After selecting thirty random female dating profiles in my geographic area, I found that at least 75% of the women say that they are “independent.” Some women make it a point to mention it as early as possible in their profile and make it sound like it’s their most important quality. I realize that what they mean by this is all the right things – that they can provide for themselves and that they won’t burden a guy by needing financial support, that they pay their own bills and can make their own decisions. It is understandable why women would want to assure men that it’s not financial support that they are after.
However, when a typical guy hears a woman mention that she is independent, it often has a completely different connotation in his mind. He will start assuming that she is argumentative and competitive, that she will challenge him just for the sake of proving that she can and that he cannot control her, and that she might be an extreme feminist.
Being an independent woman is a great quality that must serve you well and in more than one avenue of life. However, you must take into account the perception that this term creates in many men’s mind, especially when they know nothing else about you, as it is in the case of meeting people on the online dating sites. Many guys have tasted the bitter taste of dealing with an “independent” girl – the kind of a woman who insists to have it her way all the time just to make a point that no one can tell her what to do, and who is a pain in the ass in many other related ways.
The easiest way to avoid creating this perception is by simply not mentioning at all in your profile that you are “independent.” It just doesn’t add anything flattering o your page. And, considering how many women say this in their dating profiles, it is just another cliche.
You may think that some guys are intimidated by independent women, and you might want to “filter” them out as early as possible, but the truth is that very few guys are bothered by women who are independent. What so many guys dislike is the attitude that comes with being “independent”, when you are independent in all the wrong ways – when you make it your life’s mission to prove to yourself and to the world around you that you have a penis that’s just as big as any guy’s.
On the other hand, if you can be strong and independent without flexing your muscles in a guy’s face and maintain your feminine appeal, your independence will not turn most guys off, unless you run into someone who is extremely insecure and who feels inadequate near a woman who accomplished something. Of course, you want to stay away from those kind of guys one way or the other.
..Personally, I would not include that word on a profile , if in fact I had one. I also wouldn't include it on ANY " social site", as it is so over-used and leaves it open to ' interpretation'; i.e : How independent is one ? is it financially, or just to let others know ' you have it all together"…? I don't find it necessary to say anything of the sort, since I would lean towards having things to have conversations about…in reference to the ' independent' thing. 🙂
100% agreed. It's way too cliché and overused and can mean so different things, so why even bother and say what everyone else does.
i respectfully disagree in the sense that is a sort of overreaction. nobody should assume a woman to be a radical feminist unless they have evidence.
i agree in the sense that throwing the word independent as a one-word adjective is cliche, but it's also important to discern how a woman views and talks about her independence. if she isn't defensive or judgmental about it, then it's fine.
i say it's okay to include that in your profile, as long as you don't over do it