and scream: “I am the best thing that ever happened to this world, so come to me if you are good enough”. This is hardly a way to convince a reader that you are in fact a great person to meet. Being a pushy salesman is a turn-off in the online dating world as much as it is in actual sales.
* The other 30-40% of the profiles say: “I write the same boring stuff that everyone else writes about – where I grew up, where I went to school, what I do for work and what I like to do in my spare time.” Boring someone by writing the same thing that just about everyone else does is not the way to capture the kind of attention that you are probably looking for. Are you looking to meet someone special? Well, guess what – special people are generally more likely to be interested in things that are also special. This applies to dating profiles as much as to anything else. A reader of a higher caliber is probably looking to connect with someone of equal or comparable level. It will take a compelling piece of writing to capture his/her interest. This doesn’t mean that your profile should be a literary masterpiece, but it should stand out at least in some ways as being unique, different and interesting.
* The remaining 10% or less of the profiles say what they should: “I am an interesting person and not because I say that about myself but because of the few things I share in my profile, and not necessarily about myself but about my observations of things other than myself.” This is what reader will typically find intriguing and worthy of noticing out of hundreds of other profiles. And if you are not sure what I mean, check out actual examples of great online dating profiles that should inspire you to write a great dating profile or to make the one you have more interesting and noticeable.
Thank you, Arkady. I am sending you a pair of pictures.
Dear Arkady,
it's me, Alessandro.
How are you? I know you are also an online dating expert.
I'd have a question for you. I am currently spending a little bit of time on an online dating website, where there's also a sort of minigame in which women rate men's pictures and viceversa. You click on the "start" icon and immediately a sequence of pictures to rate appears.
People in real life (male friends, female friends, cousins, girlfriends, other girls, etc.) tell me I am handsome. 5-6 of them say eagerly I am similar to Keanu Reeves, for example.
But on that website, my rates are incredibly low: if I obtain a 5-6, I am lucky 😀 Ha ha ha…
Now, if I can find a possible flaw in my aspect, it could be the fact I don't personify the typical supermacho with giant muscles, squared mandible, mature aspect, shabby beard and short hair: I seem a little younger than I am, I have quite long hair and only a lean, moderately muscular and athletic body. The fact is, I don't really think it's a flaw: Tom Cruise is handsome, but he seems younger, often wears long hair and is in a great shape without being a bodybuilder.
Female psychology continues to be difficult to understand 😀 ha ha
I'd like an opinion of yours about this subject.
Thanks.