Advice on Meeting and Dating Shy Girls

dating shy girlsBefore I dive into several useful tips on meeting shy girls, I believe it’s important to address the question whether it is a good idea, for you, as a guy, to try to approach, meet and date these shy girls. My answer is: absolutely! And this is for several reasons. First, many girls who make an impression of being shy are not actually shy at all once you break the ice and get to know them. Other girls are shy at first but later prove to be very outgoing socially and otherwise.

But even if the girl is truly shy, once you uncover her true self, you might just be in for a very pleasant surprise, as that shy girl often turns into a very passionate dating partner (and sex partner as well), who is in many ways more open minded sexually and otherwise than those who don’t seem to be more outgoing and open at first. Just because a girl doesn’t smile to every person who walks by her and doesn’t wear as short skirt in heels, doesn’t mean that she is not interested in men, dating and sex.

The opposite is true as well – just because a girl is hugging every guy at a club and twerking on the dance floor doesn’t mean that she has genuine desire and passion on the inside, as it could be all a show or a desperate attempt to attract attention that she is missing so much. So, don’t perceive the low-key demeanor, modest clothing and quiet voice as negative signs. Such a girl might just be smarter, more interesting, and more passionate in bed than many of those women who like to be in the “spotlight” or who also are known as “attention whores.”

Further, shy girls are a rare kind this day and age, when girls have so much experience, being bombarded with all kinds of communication from guys on Facebook, Tinder, OkCupid, etc… Girls today meet more guys and go out on more dates than ever before, which eliminates any kind of shyness and very quickly leads them to a very bad state of being emotionally unavailable due to dating fatigue. So, if you a meet a girl who is actually shy, she might just be much more emotionally available for love and attachments than all the other ones. And if you are looking for a serious connection with a woman, a little patience at first with a shy girl will likely pay off big time later.

So, if you laid your eye on a truly shy girl and would like to attract her, there are a few things you need to keep in mind. First, she is shy for one or more of the common reasons: she might be inexperienced with men, she might b verye attracted to you as well and is afraid to do/say the wrong thing, she might be conservative, believing that she is not supposed to show any signs of interest, or she might be all of the above at the same time. Some guys don’t like dealing with shy girls, but I believe that they often miss out on some of the best and the most passionate women out there, who just need a little time and encouragement to warm up to you.

Regardless of why a particular girl you met appears to be shy, you should consider the following tips to break the barriers between the two of you and bring you as close to each other as you want:

1. You should take things with a shy girl a bit slower than with other women.

You need to recognize that a shy girl needs more time to warm up to the idea of meeting a new guy, becoming comfortable around him and being intimate. Curb your flirting and your normal pace of physical advances, as this might overwhelm her and even scare her off. Once she is comfortable with you and ready to get close to you, you will know. Usually, it doesn’t take all that long. Many shy girls recognize their shyness and are trying to work on breaking their own barriers, even if it’s not obvious from their behavior. By being a bit more patient, you will help them find their own way toward you, and it’s so much more effective than being pressured into something.

2. Just as importantly, you must feel comfortable and act completely natural around a shy girl.

Even if being touched or kissed is a big deal to her, you must act like flirting and making graduate advances is the most natural thing for you. If she sees that you are comfortable around her, then she will subconsciously mirror your behavior sooner or later and will also become more comfortable with what the two of you are doing. This doesn’t mean that you have to disregard or disrespect the fact that it takes her longer to warm up to you, but it does mean that you shouldn’t encourage her to think that getting closer to you is not something that should take years.

3. If a shy girl rejects any of your advances, it might mean “not yet” and not necessarily “no.”  

This of course applies to all the other girls too. If a shy girls pushes you away when you try to hug her or kiss her, don’t assume right away that she is not interested or attracted to you. Instead, retreat and act like nothing bad happened and then try to make an advance later. Usually, a shy girl who is interested in you will feel guilty about pushing you away shortly after and will show far less resistance the next time you try to get closer to her. If she rejects you again, it’s perfectly appropriate to ask her if she finds you unattractive and whether you should stop bothering her. A girl who likes you will quickly deny that and will explain to you why she acts the way she does, which in itself will be a great ice-breaker and will bring the two of you closer together.

In sum, a shy girl might be a hidden treasure. It might take longer to find that treasure and bring out the passion in a shy girl, but that type of a woman might prove to be a great or even better partner than other, more outgoing women. This is because a shy woman probably had less experience with men, she is less jaded and less “tired” of dating, and therefore has more left to give to the one she really likes and trusts. You just need to follow a few tips to break that layer of shyness in order to discover that.

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Practical, effective dating tips and relationship advice.
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07/15/2012 4:23 am

@Dave (not my real name), man come on if u like her u like her there's no doubting that so what if she's shy just like da article said shy girls have a secret treasure waiting to be opened up!!!

Dave (not my real na
Dave (not my real na
08/18/2010 8:10 am


i really have a problem with this girl. This all started 2 months ago and it still keeps bothering me until now, because i really like her.

so this is my story: ok, so there's this girl i really liked(she's my next door neighbor) and one day i had the guts to knock on her door to ask her out for a walk at the park then she came along with her little brother and everything went well, we had a good time(i had the best time in my life) and then i got her number. So after that i waited approximately 3 days, then called her up, but she didn't answer and i didn't leave a voice mail, i just left her a text message stating who i am.. But ever since, i haven't heard from her. She did not text/call me back or anything.. then one day we met outside our apartment, i called her name but she turned her back and make it so i can't see her face, I didn't know what was going on O_O So, after the following weeks, i couldn't take it anymore, i just had to tell her how i feel about her, so i text her stating how i felt about her(i know it was a stupid thing to do) after that, she text me back saying she didn't feel the same way about me 🙁 it was really heart breaking, but i knew i had to take it like a man and move on. But then every time i see her, she would look down and turn red and wouldn't look at me. Then, just recently, i had a chance to talk to her cousin(in chat). And her cousin told me that she would always talk about me. Then her cousin stated that she is a shy person.

so my question is: should i just move on? or should i keep on pursuing?

P.S. -i know your name because i always watch your videos on YouTube 🙂

-i don't know where to post this, so i might as well post it here.

08/17/2010 3:23 am

How would a shy girl youre hanging out with generally react when it comes to eye contact if she's attracted to you? Also, is it a bad sign if they want to bring a friend when you hangout with her, but it seems like she genuinely wants to hangout?


09/25/2015 6:18 am
Reply to  James

I would assume that shy girls have a harder time maintaining eye contact.
I am not a fan at all of a third wheel on a date. Sometimes girls, bring a friend because they want to make it clear that it’s not really a date. Or, they are too shy and don’t want to deal with the pressure of meeting you one on one. I would suggest insisting on meeting one on one, because having a friend almost never helps but only distracts her from you and otherwise interferes with any potential chemistry.

08/14/2010 3:55 pm

I have a question.. If you ask a shy girl right away if she likes you, will you get an appropriate answer?