At least in the US, statistics suggest that a lot, if not the majority of stress in many relationship is caused by money related problems. I doubt that it is very different in other parts of the world. While the United States might have a more capitalistic set up, people work everywhere, and they earn and spend money in every part of the world. It’s a fact that many relationship turn sour and end because of financial problems.
While it might not be possible for you to instantly start making more money, reduce your debt or otherwise solve the financial problems in your relationship, a few simple steps can be taken that will help you deal with those problems better and not allow them to adversely affect or ruin your relationship. One such important step is recognizing, accepting, and admitting the value and the importance of money, and not being embarrassed by it, as it’s completely natural to care about money in a relationship. Too many people are ashamed of admitting that money matters, especially when it comes to dealing with money related issues with their partner. It’s not romantic; it seems to not be compatible with the very notion of love and selfless care. It’s hard to bring up finances when all you are supposed to care is how you feel about each other. But in real life, things simply don’t work like that and you must have a degree of pragmatism if you want to preserve and enjoy the romance. It is critical, to recognize and to be able to openly and comfortable admit that money is important to you and to your relationships. Financial stability is important to you and your partner. It goes without saying that we all need money to survive and enjoy many of life’s pleasures. While some great things out there are free, many other things cost money and some are quite expensive.
Denying the value and the importance of money is hypocritical and it will prevent you from being able to candidly discuss such things like budgeting, spending habits, debt, future planning, career planning, etc. And if you can’t discuss the financial issues you are facing, you obviously won’t be able to solve them.
While it might not be romantic for two lovers to discuss money, if you are anywhere near thinking about or being in a serious, committed relationship, it absolutely must be done. You must feel comfortable talking about money and solving any issues or disagreement you might have about how you manage your money. Among other things, any successful romantic relationship must also be a successful business relationship. You cannot be happy with your partner, if you resent him/her for being cheap or if you feel that you are being taken advantage of, or if you stress about the reckless spending habits of the person you date, or if your mutual debt spins out of control. It will be virtually impossible to focus on love and affection if the cloud of financial problems hangs over either or both of you, or even worse – if you don’t feel comfortable talking about your money problems, thereby allowing them to get worse. By making that first crucial step of openly admitting that money is important to both of you, and not adopting the “I don’t care about money” approach, you will likely be far more effective at solving your financial problems and feeling far more comfortable in a relationship.
I realize that discussing how much each of you should pay for rent and groceries is not exactly the most riveting erotic or sensual experience, but it must be done when necessary, and it’s surely a far better option than allowing the resentment against your partner build inside of you for not solving such an issue build up in you.