Does Being Too Busy Make You More Attractive Today?

being too busyToday, it seems like a very cool thing to tell others that you are extremely busy. How often do you hear: “I have been extremely busy, and therefore I couldn’t do x or I couldn’t call y, or I couldn’t call/see you.” or “It has been really crazy at work/school lately”. Because so many people say this all the time, telling someone that you have been busy almost sounds redundant. Sometimes, I am very tempted to respond to someone saying that they have been too busy with something like  “Really? I thought you were sitting around and doing nothing all day, just staring in the window, like I have been doing for the past few months.”

Contrary to what some might think, telling others about how busy you are does not make you sound more attractive or more important. On the contrary, it makes you less attractive because it discourage the potential dating partners you meet from wanting to get to know you. They have all had their fair share of talking with people who are “too busy” and who are impossible to make plans with, and many of them want to avoid dealing with more people like that.

If you are a single guy living and actively dating in a big city, you know that setting up a date or even getting a call back from a woman you met can be a major project. It might make you wonder if those women you meet could use a secretary to make it easier to get a hold of them and meet up with them. If you are single girl in a big city, you probably met enough guys who seem to be extremely unavailable for one reason or another, and you wonder whether they are truly that busy, or whether they are playing games, or are just not that interested, or all of the above.

Being too busy is not flattering to you, whether you are a guy or a woman. It might have been attractive before, in the beginning of the digital age, but the idea of being a challenge, playing hard to get, etc… has play played out long time ago. Making yourself available for the things you want to do and people you want to see is a vital key to creating a romantic connection. Being available without having to plan a phone call or a dates for weeks is yet another opportunity for you to stand out from the rest of the people who seem to not be able to manage their life very well. When you make it easy to plan things with you, you immediately communicate that (a) you are in control of your life; and (2) dating is a priority to you because you are serious about finding a partner, and you are willing to put that part of our life ahead of working overtime, working out, volunteering, etc… however important and nobles those activities might be.

No guy can deny being impressed these days by a girl who returns his phone calls text messages promptly, and who shows up to meet him when and where she says she will. Similarly, no girl these days can take men’s availability and punctuality for granted.

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About practicalh

Practical, effective dating tips and relationship advice.
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StarsCollide
StarsCollide
6 years ago

People who use the word “busy” are not only irritating but also means they are not busy in the first place.

And of course, it is attractive to see when men and women stick to their word. If in circumstances there is a valid reason to reschedule dates, call the person about it and not thru text. Not sticking to our word only creates distrust.

practicalh
6 years ago
Reply to  StarsCollide

Well said. There is an opportunity for anyone today to establish themselves early on as a person who operates on a higher level and being responsible v another one of the many flakes. I just ran into this really good article about being busy http://nosidebar.com/busyness/

StarsCollide
StarsCollide
6 years ago
Reply to  practicalh

Read it! Interesting article.
Enjoy the present and the little things in life.

transformers age Of
7 years ago

Hey! I know this is kind of off topic but I was wondering

if you knew where I could find a captcha plugin for my

comment form? I'm using the same blog platform as yours and I'm having

problems finding one? Thanks a lot!

AllTheBest
AllTheBest
8 years ago

As a matter of fact I am usually up to my eyeballs. But – if long-term FWB phones up wanting some fun and games I WILL go once I have finished my task/ job in hand, because it is just so much fun!

On the other hand, if the creepy guy with the peculiar strangulated voice emails …the one who has wanted tohave "a relationship" for ages but whom I have given ample hints that this will not happen (actually I don't feel sorry for him even though he is ugly as ugly guys try 500% harder and may even be bigger slags than handsome guys for that reason…and because he is also the biggest fake in the universe, pretending to be kind and helpful and then backstabbing) then I say I am busy. In fact, I don't need to anymore, as I put him out of his misery and told him the straight-up-and-down truth.

John
John
8 years ago

The last girl I wanted to ask out gave me the run around for 2 weeks, continuing to change plan on us going out. I eventually gave up, as this was just too much work to go out with someone on a date.