Have you noticed that the best cafes and restaurants do not have the fanciest and the flashiest lobbies and the most expensive decor? Did it occur to you that the bars and clubs with the most moving music and the best atmosphere are almost always away from the main streets? Did you notice that the truly smart and the most accomplished people try to remain low key and don’t put their achievements and their persona on display? Well, be assured that none of the above is a coincidence. Real value and real confidence is indeed low-key. It doesn’t scream, it doesn’t say “look at me; I am all that!” because it doesn’t need to, as it has a value which is apparent to those who can appreciate it and is hidden from those who don’t belong.
The same applies to how some women look at guys. Single, attractive, quality women with enough life experience to know what a man’s behavior means have opinions. They know what they like and what they wish to avoid. They passionately admire the things and the people they respect, and they ruthlessly mock and ridicule other things and people that deserve the same. These women have been around and they can tell a confident guy when they meet one. They also have no tolerance for cheesy guys – the guys who try too hard to be something they think is attractive, when in fact it’s borderline repulsive.
Being cheesy usually means having a certain attitude and a certain style:
(a) Attitude – acting macho and adopting slang language that clearly doesn’t belong to you and your natural vocabulary will make you sound ridiculous. You are not in a James Bond movie, so don’t carry yourself as if you were a secret agent. There is no need to.
(b) Style – wearing a tank top, jewelry, having lots of tattoos all over your body might be an attractive “bad boy” look to the average girl, but it will come across as a lame attempt to stand out in all the wrong ways to a woman who knows better. If you want to be different, try to be different in more significant ways than looking like a “Jersey Shore” character. Next time you go out to a bar or a club, look at the guys around you who have too much gel on their hair, who pop their collar and who try to look “too good.” These guys look like clowns to quality, smart, perceptive women, who associate this kind of men with lack of any depth or substance.
On the other hand, gaining more education, professional success, developing better communication skills and sense of humor, getting in better shape and learning how to dance are just some things that will make you a far more attractive man.
Great, classy women associate quality men with subtlety – subtlety in behavior, style, speech, and even a tone of voice. If you are acting like you are begging for attention, such as being louder than everyone else around, it is not going to impress a woman who knows better. So, if you are interested in meeting and attracting a woman of a higher intellectual and mental caliber, avoid coming across as a cheesy guy and as someone who tries too hard to impress and in all the wrong ways.
This is so true. I think though that you can tell this over and over to most people and it will fall on deaf ears. All the crap people stay about relations among women and men is really true be most women and most men fit into that category.
I would even venture out to say that truly quality people only prefer other truly quality people. They don't worry about trying to make every dick, tom, and harry into what they want to be "quality". I feel like this is where alot of people go wrong. They waste time trying to change other people into what they want rather than seeking out what fits that criteria.
I am a senior in college but I really do know how I am and what kind of person I want. I believe I am a quality person, and when that being said I dont go around talking about it. It just is, so I dont see the need.
I for one and not mad at all the d-bags out there. They can be like that if they want. Hell, women can like it too. Its not really my prerogative. Because as a quality individual I will just seek out someone like me. I don't need to waste time on worrying about what everyone is doing and how they are behaving.
Really good post.