As I point out in the article about whether meeting a great guy is a matter of luck, standing out and not acting like everyone else can be very effective in finding and attracting that special guy, because it makes you stand out and come across as a special woman, unlike most others. One quality that will clearly make you stand out from the rest, whether you are a guy or a woman, is knowing how to accept criticism or unsolicited advice without getting defensive. Very few people are capable of this these days. Imagine your friend or someone you started seeing gives you advice or a suggestion about how you could do something better or criticizes something about your behavior, lifestyle or anything else.
Yet you, instead of telling him what most others would – “don’t judge me” or “I am going to be myself and if you can’t accept me for who I am, it’s too bad” – listen to what he says, try to understand where he is coming from, and see if it’s possible that he has a point. You may also say: “hmmm, interesting. I never thought of it that way”. This kind of response will make you come across as so much more mature, confident and classy than so many other people who simply can’t handle any kind of criticism or negative feedback.
Not responding defensively to tough love but instead – considering what you hear before deciding whether it’s valid or unfounded can also be of tremendous benefit to you in understanding how at least some other people out there may be perceiving your actions and behavior. This is because if one person is unhappy about something you say or do, chances are that it might rub some other people out there the wrong way too.
For instance, if one friend dares to tell you that you talk too much and you don’t listen nearly as well, it’s likely that at least some other people feel that way as well when they talk to you, but they just don’t bother to tell you that, because they don’t want to confront you or because they think it’s rude to point out something like that, or both. This single issue can be a major turn-off to the new people you meet that you are interested in romantically, and it can also be a deal breaker on your first dates. Most people have no idea that they talk too much, and they can go through life ruining their interactions and dates over and over without having a clue why things don’t work out and why their flirting and dates don’t go anywhere.
If you are lucky enough to have a person in your life who takes the time and effort to point something like thatout to you, this should help you fix that that issue, that you otherwise wouldn’t have even known was a problem to others.
It takes a lot of guts to criticize someone, and it’s so much easier to simply nod your head, smile and compliment others. If you learn how to appreciate negative feedback and constructive criticism instead of being offended by it, the benefits of it to you and to how you are perceived by the people around you will follow quicker than you think.
