I like testing the quality of any writing by asking Ā – if you had to summarize what that page orĀ the entire chapter says in one-two sentences, would you be able to do it in a meaningful way? The same applies to online dating profiles. What does your profile say about you? I have just reviewed two dozen of profiles or so (I know, I know – I should get a life), and here are my findings:
* About half of the dating profiles sound like a sales pitch and scream: “I am the best thing that ever happened to this world, so come to me if you are good enough”. Ā This is hardly a way to convince a reader that you are in fact a great person to meet. Being a pushy salesman is a turn-off in the online dating world as much as it is in actual sales.
* The other 30-40% of the profiles say: “I write the same boring stuff that everyone else writes about – where I grew up, where I went to school, what I do for work and what I like to do in my spare time.” Ā Boring someone by writing the same thing that just about everyone else does is not the way to capture the kind of attention that you are probably looking for. Ā Are you looking to meet someoneĀ special? Well, guess what – special people are generally more likely to be interested in things that are also special. This applies to dating profiles as much as to anything else. A reader of a higher caliber is probably looking to connect with someone of equal or comparable level. It will take a compelling piece of writing to capture his/her interest. This doesn’t mean that your profile should be a literary masterpiece, but it should stand out at least in some ways as being unique, different and interesting.
* The remaining 10% or less of the profiles say what they should: “I am an interesting person and not because I say that about myself but because of the few things I share in my profile, and not necessarily about myself but about my observations of things other than myself.” Ā This is what reader will typically find intriguing and worthy of noticing out of hundreds of other profiles. Ā And if you are not sure what I mean, check out actual examples of great online dating profiles that should inspire you to write a great dating profile or to make the one you have more interesting and noticeable.
Thank you, Arkady. I am sending you a pair of pictures.
Dear Arkady,
it's me, Alessandro.
How are you? I know you are also an online dating expert.
I'd have a question for you. I am currently spending a little bit of time on an online dating website, where there's also a sort of minigame in which women rate men's pictures and viceversa. You click on the "start" icon and immediately a sequence of pictures to rate appears.
People in real life (male friends, female friends, cousins, girlfriends, other girls, etc.) tell me I am handsome. 5-6 of them say eagerly I am similar to Keanu Reeves, for example.
But on that website, my rates are incredibly low: if I obtain a 5-6, I am lucky š Ha ha ha…
Now, if I can find a possible flaw in my aspect, it could be the fact I don't personify the typical supermacho with giant muscles, squared mandible, mature aspect, shabby beard and short hair: I seem a little younger than I am, I have quite long hair and only a lean, moderately muscular and athletic body. The fact is, I don't really think it's a flaw: Tom Cruise is handsome, but he seems younger, often wears long hair and is in a great shape without being a bodybuilder.
Female psychology continues to be difficult to understand š ha ha
I'd like an opinion of yours about this subject.
Thanks.