It’s not uncommon for guys to fall into this strange pattern. They continue attracting women who they are not really interested in, and they also fail over and over to attract those women who they are very much interested in getting to know, dating, and possibly having a long-term relationship. So, how can one break that pattern?
In order to solve this roadblock toward a more successful dating life, it is first essential to understand why this is happening. There is a number of possible reasons:
1. You behavior is radically different with the women who you really like.
It is possible that while you are being very relaxed, while you are speaking your mind and saying and doing “risky” things around women you don’t care for, you are “walking on eggshells” with women who you do like, being concerned about making a mistake and screwing things up, and that very fear actually screws things up more than anything else. I have seen how guys make inappropriate jokes and being sarcastic and don’t hesitate to disagree on different issues with women who they don’t care for, and how excessively polite, agreeable and “neutral” they are when they are out with someone who they really like. The latter behavior is not attractive to most coom women (and by “cool” I mean sophisticated, interesting, and funny at the very least). It is your and only your job to figure out if you subsconciously change your behavior to being extremely nice and excessively accommodating when interacting with women you really like. And, if that’s the case, you must stop acting that way because it hasn’t worked for you so far.
2. You show to the women you are attracted to that you really like them way too early in your interactions with them.
Great women want to be adored, but they want to be adored by a guy who they adore themselves, and being adored by a woman takes time – she has to get to know you. Very attractive women are tired of being attractive to every random guy. It doesn’t do anything for them except perhaps annoying them. They want to be attractive to that special guy who they are crazy about. So, become that special guy first before you show how you feel about them. Don’t tell the woman you like on a first, second or a third date: “I really like you… I see us being together for a long time… I am falling for you…” or any other lines that belong only in Hollywood. Don’t tell a woman you really like her until and unless it’s abundantly clear to you that she is crazy about you. This is not about being a challenge; it’s about maintaining romantic tension and attraction and about not having a woman go back home and instead of thinking about you, thinking about other things, as she already knows that you like her and there isn’t much she needs to do more.
3. You are attracted to the wrong kind of women without recognizing the pattern.
It’s not a secret that some guys are attracted to high-maintenance, unapproachable, snoody, b-tchy type of a woman. One of the reasons for this is rooted deeply into our sexuality. Many of us, guys, like to be dominated in more or less subtle ways. Having a woman with an attitude is extremely arousing to many of us, so we subsconsciously looking for a woman who walks like she owns her surroundings and who acts like nothing and no one is good enough for her. If that’s the case with you, you should (a) seriously reevaluate your taste in women; and also (b) realize that some women who are quite humble and down-to-earth on the outside are very adventurous in bed, and can surprise you by fullfilling many of your fantasize and even go beyond that.
4. You reject the women who are interested in you because they seem to be an easy target.
Some guys automatically lose interest in a woman who seems clearly interested in them shortly after they start dating. As strange as it might sound, I am not sure if there is anything that can be done about becoming attracted to that type of women. Thrill and passion are born in large part out of insecurity, out of thinking about the person and not being sure whether she wants to be with you – at least for a while. If that emotion is taken away from a guy, his feelings are not likely to be as strong as they would be if a woman had and showed a little more pride. Otherwise, you will take a woman for granted like you do anything that comes without effort.
5. You are either too passive or too aggressive physically with women who you really like.
You might be far too cautious with women who you really are attracted to, being concerned about scaring them off and you take this to an extreme, not showing to those women that you are physically attracted to them. This can be as detrimental to attraction as being overly aggressive and being “all over” a woman on a first date. The golden rule is doing what you want, when you want and feel comfortable with, considering the other person’s comfort level. You cannot offend a great woman who likes you by showing to her that you find her physically desireable even if she stops your advances at a certain point. It is still flattering to her to know that she is being wanted. So, don’t be afraid to show that you want her when the time and place is right.
Stop for a moment and look at the above five factors. Does one or more of those elements influence your dating life. Only you know. Once you identify what prevents you from attracting those women who you like, you can take conscious action to fix the problem.
