One of my friends, a software engineer, recently told me that porn takes about 40% of the total internet bandwidth. I don’t find it hard to believe. Internet porn provides easy “access” to some of the most attractive women in the most sexually provocative and arousing light that men would have otherwise never seen or even imagined. Being able to masturbate to good porn is the second best option to real sex with a very attractive woman. And many guys actually prefer porn over having mediocre sex or sex with someone they are not that attracted to, as at least when they masturbate to a pornstar, they can fantasize about being with her – something which is much harder to achieve when you are actually touching the girl you are not that into but you still go for because you don’t have better options at that time.
I am not going to preach total abstinence from watching porn and self-gratification through masturbation, as both acts are so natural to the man kindĀ and areĀ such anĀ important part ofĀ the vast majority ofĀ a man’s sex life, at least one point in their lives. And, when done “tastefully” or in moderation, masturbation can beĀ a convenient sexual releaseĀ and a pleasant distraction.Ā One just can’t beat the convenience of being able to satisfy yourself on your own terms – where and when you want it. This surely applies to women as well.
However, the downside ofĀ excessive masturbation while watching porn (or at any other time) is quite significant in that it may have a serious negative affect on a guys dating life, which is not necessarily obvious to those men who suffer from those consequences.Ā When you masturbate too much and when you watch too much porn, your need for aĀ woman in your life necessarily declines. Sure, you still want attention, companionship, intellectual connection and all these other wonderful things, beyond sex, that are part ofĀ dating and a healthy relationship. However, when you don’t need a woman as much sexually, it affects how you interact with women and how you behave around them on every other level.Ā Ā Simply put – you are generally less enthusiastic when trying to meet women or while on a (first) date. The desire to be liked, to attract and create mutual attraction simply can’t be as high if you have just gotten yourself off with or without watching porn. Ā This means that you are not going to appreciate a woman’s company as much as you would or court her in the same way, if you are not as hungry for her body as much.
Some dating advice guides for men suggest that it’s a good idea to masturbate before your date with a woman so that you don’t ruin your date by being too aggressive. This, however, mostly applies to teenage boys who truly can’t control their sex drive. But even they shouldn’t masturbate too often or too soon before the date, as it will reduce their interest in a woman, even if only temporarily, to a much greater degree than necessary, in order to avoid being too pushy with a girl.
I have asked several of my male friends who are in relationships but who are still masturbating every day to experiment byĀ refraining fromĀ masturbation forĀ at least threeĀ days and then having sex on a fourth day with their partner. They all reported to me that their experience finally having sex and their sexual sensation on a fourth day was so much more intense and so different from what they haveĀ been used to after years of habitual daily masturbation. All those guys reported that the women they have been dating or have been in relationships with for years looked and felt so much more attractive and sexually desirableĀ on that fourth day. Moreover – the womenĀ were surprised by their seemingly reborn amount of passion and sexual interest on that fourth day.
Avoiding excessive masturbation is like any other habit – abandoning it is easier said than done. But again – you don’t need to completely stop doing what most, if not all, guys enjoy so much. Ā However, reducing the frequencyĀ with which you get yourself offĀ to the more moderate levels, especially when you are dating or when you are trying to meet women, will go a long way toward motivating youĀ and allowing you to enjoy female company all the more.
You may ask – well, a guy can masturbate plenty without watching porn, so how is porn to be blame for it? This is partially true. The issue, however, is that porn arouses men when they otherwise wouldn’t be aroused and drives them to masturbate when they otherwise wouldn’t want to as much. Every time a guy watches porn, he wants to get himself off.
Although different men have different needs sexually, if you masturbate on average every day or more than once a day, this article is for you and should give you food for thought on whether your masturbation habits reduce your need for women and thus prevent you from enjoying meeting, dating and even having sex with women as much as you would have otherwise.
“Some dating advice guides for men suggest that itās a good idea to masturbate before your date with a woman so that you donāt ruin your date by being too aggressive. This, however, mostly applies to teenage boys who truly canāt control their sex drive.”
Typical female shaming tactics. Whenever a woman wants to get a man to do something, she will strike at his ego. “If you don’t do this, you’re not a real man” or other such variation.
Next time, when you want to state a point, try to do it factually rather than using manipulation.
Oh and BTW, asking a few of your “male” friends to do something isn’t a representation of the entire male population. Different men want different things.
The article is written by a man after much self reflection and conversation with a few dozen guys. No article and no fact applies to every single man or a woman. This article is designed to be food for thought for those many guys who can relate to the effects that porn has on them.