Practical Tips For Being In A Long Distance Relationship

long distance relationshipLife plays all kinds of interesting tricks with us, humans. It has us meet the people we like and become attracted to and interested in at the most unexpected times and places.  Thus, it’s not surprising that so many people end up developing great romantic interest in someone who lives far away – from one hour drive to several hours by plane far away, which can soon turn into a so called long distance relationship. Anyone who finds himself in a long distance relationship situation, has to ask himself or herself sooner or later – is that relationship worth the effort, the emotional investment and the commitment that it requires? This kind of question is answered very easily in Hollywood movies that remind us over and over that love transcends time and distance, but in real life, it’s a much more complicated issue.

Like in most other love related matters, there is no unequivocal yes/no answer to this commonly arising predicament in long-distance relationship as each situation is very different and unique. But you can make a correct decision for yourself and for that other person who lives further away from you than you would like to by considering the following three factors:

1. What is your plan? What is your partner’s plan with regard to your long-distance relationship? Do you ever plan to get together and be closer with your partner on a more permanent basis, and will it realistically happen in the foreseeable future? If not – if you are doomed to limit your relationship to phone and e-mail, then you are likely wasting your and his/her time, and you are better off moving on, and finding someone to date who is more accessible and the practical obstacle of distance cannot be overcome.

2. Are you in this relationship for the right reasons? – Many people end up in a long distance relationship out of sheer loneliness and to a degree – out desperation for company. Not being able to meet someone in their geographical proximity, they end up settling for online or phone love with someone who lives thousands of miles away, harboring unsubstantiated hope that one day, maybe, they will get together and will live happily ever after. In reality, it hardly ever happens. So, if you are in a long distance relationship, make sure that this is because you truly believe that you have one of a kind connection with the other person and that you are ready to put a lot of effort into hopefully being together in the future.

3. Can you afford financially to turn your long-distance relationship into a typical dating situation? – As hard as it is to admit it, the bottom line about making the long distance relationship work is money. I have seen guys who limit their search for a date or a relationship to their town, or within 20 miles of their city because they are too busy, they work too hard, and they don’t want to or can’t afford commuting too far to see their partner. I also know a few guys who have no geographical limitations when it comes to meeting women and who have no problem flying to see a woman once or more per month and/or having her fly over and showing her a great time. These guys also know that if they meet a woman of their dreams and thinks will get serious, they will have no problem having a woman move or moving over to where their partner lives and starting their life together.

 

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Practical, effective dating tips and relationship advice.
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StarsCollide
StarsCollide
03/03/2016 8:44 pm

Distance does not matter if the guy loves the woman, and sees them together marrying and really has a future together. There has to be an end goal after all the skyping/phone calls/email/facebook, because if there wasn’t, it is a waste of time and energy.

practicalh
03/04/2016 7:21 am
Reply to  StarsCollide

Absolutely. If there is a plan, and there is something to look forward to, it makes a long distance relationship much easier to deal with.

Donna
Donna
05/27/2012 12:46 pm

I agree with you my dear, I was in a long distance relationship and I loved that man with all my body and soul and what did he do but cheat. Even dough I trusted him with all I had there was too much temptation out there. That's why it's hard for me to beleive that long distance relationships really work no matter how much you love each other.

Amor
Amor
02/21/2011 4:57 am

I am mad, had a couple of this type of relationships.

I gave up on a 3 year relationship with a guy who lived in 1000km away who I saw perhaps once a month and had holidays with. We had fantastic and exciting weekends, occasionally I got for my flights paid as part of a business trip, and he often did too on his way to an offshore job. We used skype, text messages, emails and the occasional phone call. But eventual I started feeling like it was going nowhere.

We did have a lot in common, since we went to school together years ago, both lived abroad several years and were both going through a foreign divorce. Obviously more complicated than usual. We broke up a year ago, on my grounds of ‘the high OPPORTUNITY COST’. Since I am not meeting new guys or looking around for someone else. Got fed up with saying goodbye all the time, it made me real sad and became harder. But at the same time I couldnt imagine how it would be to live together all the time… we never had long enough together to DO daily life. Just weekends and holidays.

I went from bad to worse, I landed with a cross continent relationship with an old friend in Australia. I know i do pick them hey!

I was madly in love with him as a young girl but again dropped him since the relationship didnt move to a point. It was so much fun talking to him.

Skype communication is great even did the whole cybersex thing, (i am 50 – just to put it into perspective). We just couldnt stop seeing each other. Time zones are so different and talking to him started affecting my work. He used to get up at 5am to talk to me at my time around midnight. He decided that we must scale down, no discussion. Eventually he realised that I was so crazy about him and that it wasnt a good thing.

I am still angry with him, but I guess it was best. Because at £1000 flights the cost is prohibitive. Neither of us in a position to move right now. My kids in their final years at school here and his on the other continent.

Eventually it all boils down to: HOW MUCH DO YOU WANT EACH OTHER?